APRIL FOOLS....I ****ING HATE IT
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I love April Fools Day!!!
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A couple races to the hospital to give birth to their first child. Afterwards, the doctor tells them the baby is a healthy 7 pound boy. However, he says, the child was born without a torso. It is a head only. Healthy, but just a head. The couple are determined though, to take their child home and raise it and love it.
On the child's 12th birthday, they get a call from a local hospital. A donor torso has been made available and if the family acts quickly, the head can be attached and a normal life can be expected for their child. The parents are excited and tell their son "we have a wonderful birthday present for you!" The lad replies, "I hope so. Just as long as it's not another f___ing hat."
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Originally posted by baja View PostA couple races to the hospital to give birth to their first child. Afterwards, the doctor tells them the baby is a healthy 7 pound boy. However, he says, the child was born without a torso. It is a head only. Healthy, but just a head. The couple are determined though, to take their child home and raise it and love it.
On the child's 12th birthday, they get a call from a local hospital. A donor torso has been made available and if the family acts quickly, the head can be attached and a normal life can be expected for their child. The parents are excited and tell their son "we have a wonderful birthday present for you!" The lad replies, "I hope so. Just as long as it's not another f___ing hat."
April Fools! I lol'd.
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Originally posted by baja View PostA couple races to the hospital to give birth to their first child. Afterwards, the doctor tells them the baby is a healthy 7 pound boy. However, he says, the child was born without a torso. It is a head only. Healthy, but just a head. The couple are determined though, to take their child home and raise it and love it.
On the child's 12th birthday, they get a call from a local hospital. A donor torso has been made available and if the family acts quickly, the head can be attached and a normal life can be expected for their child. The parents are excited and tell their son "we have a wonderful birthday present for you!" The lad replies, "I hope so. Just as long as it's not another f___ing hat."
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely Caucasian,white baby boy.
"Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents.
"Well Mr.Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?"
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we name him Sum Ting Wong.
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Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.
Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing!
Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing.
Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house, walked home .... and left it there all night.
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Originally posted by Miss I. View PostSo my tenant stole my refrigerator from my house today and all that kept going through my head was this phone prank: "Is your refrigerator running?" "IT is, well you better go catch it."
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Last week my wife came home earlier than she ever has and caught me, naked, watching porn, and stroking it with a mask and snorkel on.
There's not really much to say at that point. She walked right past me and went into the bedroom. I quickly turned the porn off, put on some pants, and took the mask and snorkel off. Five minutes later she came out of the bedroom and asked how my day was... it was like she didn't just catch me throttling myself with a mask and snorkel on. The rest of the evening went as normal. We had macaroni and cheese for dinner, and then watched the simpsons.
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