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GoshDarnit!

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  • GoshDarnit!

    So, last week I began wearing a different Broncos themed piece of clothing every day to work (teacher, high school). Walking out of work on Friday this woman falls down on some ice and can't get up. Security comes out and calls for an ambulance and we're told 10-15 minutes there should be some help there. It's about 20 degrees out (New Jersey) and she has a light shoal on because she's a selfish dullard. I've got my 2005 AFC Dvision Champions sweatshirt on, complete with wing sauce stains on the right sleeve, a cigarette burn hole in the back and fun juice marks ALL over it. The security guard asks if anyone has a sweatshirt or something warm for her to wait in and looks dead at me...I hesitate and finally my conscience overrides rational thought and I lay out my sweatshirt for her to BORROW until the ambulance comes. I wait a few minutes and another security guard comes and lays out a blanket on top of the sweatshirt, hence giving her a DOUBLE COATING of warmth...by now there is a crowd around us and she is moaning in pain (looking for that workers comp money)
    I have to coach a basketball practice 20 minutes away in about 10 minutes while we're still waiting for the ambulance. I attempt a few times to reach down and reclaim my sweatshirt but each time I do, im worried its looking like i'm an inconsiderate bastard, or a psychopathic pervert trying to cop a feel on this middle aged lunchlady. I think about my options:

    1) leave and call it a loss
    2) grab the sweatshirt and care less about how it looks grabbing it while this woman is writhing in pain
    3) go all in with getting the sweatshirt back which means skipping my bball practice and hopping in the ambulance with her
    4) leave my classroom number and hope it comes back

    I chose #4 and I'm sill waiting for the sweatshirt...apparently nobody can find it and the woman is out of school with an injury.....that's my 2005 AFC Divisional Champions sweatshirt MAN!!!!! With the fun juice and wing sauce on it!!!

    I think its a bad omen.....any suggestions for reversing such bad luck....do I kick a ferel cat in the teeth? Moon a schoolbus of pre-school children?? help!

  • #2
    the football Gods will be pleased. Go buy another sweatshirt, ya cheap bastard.

    Comment


    • #3
      Well I'll be wearing my unwashed pajama bottoms, Broncos T-shirt and Manning Jersey.

      Really, since you donated your sweatshirt to a really good cause, an act of charity, this may have been the sacrifice to football gods that guarantees we win. This would be different if you used it to put out a fire you started or some hoodlum tagged it with spray paint. This may be a good thing.

      Also my daughter has been eating Orange and Blue food every Sunday morning. And I have been eating Fosted Mini-wheats. I'm sorry but if I hit all that stuff again, KCSheepstud could drop a deuce on your sweater and we'd still win.
      Last edited by Kaylore; 01-28-2014, 10:43 AM.

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      • #4
        I'll keep an eye out for it on eBay...

        What size is it...?

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        • #5
          fun juice...

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by vancejohnson82 View Post
            So, last week I began wearing a different Broncos themed piece of clothing every day to work (teacher, high school). Walking out of work on Friday this woman falls down on some ice and can't get up. Security comes out and calls for an ambulance and we're told 10-15 minutes there should be some help there. It's about 20 degrees out (New Jersey) and she has a light shoal on because she's a selfish dullard. I've got my 2005 AFC Dvision Champions sweatshirt on, complete with wing sauce stains on the right sleeve, a cigarette burn hole in the back and fun juice marks ALL over it. The security guard asks if anyone has a sweatshirt or something warm for her to wait in and looks dead at me...I hesitate and finally my conscience overrides rational thought and I lay out my sweatshirt for her to BORROW until the ambulance comes. I wait a few minutes and another security guard comes and lays out a blanket on top of the sweatshirt, hence giving her a DOUBLE COATING of warmth...by now there is a crowd around us and she is moaning in pain (looking for that workers comp money)
            I have to coach a basketball practice 20 minutes away in about 10 minutes while we're still waiting for the ambulance. I attempt a few times to reach down and reclaim my sweatshirt but each time I do, im worried its looking like i'm an inconsiderate bastard, or a psychopathic pervert trying to cop a feel on this middle aged lunchlady. I think about my options:

            1) leave and call it a loss
            2) grab the sweatshirt and care less about how it looks grabbing it while this woman is writhing in pain
            3) go all in with getting the sweatshirt back which means skipping my bball practice and hopping in the ambulance with her
            4) leave my classroom number and hope it comes back

            I chose #4 and I'm sill waiting for the sweatshirt...apparently nobody can find it and the woman is out of school with an injury.....that's my 2005 AFC Divisional Champions sweatshirt MAN!!!!! With the fun juice and wing sauce on it!!!

            I think its a bad omen.....any suggestions for reversing such bad luck....do I kick a ferel cat in the teeth? Moon a schoolbus of pre-school children?? help!
            Visualizing #3 made me .

            I can just see it now
            "sir, no need to worry...your wife will be fine"
            "she's not my wife"
            "girlfriend?"
            "nope"
            "sister?....Mother?"
            "I have no ****ing idea who she is but she is wearing my 2005 Division Champions Sweatshirt and that makes her the most important woman in the world to me right now"
            Last edited by andyh64000; 01-28-2014, 10:43 AM.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Kaylore View Post
              Well I'll be wearing my unwashed pajama bottoms, Broncos T-shirt and Manning Jersey.

              Really, since you donated your sweatshirt to a really good cause, an act of charity this may have been the sacrifice to football gods that guarantees we win. This would be different if you used it to put out a fire you started or some hoodlum tagged it with spray paint. This may be a good thing.
              This!

              Comment


              • #8
                At this point, I think you need to start collecting good luck charms to make up for the devastating loss. I'd recommend:

                1. Bundles of Cinnamon sticks.

                2. Fishbowl, but must contain proper mix of 8 gold fishes and one black fish. Otherwise, don't bother.

                3. White Socks. And it wouldn't hurt to wear an extra pair on your hands.

                4. A raccoon penis bone. A baculum from any other animal doesn't count, unfortunately.

                5. And, if you are desperate, a "Hello Kitty" phone charm, but watch out for the karmic backlash later on.

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                • #9
                  Maybe she will sell it. I would after that workers comp comment.

                  But hey good luck

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Ok, so I guess I'll go ahead and chalk it up as a sacrifice to the football god's....

                    I will, however, keep an eye out for a raccoon penis bone...

                    All this happened approximately 2 weeks after my man cave was destroyed in a flood too...BUT, both the Elway signed jersey, Manning jersey, Bailey helmet and old Mile High picture were miraculously unharmed

                    its been a strange end to the season....also, had media day tickets today but wasn't able to take off of work because of an "emergency" meeting

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                    • #11
                      We lost that year. So yeah. Get a new sweatshirt.

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                      • #12
                        Honest question.....What kind of high school do you work at that allows teachers to wear ripped clothing with food and jizz stains? Do you teach blind kids?

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                        • #13
                          That sucks about your man cave...



                          Please define, "...fun juice".
                          It's not a Lewinsky/Clinton-type thing, is it?

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Beantown Bronco View Post
                            Honest question.....What kind of high school do you work at that allows teachers to wear ripped clothing with food and jizz stains? Do you teach blind kids?
                            that's my outerwear...once I'm in the building its all gotta come off for the teaching duds

                            I teach in Paterson, NJ (home of Mike Adams)....I teach at the school Lean on Me was made about (Crazy Joe Clark)

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                            • #15
                              You are conveniently ignoring the fun juice questions.

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