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Stephen Gostkowski is twice the kicka Vinatieri evah was! Who is Matt Pratah? I could ****in kick 64 yahds at Mile High! Gostkowski is the best evah! Vinatieri is a Benedict Ahnahld.
The Broncos don't have a chance for way too many reasons for me to explain. One, history. Period. When the pats joined the NFL in 2001, Boom!, we won the superbowl and we kept winning them. It didn't matter who we played, we beat em all...cowboys, bills, yankees...we kicked all their asses. If you part-timers knew your sports history...you'd know you'd be better off surfing or whatever else you do in denver.
And third reason. Skill players, we've got them everywhere. You don't. Start at QB, we've got Brady...and bledsoe backing him up! Who you got? You probably don't even know the name of your back-up QB. Probably don't have one...or even a goalie. Nuff said. By the third period, I'll be laughing my ass off as we're running up the score hitting those three pointers!
The Broncos don't have a chance for way too many reasons for me to explain. One, history. Period. When the pats joined the NFL in 2001, Boom!, we won the superbowl and we kept winning them. It didn't matter who we played, we beat em all...cowboys, bills, yankees...we kicked all their asses. If you part-timers knew your sports history...you'd know you'd be better off surfing or whatever else you do in denver.
And third reason. Skill players, we've got them everywhere. You don't. Start at QB, we've got Brady...and bledsoe backing him up! Who you got? You probably don't even know the name of your back-up QB. Probably don't have one...or even a goalie. Nuff said. By the third period, I'll be laughing my ass off as we're running up the score hitting those three pointers!
The Broncos don't have a chance for way too many reasons for me to explain. One, history. Period. When the pats joined the NFL in 2001, Boom!, we won the superbowl and we kept winning them. It didn't matter who we played, we beat em all...cowboys, bills, yankees...we kicked all their asses. If you part-timers knew your sports history...you'd know you'd be better off surfing or whatever else you do in denver.
And third reason. Skill players, we've got them everywhere. You don't. Start at QB, we've got Brady...and bledsoe backing him up! Who you got? You probably don't even know the name of your back-up QB. Probably don't have one...or even a goalie. Nuff said. By the third period, I'll be laughing my ass off as we're running up the score hitting those three pointers!
Signed,
Devoted Pats Fan
*I know I'm missing the chowder accent...
Good enough that we're issuing a one time 5-post rule waiver.
The Broncos don't have a chance for way too many reasons for me to explain. One, history. Period. When the pats joined the NFL in 2001, Boom!, we won the superbowl and we kept winning them. It didn't matter who we played, we beat em all...cowboys, bills, yankees...we kicked all their asses. If you part-timers knew your sports history...you'd know you'd be better off surfing or whatever else you do in denver.
And third reason. Skill players, we've got them everywhere. You don't. Start at QB, we've got Brady...and bledsoe backing him up! Who you got? You probably don't even know the name of your back-up QB. Probably don't have one...or even a goalie. Nuff said. By the third period, I'll be laughing my ass off as we're running up the score hitting those three pointers!
If you look at my NFL Mount Rushmore scale of Misery (captioned using only quotes from Swingers) it's clear that Tom Brady is alone at the top of the Pyramid of Clutch Quarterbacks. My college buddies I hung out with in Vegas last week confirm this. Peyton Manning's arm, however, has been reduced to the Johnny Damon region of my Periodic Table of Athletic Limbs. My colleague Magic Johnson (Did you know I get to hang out with Magic Johnson?) confirms this.
It has been 3 month since a Boston team has won a championship. We need this. On the Cursed Sports City Scale (2014 edition) the Pats are clearly in the Schottenheimer zone and our fans deserve this. My friend Malcolm Gladwell confirms this.
Welker's about as popular as a hoodsie cup in January. I'll bet any Denver fan a box of Dunkin' Donuts k-cups or a case of Natty Lite that Tom Brady has fewer interceptions than Peyton Manning.
The Broncos don't have a chance for way too many reasons for me to explain. One, history. Period. When the pats joined the NFL in 2001, Boom!, we won the superbowl and we kept winning them. It didn't matter who we played, we beat em all...cowboys, bills, yankees...we kicked all their asses. If you part-timers knew your sports history...you'd know you'd be better off surfing or whatever else you do in denver.
And third reason. Skill players, we've got them everywhere. You don't. Start at QB, we've got Brady...and bledsoe backing him up! Who you got? You probably don't even know the name of your back-up QB. Probably don't have one...or even a goalie. Nuff said. By the third period, I'll be laughing my ass off as we're running up the score hitting those three pointers!
1) My wife and I have both agreed that our dream threesome would be with Tom Brady. That doesn't make me gay, does it?
2) Bill Belichick is better than anyone else at taking away your best player, exploiting your worst player, and secretly taping your other 20 players while they practice. My prediction for this game: Coach Belichick's knob 1, my mouth 0.
3) Coffeenerdness: if you have to have a coffee enema, you could do worse than Starbucks' Holiday Blend. I take it like Terrell Davis after Hall of Fame voting every year - black and bitter.
4) The reason no Broncos ever make the Hall of Fame? Too many late games -- after the Pats play at 1:00 p.m. ET, I usually need a good nap. How could I possibly vote for players who I've never watched? It just wouldn't be right. It is a travesty that Troy Brown hasn't made it in yet, though.
1) My wife and I have both agreed that our dream threesome would be with Tom Brady. That doesn't make me gay, does it?
2) Bill Belichick is better than anyone else at taking away your best player, exploiting your worst player, and secretly taping your other 20 players while they practice. My prediction for this game: Coach Belichick's knob 1, my mouth 0.
3) Coffeenerdness: if you have to have a coffee enema, you could do worse than Starbucks' Holiday Blend. I take it like Terrell Davis after Hall of Fame voting every year - black and bitter.
4) The reason no Broncos ever make the Hall of Fame? Too many late games -- after the Pats play at 1:00 p.m. ET, I usually need a good nap. How could I possibly vote for players who I've never watched? It just wouldn't be right. It is a travesty that Troy Brown hasn't made it in yet, though.
So I'm at this faucking dive bah in Southie where O'Hoolihan's kid sistah is just giving the faucking business. Ya know, she's wicked mad I ain't been coming round lil Sully no mo and how I'm late with that bull**** child support. So I tells her I've got her child support right faucking here and so we go out back and fauck and she's crying and I tell her shut up who the fauck are ya Peyton Manning?
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