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'Twas the Night Before Kickoff...

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  • 'Twas the Night Before Kickoff...

    I created this back during the first year of the Mane, and thought I'd share it again...


    'Twas the night before Kick-off, and all through the house
    Not a creature was stirring, except me and my mouse;
    Surfing the Internet, with eyes in a stare
    hoping new football information would present itself there.

    I was previously nestled, all snug in my bed
    with visions of touchdown dances in my head.
    And my wife in her nighty, the cat in her lap
    knows that Sundays are mine, for a game and a nap.

    When up in my head arose such a clatter,
    I sat up straight to attend to the matter.
    Away to the Internet I flew like a flash,
    How did the opposing corner do in the 40 yard dash?

    And will our quarterback earn all of that dough
    and can he do better than he did a season ago?
    When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
    But endless statistics, of days past and last year.

    I poured over them, so lively and quick,
    If I can't watch football now, stats will have to do the trick.
    I dissected those stats, game after game,
    With box-scores in my head, but it wasn't the same;

    Now rush them, now sack them, now cover, now blitz them!
    Now pass it, now run it, that cheerleader's a vixen!
    Now look at the scoreboard! Up there on the wall!
    We're beating them soundly! Both sides of the ball!

    In my mind, games of past like a hurricane fly,
    With points on the scoreboard, and fireworks in the sky
    And thoughts of that other coach, as he sits and he stews,
    With a face full of rage, his hair falling out too.

    And our coach is smiling, his gameplan is foolproof
    while opposing fans cry, and look all aloof.
    Our runningback's on fire, as he's running around,
    Easily gaining over a hundred yards on the ground.

    He's sneaking and snaking, from left to right foot,
    And his uniform is dirty, from all the output;
    The linemen are blocking, and getting his back,
    And they keep the defenders from getting a sack.

    The quarterback's arm -- making their defense so weary!
    He scrambles in the pocket, his moves are so scary!
    He's calling the cadence, making defenders go,
    I can't wait to see this guy play in the snow!

    And the opposing offense, gritting their teeth,
    As our defenders pile on, their runningback beneath;
    He held the ball tightly, right near his belly,
    Then we shook, and we took, as if his arms were like jelly.

    Their quarterback shaken, their backup comes off the shelf,
    And I laughed when I saw him throw the ball to himself;
    A tear his eye and a hang in his head,
    Our defenders barking and drooling, filling him with dread;

    Our coach kept piling on, paying off all that work,
    And filled up the scoreboard; thier coach looks like a jerk,
    Up on the scoreboard, the score rose and rose,
    Many points on our side, on the other side zeros!

    And at the last tick of the clock, the ref blew his whistle,
    with the ball sailing toward the endzone like a missle.
    And as I snapped out of it, I regained my sight,
    "HAPPY SUNDAY TO ALL, AND ALSO MONDAY-NIGHT!"

    --credit Taco John at OrangeMane.com

  • #2
    Ahhh...thanks TJ...indeed, the biggest day of the year for a football fan is near and have always enjoyed that one.

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    • #3
      Thank TJ

      And for the everyone else, the short fat guy in red is not Santa, but Boob going to his next Star Trek Fan meeting

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      • #4
        Nice

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        • #5
          Ahh football! The freshman team is warming up in the field by my house. IT'S GAMETIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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          • #6
            I literally screamed at the top of my lungs as if it were the broncos and I was at Mile High and John Elway was walking on to the field when kickoff happened thursday.

            The offseason is such bull****. Play some god damn football already!

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            • #7
              No mice dare to come near this place. They better be quiet. One died in the garage and I scolded kitty. He probably killed it but didn't clean up his kill, instead probably batted it 'round and ate friskies. I should send him out to the farm where there is all kinds of grain and mean Rats and Wolverines for a refresher course. He's much too "tamed" however. He's like a hippie cat chasing butterflies.

              BTW, Texas is going to knock the Buck Teeth out of OSU.

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              • #8
                wow.

                awesome taco.
                very well done.

                im excited. cant wait. butterflies already.
                24 hours and 55 minutes till kickoff.

                jake

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                • #9
                  you had me at Twas....

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by watermock
                    No mice dare to come near this place. They better be quiet. One died in the garage and I scolded kitty. He probably killed it but didn't clean up his kill, instead probably batted it 'round and ate friskies. I should send him out to the farm where there is all kinds of grain and mean Rats and Wolverines for a refresher course. He's much too "tamed" however. He's like a hippie cat chasing butterflies.

                    BTW, Texas is going to knock the Buck Teeth out of OSU.
                    Again with the ****ing cat talk...

                    Oh well, at least I agree that Texas will win!

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                    • #11
                      Awesome poem TJ!!

                      Man i cant wait for tommorow, gonna be sweet!!

                      BTW, when was the inagural year of the Mane??

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by ludo21
                        Awesome poem TJ!!

                        Man i cant wait for tommorow, gonna be sweet!!

                        BTW, when was the inagural year of the Mane??

                        unofficially, 2000... That's when I first started trying to get this thing on it's feet, but failed a couple of different times.

                        Officially... 2001... We've been going like a rocketship ever since...

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                        • #13
                          She packed my bags last night pre-flight
                          Zero hour nine a.m.
                          And I’m gonna be high as a kite by then
                          I miss the earth so much I miss my wife
                          It’s lonely out in space
                          On such a timeless flight

                          And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
                          Till touch down brings me round again to find
                          I’m not the man they think I am at home
                          Oh no no no I’m a rocket man
                          Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone


                          Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids
                          In fact it’s cold as hell
                          And there’s no one there to raise them if you did
                          And all this science I don’t understand
                          It’s just my job five days a week
                          A rocket man, a rocket man

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                          • #14
                            Now pass it, now run it, that cheerleader's a vixen!

                            best part


                            nice poem man

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                            • #15
                              Oh man... I'm going to have a hard time getting to sleep tonight...

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