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OT - Need some advice from neutral people(serious please)

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  • OT - Need some advice from neutral people(serious please)

    Okay, I'm in the process of making a decision in my life, and need some advice.

    I am currently living in Texas, and I hate it here, only reason I moved here was to be near my family. However, there are family issues and I really want to move away.
    First, let me say I got involved with a great woman, and we got engaged not too long ago. She moved here in Texas to be with me, but alas, she hates it here too. Now, I don't want to get in too many details, but she had a terrible childhood that caused her to have to drop out of high school, but is set on getting a GED to get into college. She is 22, and I am 25 with a Bachelor's in Accounting from University of Oklahoma. I have an okay job for a private company here, but could definitely get a better one with the economy picking up. She hasn't had a job because she continues to get hired at a place and either not like it, or the pay/hours are **** and no use working it for getting the price back to cover the gas.
    Also, she has a 4 year old daughter, so makes it tougher.
    Now, she comes from the East Coast, Myrtle Beach, SC. She is very easy-going, comfortable and I'll say "care-free". Most people over there are. Well, she tells me we can move to Myrtle Beach, cut our expenses down, she can easily get a job as a server, and she has contacts and a staffing agency that can get me a job in a month. Basically, become financially stable because we aren't here.
    Now, my parents/family will be upset due to the fact that I am leaving a job, known income, to go someplace where there is no guarantee, and also have no money.

    I know I'm leaving some stuff out, but basically, I want to hear what other people think of moving out there, which she wants to do in June, for what she feels is the right thing to do, and will make us stable and happy.

  • #2
    At the age of 25, you can take some gambles. Follow your heart.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by TheReverend View Post
      Break up. Dead serious.
      Interesting....

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Rohirrim View Post
        At the age of 25, you can take some gambles. Follow your heart.
        This... no kids, no mortgage, not much to lose. Almost assuredly you wont do it when you are 45.

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        • #5
          Honestly some of my best decisions in life have been diving head first into something completely unknown. If you have a partner who is the way you describe, this kind of move would likely improve your relationship even if there are some tough times initially.

          Take the plunge, and don't live with regret for not doing something that could potentially be great, or out of fear of the unknown. IMO.

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          • #6
            Personally, I wouldn't be able to just pick up and go without getting a job first. If you can, I would suggest looking for a job out there before moving. If you are lucky, you will find one that pays for the move as well. That would also make it so your family doesn't have to worry about you leaving your current job.

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            • #7
              Well, I'll tell you that I love Myrtle Beach. Of course, I've only been there for a handful of vacations, so living there would probably be a lot different. But I love that place!

              That said, you had better be pretty darn sure the relationship is going to work before you go out there.

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              • #8
                Get a job before you move, not after.

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                • #9
                  Why not take some time off, a week or so, and go down to South Carolina. See for yourself what it is or isn't. What your job opportunities might be, salaries, general cost of living things.

                  Get all the information. Think it over critically, taking her out of the situation.

                  What is best for you?
                  Will I be happier here or there?

                  Things change in a hurry, and if you are moving to make someone else happy it will not turn out well.

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                  • #10
                    Do you really want to take on this burden? Are you doing this for the girl or for you?

                    If you were to move I would secure a job before moving.

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                    • #11
                      How long have you been with the lady? I don't like the part about her not working...without knowing the whole story, it sounds like you might be being taken advantage of.

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                      • #12
                        I moved to Texas only knowing my first wife, her family was here, mine in Colorado. I've lived here since 1985 now!

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                        • #13
                          are the "issues" with your family related to her in anyway?

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                          • #14
                            Don't leave your current job without having something solid lined up first.

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                            • #15
                              I think you'd be a fool to move to SC. It's a dump. Every last part of it. Look at other places. You are the "bread winner". She can be a server anywhere. Literally. Your ability to generate income is of greater importance. Look at Denver. Higher cost of living, but you'll earn more wealth, her kid will get a better education, you'll have more options as far as job opportunities. Most importantly you don't have to make it happen today. It'll take time to fund the right opportunity no matter where you go.

                              People that jump in head first usually don't have a bucket to piss in nor a window to throw it out of.

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