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[SonOfLe-loLang]

Alice,
I heard that anal sex causes the rectum/anus to become larger and creates problems with going to the bathroom. Can you please tell me what the risks are when it comes to anal sex beyond the normal STI/STD and pregnancy risk? Are there any risks involved with anal sex that are not involved with oral or vaginal? Thanks in advance.

—Anal Wonders

Dear Anal Wonders,

Anal sex enthusiasts can relax (a good thing to do during anal sex!), because contrary to what you heard, anal sex does not loosen the anus or cause an inability to control bowel movements. However, there can be risks associated with anal sex other than sexually transmitted infections (STIs), so it's important to take steps to minimize these risks.

Friction, the enemy of pleasure and safety during sex, is produced during anal sex, much as it is during vaginal sex. However, friction may be more of an issue during anal sex because the lining of the anus is more delicate and produces less natural lubricant than the vagina.

Steps to safer anal sex include:

Being very gentle and moving slowly
Using plenty of lubricants (not just saliva)
Using a condom
Avoiding spermicide, which may irritate the rectum
Never moving from anal to vaginal sex without first changing condoms
Stopping if there is severe pain during penetration
Anal sex may make a person more susceptible to bacterial infection around the anus and rectum. This is because the lining of the rectum is not as heavy as the lining of the vagina, so it is more susceptible to tears. If the anus or rectum does get torn, it does not heal as quickly. Because feces that pass through the rectum contain bacteria, any tear in the lining is at risk of getting infected. Lining tears may lead to other problems such as an anal abscess, which

[SonOfLe-loLang]

..Alice,
I heard that anal sex causes the rectum/anus to become larger and creates problems with going to the bathroom. Can you please tell me what the risks are when it comes to anal sex beyond the normal STI/STD and pregnancy risk? Are there any risks involved with anal sex that are not involved with oral or vaginal? Thanks in advance.

—Anal Wonders

Dear Anal Wonders,

Anal sex enthusiasts can relax (a good thing to do during anal sex!), because contrary to what you heard, anal sex does not loosen the anus or cause an inability to control bowel movements. However, there can be risks associated with anal sex other than sexually transmitted infections (STIs), so it's important to take steps to minimize these risks.

Friction, the enemy of pleasure and safety during sex, is produced during anal sex, much as it is during vaginal sex. However, friction may be more of an issue during anal sex because the lining of the anus is more delicate and produces less natural lubricant than the vagina.

Steps to safer anal sex include:

Being very gentle and moving slowly
Using plenty of lubricants (not just saliva)
Using a condom
Avoiding spermicide, which may irritate the rectum
Never moving from anal to vaginal sex without first changing condoms
Stopping if there is severe pain during penetration
Anal sex may make a person more susceptible to bacterial infection around the anus and rectum. This is because the lining of the rectum is not as heavy as the lining of the vagina, so it is more susceptible to tears. If the anus or rectum does get torn, it does not heal as quickly. Because feces that pass through the rectum contain bacteria, any tear in the lining is at risk of getting infected. Lining tears may lead to other problems such as an anal abscess, which

[SonOfLe-loLang]

What a horrible experience! From that day forward i kept my clothes on at all times unless I was ABSOLUTELY SURE we were alone!

[Houshyamama]

[UberBroncoMan]

"Harry had never believed he would meet a boy he hated more than Dudley, but that was before he met Draco Malfoy. Still, first-year Gryffindors only had Potions with the Slytherins, so they didn't have to put up with Malfoy much. Or at least, they didn't until they spotted a notice pinned up in the Gryffindor common room that made them all groan. Flying lessons would be starting on Thursday- and Gryffindor and Slytherin would be learning together.
"Typical," said Harry darkly. "Just what I always wanted. To make a fool of myself on a broomstick in front of Malfoy."
He had been looking forward to learning to fly more than anything else.
"You don't know that you'll make a fool of yourself," said Ron reasonably. "Anyway, I know Malfoy's always going on about how good he is at Quidditch, but I bet that's all talk."
Malfoy certainly did talk about flying a lot. He complained loudly about first years never getting on the house Quidditch teams and told long, boastful stories that always seemed to end with him narrowly escaping Muggles in helicopters. He wasn't the only one, though: the way Seamus Finnigan told it, he'd spent most of his childhood zooming around the countryside on his broomstick. Even Ron would tell anyone who'd listen about the time he'd almost hit a hang glider on Charile's old broom. Everyone from wizarding families talked about Quidditch constantly. Ron had already had a big argument with Dean Thomas, who shared their dormitory, about soccer. Ron couldn't see what was exciting about a game with only one ball where no one was allowed to fly. Harry had caught Ron prodding Dean's poster of West Ham soccer team, trying to make the players move.
Neville had never been on a broomstick in his life, because his grandmother had never let him near one. Privately, Harry felt she'd had good reason, because Neville managed to have an extraordinary number of accidents even with both feet on the ground.
Hermione Granger was almost as nervous about flying as Neville was. This was something you couldn't learn by heart out of a book- not that she hadn't tried. At breakfast on Thursday she bored them all stupid with flying tips she'd gotten out of a library book called Quidditch Through the Ages. Neville has hanging on to her every word, desperate for anything that might help him hang on to his broomstick later, but everybody else was very pleased when Hermione's lecture was interrupted by the arrival of the mail.
(Rowling, pp 143-144)

At three-thirty that afternoon, Harry, Ron, and the other Gryffindors hurried down the front steps onto the grounds for their first flying lesson. It was a clear, breezy day, and the grass rippled under their feet as they marched down the sloping lawns toward a smooth, flat lawn on teh opposite side of the grounds to the forbidden forest, whose trees were swaying darkly in the distance.
The Slytherins were already there, and so were twenty broomsticks lying in neat lines on the ground. Harry had heard Fred and George Weasley complain about the school brooms, saying that some of them started to vibrate if you flew too high, or always flew slightly to the left.
Their teacher, Madam Hooch, arrived. She had short, gray hair, and yellow eyes like a hawk.
"Well, what are you all waiting for?" she barked. "Everyone stand by a broomstick. Come on, hurry up."
Harry glanced down at his broom. It was old and some of the twigs stuck out at odd angles.
"Stick out your right hand over your broom," called Madam Hooch at the front, "and say 'UP!'"
"UP!" everyone shouted.
Harry's broom jumped into his hand at once, but it was one of the few that did. Hermione Granger's had simply rolled over on the ground, and Neville's hadn't moved at all. Perhaps brooms, like horses, could tell when you were afraid, thought Harry; there was a quaver in Neville's voice that said only too clearly that he wanted to keep his feet on the ground.
Madam Hooch then showed them how to mount their brooms without sliding off the end, and walked up and down the rows correcting their grips. Harry and Ron were delighted when she told Malfoy he'd been doing it wrong for years.
"Now, when I blow my whistle, you kick off from the ground, hard," said Madam Hooch. "Keep your brooms steady, rise a few feet, and then come straight back down by leaning forward slightly. On my whistle- three- two-"
But Neville, nervous and jumpy and frightened of being left on the ground, pushed off hard before the whistle had touched Madam Hooch's lips.
"Come back, boy!" she shouted, but Neville was rising straight up like a cork shot out of a bottle- twelve feet- twenty feet. Harry saw his scared white face look down at the ground falling away, saw him gasp, slip sideways off the broom and-
WHAM- a thud and a nasty crack and Neville lay facedown on the grass in a heap. His broomstick was still rising higher and higher, and started to drift lazily toward the forbidden forest and out of sight.
Madam Hooch was bending over Neville, her face as white as his.
"Broken wrist," Harry heard her mutter. "Come on, boy- it's all right, up you get."
She turned to the rest of the class.
"None of you is to move while I take this boy to the hospital wing! You leave those brooms where they are or you'll be out of Hogwarts before you can say 'Quidditch.' Come on, dear."
Neville, his face tear-streaked, clutching his wrist, hobbled off with Madam Hooch, who had her arm around him.
No sooner were they out of earshot than Malfoy burst into laughter.
"Did you see his face, the great lump?"
The other Slytherins joined in.
"Shut up, Malfoy," snapped Parvati Patil.
"Ooh, sticking up for Longbottom?" said Pansy Parkinson, a hard-faced Slytherin girl. "Never thought you'd like fat little crybabies, Parvati."
"Look!" said Malfoy, darting forward and snatching something out of the grass. "It's that stupid thing Longbottom's gran sent him."
The Remembrall glittered in the sun as he held it up.
"Give that her, Malfoy," said Harry quietly. Everyone stopped talking to watch.
Malfoy smiled nastily.
"I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find- how about- up a tree?"
"Give it here!" Harry yelled, but Malfoy had leapt onto his broomstick and taken off. He hadn't been lying, he could fly well. Hovering level with the topmost branches of an oak he called, "Come and get it, Potter! "
Harry grabbed is broom.
"No!" shouted Hermione Granger. "Madam Hooch told us not to move- you'll get us all into trouble."
Harry ignored her. Blood was pounding in his ears. He mounted the broom and kicked hard against the ground and up, up he soared; air rushed through his hair, and his robes whipped out behind him- and in a rush of fierce joy he'd found something he could do without being taught- this wa easy, this was wonderful. He pulled his broomstick up a little to take it even higher, and heard screams and gasps of girls back on the ground and an admiring whoop from Ron.
He turned his broomstick sharply to face Malfoy in midair. Malfoy looked stunned.
"Give it here," Harry called, "or I'll knock you off that broom!"
"Oh, yeah?" said Malfoy, trying to sneer, but looking worried.
Harry knew, somehow, what to do. He lean forward and grasped the broom tightly in both hands, and it shot toward Malfoy like a javelin. Malfoy only just got out of the way in time; Harry made a sharp about-face and held the broom steady. A few people below were clapping.
"No Crabbe and Goyle up here to save your neck, Malfoy," Harry called.
The same thought seemed to have struck Malfoy.
"Catch it if you can, then!" he shouted, and he threw the glass ball high into the air and streaked back toward the ground.
Harry saw, as though in slow motion, the ball rise up in the air and then start to fall. He leaned forward and pointed his broom handle down- next second he was gathering speed in a steep dive, racing the ball- wind whistled in his ears, mingled with the screams of people watching- he stretched out his hand- a foot from the ground he caught it, just in time to pull his broom straight, and he toppled gently onto the grass with the Remembrall clutched safely in his fist.
"HARRY POTTER!"
His heart sank faster than he'd just dived. Professor McGonagall was running toward them. He got to his feet, trembling.
"Never- in all my time at Hogwarts-"
Professor McGonagall was almost speechless with shock, and her glasses flashed furiously, "-how dare you- might have broken your neck-"
"It wasn't his fault, Professor-"
"Be quiet, Miss Patil-"
"But Malfoy-"
"That's enough, Mr. Weasley. Potter, follow me, now."
(Rowling, pp 145-149)
"Potter, this is Oliver Wood. Wood- I've found you a Seeker."
Wood's expression changed from puzzlement to delight.
"Are you serious, Professor?"
"Absolutely," said Professor McGonagall crisply. "The boy's a natural. I've never seen anything like it. Was that your first time on a broomstick, Potter?"
Harry nodded silently. He didn't have a clue what was going on, but he didn't seem to be being expelled, and some of the feeling started coming back to his legs.
"He caught that thing in his hand after a fifty-foot dive," Professor McGonagall told Wood. "Didn't even scratch himself. Charlie Weasley couldn't have done it."

[SonOfLe-loLang]

Your Worst Diarrhea Story ever...?
Joe Bob Charlie, Joe Bob Chopper asked 8 years ago
Here is my two best, try to out do me...

TWO GOOD STORIES THAT HAPPENED TO ME

Kern Country Golf Course (dont remember the name) (Outside Bakersfield, CA)

I was on the way to go golfing and we stopped at this gas station. I ate two large hotdogs really greasy, some twinkies, and one of those Huge Gulps like 64 oz drink..

Fast forward 40 minutes

we are at the golf course and on the driving range, we were 100 meters from the golf club (and toilets).

I was swinging away when i felt real bad. I ran to the bathroom but didnt make it, i was wearing tighty whities thank god! so its sort of caught in there, but I could smell it, and if I could smell so could others...
Additional Details
I went in the bathroom and took off my pants and threw away my underwear. Cleaned as best I could then left. I told my friend that I was done golfing and needed to go home. I told him I felt sick, so we left. On the way back we had the windows rolled down, and it stunk too. (I could feel my pants were still wet a little, not with water either.) so we made it home and I changed.

The worst part is I left my wallet in the bathroom and had to go back the next weekend...

Story two

Hooters - Pensacola Florida Dec 1999.

The guys and I went to the Hooters (downtown Pensacola location) and took advantage of the chicken wings. I ate about 30 I think really hot ones. Then we were going to play pool or something. So we are driving (4 of us) and I was in the backseat all of a sudden it felt like my stomach just dropped out!

....
8 years ago
I said pull over guys and they did. We just happened to be at a TV station. So i ran around back through the gate, but as I was running up to the gate I farted and then felt a lot of mush... I started walking and feeling gross, (but my stomach felt better imagine that). I walked up and im looking then this guy asks if he can help me, i said "where is the bathroom?" He gave me this sad/disgusted face and pointed it out. I went in locked the door and cleaned up. I threw away my underwear (this time boxers) and my socks. This took about 1 hour. Then I went outside to see that my friends were not there, I was relieved. So I went down the street pretty fast (i didnt want them cicling the block and looking for me) I went to a strip club and called a taxi, then waiting inside so they wouldnt happen to see me. It took like 2 minutes. I caught the taxi home, put my clothes in the washer, and took a shower. I heard a knock like 20 minutes later it was my friends. I asked "why did you ditch me?"
8 years ago

[Houshyamama]