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Old 02-03-2011, 06:06 AM   #1
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So my seven year old was selected from her first grade class to undergo gifted testing with the school psychologist.

Today we met with the school psychologist, her teacher and the gifted program teacher to talk about the results. She scored a 136 and easily surpassed the intelligence and behavioral requirements.

Blah, blah, I know "no one cares". Just very proud, at the moment.
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Old 02-03-2011, 06:15 AM   #2
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Congrats, but be careful with that crap.
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Old 02-03-2011, 06:25 AM   #3
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Congrats, but be careful with that crap.
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Old 02-03-2011, 06:39 AM   #4
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So the kid takes after her mother? Congrats!
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Old 02-03-2011, 06:48 AM   #5
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So my seven year old was selected from her first grade class to undergo gifted testing with the school psychologist.

Today we met with the school psychologist, her teacher and the gifted program teacher to talk about the results. She scored a 136 and easily surpassed the intelligence and behavioral requirements.

Blah, blah, I know "no one cares". Just very proud, at the moment.
God, I have no class...

Instead of saying 'congrats" or something of that nature my first thought was, "That's great. I love having intellectual conversations with strippers."

Congrats tho
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Old 02-03-2011, 06:52 AM   #6
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I'm not disparaging you or your child at all. I'm just saying that labeling kids in any manner can be a slippery slope. Even if it's something positive like this.

I have a friend who teaches "gifted" kids at a charter school here in Boston, and he says that his kids are often stress cases at 12 years old because of the expectations heaped on them by their parents.

It's great that your daughter has brains, but just be careful about making her live up to a label. That's all I was saying. My friend says that parents hear "gifted" and they lose all perspective.
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Old 02-03-2011, 06:58 AM   #7
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So the kid takes after her mother? Congrats!
Something like that. Side story: During the meeting her mom said, "She gets it from her dad. I'm just cute." Which was kinda funny.
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Old 02-03-2011, 07:01 AM   #8
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I'm not disparaging you or your child at all. I'm just saying that labeling kids in any manner can be a slippery slope. Even if it's something positive like this.

I have a friend who teaches "gifted" kids at a charter school here in Boston, and he says that his kids are often stress cases at 12 years old because of the expectations heaped on them by their parents.

It's great that your daughter has brains, but just be careful about making her live up to a label. That's all I was saying. My friend says that parents hear "gifted" and they lose all perspective.
Ohhhhhhhhhhh gotcha. I completely agree.

I went through a similar thing when I was a kid in NY, and the expectations of having to exceed the work of every one else grew extremely frustrating to the point of flat out rebellion by 8th/9th grade.

Repeating the same mistakes with her was absolutely my primary concern. However, in this situation, she spends a day a week outside of her class working on advanced material in a very individualized setting.
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Old 02-03-2011, 07:01 AM   #9
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God, I have no class...

Instead of saying 'congrats" or something of that nature my first thought was, "That's great. I love having intellectual conversations with strippers."

Congrats tho
Bold is extremely true.
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Old 02-03-2011, 07:04 AM   #10
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Bold is extremely true.
the first step to rehabilitation is admitting you have a problem


true story: i was labeled as "gifted" in elementary school and actually skipped a great. But I didnt stop ****ting my pants until I was twelve
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Old 02-03-2011, 07:17 AM   #11
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Just be proud your kid isn't on ritalin. A much bigger accomplishment these days.
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Old 02-03-2011, 07:34 AM   #12
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Something like that. Side story: During the meeting her mom said, "She gets it from her dad. I'm just cute." Which was kinda funny.
ha ha...smart people are ugly


anyway, congrats on the news

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Old 02-03-2011, 07:35 AM   #13
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Congrats. Do not turn into tiger parents. That's all I'll say. Socialisation is the key to real (non-academic) success as an adult.

Just some friendly advice!
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Old 02-03-2011, 07:45 AM   #14
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Rev-

It seems as if you have a good handle on your daughter's situation. Best two points IMHO are listed below- one is by you. Good luck and most importantly give your daughter opportunities to be a well balanced adult....

Socialisation is the key to real (non-academic) success as an adult.

the expectations of having to exceed the work of every one else grew extremely frustrating to the point of flat out rebellion by 8th/9th grade.
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Old 02-03-2011, 07:54 AM   #15
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Rev-

It seems as if you have a good handle on your daughter's situation. Best two points IMHO are listed below- one is by you. Good luck and most importantly give your daughter opportunities to be a well balanced adult....

Socialisation is the key to real (non-academic) success as an adult.

the expectations of having to exceed the work of every one else grew extremely frustrating to the point of flat out rebellion by 8th/9th grade.
I'm not extremely concerned with "success as an adult". Not nearly as concerned as I am just with general happiness. She'll be a trust fund kid, so conventional interpretations of "success" are pretty much a foregone conclusion.

Now naturally, I want her to be a productive member of society in spite of this, but I think it provides an unique opportunity to actually do what she wants to do and not by a monetary reward.

Super cute kiddo too, here's us at my best friends wedding this past summer:

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Old 02-03-2011, 08:35 AM   #16
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Congrats. Do not turn into tiger parents. That's all I'll say. Socialisation is the key to real (non-academic) success as an adult.

Just some friendly advice!
I grew up with "tiger parents" and I feel like I'm doing fine. Amy Chua's article in the WSJ matches my upbringing. The disparaging comments, the unrelenting discipline, the extreme push for good grades.

Tiger parenting is not a bad style of parenting. I was pushed to practice the piano for 3 hours a day through elementary school almost through high school which led to daily fights. My parents constantly berated me for being "fat" even though I was maybe 5 pounds overweight. I socialized very little until I got to college, and although there were some growing pains, I managed to trick my wife into marrying me and managed to bribe some other people into becoming good friends. I am incredibly loyal to my parents and think the world of them regardless of our fierce battles.

I'm very driven and disciplined, and I attribute that to my piano practicing and my parents constantly bothering me on my homework, giving me extra homework etc. I believe that high expectations are important. While I'm not a superstar by anymeans, I'm self sufficient and have a career path. Without my parents pushing me, I don't think I would of had that, given my propensity for laziness without a routine or structure.

Now, other styles of parenting I'm sure could result in a similar story, many of my more successful friends grew up that way. On the flip side, my sister is a different story. She has been unemployed for 24 months and has a much more murky future.

To summarize, tiger parenting and setting very high expectations is a feasible option and worked well for me, I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

BTW, you should be proud of your kid! She sounds super smart and is adorable.

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Old 02-03-2011, 08:36 AM   #17
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That's cute and good for her. That's a great opportunity and she will be better for it.

I think the "careful" comments come from going overkill. There is some danger in being ostracized and away from your friends. I was in a few gifted programs throughout school and did a lot of extracurricular activities like Odyssey of the mind and some special science classes. I endured a bit of scorn for being a nerd and missed not hanging with my friends as much. Looking back I would say I would have liked to have 30% of that time back doing more normal stuff. Just my thoughts.
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Old 02-03-2011, 08:39 AM   #18
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Now, other styles of parenting I'm sure could result in a similar story, many of my more successful friends grew up that way. On the flip side, my sister is a different story. She has been unemployed for 24 months and has a much more murky future.

To summarize, tiger parenting and setting very high expectations is a feasible option and worked well for me, I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

BTW, you should be proud of your kid! She sounds super smart and is adorable.
Being unemployed these days isn't anything to be frowned upon....job market sucks and you really need to fall into something at the right time
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Old 02-03-2011, 08:46 AM   #19
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Being unemployed these days isn't anything to be frowned upon....job market sucks and you really need to fall into something at the right time
I definitely agree, it is really difficult for everyone. The issue is that she really isn't trying to find a job, she's not motivated and is just living off the parents, that is all. My parents don't know what to do. Cut her off completely? That could end up badly. Keep supporting her? Then maybe she'll become dependent and never find a job.
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Old 02-03-2011, 08:47 AM   #20
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Congrats Rev. She has a great gift, just make sure it is a gift and not a curse!

Pm Me and we will talk.
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Old 02-03-2011, 08:49 AM   #21
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Congrats Rev. She has a great gift, just make sure it is a gift and not a curse!

Pm Me and we will talk.
Will do soon. We have lots of catching up to do anyways.
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Old 02-03-2011, 08:50 AM   #22
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I definitely agree, it is really difficult for everyone. The issue is that she really isn't trying to find a job, she's not motivated and is just living off the parents, that is all. My parents don't know what to do. Cut her off completely? That could end up badly. Keep supporting her? Then maybe she'll become dependent and never find a job.
Her parents need to set boundaries and make her make real world choices is the ONLY thing that will get her moving. Right now, she is simply returning the favor to her parents of her childhood. What works for one child, rarely works for the other despite the similar environment.
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Old 02-03-2011, 08:53 AM   #23
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I definitely agree, it is really difficult for everyone. The issue is that she really isn't trying to find a job, she's not motivated and is just living off the parents, that is all. My parents don't know what to do. Cut her off completely? That could end up badly. Keep supporting her? Then maybe she'll become dependent and never find a job.
Yea, thats a tricky situation. I was let go from a really good job two months after a promotion into another department (I think they moved my salary for company reasons). I was unemployed for 9 months but my parents didnt let me move home, so I lived in a crap apartment and couldnt do **** for fun. THAT was motivation.

Ended up with a job paying the same that actually had better benefits, etc...

It took me 9 months of really searching hard and it felt like a job. I couldnt believe that with a good number of years of experience and an MBA that I was at one point applying at Foot Locker and whatnot (not that there is anything wrong with those jobs)....and they wouldnt hire

you're right though, there needs to be motivation there

sorry to get this off topic
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Old 02-03-2011, 10:13 AM   #24
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Congratulations. I was gifted too. Durrr.
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Old 02-03-2011, 11:02 AM   #25
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That's cute and good for her. That's a great opportunity and she will be better for it.

I think the "careful" comments come from going overkill. There is some danger in being ostracized and away from your friends. I was in a few gifted programs throughout school and did a lot of extracurricular activities like Odyssey of the mind and some special science classes. I endured a bit of scorn for being a nerd and missed not hanging with my friends as much. Looking back I would say I would have liked to have 30% of that time back doing more normal stuff. Just my thoughts.
Nerd!



Sorry, I'm trying to be a reformed Odyssey/Computer Club/Math Competition kid myself. Most of my friends were also nerds also, so that was okay. Going to a college with students with much lower social skills then my own did wonders for me, though. All the sudden I was a popular kid. I can almost pass for normal, now.
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