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Old 10-19-2010, 08:40 AM   #1
Taco John
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Default We missed the boat (Deion Branch Poetry)

We didn't have any Jay Cutler or Hillis poetry around this place. I feel like we really could have had something special, but NOOOOOOOOO.

http://www.mynorthwest.com/category/...ller-in-tears/


But it's not too late. Click the link, and listen to the prose, and take a second to compose, your own poem to our ex-pros...
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Old 10-19-2010, 08:51 AM   #2
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Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Jay Cutler sucks,
and Hillis does too.
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Old 10-19-2010, 08:57 AM   #3
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roses are red
toilets are white
hillis is tough
but hes not to bright
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Old 10-19-2010, 08:57 AM   #4
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I feel sorry for that guys kid.
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Old 10-19-2010, 09:18 AM   #5
TheElusiveKyleOrton
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There once was a man from Nantucket
rooted for a QB who said "**** it"
Now something is wrong
Jay Cutler sucks dong
One pick's just a drop in the bucket.
__________________
Nobody puts Jay-bee in the corner.
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Old 10-19-2010, 09:23 AM   #6
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There once was a Qb named Cutler
At the drop of a hat he became butthurt
He exclaimed with a frown
While throwing chugging beer down
I blame all my problems on others.
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Old 10-19-2010, 09:37 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bowtown View Post
There once was a Qb named Cutler
At the drop of a hat he became butthurt
He exclaimed with a frown
While throwing chugging beer down
I blame all my problems on others.
?
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Old 10-19-2010, 09:38 AM   #8
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Marshall Haiku

Touchdown Catch by Lloyd
Tell me how my a$$ tastes
Lloyd one ups Marshall
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Old 10-19-2010, 09:40 AM   #9
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There once was a douche with 'da beetus
Who got concussed and curled up like a fetus.
And he said with a frown
My career's going down
And jhns won't let go of my penis.
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Old 10-19-2010, 09:54 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 55CrushEm View Post
There once was a douche with 'da beetus
Who got concussed and curled up like a fetus.
And he said with a frown
My career's going down
And jhns won't let go of my penis.
So much win.
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Old 10-19-2010, 10:09 AM   #11
McDman
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Haiku

Andre brown is gone
Tsiguy weeps every night
may try to kill self
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Old 10-19-2010, 10:15 AM   #12
55CrushEm
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We once had a guy named T. Henry
Who had lots of kids...at least twenty.
It was such a damn shame,
He banged so many dames
He now has no dough...not a penny.
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Old 10-19-2010, 10:15 AM   #13
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Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Hillis -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Hillis -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Hillis!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Hillis!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Cutler of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Elway just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient Cutler wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the Cutler, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the Cutler, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the Cutler still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the Cutler, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the Cutler, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the Cutler, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the Cutler, `Nevermore.'

And the Cutler, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Elway just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore


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Old 10-19-2010, 10:17 AM   #14
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McD didn't start the Hillis

His leggs were always Churning

but Popps says he wasn't learning

We didn't start the Hillis

No we didn't keep him

Now our game is bleep'n ***** ***
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Old 10-19-2010, 10:21 AM   #15
55CrushEm
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We drafted a guy named Alphonso
Which half the fans thought really did blow.
Now he's gettin' the picks
God damn that little prick
Why couldn't he do that here, though?
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Old 10-19-2010, 10:48 AM   #16
Rock Chalk
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Cutler was Taco's hero
But Taco's football knowledge is zero
Hillis was a stud
but his brain was a dud
now injured and eating a gyro
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Old 10-19-2010, 11:31 AM   #17
55CrushEm
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How could we forget the Duke?
As he made opposing defenses puke
Now he's moved on in age
Getting honkers from Paige
Glad his big teeth didn't give her a spook.
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Old 10-19-2010, 11:43 AM   #18
epicSocialism4tw
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There once was a Bronco named Hillis,
The true unicorn became mythic,
McD came to stay,
'twas traded away,
Now the run game is pathetic!

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Old 10-19-2010, 12:52 PM   #19
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two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
and be one Super bowl winner, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where Hillis tramples the undergrowth

then took the other quarterback as just as fair
and having perhaps the better claim (though not as mobile)
because it chugged JD and wanted wear
Though as for those internet pictures passing there
had worn them equally as gay

and both coaches that morning equally lay
In 8-8 seasons trodden black
Oh, had Bowlen kept mCd for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads onto way
I doubt Shanny will ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
somewhere ages and ages hence
To roads diverged at Mile High
Bowlen took the one less traveled by
and that is why we are only ****ing 2-4
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Old 10-19-2010, 12:54 PM   #20
epicSocialism4tw
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Quote:
Originally Posted by broncosteven View Post
two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
and be one Super bowl winner, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where Hillis tramples the undergrowth

then took the other quarterback as just as fair
and having perhaps the better claim (though not as mobile)
because it chugged JD and wanted wear
Though as for those internet pictures passing there
had worn them equally as gay

and both coaches that morning equally lay
In 8-8 seasons trodden black
Oh, had Bowlen kept mCd for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads onto way
I doubt Shanny will ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
somewhere ages and ages hence
To roads diverged at Mile High
Bowlen took the one less traveled by
and that is why we are only ****ing 2-4
Gotta break out the Robert Frost! Rep!
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Old 10-19-2010, 03:18 PM   #21
Que
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McDman444 View Post
Haiku

Andre brown is gone
Tsiguy weeps every night
may try to kill self
check out the double meaning of the word "may" in the third line. Very nice inclusion of a "seasonal" phrase or word. Haiku rep mother****er!
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Old 10-19-2010, 03:20 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 55CrushEm View Post
There once was a douche with 'da beetus
Who got concussed and curled up like a fetus.
And he said with a frown
My career's going down
And jhns won't let go of my penis.
I had to quote this again for those who read past it.
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Old 10-19-2010, 03:39 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 55CrushEm View Post
There once was a douche with 'da beetus
Who got concussed and curled up like a fetus.
And he said with a frown
My career's going down
And jhns won't let go of my penis.
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Old 10-19-2010, 03:40 PM   #24
Sassy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by broncosteven View Post
two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
and be one Super bowl winner, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where Hillis tramples the undergrowth

then took the other quarterback as just as fair
and having perhaps the better claim (though not as mobile)
because it chugged JD and wanted wear
Though as for those internet pictures passing there
had worn them equally as gay

and both coaches that morning equally lay
In 8-8 seasons trodden black
Oh, had Bowlen kept mCd for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads onto way
I doubt Shanny will ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
somewhere ages and ages hence
To roads diverged at Mile High
Bowlen took the one less traveled by
and that is why we are only ****ing 2-4
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Old 10-19-2010, 03:42 PM   #25
Sassy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boogerboots View Post
Marshall Haiku

Touchdown Catch by Lloyd
Tell me how my a$$ tastes
Lloyd one ups Marshall
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