Crrrazy Josh McDaniels - The Orange Mane

WABronco · 10-14-2010, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Josh McDaniels: Okay, guys! We’ve got the Jets this week, and I have a gameplan that can’t possibly fail. All I need is the exact right blend of gritty, no-name players to pull it off, which is why I’m going to have to cut twenty-six of you today. There are some 5’9” guys coming in who used to load bags over at DIA, and I really like their hustle. REAL TEAM GUYS. The kind of guys I can count on to execute the vision I have inside my very small head.

(door flies open)

Kyle Orton: (burp) Heyyyyyyy Coach McDanyulzzzz, freakin’ LLOYD man! LLOYD ALL THE WAY! I dunno if we’re winnin’ games er not, but I am gettin’ LAID! ROCKY MOUNTAIN THIGH, COACH!

Josh McDaniels: Someone put Orton back in the drunk tank until gametime, dammit!

(Orton placed back in drunk tank)

Josh McDaniels: No one is to open that drunk tank without my expressed written consent. OR I WILL CUT YOU. Now, for the Jets. I understand this Rex Ryan fellow likes to blitz.

Champ Bailey: Yes, sir.

Josh McDaniels: I’m sorry. I can’t hear players who ask for more money than I have slotted for their position. Now, I have the perfect plan to make sure those blitzes don’t hurt us. One: LEG WHIPS. EACH ONE WHIPPIER THAN THE LAST. Two: Concealed wooden stakes.

They come running in too fast? BOOM! Instant FIRST BLOOD.

Champ Bailey: Isn’t that wildly illegal? Even jailable?

Josh McDaniels: Since when have the Broncos stopped doing something because it was illegal? ALEX GIBBS WOULD SPIT ON YOU IF HE WERE STILL ALIVE, WHICH I DEEM HIM TO NOT BE. This is why I can’t have players like you on my team, Bailey. You won’t do what it takes to win. You lack Welkeritude.

(FedEx package arrives)

Josh McDaniels: Hmm. That’s odd. I don’t remember ordering anything on Amazon, except for that Sun Tsu audiobook I planned on listening to during my two hours of sleep every Tuesday night.

(opens up package)

(package contains several pictures of a men’s penises)

Josh McDaniels: OH FOR CRYING IN THE BEER! WHO’S SENDING ME PENIS SHOTS, DAMMIT?

Read the rest at:

http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/...tml#more-30576

RhymesayersDU · 10-14-2010, 04:47 PM

LOVE this.

broncosteven · 10-14-2010, 05:00 PM

Josh McDaniels: Hmm. That’s odd. I don’t remember ordering anything on Amazon, except for that Sun Tsu audiobook I planned on listening to during my two hours of sleep every Tuesday night.

serious hops · 10-14-2010, 05:14 PM

Josh McDaniels: Please refer all media inquiries to our Ministry of Silence, madam.

bowtown · 10-14-2010, 05:16 PM

I love KSK.

DarkHorse30 · 10-14-2010, 05:59 PM

meh.....jets love is so old and over done, but what else are the easterlies going to do? Meanwhile, it's always new and different to DUMP on Denver's favorite punching bag. Poop on Ryan and his still fat ass.

bowtown · 10-14-2010, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkHorse30

meh.....jets love is so old and over done, but what else are the easterlies going to do? Meanwhile, it's always new and different to DUMP on Denver's favorite punching bag. Poop on Ryan and his still fat ass.

Meh, not really dumping on Denver. Mostly just making fun of Rex Ryan and the Jets. These guys are usually pretty kind to Denver.

LRtagger · 10-14-2010, 07:11 PM

Quote:

ryan: nacho, your new nickname is el minero. I like that your people worked so hard to get out of that mine shaft. How much p***Ymining do you think those boys did when they got out?! I bet a lot!

roflllllllllll

DarkHorse30 · 10-14-2010, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bowtown

Meh, not really dumping on Denver. Mostly just making fun of Rex Ryan and the Jets. These guys are usually pretty kind to Denver.

I see jets and their coach making fun of Denver. Old and overdone....just sayin'

Dudeskey · 10-14-2010, 08:07 PM

"Men, we are building something with this team. My thick, cocky, unicorn horn-like stool tells me so"

Dagmar · 10-14-2010, 08:16 PM

WABronco · 10-14-2010, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkHorse30

I see jets and their coach making fun of Denver. Old and overdone....just sayin'

Satire.

TheReverend · 10-14-2010, 09:20 PM

Fantastic. I loved how they portrayed Rex and Josh.

Dr.5280 · 10-14-2010, 09:22 PM

We might win. More likely we don't. However WABRONCO will remain a total loser forever.

SoCalBronco · 10-14-2010, 09:39 PM

Rocky Mountain thigh....lmao.

Broncobiv · 10-14-2010, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr.5280

We might win. More likely we don't. However WABRONCO will remain a total loser forever.

Why...because he posted a link to an incredibly funny creative piece? You know, something meant to put a smile on your face? Something that is clearly there for fun, and not meant to be taken as a serious jab at anyone's team?

You mean that WABronco? Um...sorry "Doctor", but you're the one coming across as a total loser.

strafen · 10-14-2010, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr.5280

We might win. More likely we don't. However WABRONCO will remain a total loser forever.

WAbronco is a homer, dude!

broncocalijohn · 10-14-2010, 11:28 PM

didnt get it and didnt think i wanted to waste anymore time by clicking the link. You boys seem to think it was hysterical so to each their own.

WABronco · 10-14-2010, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr.5280

We might win. More likely we don't. However WABRONCO will remain a total loser forever.

serious hops · 10-15-2010, 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr.5280

We might win. More likely we don't. However WABRONCO will remain a total loser forever.

Oh, the irony. It burns!

oubronco · 10-15-2010, 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WABronco

It's GOOD!!!!

bronco militia · 10-15-2010, 06:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by broncocalijohn

didnt get it and didnt think i wanted to waste anymore time by clicking the link. You boys seem to think it was hysterical so to each their own.

these guys run the king neckbeard twitter site

10-14-2010, 09:39 PM	#15
SoCalBronco Nixonite Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Arcadia, CA Posts: 33,315 Adopt-a-Bronco: D.J. Williams	Rocky Mountain thigh....lmao. __________________ ITS A PLAYOFF HOCKEY NIGHT IN PITTSBURGH!

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10-14-2010, 04:47 PM	#2
RhymesayersDU Go Broncos, Nuggets, Rox GANGNAM STYLE Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Back In The 303! Posts: 14,813 Adopt-a-Bronco: Ty Lawson	LOVE this.

10-14-2010, 05:00 PM	#3
broncosteven The Kranz Dictum MWA: Flight Director Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Tranquility Base Posts: 29,058 Adopt-a-Bronco: MONEYBALL #38	Josh McDaniels: Hmm. That’s odd. I don’t remember ordering anything on Amazon, except for that Sun Tsu audiobook I planned on listening to during my two hours of sleep every Tuesday night.

10-14-2010, 05:14 PM	#4
serious hops Developmental poster New to the Forum Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: 303 Posts: 588 Adopt-a-Bronco: Chris Kuper	Josh McDaniels: Please refer all media inquiries to our Ministry of Silence, madam.

10-14-2010, 05:16 PM	#5
bowtown Ring of Famer Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 8,277 Adopt-a-Bronco: Aaron Brewer	I love KSK.

10-14-2010, 05:59 PM	#6
DarkHorse30 Smith Rules Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 2,091 Adopt-a-Bronco: wolf pot roast	meh.....jets love is so old and over done, but what else are the easterlies going to do? Meanwhile, it's always new and different to DUMP on Denver's favorite punching bag. Poop on Ryan and his still fat ass.

10-14-2010, 08:07 PM	#10
Dudeskey Ring of Famer This space for rent Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Colorado Springs, CO Posts: 4,314	"Men, we are building something with this team. My thick, cocky, unicorn horn-like stool tells me so"

10-14-2010, 08:16 PM	#11
Dagmar ...there ain't no devil ..there's just God when he's drunk. Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Morrison Posts: 17,132 Adopt-a-Bronco: Tim Tebow

10-14-2010, 09:20 PM	#13
TheReverend www.PatrickTurley.org ^ buy this... twice Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Jacksonville, FL Posts: 33,020 Adopt-a-Bronco: Mike Shanahan	Fantastic. I loved how they portrayed Rex and Josh.

10-14-2010, 09:22 PM	#14
Dr.5280 Seasoned Veteran Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 347	We might win. More likely we don't. However WABRONCO will remain a total loser forever.

10-14-2010, 11:28 PM	#18
broncocalijohn Famer of Rings My Dog Richard Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Lake Forest, Orange County, Calif. Posts: 18,476 Adopt-a-Bronco: Simon Fletcher	didnt get it and didnt think i wanted to waste anymore time by clicking the link. You boys seem to think it was hysterical so to each their own.