Cheating Wife? - Page 2 - The Orange Mane

Miss I. · 08-25-2010, 09:54 AM

Truth in much said here. It's a tough call, but first thing would be as Garcia said, to speak the wife first. Actually since she told your wife, your wife should point blank tell her, "What you are doing is wrong and while I am friends with both of you and care for you, blah blah, I cannot stand by and be quiet as you hurt someone else I care about. I am respectfully suggesting you go to your husband and tell him what is going on. If you do not tell him by whatever time, I will go to him. I know this may mean the end of our friendships, but by telling me in the first place, it is obvious you need to clear your conscience about that, but I cannot do that for you, only you can, by discussing with your husband." Fact is, she could be giving this guy not only heartache but venereal diseases if she's sleeping with him and a bunch of other or even one other guy.

Garcia Bronco · 08-25-2010, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss I.

Truth in much said here. It's a tough call, but first thing would be as Garcia said, to speak the wife first. Actually since she told your wife, your wife should point blank tell her, "What you are doing is wrong and while I am friends with both of you and care for you, blah blah, I cannot stand by and be quiet as you hurt someone else I care about. I am respectfully suggesting you go to your husband and tell him what is going on. If you do not tell him by whatever time, I will go to him. I know this may mean the end of our friendships, but by telling me in the first place, it is obvious you need to clear your conscience about that, but I cannot do that for you, only you can, by discussing with your husband." Fact is, she could be giving this guy not only heartache but venereal diseases if she's sleeping with him and a bunch of other or even one other guy.

So her way is a little nicer and the one that should be used, but I would really want to call her names.

Hogan11 · 08-25-2010, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elsid13

Stay out of it, and distance yourself from the couple.

This.

Avoid getting involved in this situation at all costs.

NYBronco · 08-25-2010, 05:56 PM

Let it go.

I'm sure your buddy has recognized the changes in his wifes routine and either has already been seeing someone else himself or is now looking. Or perhaps they want to swing. Then its a different story.

loborugger · 08-26-2010, 08:42 AM

Alright, so its been a week since you started this thread. Progress?

DenverBroncosJM · 08-27-2010, 05:50 PM

Ok update.

We all went to a wedding the other weekend and and after a few drinks (open bar) my buddy pulls me aside and starts talking. He starts explaining everything to me that is going on the late nights, she is always on her phone, her dress code etc.

So I said to him "Ohh **** looks like she is cheating huh?" And he said "no I dont think thats it. I think she is just going out and having fun and its sort of a midlife crisis."

I said to him wait a second if anyone, anyone told me everything you just told me the first thought anyone would have is she is having an affair.

He said no she told me she would never do anything like that. I think its just the stress of the kids etc. He looked almost indignant that i even brought up that possibility, so I that point I knew it was a lost cause.

So he is basically delusional and there isnt anything I can say to him for him to stop being delusional. So my advice to him was to sit his wife down and talk to her and figure out what the problem is. We had a Vegas trip planned for opening weekend but I told him we should skip that and any other trips until him and his wife get their issues straightened out. The last thing I want is to be out with them and she screws up and says something.

So basically unless he walks in and she is naked in a sex swing and the other dude is there he isn't going to face the truth. With the amount of denial I saw/heard in our conversation there isn't anything I can say that will convince him.

loborugger · 08-27-2010, 06:38 PM

I am a bit of a cynic, but any time someone's response to a question is, "I would never", they already have. And this solidifies my belief. You have done your duty. Be there for your friend when/if he ever figures it out.

My wife's sister was completely delude to her 1st husband, probably worst than this. She finally got a clue when she got venereal disease. Some folks just gotta learn things the hard way.

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08-25-2010, 09:54 AM	#26
Miss I. Ring of Famer Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 7,025	Truth in much said here. It's a tough call, but first thing would be as Garcia said, to speak the wife first. Actually since she told your wife, your wife should point blank tell her, "What you are doing is wrong and while I am friends with both of you and care for you, blah blah, I cannot stand by and be quiet as you hurt someone else I care about. I am respectfully suggesting you go to your husband and tell him what is going on. If you do not tell him by whatever time, I will go to him. I know this may mean the end of our friendships, but by telling me in the first place, it is obvious you need to clear your conscience about that, but I cannot do that for you, only you can, by discussing with your husband." Fact is, she could be giving this guy not only heartache but venereal diseases if she's sleeping with him and a bunch of other or even one other guy.

08-25-2010, 05:56 PM	#29
NYBronco Ring of Famer Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 2,994	Let it go. I'm sure your buddy has recognized the changes in his wifes routine and either has already been seeing someone else himself or is now looking. Or perhaps they want to swing. Then its a different story.

08-26-2010, 08:42 AM	#30
loborugger lost in the ether Did we finally get a FB??? Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The 'cuse Posts: 5,783 Adopt-a-Bronco: Peyton Hillis	Alright, so its been a week since you started this thread. Progress?

08-27-2010, 05:50 PM	#31
DenverBroncosJM Post here Vine Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: California Posts: 975	Ok update. We all went to a wedding the other weekend and and after a few drinks (open bar) my buddy pulls me aside and starts talking. He starts explaining everything to me that is going on the late nights, she is always on her phone, her dress code etc. So I said to him "Ohh **** looks like she is cheating huh?" And he said "no I dont think thats it. I think she is just going out and having fun and its sort of a midlife crisis." I said to him wait a second if anyone, anyone told me everything you just told me the first thought anyone would have is she is having an affair. He said no she told me she would never do anything like that. I think its just the stress of the kids etc. He looked almost indignant that i even brought up that possibility, so I that point I knew it was a lost cause. So he is basically delusional and there isnt anything I can say to him for him to stop being delusional. So my advice to him was to sit his wife down and talk to her and figure out what the problem is. We had a Vegas trip planned for opening weekend but I told him we should skip that and any other trips until him and his wife get their issues straightened out. The last thing I want is to be out with them and she screws up and says something. So basically unless he walks in and she is naked in a sex swing and the other dude is there he isn't going to face the truth. With the amount of denial I saw/heard in our conversation there isn't anything I can say that will convince him.

08-27-2010, 06:38 PM	#32
loborugger lost in the ether Did we finally get a FB??? Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The 'cuse Posts: 5,783 Adopt-a-Bronco: Peyton Hillis	I am a bit of a cynic, but any time someone's response to a question is, "I would never", they already have. And this solidifies my belief. You have done your duty. Be there for your friend when/if he ever figures it out. My wife's sister was completely delude to her 1st husband, probably worst than this. She finally got a clue when she got venereal disease. Some folks just gotta learn things the hard way.