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Old 07-15-2010, 09:09 AM   #1
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Default Amazon reviewer has me laughing out loud...

It was complete freak chance that I came across this reviewer... I was looking for a new DVD for my son, and since he likes the Imagination Movers, I thought I'd check out their DVD on Amazon. I ran into a review that I recognized for a parody review, and decided to check what else the person had reviewed - What I found was a treasure trove of comedy that has made me laugh out loud more than once...

This is some good stuff:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-...R390WCS7C91XGH
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:19 AM   #2
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Raccoon attack.

Totally predictable.
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:28 AM   #3
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I shouldn't have opened this at work. I'm about to pee my pants. Baby Jesus Butt Plug...
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:30 AM   #4
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I like this little gem:

" Purely because of my surprise, and for no other reason, I screamed like a little girl and released a little urine. A word of caution: while I haven't been able to confirm this online, I think the smell of pee actually angers yellow jackets. "
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:32 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss I. View Post
I like this little gem:

" Purely because of my surprise, and for no other reason, I screamed like a little girl and released a little urine. A word of caution: while I haven't been able to confirm this online, I think the smell of pee actually angers yellow jackets. "

Bwahahaha!
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:33 AM   #6
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Pure awesomeness
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:36 AM   #7
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but let me tell you that it is very distracting to try to tan your hulk-like body while hearing the anguished cries of your neighbors.
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:39 AM   #8
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Then I loaded up my 1974 Chevy El Camino and drove to the playground
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:43 AM   #9
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This guy has 9 pages of this stuff!
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:59 AM   #10
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The olden Snitch one had me ROTFLOMFAO
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Old 07-15-2010, 10:05 AM   #11
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The Kendestrial Prophecies was ****ing gold.
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Old 07-15-2010, 10:09 AM   #12
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Thank you.
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Old 07-15-2010, 10:25 AM   #13
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And clean up is a snap!

All we do is dump the left-over food into the Cooshee seat and then fling it, catapult-style, at our neighbor's house. It's simple and we get watch the neighborhood wildlife eat. Once I shot a meatloaf dinner all the way to the second floor window. There were bits of mash potato and meat product dripping from the glass for weeks.
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Old 07-15-2010, 10:25 AM   #14
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you know what is also good are some of the people's response's to his reviews. He wrote a review on Bill Simmons book on Basketball and there is a huge discussion between him and some other guy. It's kind of funny. Can you tell I am a bit bored tonight?
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Old 07-15-2010, 10:32 AM   #15
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Um.... I made a mistake., April 4, 2010
This review is from: The Baby Jesus Butt Plug (Paperback)
Yeah, turns out that this is a book.... I didn't know that when I originally made the purchase. I should really moderate my impulse control.

Color me embarrassed.


A number of my friends have insisted that I need a pair of brass balls.... so I ran out to Amazon and purchased these very balls.


Now what?

Yea reading this at work is not reccommended, and has drawn several looks into my office.

Last edited by missingnumber7; 07-15-2010 at 10:47 AM..
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Old 07-15-2010, 10:36 AM   #16
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4. Described as, "The Thicker, quilted, picker upper", Bounty does as advertised. No matter what consistency comes out of me, these sheets will mop it up. Once I ate fifteen Taco Bell Gorditos in the span of nine minutes and washed it down with a chocolate milkshake and some of those cinnamon sticks. Within the hour I was running for my private sanctuary. I grabbed the sides of the bowl and a fountain of [content deleted by Amazon] to my horror I had missed!!! The [content deleted by Amazon] pooled into a brown [content deleted by Amazon]!!!! Let me tell you, I am so grateful that I had Bounty to come to the rescue. If I didn't, I would have simply left the mess for my wife to clean up and say the dog must have done it...
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Old 07-15-2010, 10:37 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss I. View Post
you know what is also good are some of the people's response's to his reviews. He wrote a review on Bill Simmons book on Basketball and there is a huge discussion between him and some other guy. It's kind of funny. Can you tell I am a bit bored tonight?
I caught that also. I had to go back and look at the earlier ones. Too funny.
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Old 07-15-2010, 10:59 AM   #18
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He got pages of comedy and best of all he is from VA. Yea, that's how we roll in VA.

Last edited by HILife; 07-15-2010 at 02:16 PM..
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Old 07-15-2010, 11:01 AM   #19
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I love this one...

It's not a bait issue. While trying to uncap the tube of bait I spilled it all over myself. Instead of cleaning up immediately, as the instructions say, I finished setting up the trap and promptly forgot all about it. I drank some muscle juice and sat down to bronze myself and dozed off. An hour later I woke up covered in yellow jackets. Purely because of my surprise, and for no other reason, I screamed like a little girl and released a little urine. A word of caution: while I haven't been able to confirm this online, I think the smell of pee actually angers yellow jackets.

Through this process of self discovery I now know that I can withstand over 300 stings....

I also learned that yellow jackets do not have barbs on their stingers, thus they can repeatedly sting you over and over and over and over and over only stopping when they are tired or bored.
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Old 07-15-2010, 11:29 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss I. View Post
I like this little gem:

" Purely because of my surprise, and for no other reason, I screamed like a little girl and released a little urine. A word of caution: while I haven't been able to confirm this online, I think the smell of pee actually angers yellow jackets. "
That is priceless. Especially him "confirming" it online.
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Old 07-15-2010, 12:02 PM   #21
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The one for "Justins Nut Butter" is pure classic.
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Old 07-15-2010, 12:04 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rohirrim View Post
The one for "Justins Nut Butter" is pure classic.
I was going to post that one too, funny ****.
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Old 07-15-2010, 12:34 PM   #23
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Awesome stuff. I love fake Amazon reviews — probably some of the greatest literature of our time.

For your consideration: http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three...owViewpoints=1
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Old 07-15-2010, 12:37 PM   #24
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The internet is great. You dont have to go through the scummy entertainment world for people to enjoy your talent.
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Old 07-15-2010, 01:11 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OCBronco View Post
Awesome stuff. I love fake Amazon reviews probably some of the greatest literature of our time.

For your consideration: http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three...owViewpoints=1
The item has wolves on it
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