How long should a reputation follow you?

[brncs_fan]

In my younger days (i.e. 19-25) I was a pretty big power drinker. I was also very social while I was drinking and spent a lot of time in the company of friends who witnessed said power drinking. After getting married, watching my father go through detox treatment, and then witnessing my grandfather's health deteriorate due to many years of alcoholic abuse to his body I decided it was time to cut back. Way back. I now maybe average two drinks a month and have for some time now.

I still get constantly asked by my, friends and now even my in-laws, "what's wrong?" when I say I don't want to drink any more after one. Last week I got together with a friend who noticed after several hours of hanging out that I wasn't drinking and asked "if I was sick or something." Yesterday my sister in-law mentioned that she wanted me to go out with her for her 21st birthday so that she could finally see if she could get as drunk as me.

This sort of thing hasn't really bothered me much until this last year or so. I see that as a phase in my life that I (as many do) went through and now it is over. However, instead of being seen as a professional, a husband, or any other notable trait I am still trying to overcome "Frank the Tank."

So I ask my fellow Maners, young and old, to share any insights, tips, thoughts, pointers, old ideas, new ideas, questions, queries, riddles, enigmas or whatever else and tell me how long should I expect this thing to go on for?

[bronclvr]

It will probably follow you around for a good while until they get to know the new "Frank"-hat's off to you, my Mother was raised by a drunken Father (who I never knew), and decided that Drink was not for her (and I never saw her drink ever)-

I totally respect your decision, and now you can look forward to a longer life without so much drama, and to the good memories that you will now be able to remember-I have five Sons, and one of them had a drinking problem-at about 25 he also realized what you have realized, and he now is doing well, although I know that everyone watches him if there is alcohol available-it takes time to see that the "change" is real. Great to hear stories like this-

[baja]

A book could br written about this subject. I will pass on one observation, your old drinking buddies will go to great leangths to get you to drink because that is the personality they enjoy being around and they do no feel comfortable with the sober you. In a way your soberity is a threat to some of them.You might have to get some new friends.

[CBF1]

This is a question that only Pee Wee Herman could answer

[listopencil]

You will always be the guy that used to drink a lot to the people who know you from that time period.

[kupesdad]

Originally Posted by baja

A book could br written about this subject. I will pass on one observation, your old drinking buddies will go to great leangths to get you to drink because that is the personality they enjoy being around and they do no feel comfortable with the sober you. In a way your soberity is a threat to some of them.You might have to get some new friends.

Baja nailed it. Unfortunately I built up a rep at a very young age of someone who thought he was bullet proof. At 26 years old, I quit everything and I know the first thing that people will look for when I die is whether it was drunk driving or an overdose or a number of other things that long ago I quit. So hang in there, the people that are your true friends will learn and understand the road you have decided to take.

[brncs_fan]

Most of the friends from those days are gone. Amazing how that happens.

My favorite was when everyone thought I was a "player" even though I had been in a serious relationship for a year and a half. That one has thankfully died off.

[Meck77]

"The easiest thing to lose and the hardest thing to regain is your reputation".

[chadta]

Originally Posted by Meck77

"The easiest thing to lose and the hardest thing to regain is your reputation".

i thought that was respect

[2KBack]

I think people tend to feel a little insulted, to an extent, if a person makes a conscious decision to quit doing something that said people still do. Like you are passing judgment on their lifestyles or something.

[broncosteven]

Originally Posted by Meck77

"The easiest thing to lose and the hardest thing to regain is your reputation".

My Grandfather, who my son is named for, drilled that into my skull.

He always preached hard work and having a good reputation and he was right it served me well.

[broncosteven]

Originally Posted by brncs_fan

In my younger days (i.e. 19-25) I was a pretty big power drinker. I was also very social while I was drinking and spent a lot of time in the company of friends who witnessed said power drinking. After getting married, watching my father go through detox treatment, and then witnessing my grandfather's health deteriorate due to many years of alcoholic abuse to his body I decided it was time to cut back. Way back. I now maybe average two drinks a month and have for some time now.

I still get constantly asked by my, friends and now even my in-laws, "what's wrong?" when I say I don't want to drink any more after one. Last week I got together with a friend who noticed after several hours of hanging out that I wasn't drinking and asked "if I was sick or something." Yesterday my sister in-law mentioned that she wanted me to go out with her for her 21st birthday so that she could finally see if she could get as drunk as me.

This sort of thing hasn't really bothered me much until this last year or so. I see that as a phase in my life that I (as many do) went through and now it is over. However, instead of being seen as a professional, a husband, or any other notable trait I am still trying to overcome "Frank the Tank."

So I ask my fellow Maners, young and old, to share any insights, tips, thoughts, pointers, old ideas, new ideas, questions, queries, riddles, enigmas or whatever else and tell me how long should I expect this thing to go on for?

I am not sure how old you are now or how much time as passed since you were 19-25 but I am guessing that your Rep is starting to change now that people are noticing and asking about the changes in your actions.

You can never take away the past but I would say a good 5 years if you see the people alot and more depending how often people see the changes in your life.

Just be grateful you made the changes in your life and people are starting to see it.

Keep up the good fight!

[Hogan11]

Cue up Joan Jett......

[Bronco Boy]

This is totally a question you should pose to people on a football message board.

[brncs_fan]

Originally Posted by kupesdad

Baja nailed it. Unfortunately I built up a rep at a very young age of someone who thought he was bullet proof. At 26 years old, I quit everything and I know the first thing that people will look for when I die is whether it was drunk driving or an overdose or a number of other things that long ago I quit. So hang in there, the people that are your true friends will learn and understand the road you have decided to take.

Good to hear that everything turned out right for you in the end. Sure it helped you raise your son to become something special.

[baja]

Originally Posted by brncs_fan

Good to hear that everything turned out right for you in the end. Sure it helped you raise your son to become something special.

Yes Kaylore is a luck man.

[broncocalijohn]

Originally Posted by TwinCitiesBronco

This is totally a question you should pose to people on a football message board.

it worked for McFoneco!

[Kaylore]

Next time they ask say something to the effect of "I'm not 21 anymore" and they'll get the idea. It will take saying to several different people but they'll figure it out.

[baja]

Originally Posted by Kaylore

Next time they ask say something to the effect of "I'm not 21 anymore" and they'll get the idea. It will take saying to several different people but they'll figure it out.

The normal ones will but the addicted ones will not.

[Pony Boy]

In my case, I got sick and tired of waking up sick and tired..

[Kaylore]

This reminds me of the episode of friends when Monica dates "fun bobby" but then notices he has a drinking problem. After she gets him to stop he's the most boring person in the world.

[TailgateNut]

Originally Posted by brncs_fan

In my younger days (i.e. 19-25) I was a pretty big power drinker. I was also very social while I was drinking and spent a lot of time in the company of friends who witnessed said power drinking. After getting married, watching my father go through detox treatment, and then witnessing my grandfather's health deteriorate due to many years of alcoholic abuse to his body I decided it was time to cut back. Way back. I now maybe average two drinks a month and have for some time now.

I still get constantly asked by my, friends and now even my in-laws, "what's wrong?" when I say I don't want to drink any more after one. Last week I got together with a friend who noticed after several hours of hanging out that I wasn't drinking and asked "if I was sick or something." Yesterday my sister in-law mentioned that she wanted me to go out with her for her 21st birthday so that she could finally see if she could get as drunk as me.

This sort of thing hasn't really bothered me much until this last year or so. I see that as a phase in my life that I (as many do) went through and now it is over. However, instead of being seen as a professional, a husband, or any other notable trait I am still trying to overcome "Frank the Tank."

So I ask my fellow Maners, young and old, to share any insights, tips, thoughts, pointers, old ideas, new ideas, questions, queries, riddles, enigmas or whatever else and tell me how long should I expect this thing to go on for?

Who cares what others think. As long as you're happy, "**** them". You may need to weed out the fake friends from the real friends and continue on. I've also stopped my "wild" drinking. I can count the number of drinks I've had since November of last year without "running ourt of fingers" ,and that is definately a MAJOR CHANGE for me, and those who know me, know that I used to have more than that during a few hours of tailgating.

Life is good and I don't miss the aquaintances lost.

Carry on, and don't worry about anyone else!

[UberBroncoMan]

11 years, 5 months, 62 days, give or take a lifetime.

[theAPAOps5]

When they ask say that you have a big day planned tomorrow. You are going to the Home Depot for some paint and trim and then after that maybe bed bath and beyond but you don't know if you will have enough time.

Then after they laugh at you do a keg stand and yell its good once it hits your lips. Follow that with a tank impression.

Then go streaking through the quad.

Problem solved.

In all seriousness though, who cares. You are living the better life for you.

[Irish Stout]

Originally Posted by TailgateNut

Who cares what others think. As long as you're happy, "**** them". You may need to weed out the fake friends from the real friends and continue on. I've also stopped my "wild" drinking. I can count the number of drinks I've had since November of last year without "running ourt of fingers" ,and that is definately a MAJOR CHANGE for me, and those who know me, know that I used to have more than that during a few hours of tailgating.

Life is good and I don't miss the aquaintances lost.

Carry on, and don't worry about anyone else!

This is excellent news and I will continue to be your friend, cause now when I come to your tailgate you won't bogart all the scotch!