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Old 06-24-2010, 05:10 PM   #1
TheReverend
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So... what would you do to try and fix the planet and give yourself what you always wanted?

1) Make my top 10 list into my harem
2) Fund the living crap out of research in stem cell and genetic fields with massive incentive bonuses for breakthroughs directly to the scientists. Hopefully that could help reverse the trend of the nations brightest minds working for wall street instead of the progress of mankind.
3) Pull the US out of the middle east and once we're out, tell Israel we're not going to help them OR stop them from annihlating their neighbors.
4) Lol hard publicly if a country or corporation asks for a bailout
5) Mandatory IQ tests in the job market
6) 30 mins of mandatory physical activity a day
7) Change punishments for criminals. BILLIONS of tax dollars go to situations that should be resolved with a two cent bullet.
8) Legalize pot
9) Have anyone who refers to baseball as a sport be publicly beaten.
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Old 06-24-2010, 05:59 PM   #2
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I would make everyone on the planet adopt a twice daily meditation practice.
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Old 06-24-2010, 06:11 PM   #3
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Be God.

Heh, someone allredy tried that....
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Old 06-24-2010, 06:14 PM   #4
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Be God.

Heh, someone allredy tried that....
Must you bring Shanahan into every thread.
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Old 06-24-2010, 06:15 PM   #5
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1) Institute the death penalty for the following crimes: eating crunchy food in public (an extra gruesome death would be reserved those who eat baby carrots in public), being loud in a movie theater, body odour, walking slowly in crowded spaces, kicking the seat in front of you, managing a company that hangs sign less than 7.5 feet off the floor or makes vehicles with too little leg/head space.

2) Abolish all holidays and make every 16th of the month (or the closest Monday) a new holiday, except for December when the entire week would be off, however it would be mandatory to perform volunteer work on at least 2 full days during the year on those holidays (social services would include shining statues and busts of me or if you are a hottie being naked in public would also do).

3) Put non-violent criminals to work doing manual labor, such as road works or basic assembly line type stuff. Violent criminals would be enrolled in mandatory clinical trials to test drugs and treatments and surgical techniques.

4) Remove the talent and ball-gown sections from pageants and replace them with pole dancing, also I would abolish all child pageants - children are not cute.

5) People would not be allowed to have more than 2 children, unless one of the kids die for any reason then they can have a replacement.

6) Increase research investment by a lot and move all research funding into researching immortality and holographics, because either I will live for ever or at least a lifelike hologram of me will live for ever and continue spreading my wisdom to the masses.

7) I would hire a team of snipers and station them randomly around the world with orders to shoot anyone who blocks an intersection or crosswalk or sidewalk or double parks or applies their brakes unnecarily on the highway - there are few crimes as heinous as being a nuisance in traffic.
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Old 06-24-2010, 06:22 PM   #6
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Personal responsibility.

Be excellent to each other.

Whirrled Peas.
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Old 06-24-2010, 06:24 PM   #7
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I would make cash and credit obsolete and base currency off of actual goods and services. Also all wealthy people must defend there own gold or homes or whatever. If they aren't strong or smart enough to keep it, they don't get to keep it. This will fix everyhing.
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Old 06-24-2010, 06:30 PM   #8
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I would eliminate the term "social justice" from the lexicon, and go back to just plain old "justice" and erase a century of bad law.
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Old 06-24-2010, 06:38 PM   #9
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I really wouldn't want to rule the world, not this one at least.
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Old 06-24-2010, 06:41 PM   #10
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I would ask Tebow what he would do, then do that

duh
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Old 06-24-2010, 06:46 PM   #11
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.
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Old 06-24-2010, 06:54 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheReverend View Post
So... what would you do to try and fix the planet and give yourself what you always wanted?

1) Make my top 10 list into my harem
2) Fund the living crap out of research in stem cell and genetic fields with massive incentive bonuses for breakthroughs directly to the scientists. Hopefully that could help reverse the trend of the nations brightest minds working for wall street instead of the progress of mankind.
3) Pull the US out of the middle east and once we're out, tell Israel we're not going to help them OR stop them from annihlating their neighbors.
4) Lol hard publicly if a country or corporation asks for a bailout
5) Mandatory IQ tests in the job market
6) 30 mins of mandatory physical activity a day
7) Change punishments for criminals. BILLIONS of tax dollars go to situations that should be resolved with a two cent bullet.
8) Legalize pot
9) Have anyone who refers to baseball as a sport be publicly beaten.

Absolutely the same.
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Old 06-24-2010, 06:59 PM   #13
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I've considered before and get caught in a tough decision. Do you pick the 10 most beautiful and make them a harem or use once and discard to ensure you don't miss a better one by focusing on the harem?

I'll admit, my subjects would hate me. I'm going crazy Caesar on them (minus the gay Caligula stuff).
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:18 PM   #14
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have reverse ATM fees. use the ATM, charge the bank.

first class seating for everyone. bring the planes out of mothball.

a global id card. mastercard for everyone. (APR variable.)
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:20 PM   #15
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What a bunch of selfish biatches. I'm so shocked.
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:20 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheReverend View Post
So... what would you do to try and fix the planet and give yourself what you always wanted?

1) Make my top 10 list into my harem
2) Fund the living crap out of research in stem cell and genetic fields with massive incentive bonuses for breakthroughs directly to the scientists. Hopefully that could help reverse the trend of the nations brightest minds working for wall street instead of the progress of mankind.
3) Pull the US out of the middle east and once we're out, tell Israel we're not going to help them OR stop them from annihlating their neighbors.
4) Lol hard publicly if a country or corporation asks for a bailout
5) Mandatory IQ tests in the job market
6) 30 mins of mandatory physical activity a day
7) Change punishments for criminals. BILLIONS of tax dollars go to situations that should be resolved with a two cent bullet.
8) Legalize pot
9) Have anyone who refers to baseball as a sport be publicly beaten.

Number 3 and number 7.

Oh, and eat the rich.
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:21 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OrangenBlueOhio View Post
Oh, and eat the rich.
Fitting.

Why don't you get started and eat me.

Last edited by Dr. Broncenstein; 06-24-2010 at 07:39 PM..
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:22 PM   #18
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Evict 99.9999% of the world's population. Where are they supposed to go? Hey that's not my problem. That's a YP.
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:28 PM   #19
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Quote:
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Evict 99.9999% of the world's population. Where are they supposed to go? Hey that's not my problem. That's a YP.
Are you crazy? That's fuqking ridiculous. How could you say such a thing.





Eighty % would be more than enough.
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:07 PM   #20
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IQ tests to procreate

No income tax, only consumption tax

A DARPA funded initiative to create an army of supermodel T-1000s

Sequels to all of my favorite movies and videogames

The national league DH and a Cubs World Series Victory

An animal fighting league.
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:15 PM   #21
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if I ruled the world?

I'd free alllll my soooons.


Political prisoner set free, stress free
No work release purple M3's and jet skis
Feel the wind breeze in West Indies


edit: well, every time I try to embed, it doesn't work.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMn2cCBwH18

Last edited by Boobs McGee; 06-24-2010 at 08:18 PM..
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:18 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheReverend View Post
So... what would you do to try and fix the planet and give yourself what you always wanted?

1) Make my top 10 list into my harem
2) Fund the living crap out of research in stem cell and genetic fields with massive incentive bonuses for breakthroughs directly to the scientists. Hopefully that could help reverse the trend of the nations brightest minds working for wall street instead of the progress of mankind.
3) Pull the US out of the middle east and once we're out, tell Israel we're not going to help them OR stop them from annihlating their neighbors.
4) Lol hard publicly if a country or corporation asks for a bailout
5) Mandatory IQ tests in the job market
6) 30 mins of mandatory physical activity a day
7) Change punishments for criminals. BILLIONS of tax dollars go to situations that should be resolved with a two cent bullet.
8) Legalize pot
9) Have anyone who refers to baseball as a sport be publicly beaten.
Love them all! Oh except for the harem thing, I'd just have Eric Decker. I would add

10. Piss tests for everyone applying for welfare, denied if they test positive for anything because if they can afford drugs they don't need welfare, make them work for the welfare EVERY DAY and unless they have been proven disabled by social security or 100% disabled by the VA, they work. None of this "I'm depressed" ****. Same for prisoners, EVERY DAY.

11. Jail for anyone traveling slowly in the left lane and not moving over.

Last edited by gunns; 06-24-2010 at 08:22 PM..
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:21 PM   #23
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Agree with Rev's list.

I'd also significantly increase funding for the space program.
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:25 PM   #24
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two chicks at the same time
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:28 PM   #25
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