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Old 06-16-2010, 08:14 AM   #1
bronclvr
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Default OT: Men's ages as determined by trips to Home Depot

Just a little humor this morning:

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house -- mowing the lawn, putting up a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot, sweaty, and covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on: Shorts with a hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing.. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is pretty.

In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog doo-doo in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, "I Got Worms ..."

In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog doo-doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you aren't sure.

In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog doo-doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

In your 90's & beyond:
What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?
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Old 06-16-2010, 08:18 AM   #2
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good stuff
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Old 06-16-2010, 09:05 AM   #3
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That's funny
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Old 06-16-2010, 09:07 AM   #4
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I re-read it and caught this...

What's a home deep hoe?
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Old 06-16-2010, 09:07 AM   #5
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Sounds alot like me!
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Old 06-16-2010, 09:11 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crawdad View Post
Sounds alot like me!
Do you even remember the last time you went to a Home Depot?
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Old 06-16-2010, 10:27 AM   #7
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do you people really do all of that before going to the store? im in my mid 20's and i have to say that i pretty much float from one activity to the next, without so much as a glance in the mirror.
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Old 06-16-2010, 10:37 AM   #8
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I don't clean up at all if it's for something real quick and I don't have time. I just go in and grab it. I had to stop by King Soopers last week on my way home from the gym. I was ripe, and I'm sure no one appreciated it but I didn't care.
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Old 06-17-2010, 02:31 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaylore View Post
I don't clean up at all if it's for something real quick and I don't have time. I just go in and grab it. I had to stop by King Soopers last week on my way home from the gym. I was ripe, and I'm sure no one appreciated it but I didn't care.
funny, i thought you did all your shopping at Wal-Mart?

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Old 06-17-2010, 02:39 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McChamp View Post
do you people really do all of that before going to the store? im in my mid 20's and i have to say that i pretty much float from one activity to the next, without so much as a glance in the mirror.
If you clean up before going to a hardware store your man card should definitely be revoked.
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Old 06-17-2010, 02:45 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gyldenlove View Post
If you clean up before going to a hardware store your man card should definitely be revoked.
I'm sorry to say that I'm guilty-where do I send my Card?
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Old 06-17-2010, 02:50 PM   #12
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Quote:
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I'm sorry to say that I'm guilty-where do I send my Card?


Somewhere in North Carolina. There is a person there who could really use one.
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Old 06-17-2010, 03:34 PM   #13
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Not at all PC.

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Old 06-17-2010, 07:49 PM   #14
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actually... that pretty much sounds like me!
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Old 06-17-2010, 07:52 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McChamp View Post
do you people really do all of that before going to the store? im in my mid 20's and i have to say that i pretty much float from one activity to the next, without so much as a glance in the mirror.
same here. i check the mirror when i get out of the shower in the morning when i wake up and aside from that just go about my business the rest of the day.
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Old 06-17-2010, 08:15 PM   #16
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No joke I just got back from Home Depot, damn I'm getting old.
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