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Old 06-06-2012, 03:19 PM   #701
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Originally Posted by TheChamp24 View Post
Okay, I'm in the process of making a decision in my life, and need some advice.

I am currently living in Texas, and I hate it here, only reason I moved here was to be near my family. However, there are family issues and I really want to move away.
First, let me say I got involved with a great woman, and we got engaged not too long ago. She moved here in Texas to be with me, but alas, she hates it here too. Now, I don't want to get in too many details, but she had a terrible childhood that caused her to have to drop out of high school, but is set on getting a GED to get into college. She is 22, and I am 25 with a Bachelor's in Accounting from University of Oklahoma. I have an okay job for a private company here, but could definitely get a better one with the economy picking up. She hasn't had a job because she continues to get hired at a place and either not like it, or the pay/hours are **** and no use working it for getting the price back to cover the gas.
Also, she has a 4 year old daughter, so makes it tougher.
Now, she comes from the East Coast, Myrtle Beach, SC. She is very easy-going, comfortable and I'll say "care-free". Most people over there are. Well, she tells me we can move to Myrtle Beach, cut our expenses down, she can easily get a job as a server, and she has contacts and a staffing agency that can get me a job in a month. Basically, become financially stable because we aren't here.
Now, my parents/family will be upset due to the fact that I am leaving a job, known income, to go someplace where there is no guarantee, and also have no money.

I know I'm leaving some stuff out, but basically, I want to hear what other people think of moving out there, which she wants to do in June, for what she feels is the right thing to do, and will make us stable and happy.
I say go for it! What is the worst that could happen? It's not like you are going to knock her up and then catch her cheating on you with your roommate that she wanted to move in with you and then get the **** kicked out of you by said roommate and end up living back at home with your mom trying to get child support payments.
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Old 06-06-2012, 03:35 PM   #702
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I've processed it all, and its still in the "establishment" phase with the Attorney General's office here in Houston.
The court order that was signed stated child support was due to begin May 1st, Talking with my lawyer he said usually the courts won't do much unless the dollar amount gets in the thousands. I figure if she continues to be a b**** about things, and not pay, come next year I just might look at going to the courts and have them deal with it.
You might just think about looking into going to court for the money you're owed if you still aren't getting paid in a year?

Can I have $200 dollars? I'll totally pay you back. Trust me.
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Old 06-06-2012, 03:46 PM   #703
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You might just think about looking into going to court for the money you're owed if you still aren't getting paid in a year?

Can I have $200 dollars? I'll totally pay you back. Trust me.
for some reason this made me think of this important story from Popeye...



I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today...
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Old 06-06-2012, 03:52 PM   #704
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Okay guys, let me enlighten some of you. I won my court back in mid April, and immediately set up a case with the Attorney General for establishing child support referencing the court case number.
Just now there is an update that the Attorney General has been appointed to handle the payments for child support, all payments are paid to them, who then pay me. This is to keep an accurate record of all payments, and she can't claim she paid me cash and I accepted it. Only acceptable child support payments are done through them. Plus, if she's employed, it is supposed to be taken out of her paycheck automatically. From a source, I hear she's gotten fired from a recent job, and the other thing of note I found out, she's pregnant. lol

Now, with the child support, yes I'm entitled to it, but she's in another state, and actually has not been served with official court papers of the outcome of the custody battle. She knows I won, she knows she's supposed to pay child support. I don't want to pay the process server fees for getting her officially served, especially since I don't know her exact location. Add to it, if I went to the courts saying she isn't paying, they would need to be able to find out where she is to serve her that I'm going after her for the child support.
I'm honestly waiting to get all the child support stuff set up and processed, and then look at what I can do. The least of my concerns right now are forcing her to pay money because then I would actually have to have communication outside the family website I'm using, which she has yet to sign up for.
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Old 06-06-2012, 04:06 PM   #705
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well....

Godspeed...

If she ever comes knocking (I'd put money on it), DONT TAKE HER BACK.
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Old 06-06-2012, 04:17 PM   #706
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Originally Posted by Cleo McDowell View Post
well....

Godspeed...

If she ever comes knocking (I'd put money on it), DONT TAKE HER BACK.
THIS X 100,000,000,000,000,000 !!!!!
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Old 06-06-2012, 04:19 PM   #707
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well....

Godspeed...

If she ever comes knocking (I'd put money on it), Blow it in her eye first. But.. DONT TAKE HER BACK.



Fixed.
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Old 06-06-2012, 04:19 PM   #708
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Can we get RockPaperSissors to offer her opinion now?
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Old 06-06-2012, 04:20 PM   #709
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I'd be doing everything I could to find her exact location. You need to get your money, it will help raise your child.
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Old 06-06-2012, 04:48 PM   #710
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Originally Posted by TheChamp24 View Post
she had a terrible childhood that caused her to have to drop out of high school,

Now, my parents/family will be upset due to the fact that I am leaving a job, known income, to go someplace where there is no guarantee, and also have no money.

I know I'm leaving some stuff out, but basically, I want to hear what other people think of moving out there, which she wants to do in June, for what she feels is the right thing to do, and will make us stable and happy.
We reap what we sow.....If true I'm sorry about the situation you are in but at the same time you explained the end in your very first post and didn't even realize it at the time. Sadly terrible childhoods usually result in creating more terrible childhoods.....

Now you'll be able to spot the Mack truck steaming towards your life much easier and be able to step out of the way.
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Old 06-06-2012, 05:18 PM   #711
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only read a little about this page one and then the last page..

how about, walk a mile in his moccasins before opening ones mouth..
This 10 times this.
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Old 06-06-2012, 05:21 PM   #712
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Originally Posted by underrated29 View Post
100% what i was thinking.



24champ- This is not an equal relationship (even though its over you still have to deal with her on some level so it is a relationship just not a loving one)- this relationship only has two things:
1-the dominant person
2-the biotch.

Dont be the b****, this is your lesson and time to learn. One of you two is going to be the b****, there is no way around it. It will happen. So if you are tired of feeling like this, and making excuses about how great it is being a young single dad is, then man the eff up and bring the hammer down on her. You've been the b**** the entire relationship she will not be expecting you to switch the roles on her and catch her by surprise. Be the man, be the one large and in charge for your daughter.

Wrong guy man. Cmon!
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Old 06-06-2012, 05:27 PM   #713
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I'm so glad this story came back.

As I always say, we gotta fill up our time with something. You just chose a crazier path than most.
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Old 06-06-2012, 05:35 PM   #714
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Originally Posted by TheChamp24 View Post
Okay guys, let me enlighten some of you. I won my court back in mid April, and immediately set up a case with the Attorney General for establishing child support referencing the court case number.
Just now there is an update that the Attorney General has been appointed to handle the payments for child support, all payments are paid to them, who then pay me. This is to keep an accurate record of all payments, and she can't claim she paid me cash and I accepted it. Only acceptable child support payments are done through them. Plus, if she's employed, it is supposed to be taken out of her paycheck automatically. From a source, I hear she's gotten fired from a recent job, and the other thing of note I found out, she's pregnant. lol

Now, with the child support, yes I'm entitled to it, but she's in another state, and actually has not been served with official court papers of the outcome of the custody battle. She knows I won, she knows she's supposed to pay child support. I don't want to pay the process server fees for getting her officially served, especially since I don't know her exact location. Add to it, if I went to the courts saying she isn't paying, they would need to be able to find out where she is to serve her that I'm going after her for the child support.
I'm honestly waiting to get all the child support stuff set up and processed, and then look at what I can do. The least of my concerns right now are forcing her to pay money because then I would actually have to have communication outside the family website I'm using, which she has yet to sign up for.
My advice forget the child support (that you will never get anyway) and focus on the tremendous responsibility of raising a child as a single parent.

You said she is pregnant, are you sure you are not the father.
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Old 06-06-2012, 05:36 PM   #715
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Why not take some time off, a week or so, and go down to South Carolina. See for yourself what it is or isn't. What your job opportunities might be, salaries, general cost of living things.

Get all the information. Think it over critically, taking her out of the situation.

What is best for you?
Will I be happier here or there?

Things change in a hurry, and if you are moving to make someone else happy it will not turn out well.

This, first and foremost, and you're young enough to take some chances and recover completely if things don't work out as planned. Go for it. Life should be an adventure.
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Old 06-06-2012, 05:44 PM   #716
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Serving her with papers and establishing her deadbeat parent status will protect your custody rights. She won't be able to get custody later if she's behind on child support.
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Old 06-06-2012, 06:25 PM   #717
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My advice forget the child support (that you will never get anyway) and focus on the tremendous responsibility of raising a child as a single parent.

You said she is pregnant, are you sure you are not the father.
is he sure hes the father of the child hes got now ?
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Old 06-06-2012, 06:26 PM   #718
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I'd get on the horn with Maury.

He'll straighten it out.
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Old 06-06-2012, 07:07 PM   #719
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Wow.. After 31 pages, I can't help but wonder if some day this child is going to end up telling some poor sucker the story of why she had to drop out of High School after her Mom dumped her in a Walmart parking lot and she went to go live with her Dad who she hadn't seen since her, Mom, Dad, and Kyle (the guy that was ****ing my Mom....No Dad knew he was just a bit of a p***Y) all lived together, and then later Mom and Dad got back together and she had to drop out of school at that point to help pay for Kyle's new Camaro, because mom couldn't find a job that didn't annoy her....

For some reason this chick reminds me of Sharon Stones character in Casino...
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Old 06-06-2012, 07:20 PM   #720
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Old 06-06-2012, 07:56 PM   #721
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Oh lawd!

In b4 he's raising Kyle's kid.
not gonna lie.....kinda wanna drink some beers with Kyle...seems like a cool dude
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Old 06-06-2012, 08:08 PM   #722
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Considering I have a beautiful daughter that means the world to me, I have a stable job gaining the precious experience, and no longer have to deal with her crazy ass, I feel it all has worked out.
I have been raising my daughter for almost 4 months on my own now. I caught her up on immunizations, enrolled her in a great daycare, ensure she has plenty of food, bathe her every night, lotion every night, make sure she is stocked up on clean clothes and diapers. Get her doctor visits if she's sick, spend pretty much all my free time playing/interacting with her. The moment she started to walk has been one of the happiest days of my life, it was amazing for me.

As for all the comments why I didn't beat up Kyle, etc. Well, who has a criminal record now? Not I, heck I've been told Kyle has had some trouble getting a decent job due to him having a criminal assault charge now. And if the former Mrs. ever wants to try to "win back" her kid(not likely able to anyways since she lost already), and if she is still with him, guess who gets to play "My child is not living in the household of a man convicted of family violence" card?

I will admit I chose things poorly, but if I broke up with her back then, I wouldn't have this beautiful daughter to raise.
Good to hear of the progress.. BUT take it from someone who has had/seen past situations like this.. Mothers almost never just walk away..

SOmeday she will get righteous and will show up on the doorstep most likely with lawyer in tow..

may not get full custody but enough to screw with your daughters mind..

Never ever bad mouth her mom in her presence or elsewhere, best thing to say is she is no longer around if asked about it.. DO not say she is dead, just you have no knowledge of where she is..

always take the high road if you can't say something nice (which I would never do ) say nothing..

Someday she will be asking about her be prepared..
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Old 06-06-2012, 08:14 PM   #723
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Serving her with papers and establishing her deadbeat parent status will protect your custody rights. She won't be able to get custody later if she's behind on child support.
in todays litigious world nothing is safe.. find the right uber liberal Judge and he will be paying back child support because she did not..

even if she does not win it will cost money that could be spent on education..
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Old 06-06-2012, 08:19 PM   #724
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I've processed it all, and its still in the "establishment" phase with the Attorney General's office here in Houston.
The court order that was signed stated child support was due to begin May 1st, Talking with my lawyer he said usually the courts won't do much unless the dollar amount gets in the thousands. I figure if she continues to be a b**** about things, and not pay, come next year I just might look at going to the courts and have them deal with it.
Just walk away, forget the money to keep her out of here life and hope to hell she never comes back after you for custodial issues....

a few dollars just is not worth the long-term hassle it could be..
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Old 06-06-2012, 08:22 PM   #725
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You should. Paying for kids goes both ways, women should not get out of it. Don't worry so much about people making fun of you. If it's just in fun, little jabs no big deal, but when it gets personal I feel it says more about the person hurling the insult, then it does what happened to you.

The statement from attorney courts won't deal with it until its in the thousands sounds sort of fishy to me. I work in a law office part time and usually that means they are too busy to do it right now. Its ok though if the guy a good lawyer it doesn't mean much other then he is busy and will say what he needs to say to clients. Sometimes outright ignore them because answering the phone is a billable thing etc etc. Then you could also start a facebook page about how she is a deadbeat mom, send invites to everyone you know that knows her. Worked well for a person I know in CA except they did it through twitter.
Not all that sure, but it could be considered slander..
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