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Old 04-30-2010, 05:55 AM   #426
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It's not impossible that it's someone else or a fiancee/McFoneco combo, but "redicules" is practically an OM meme. Certainly a meme that some hoodrat with a teenage kid and no GED could stumble into, but I think it's a trolling account.
Oh, absolutely a troll. Just not the Dortoh, I don't think. I also think he'd be more versed in playing the part at this point rather than give away details he wouldn't know.
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Old 04-30-2010, 06:35 AM   #427
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You seem like a reasonable man you must be very lonely here.
Well, you got me I guess, very very funny.

Why tf are you talking first person when you're not Foneco? You've been on the board a week, and this is the only thread you've posted in. Dortoh would've covered his tracks better than that. You sir, are but a shadow of the brilliance that is Dortoh.

Why did I open this thread?
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Old 04-30-2010, 07:16 AM   #428
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Old 04-30-2010, 07:18 AM   #429
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Just another p***Y whipped guy ruining his life, nothing special.
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Old 04-30-2010, 07:18 AM   #430
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Looks like you GF showed up last night
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Old 04-30-2010, 07:23 AM   #431
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Some of you seriously think that is her? lol
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Old 04-30-2010, 08:10 AM   #432
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I knew it wasn't her. I didn't feel the evil of the succubus demon.
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Old 04-30-2010, 08:45 AM   #433
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So... a couple of questions. What is a myrtle, and why name a beach after them?

And McFoneco, do you need any more advice?

And where's the pic of the gf?
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Old 04-30-2010, 11:25 AM   #434
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Okay, I think we need to give McFoneco some different advice. He obviously doesn't want to take sound advice about getting out of a situation that is bound to fail. So how can his situation actually work? Too many people get into a situation expecting to be the exception to the rule, but they have no idea how to be the exception, so they end up screwed like most other people in that similar situation.

McFoneco, you can't go into this as the sole supporter of this family. Some day in the future maybe you'll be able to support a family on your own, but right now you can't. You need her to get off her ass an contribute. If she doesn't get her act together you need to bounce.

She needs a plan, and you should demand that she has a plan. She needs to get her GED right now and before you guys move to SC, she needs to have a college already selected and she should be enrolled in that college. She should know the courses she's going to take, when school starts, what her plan is at that school. If you guys go out there without those plans already in place then she's probably not ever going to get around to doing it. You need to hold her hand through the process, because she obviously isn't going to do it herself. If she doesn't get it done then you are so screwed.

She can get financial aid that can help pay the bills. Financial aid can help out a lot. Your income plus that will get you guys by. And there are a lot of organizations that are willing to help moms who are going to college. Find out about those programs before you move out there.

I can't stress that enough. Have a plan before you go. And you need a plan for yourself too. Have a job already lined up, one that you can start the day you get out there. And have your own apartment before you get there. Don't rely on staying with one of her family members until you can find a place.

One last piece of advice. It's been said by a number of people here, do not get this woman pregnant!!!! If you two are going to work then she needs to meet certain goals. Getting knocked up will kill all of those goals. You think she'd go to college with one kid and a second on the way? That would just be another excuse for her to use. It seems like she's good at using excuses. And be careful because she might want to have that excuse. She might want to have a kid with you really soon just so you're stuck taking care of her and she doesn't have to do anything. Some women do that. So if she says she's on the pill you better still use a condom every time. If she tells you that she doesn't want you to use it then you know what she's trying to do. She's trying to get knocked up. That should tell you that you're screwed.

It looks like you're really trying to go the distance with her, so don't have any kids with her until she's graduated from college and has been in her career for a number of years. By then both of you should be able to afford to expand the family.

Bottom line, you're trying to be Captain Save a Ho. That's a tough job. The only way to save her is if she wants to be saved, and if she's willing to do the work, which is what I question. Based on what you've told us I don't think she's going to want to stick to any plan that requires her to do anything. So that's where you have to put your foot down, and you have to be ready to leave the relationship if she doesn't comply. Remember, you have no real attachment to her, so leaving is simply. And that's why we've told you not to get her pregnant. If you do then you will be tied to her and she could just sit back and do a whole lot of nothing. As long as there is a threat of you leaving, if she really wants to make it work then she'll stick to the plan. But if she's fighting the plan, then you know that she's just using you as a meal ticket. If you sense that then get out of there.

Hopefully this is advice that you will take, sense it is going along the lines of what you want.
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Old 04-30-2010, 11:31 AM   #435
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Okay, I think we need to give McFoneco some different advice. He obviously doesn't want to take sound advice about getting out of a situation that is bound to fail. So how can his situation actually work? Too many people get into a situation expecting to be the exception to the rule, but they have no idea how to be the exception, so they end up screwed like most other people in that similar situation.

McFoneco, you can't go into this as the sole supporter of this family. Some day in the future maybe you'll be able to support a family on your own, but right now you can't. You need her to get off her ass an contribute. If she doesn't get her act together you need to bounce.

She needs a plan, and you should demand that she has a plan. She needs to get her GED right now and before you guys move to SC, she needs to have a college already selected and she should be enrolled in that college. She should know the courses she's going to take, when school starts, what her plan is at that school. If you guys go out there without those plans already in place then she's probably not ever going to get around to doing it. You need to hold her hand through the process, because she obviously isn't going to do it herself. If she doesn't get it done then you are so screwed.

She can get financial aid that can help pay the bills. Financial aid can help out a lot. Your income plus that will get you guys by. And there are a lot of organizations that are willing to help moms who are going to college. Find out about those programs before you move out there.

I can't stress that enough. Have a plan before you go. And you need a plan for yourself too. Have a job already lined up, one that you can start the day you get out there. And have your own apartment before you get there. Don't rely on staying with one of her family members until you can find a place.

One last piece of advice. It's been said by a number of people here, do not get this woman pregnant!!!! If you two are going to work then she needs to meet certain goals. Getting knocked up will kill all of those goals. You think she'd go to college with one kid and a second on the way? That would just be another excuse for her to use. It seems like she's good at using excuses. And be careful because she might want to have that excuse. She might want to have a kid with you really soon just so you're stuck taking care of her and she doesn't have to do anything. Some women do that. So if she says she's on the pill you better still use a condom every time. If she tells you that she doesn't want you to use it then you know what she's trying to do. She's trying to get knocked up. That should tell you that you're screwed.

It looks like you're really trying to go the distance with her, so don't have any kids with her until she's graduated from college and has been in her career for a number of years. By then both of you should be able to afford to expand the family.

Bottom line, you're trying to be Captain Save a Ho. That's a tough job. The only way to save her is if she wants to be saved, and if she's willing to do the work, which is what I question. Based on what you've told us I don't think she's going to want to stick to any plan that requires her to do anything. So that's where you have to put your foot down, and you have to be ready to leave the relationship if she doesn't comply. Remember, you have no real attachment to her, so leaving is simply. And that's why we've told you not to get her pregnant. If you do then you will be tied to her and she could just sit back and do a whole lot of nothing. As long as there is a threat of you leaving, if she really wants to make it work then she'll stick to the plan. But if she's fighting the plan, then you know that she's just using you as a meal ticket. If you sense that then get out of there.

Hopefully this is advice that you will take, sense it is going along the lines of what you want.
I may be talking out of my @ss on this one, but I bet if he answered all of the questions you asked honestly, he wouldn't be with her. Personally, I'd never be with someone who had an excuse for everything. Personal responsibility, it's quite a concept.
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Old 04-30-2010, 12:38 PM   #436
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Old 04-30-2010, 12:41 PM   #437
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No brainer, imo.

"She hasn't had a job because she continues to get hired at a place and either not like it"

"Also, she has a 4 year old daughter, so makes it tougher."

"Now, I don't want to get in too many details, but she had a terrible childhood that caused her to have to drop out of high school"

Three key sentences. I'm sure she had rough circumstances as you said, but now she has a 4 year old and apparently lacks the responsibility to even put a solid effort into independently taking care of her child. You can try and blow that off as another reason to where she feels comfortable moving, but uprooting your own life (which it sounds like you have YOUR **** together, albeit probably a little blinded by emotion) on a chance she matures is absurd.

Side note: Unrelated to the previous point, but something that sounds like it's true. You may be being used. A relationship should be based on mutual respect, not by being Captain Save-A-Ho. That may or may not pertain to you, but take a step back and a close look at who you are and the reality of your relationship before doing ANYTHING.

So much more goes into this... what are your families opinions? Is this relationship what caused stress between you and your family? Do you feel the relationship is healthy, or is moving an option partly because you think it will heal part of the relationship?
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Old 04-30-2010, 12:47 PM   #438
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Old 04-30-2010, 12:51 PM   #439
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Old 04-30-2010, 12:52 PM   #440
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I may be talking out of my @ss on this one, but I bet if he answered all of the questions you asked honestly, he wouldn't be with her. Personally, I'd never be with someone who had an excuse for everything. Personal responsibility, it's quite a concept.
You're not talking out your ass with that one. Your point is spot on. I have the feeling that if he presented a plan like that to her and she went against it he'd stay with her. I know we've all be ragging on him, but hopefully he'll be strong enough to make this work. Time to man up and be a leaders. That's a problem with a lot of American men. Too many of us are being led around by women.
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Old 04-30-2010, 12:54 PM   #441
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Old 04-30-2010, 12:56 PM   #442
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Old 04-30-2010, 12:58 PM   #443
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You're not talking out your ass with that one. Your point is spot on. I have the feeling that if he presented a plan like that to her and she went against it he'd stay with her. I know we've all be ragging on him, but hopefully he'll be strong enough to make this work. Time to man up and be a leaders. That's a problem with a lot of American men. Too many of us are being led around by women.
Oh for fecks sake...that's the problem with American men? not that you don't take responsibility for your own ill conceived choices but that a woman made you do it? Seriously?
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Old 04-30-2010, 01:07 PM   #444
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Old 04-30-2010, 01:10 PM   #445
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Old 04-30-2010, 01:11 PM   #446
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Epic thread indeed!
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Old 04-30-2010, 01:14 PM   #447
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Old 04-30-2010, 01:36 PM   #448
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Oh for fecks sake...that's the problem with American men? not that you don't take responsibility for your own ill conceived choices but that a woman made you do it? Seriously?
Hold up. I'm not blaming women for it. That's not what I'm saying at all (it's a trip, one woman that I was with had a habit of putting her own meaning to stuff that I was saying and would try to use it against me lol) .

The problem is with men. I'm all about being accountable for ones self. If a man is being led around by a woman and made a fool of then it's by his own doing. People can only do to you what you let them.

If you notice we're trying to help him with his choices and we're letting him know that the choices that he's making could screw him. It's not the woman's fault, it's his fault for the choices he's making.
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Old 04-30-2010, 01:49 PM   #449
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Hold up. I'm not blaming women for it. That's not what I'm saying at all (it's a trip, one woman that I was with had a habit of putting her own meaning to stuff that I was saying and would try to use it against me lol) .

The problem is with men. I'm all about being accountable for ones self. If a man is being led around by a woman and made a fool of then it's by his own doing. People can only do to you what you let them.

If you notice we're trying to help him with his choices and we're letting him know that the choices that he's making could screw him. It's not the woman's fault, it's his fault for the choices he's making.
Okay I am not putting meaning to what you say. But you keep saying if a man is led around by a woman it sort of implies his choices are dictated by her so I take exception to that implication.

I dated a guy who never wanted to make a decision which drove me crazy. I mean I like making decisions, but not all of them by myself. It's a relationship not a dictatorship.

Independence, as my name implies is important to me and it's not a gender thing. Men and women both need to be able to stand on their own, financially, emotionally, intellectually before they can ever be with someone else in a meaningful relationship. I never liked the whole you complete me crap from Jerry Maguire..if you aren't complete before you meet someone, you sure as heck won't be with them.

And for the most part I concur with the advice in here, though some of the more vitriolic remarks were damaging to the points they were trying to make.

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Old 04-30-2010, 01:57 PM   #450
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Okay I am not putting meaning to what you say. But you keep saying if a man is led around by a woman it sort of implies his choices are dictated by her so I take exception to that implication.

I dated a guy who never wanted to make a decision which drove me crazy. I mean I like making decisions, but not all of them by myself. It's a relationship not a dictatorship.

Independence, as my name implies is important to me and it's not a gender thing. Men and women both need to be able to stand on their own, financially, emotionally, intellectually before they can ever be with someone else in a meaningful relationship. I never liked the whole you complete me crap from Jerry Maguire..if you aren't complete before you meet someone, you sure as heck won't be with them.

And for the most part I concur with the advice in here, though some of the more vitriolic remarks were damaging to the points they were trying to make.

Well, I'd say that I am saying that his choices are dictated by the woman, but I guess we differ on where the blame goes. It appears that you think that I'm blaming the woman for that. But I'm really blaming the guy.

A lot of relationships are pretty much dictatorships. Either led by the man or by the woman. I really have a problem with both of those relationship models. I'm all about equality in a relationship. And the decisions shouldn't be based on what one person wants, but what is best for both people. Usually the person running the show makes decisions based on what that person wants. I don't see why a man or woman would let their partner run them around.

I speak from a guy's point of view, so I get really annoyed to see a man who is whipped, but I also have a problem with a woman who lets a man boss her around. It seems like some women hate being bossed around so much that they just become the boss, and some guys will let them run right over them. There doesn't have to be a boss in a relationship. Not in these days and times.
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