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Old 09-21-2009, 09:45 AM   #1
baja
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Default Why you should go to football games...

Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal 20 government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .
If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala .
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan .
If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1 - spending it at yard sales, or

2 - going to football games, or

3 - spending it on prostitutes, or

4 - beer or

5 - tattoos.

These are the only American businesses still operating in the US .


I'm going to go to a football game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a yard sale, and drink beer! Yay!
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Old 09-21-2009, 09:48 AM   #2
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Are we really getting another stimulus payment? Cool...
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Old 09-21-2009, 09:50 AM   #3
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That brings up an interesting point. We assume that all the NFL teams are American owned but more than likely that isn't the case. Often the "owners" as we know them only own a small portion of the teams. Who's to say they haven't sold off major portions to foreign investors which is probably the case. Hell even the Broncos are foreign owned if you want to get right down to it. Or is Bowlen a citizen of America now?
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Old 09-21-2009, 10:16 AM   #4
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Get out of here with your crazy Mexican agenda and propoganda.
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Old 09-21-2009, 10:16 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baja View Post
3 - spending it on prostitutes, or
I think that money will end up going to Columbia! Won't it??
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Old 09-21-2009, 11:37 AM   #6
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I'm buying a snow blower. Everybody else should too. The Farmer's Almanac says it's going to be a mean winter. We should factor that in when we look at the schedule.
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