Why your teams sucks: Chicago Bears edition - The Orange Mane

Peoples Champ · 08-26-2009, 10:14 AM

I figured I would post this, in tribute to the Bears coming to Mile High this weekend.

http://deadspin.com/5346047/why-your...-chicago-bears

TheElusiveKyleOrton · 08-26-2009, 10:15 AM

I was wondering when this would be posted.

Prepare yourself for the "get over it!" shouts from the Cutler nuthuggers.

Peoples Champ · 08-26-2009, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatOneDenverMooseGuy

I was wondering when this would be posted.

Prepare yourself for the "get over it!" shouts from the Cutler nuthuggers.

Ya, this is about the Bears, I would do it to any team we are playing in the current football week.

TonyR · 08-26-2009, 10:27 AM

I've said this about Cutler many, many times myself:

He's also maddeningly inconsistent. For every brilliant performance Cutler gave last year, he turned in an equally turnoverriffic choke job, particularly during the Broncos' now infamous three-game losing streak to close out the 2008 season in which he tossed four interceptions and averaged a passer rating of 73.9. And that was when he had GOOD receivers to work with.

And why am I just hearing the name "Frown Cannon" for the first time?

I keep asking Fatsis to go on the record with tales of the Frown Cannon's legendary dickishness.

Rulon Velvet Jones · 08-26-2009, 10:29 AM

Cutler****er and Marmalard are Magary's nicknames for both Cutler and Rivers. They roll off the tongue quite well.

Irish Stout · 08-26-2009, 10:30 AM

That was hilarious!

TheReverend · 08-26-2009, 10:32 AM

These two parts had me rolling:

"Look, that was a fine team, even if they played in an era where someone like Mike Ditka could somehow manage to outcoach other people."

"1. Jerry Angelo's draft record:

2005—Cedric Benson (1), Mark Bradley (2) (next pick was Kyle Orton in the 4th round—best draft ever?)"

Inkana7 · 08-26-2009, 10:34 AM

The Frown Cannon. That's awesome.

~Crash~ · 08-26-2009, 10:35 AM

wow I was really impressed with the part that the o-line quit blocking for Cutler nice read ..... oh my blinders at full tilt... and the ****s really showed such nice journalism

Peoples Champ · 08-26-2009, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheReverend

These two parts had me rolling:

"Look, that was a fine team, even if they played in an era where someone like Mike Ditka could somehow manage to outcoach other people."

"1. Jerry Angelo's draft record:

2005—Cedric Benson (1), Mark Bradley (2) (next pick was Kyle Orton in the 4th round—best draft ever?)"

I liked when he said that every time KC wins a game, they dont go saying, here comes the 69 Chiefs, just like Bears fans do with the 1985 bears.

Irish Stout · 08-26-2009, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Crash~

wow I was really impressed with the part that the o-line quit blocking for Cutler nice read ..... oh my blinders at full tilt... and the ****s really showed such nice journalism

Yeah journalism.... uhhh... thats not journalism and the author knows it. It is an editorial.

Peoples Champ · 08-26-2009, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish Stout

Yeah journalism.... uhhh... thats not journalism and the author knows it. It is an editorial.

I would say more of a blog

Smiling Assassin27 · 08-26-2009, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Jay Cutler is an emo-banged ********** who makes his teammates want to rape him with a rake.

When are we getting our sigs back??

Atlas · 08-26-2009, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatOneDenverMooseGuy

I was wondering when this would be posted.

Prepare yourself for the "get over it!" shouts from the Cutler nuthuggers.

I guess that is about the same as you being a McD Jizz Swallower. So how does it taste?

Flex Gunmetal · 08-26-2009, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Crash~

wow I was really impressed with the part that the o-line quit blocking for Cutler nice read ..... oh my blinders at full tilt... and the ****s really showed such nice journalism

Good point, clown!

TheReverend · 08-26-2009, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flex Gunmetal

Good point, clown!

Oh, hi. How are you?

Flex Gunmetal · 08-26-2009, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheReverend

Oh, hi. How are you?

So hot right now.

TheReverend · 08-26-2009, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flex Gunmetal

So hot right now.

Go on.

TheElusiveKyleOrton · 08-26-2009, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atlas

I guess that is about the same as you being a McD Jizz Swallower. So how does it taste?

You're right. It must be swallowing jizz to actually wait until the season starts to begin calling for his head. How silly of me!

thanks for clearing that up, Atlas. Don't know what we'd do without your guidance in such important matters. /rolleyes

TheDave · 08-26-2009, 11:40 AM

Quote:

**** that noise. Let's lay it bare. Jay Cutler is an emo-banged ********** who makes his teammates want to rape him with a rake. You don't have to like your QB to win a championship. But you do have to actively not want to stop blocking for him so that he'll get a massive spinal cord injury and then be airlifted back to Indiana and left for dead. That's key.

Dude has some anger issues... Funny... but if I was his kids/wife/man friend, I'd sleep with one eye open.

Flex Gunmetal · 08-26-2009, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheReverend

Go on.

I raise you a gif of crash re-enacting his failure in this thread.

TheReverend · 08-26-2009, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flex Gunmetal

I raise you a gif of crash re-enacting his failure in this thread.

Love that show.

But seriously, this article cannot be saved by anything.

Only one thing can save this thread from pages of circular arguing about months old topics...

THIS THREAD IS N0W AB0UT HAMSTERS

Punisher · 08-26-2009, 11:52 AM

Pontius Pirate · 08-26-2009, 12:24 PM

08-26-2009, 10:14 AM	#1
Peoples Champ Ring of Famer New to the Forum Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Orange County Posts: 3,100 Adopt-a-Bronco: Champ Bailey	Why your teams sucks: Chicago Bears edition I figured I would post this, in tribute to the Bears coming to Mile High this weekend. http://deadspin.com/5346047/why-your...-chicago-bears

08-26-2009, 10:15 AM	#2
TheElusiveKyleOrton www.dailydickpunch.com @RMoneyBadger Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Steamboat Springs Posts: 9,775 Adopt-a-Bronco: "Debo" Franklin	I was wondering when this would be posted. Prepare yourself for the "get over it!" shouts from the Cutler nuthuggers. __________________ Nobody puts Jay-bee in the corner.

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08-26-2009, 10:27 AM	#4
TonyR Franchise Poster Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Mid-Atlantic Posts: 15,568	I've said this about Cutler many, many times myself: He's also maddeningly inconsistent. For every brilliant performance Cutler gave last year, he turned in an equally turnoverriffic choke job, particularly during the Broncos' now infamous three-game losing streak to close out the 2008 season in which he tossed four interceptions and averaged a passer rating of 73.9. And that was when he had GOOD receivers to work with. And why am I just hearing the name "Frown Cannon" for the first time? I keep asking Fatsis to go on the record with tales of the Frown Cannon's legendary dickishness.

08-26-2009, 10:29 AM	#5
Rulon Velvet Jones You're not really here. Tight Butthole Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 6,597 Adopt-a-Bronco: Rent-A-DC	Cutler****er and Marmalard are Magary's nicknames for both Cutler and Rivers. They roll off the tongue quite well.

08-26-2009, 10:30 AM	#6
Irish Stout Ring of Famer Run for it Marty! Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Colorado Posts: 2,804 Adopt-a-Bronco: Wesley Woodyard	That was hilarious!

08-26-2009, 10:32 AM	#7
TheReverend www.PatrickTurley.org ^ buy this... twice Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Jacksonville, FL Posts: 32,990 Adopt-a-Bronco: Mike Shanahan	These two parts had me rolling: "Look, that was a fine team, even if they played in an era where someone like Mike Ditka could somehow manage to outcoach other people." "1. Jerry Angelo's draft record: 2005—Cedric Benson (1), Mark Bradley (2) (next pick was Kyle Orton in the 4th round—best draft ever?)"

08-26-2009, 10:34 AM	#8
Inkana7 Ring of Famer Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,231 Adopt-a-Bronco: Derek Wolfe	The Frown Cannon. That's awesome.

08-26-2009, 10:35 AM	#9
~Crash~ My new dog Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 6,600 Adopt-a-Bronco: Kuper	wow I was really impressed with the part that the o-line quit blocking for Cutler nice read ..... oh my blinders at full tilt... and the ****s really showed such nice journalism

08-26-2009, 11:52 AM	#23
Punisher ® You Tell The NFL! We're coming for That Belt! WOOOOO® Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Broncos Video Vault Posts: 6,628 Adopt-a-Bronco: i4jelway7

08-26-2009, 12:24 PM	#24
Pontius Pirate Tampons are for pussies Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: 'Nam Posts: 1,796