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Old 08-26-2009, 11:14 AM   #1
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Default Why your teams sucks: Chicago Bears edition

I figured I would post this, in tribute to the Bears coming to Mile High this weekend.

http://deadspin.com/5346047/why-your...-chicago-bears
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:15 AM   #2
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I was wondering when this would be posted.

Prepare yourself for the "get over it!" shouts from the Cutler nuthuggers.
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:19 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatOneDenverMooseGuy View Post
I was wondering when this would be posted.

Prepare yourself for the "get over it!" shouts from the Cutler nuthuggers.

Ya, this is about the Bears, I would do it to any team we are playing in the current football week.
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:27 AM   #4
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I've said this about Cutler many, many times myself:

He's also maddeningly inconsistent. For every brilliant performance Cutler gave last year, he turned in an equally turnoverriffic choke job, particularly during the Broncos' now infamous three-game losing streak to close out the 2008 season in which he tossed four interceptions and averaged a passer rating of 73.9. And that was when he had GOOD receivers to work with.

And why am I just hearing the name "Frown Cannon" for the first time?

I keep asking Fatsis to go on the record with tales of the Frown Cannon's legendary dickishness.
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:29 AM   #5
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Cutler****er and Marmalard are Magary's nicknames for both Cutler and Rivers. They roll off the tongue quite well.
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:30 AM   #6
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That was hilarious!
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:32 AM   #7
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These two parts had me rolling:

"Look, that was a fine team, even if they played in an era where someone like Mike Ditka could somehow manage to outcoach other people."

"1. Jerry Angelo's draft record:

2005—Cedric Benson (1), Mark Bradley (2) (next pick was Kyle Orton in the 4th round—best draft ever?)"
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:34 AM   #8
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The Frown Cannon. That's awesome.
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:35 AM   #9
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wow I was really impressed with the part that the o-line quit blocking for Cutler nice read ..... oh my blinders at full tilt... and the ****s really showed such nice journalism
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:36 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheReverend View Post
These two parts had me rolling:

"Look, that was a fine team, even if they played in an era where someone like Mike Ditka could somehow manage to outcoach other people."

"1. Jerry Angelo's draft record:

2005—Cedric Benson (1), Mark Bradley (2) (next pick was Kyle Orton in the 4th round—best draft ever?)"


I liked when he said that every time KC wins a game, they dont go saying, here comes the 69 Chiefs, just like Bears fans do with the 1985 bears.
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:44 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by ~Crash~ View Post
wow I was really impressed with the part that the o-line quit blocking for Cutler nice read ..... oh my blinders at full tilt... and the ****s really showed such nice journalism
Yeah journalism.... uhhh... thats not journalism and the author knows it. It is an editorial.
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:44 AM   #12
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Yeah journalism.... uhhh... thats not journalism and the author knows it. It is an editorial.

I would say more of a blog
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:48 AM   #13
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Jay Cutler is an emo-banged ********** who makes his teammates want to rape him with a rake.
When are we getting our sigs back??
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:52 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatOneDenverMooseGuy View Post
I was wondering when this would be posted.

Prepare yourself for the "get over it!" shouts from the Cutler nuthuggers.
I guess that is about the same as you being a McD Jizz Swallower. So how does it taste?
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Old 08-26-2009, 12:03 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Crash~ View Post
wow I was really impressed with the part that the o-line quit blocking for Cutler nice read ..... oh my blinders at full tilt... and the ****s really showed such nice journalism
Good point, clown!
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Old 08-26-2009, 12:16 PM   #16
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Good point, clown!
Oh, hi. How are you?
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Old 08-26-2009, 12:18 PM   #17
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Oh, hi. How are you?
So hot right now.
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Old 08-26-2009, 12:22 PM   #18
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So hot right now.
Go on.





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Old 08-26-2009, 12:24 PM   #19
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Quote:
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I guess that is about the same as you being a McD Jizz Swallower. So how does it taste?
You're right. It must be swallowing jizz to actually wait until the season starts to begin calling for his head. How silly of me!

thanks for clearing that up, Atlas. Don't know what we'd do without your guidance in such important matters. /rolleyes
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Old 08-26-2009, 12:40 PM   #20
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**** that noise. Let's lay it bare. Jay Cutler is an emo-banged ********** who makes his teammates want to rape him with a rake. You don't have to like your QB to win a championship. But you do have to actively not want to stop blocking for him so that he'll get a massive spinal cord injury and then be airlifted back to Indiana and left for dead. That's key.
Dude has some anger issues... Funny... but if I was his kids/wife/man friend, I'd sleep with one eye open.
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Old 08-26-2009, 12:41 PM   #21
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Go on.





I raise you a gif of crash re-enacting his failure in this thread.
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Old 08-26-2009, 12:44 PM   #22
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I raise you a gif of crash re-enacting his failure in this thread.
Love that show.

But seriously, this article cannot be saved by anything.

Only one thing can save this thread from pages of circular arguing about months old topics...

THIS THREAD IS N0W AB0UT HAMSTERS



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Old 08-26-2009, 12:52 PM   #23
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Old 08-26-2009, 01:24 PM   #24
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