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Old 05-30-2009, 09:02 PM   #1
Mogulseeker
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I arrived in Denver last Thursday. For good this time. It should be obvious where I've been the last 5 years - I talked about it enough.

It's weird how the Mane can feel like family. Also weird how after spending 5 years out of Denver, I still refer back to the Mane from time to time. It's taking a while for Denver to feel like home. I still called Denver home when I lived in DC and Jacksonville... but the last two years in Boston have been particularly great.

Before I got out, I spent a day reviewing old posts and I can tell why I received PM's from people like Mock and Meck about how I've really grown up. One of the things that has changed is my approach. When I first joined I was extremely proud of my job. I still am, but from a quieter, more individual perspective. I hate being affiliated with some of the people I worked with in the service.

My point is, I was young and stupid when I fist came on here. I still am. I'm more outgoing and my tendencies of narcissism are fairly well contained now. I'm ready to be a human being again.

That said, I tried to hold on to my Broncos tickets for as long as I could. They had been in the family since my grandmother got them the Broncos inaugural year. I held on to them for two years, but when my ship deployed in support of operation Iraqi Freedom, I couldn't afford to keep them. Now, three years later I called the Broncos about getting more tickets, but I'm wait-listed, probably for several decades. Point being, I probably still won’t be tailgating with you guys like I used to.

Nevertheless, I have mixed feelings about being back in Denver. It's weird how you plant your roots somewhere, and it's hard to leave. This is the case with Boston. I was always an extrovert trapped inside an introvert. I really came alive in Boston – meeting new people, hitting on girls, and just chilling.

Without going into a self-centered rant, I will say that I have learned an incredible amount these last 5 years. Aside from completing over two years worth of college at Southern New Hampshire University, I think my biggest gain was learning how to deal with people. I’ve realized that everybody really wants the same things in life. That people aren’t judging you. That if you don’t stand up for yourself and others, people will trample all over you.

I left Maine May 21 for Boston, stayed a week. Went Boston to Cleveland for a night. Cleveland to Ames, Iowa. Ames to Kansas City, then finally KC to home.

I am now enrolled at the University of Denver's Korbel School. I received an academic scholarship (GI Bill will cover the rest) to study international politics, culture, and law on their 4-1 program (double major in International Studies/Political Science, starting my MA in IS my senior year).

I’m leaving my options open.

Generally, my tone here has been disconcerting and narcissistic at times. I even got myself into some trouble with my HS football team after some things I said about several Broncos players who would come to our practice (Kevin Kasper, Eric Brown, Denard Walker, and Darius Clark all lived in my neighborhood growing up).

I talked a lot about myself. To set the record straight: I intended to go out for the Seals, but after the first few weeks of boot camp, I realized that there was no way I would ever survive that.

Although I am a pretty good hockey player, the comments I would occasionally make about ‘walking on’ at DU were just a product of me knowing nothing about the DU program… although I’ll probably be playing plenty of games at Magness Arena (DU intramural), they wont be in a Pioneers uniform.

The thread about my friend Kenny and I working out at the Golden Rec Center, and him playing the race card (not letting us use the gym because he was black) was overblown by myself and absolutely uncalled for. We were not allowed to use the gym in Golden because he was 14, not because of his race. I was 15, and I guess I was just trying to be cool – he was really the first black dude I knew.

The drunk thread I started (something like “Horay Alcohal”) was just me fooling around. On the base in Jacksonville, their cyber café is right next to the enlisted cub - the one that never carded (I was 19). I had nothing to do those days but drink and surf the net at that club… I think it was called ‘Castaways’. Looking back, I’m kinda of amazed I received an honorable discharge… I did enough while in the military to get kicked out, I just never got caught. I think we all did, actually.

My ‘atheist’ faze was really me being pissed off at all the fun I missed out on because of my evangelical upbringing. I’m quite sociable now, and have no problem meeting friends. I haven’t always been that way… growing up I always felt like the outsider, not knowing the pop culture references in front of me and whatnot. I have to say I’m still fed up with the whole religion thing. I try to go to church, but I really don’t care anymore.

I like to think my takes are stronger now.

I don’t know why I’m posting this. I hope I haven’t rubbed anyone here the wrong way. I really am trying hard to get all the pieces together. Back in Denver. I’m home.

Last edited by Mogulseeker; 05-30-2009 at 11:05 PM..
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Old 05-30-2009, 09:04 PM   #2
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PS – the trip really did a number on my 2003 VW Passat…. Anyone know any good, honest, inexpensive German mechanics in the Denver-metro area? Preferably in Littleton/Southwest or the University Hills Neighborhood….
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Old 05-30-2009, 09:07 PM   #3
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Welcome back man. Didnt need your life according to Cybil though...HAHAHAHA



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Old 05-30-2009, 09:10 PM   #4
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So are you trying to tell us you slung a lot of bull**** and tall tales?
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Old 05-30-2009, 09:22 PM   #5
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Sounds like you're apologizing for being a useless little prick the past 5 years. Guess what, nobody cares about an apology or what was going through your head at the time you were being a dick... Personally speaking, I do care that you seemed to learn from your mistakes, so congratulations. Welcome back to Denver. And, good luck finishing school and finding your way to fame and fortune.

btw, being away from your "home town" to go away for a few years (5 for you) and then coming back is always a bit of a struggle. Your friends are either still doing the same old shiat that you were ready to get away from, or have moved on and really don't have time for you like they used to. That's called life bro. It was the same way for me when I returned to Houston, TX after 4 years in the AF. My buddies were either just starting their careers after graduating college (and mostly moved away from Houston) or smoking dope, working a 10 hour a day job for $10 an hour that didn't have drug tests. It took a little while to adjust. Hell, Denver doesn't quite feel like home yet... but I think the economy has a little to do with that... that and the friggin price of utilities around here. Flippin $500-700 a month. That was my Mortgage in Texas.

Anyhow, keep your head up and don't be surprised to move around a time or two before you get comfortable. Chances are you'll end up somewhere close by that will allow you to enjoy what you like about Denver but not deal with your dislikes. Oh, and get to the VA and start your claims now. It will be a year or two before they're processed anyhow. VocRehab would be nice for you right about now.
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Old 05-30-2009, 10:06 PM   #6
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That's actually a really cool post. Allow me to wax philosophical for a moment here. I think the stage you went through is normal. From 2001 - 2004 I got really into politics and was a sort of Republican version of LABF. I saw the world in absolutes and liked arguing with left-wing people and calling them names. I began to notice that all my harping and carrying on didn't make me feel any better and only made people think I was an a-hole. Technically, I was. I also realized there is a lot more gray area in the world and when I'm not so worried about being angry at people not agreeing with me that if given the chance I could see where people were coming from and respect and reverence their world view in all facets (religion, politics, spirituality, learning) and it didn't take anything away from my own. I still believe in some things strongly, but I've softened on others and I think I'm better for it.

A few days ago my wife came home from work and started really getting on my case about some things. I kind of of shut down because I could only see my own hurt feelings at being attacked and blew her off. She came into the family room later get a drink and she was crying. I went in to talk to her and she asked me to hold her and explained how upset she was about certain things. She feels like I'm one of the few people she can let her emotions out to and that's why she reacted the way she did. I realized she was hurting and just wanted someone to talk to but wasn't good at dealing with it. I was too hurt to see and my own pride prevented the connection from happening. It was one of those moments where I'm reminded that when we look outside of ourselves and try and really connect with people that we can really help each other.

Your post here reminded me of each of those moments we get to when we go "oh! I get it!" and we get a little wiser and are able to increase our capacity to love. Very cool.
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Old 05-30-2009, 10:12 PM   #7
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Ironically enough omane weekend is Cleveland this year. It was about 5 years ago that we organized the first official Omane tailgate. If I'm not mistaken you were there. Welcome back.

Last edited by Meck77; 05-30-2009 at 10:14 PM..
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Old 05-31-2009, 11:48 AM   #8
Mogulseeker
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OSKIE!!! View Post
Sounds like you're apologizing for being a useless little prick the past 5 years. Guess what, nobody cares about an apology or what was going through your head at the time you were being a dick... Personally speaking, I do care that you seemed to learn from your mistakes, so congratulations. Welcome back to Denver. And, good luck finishing school and finding your way to fame and fortune.

btw, being away from your "home town" to go away for a few years (5 for you) and then coming back is always a bit of a struggle. Your friends are either still doing the same old shiat that you were ready to get away from, or have moved on and really don't have time for you like they used to. That's called life bro. It was the same way for me when I returned to Houston, TX after 4 years in the AF. My buddies were either just starting their careers after graduating college (and mostly moved away from Houston) or smoking dope, working a 10 hour a day job for $10 an hour that didn't have drug tests. It took a little while to adjust. Hell, Denver doesn't quite feel like home yet... but I think the economy has a little to do with that... that and the friggin price of utilities around here. Flippin $500-700 a month. That was my Mortgage in Texas.

Anyhow, keep your head up and don't be surprised to move around a time or two before you get comfortable. Chances are you'll end up somewhere close by that will allow you to enjoy what you like about Denver but not deal with your dislikes. Oh, and get to the VA and start your claims now. It will be a year or two before they're processed anyhow. VocRehab would be nice for you right about now.
Nah... not apologizing. I was a kid when I first got on here and I did kid things. I'm still a little immature but I have 3 years of college and grad school to sort that out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaylore View Post
That's actually a really cool post. Allow me to wax philosophical for a moment here. I think the stage you went through is normal. From 2001 - 2004 I got really into politics and was a sort of Republican version of LABF. I saw the world in absolutes and liked arguing with left-wing people and calling them names. I began to notice that all my harping and carrying on didn't make me feel any better and only made people think I was an a-hole. Technically, I was. I also realized there is a lot more gray area in the world and when I'm not so worried about being angry at people not agreeing with me that if given the chance I could see where people were coming from and respect and reverence their world view in all facets (religion, politics, spirituality, learning) and it didn't take anything away from my own. I still believe in some things strongly, but I've softened on others and I think I'm better for it.

A few days ago my wife came home from work and started really getting on my case about some things. I kind of of shut down because I could only see my own hurt feelings at being attacked and blew her off. She came into the family room later get a drink and she was crying. I went in to talk to her and she asked me to hold her and explained how upset she was about certain things. She feels like I'm one of the few people she can let her emotions out to and that's why she reacted the way she did. I realized she was hurting and just wanted someone to talk to but wasn't good at dealing with it. I was too hurt to see and my own pride prevented the connection from happening. It was one of those moments where I'm reminded that when we look outside of ourselves and try and really connect with people that we can really help each other.

Your post here reminded me of each of those moments we get to when we go "oh! I get it!" and we get a little wiser and are able to increase our capacity to love. Very cool.
Thanks, Kaylore. This is a strong take. I used to be pretty hard left. The military has brought me more towards the center.


It takes empathy to see the virtue in other peoples arguments.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Meck77 View Post
Ironically enough omane weekend is Cleveland this year. It was about 5 years ago that we organized the first official Omane tailgate. If I'm not mistaken you were there. Welcome back.
I was there... I'm searching for season tickets again since I had to give up my old ones when our unit went out. If I can get my hands on some tickets again, Ill be there again.

However, The University of Denver, even with my GI Bill and academic scholarship, is going to makes things pretty tight for me the next couple of years.

PS – the trip really did a number on my 2003 VW Passat…. Anyone know any good, honest, inexpensive German mechanics in the Denver-metro area? Preferably in Littleton/Southwest or the University Hills Neighborhood….
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Old 05-31-2009, 02:44 PM   #9
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Welcome back . You sound like a different person.
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