Would you rather have Zombie Jonny Unitas or Jay Cutler? - The Orange Mane

Pontius Pirate · 03-11-2009, 11:45 AM

Just hypothetically, say a rampant outbreak of zombie-ism broke out in the U.S. and Jonny Unitas rose from the dead and wanted to play quarterback for the Broncos. Would you trade Jay Cutler to the Colts for the rights to Zombie Jonny U? Keep in mind the following pros / cons:

Pros:
-Zombie Jonny U. doesn't care about trade talks
-Zombie Jonny U. can withstand bone-crushing sacks
-Zombie Jonny U. will do whatever you tell him
-Zombie Jonny U. still has a rocket-arm

Cons:
-Zombie Jonny U. needs a steady diet of brains
-Zombie Jonny U. has occasional trouble with body parts falling off
-Zombie Jonny U. will take everything literally. If coach says, "Now get out there and kick some ass!"...Zombie Jonny U. will literally start killing people
-Zombie Jonny U. can't moderate his delivery velocity

Rabb · 03-11-2009, 11:46 AM

I would split Zombie U's skull with a Machete before he infected me

lex · 03-11-2009, 11:46 AM

Michael Vick, Zombie Johnie Unitas...WTH?

listopencil · 03-11-2009, 11:47 AM

I need an accurate prediction of zombie Johnny Unitas' interception rate first.

Rohirrim · 03-11-2009, 11:48 AM

Will Johhny U still be wearing those funny shoes?

vancejohnson82 · 03-11-2009, 11:48 AM

well, if he needs a steady diet of brains, at least we know Marshall isn't in any danger

listopencil · 03-11-2009, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rabbmasterflash

I would split Zombie U's skull with a Machete before he infected me

Zombie-ism could be a locker room cancer.

ak1971 · 03-11-2009, 11:49 AM

Does he get hammered and date Playboy playmates?

SonOfLe-loLang · 03-11-2009, 11:49 AM

I'd rather have the zombie Johnny's zombie mom.

BroncoDoug · 03-11-2009, 11:50 AM

Zombie Unitas? really? has it really gone to this level?

on that note gimme Unitas...

Kaylore · 03-11-2009, 11:53 AM

Only if we don't have to play against Chris Redfield.

bronco militia · 03-11-2009, 11:56 AM

HorseHead · 03-11-2009, 11:57 AM

Does Zombie Unitas still wear those High Tops? And is he still rockin' that buzz/fade cut?...if he is, i'm with Team Zombie...and Team Anniston

TheReverend · 03-11-2009, 12:04 PM

Now THIS is a thread!

Pontius Pirate · 03-11-2009, 12:04 PM

UPDATE:

Pros:
-Zombie Jonny U. never gets in off-field trouble when it comes to booze, driving, drugs, or sex
-Zombie Jonny U. is still incredibly accurate
-Zombie Jonny U. never needs to be paid in anything other than brains or blood (preferably human, but he will also accept monkey brains)

Cons:
-Zombie Jonny U. will murder people if not kept in a cage during the off-season
-Zombie Jonny U. will throw an interception unless coach is CRYSTAL clear that you have to throw it to the open BRONCO
-Zombie Jonny U. will cause a PR nightmare if people found out we were feeding him human and monkey cadavers

Also, Zombie Jonny U. is pretty pathetic when it comes to press day.

Rohirrim · 03-11-2009, 12:13 PM

I want zombie Matuszak and zombie Alzado.

Pontius Pirate · 03-11-2009, 12:20 PM

"The Philadelphia Daily News wrote an article in 2003 announcing Johnny Unitas' 70th birthday. Of course, Unitas had been deceased since the previous year. After realizing the mistake, the newspaper ran a correction stating: "Johnny Unitas remains dead and did not celebrate his 70th birthday."

Or did he?!?!

Pontius Pirate · 03-11-2009, 04:59 PM

ghwk · 03-11-2009, 08:48 PM

Someone has been playing too much Left 4 Dead.

Bronco Bob · 03-11-2009, 09:35 PM

Can we clone John Elway instead? Better yet, make three clones.
One for starter, one as back-up, and one as third stringer.

FireFly · 03-11-2009, 10:17 PM

I'd take the zombie in a second!

fdf · 03-11-2009, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pontius Pirate

Just hypothetically, say a rampant outbreak of zombie-ism broke out in the U.S. and Jonny Unitas rose from the dead and wanted to play quarterback for the Broncos. Would you trade Jay Cutler to the Colts for the rights to Zombie Jonny U? Keep in mind the following pros / cons:

Pros:
-Zombie Jonny U. doesn't care about trade talks
-Zombie Jonny U. can withstand bone-crushing sacks
-Zombie Jonny U. will do whatever you tell him
-Zombie Jonny U. still has a rocket-arm

Cons:
-Zombie Jonny U. needs a steady diet of brains
-Zombie Jonny U. has occasional trouble with body parts falling off
-Zombie Jonny U. will take everything literally. If coach says, "Now get out there and kick some ass!"...Zombie Jonny U. will literally start killing people
-Zombie Jonny U. can't moderate his delivery velocity

In a second. Unitas was one of the all-time greats. Cutler has a long way to go. For the younger folks, this question is like asking if you would trade Cutler for Elway straight up or Cutler for Montana straight up or Cutler for Peyton Manning straight up. Duh.

broncocalijohn · 03-11-2009, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vancejohnson82

well, if he needs a steady diet of brains, at least we know Marshall isn't in any danger

That is one great post.

03-11-2009, 11:45 AM	#1
Pontius Pirate Tampons are for pussies Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: 'Nam Posts: 1,796	Would you rather have Zombie Jonny Unitas or Jay Cutler? Just hypothetically, say a rampant outbreak of zombie-ism broke out in the U.S. and Jonny Unitas rose from the dead and wanted to play quarterback for the Broncos. Would you trade Jay Cutler to the Colts for the rights to Zombie Jonny U? Keep in mind the following pros / cons: Pros: -Zombie Jonny U. doesn't care about trade talks -Zombie Jonny U. can withstand bone-crushing sacks -Zombie Jonny U. will do whatever you tell him -Zombie Jonny U. still has a rocket-arm Cons: -Zombie Jonny U. needs a steady diet of brains -Zombie Jonny U. has occasional trouble with body parts falling off -Zombie Jonny U. will take everything literally. If coach says, "Now get out there and kick some ass!"...Zombie Jonny U. will literally start killing people -Zombie Jonny U. can't moderate his delivery velocity

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

03-11-2009, 11:46 AM	#2
Rabb Zombie Slayer Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 5,312 Adopt-a-Bronco: Von Miller	I would split Zombie U's skull with a Machete before he infected me

03-11-2009, 11:46 AM	#3
lex Bowlen Sold Us Out! The Broncos have been DisemBowlened Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Chi-Town Posts: 10,253 Adopt-a-Bronco: None	Michael Vick, Zombie Johnie Unitas...WTH?

03-11-2009, 11:47 AM	#4
listopencil [sarcasm]text[/sarcasm] BOOM! Winner. Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: The People's Republic Of California Posts: 8,580 Adopt-a-Bronco: Broncos FO	I need an accurate prediction of zombie Johnny Unitas' interception rate first.

03-11-2009, 11:48 AM	#5
Rohirrim Partisan Human Cannonball Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Twixt Hell & Highwater Posts: 49,113	Will Johhny U still be wearing those funny shoes?

03-11-2009, 11:48 AM	#6
vancejohnson82 Drama and Mediocrity I'm Afraid of Ty Law Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Newark, NJ Posts: 5,994 Adopt-a-Bronco: DJ	well, if he needs a steady diet of brains, at least we know Marshall isn't in any danger

03-11-2009, 11:49 AM	#8
ak1971 uhhhh Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 5,550	Does he get hammered and date Playboy playmates?

03-11-2009, 11:49 AM	#9
SonOfLe-loLang Young Buck Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 13,434 Adopt-a-Bronco: Thunder (RIP)	I'd rather have the zombie Johnny's zombie mom.

03-11-2009, 11:50 AM	#10
BroncoDoug Ring of Famer R.I.P. D-Will and D-Nash Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Moline, IL Posts: 2,768 Adopt-a-Bronco: Von Miller	Zombie Unitas? really? has it really gone to this level? on that note gimme Unitas...

03-11-2009, 11:53 AM	#11
Kaylore 6-37, Raider fans. Yummy birds and snow! Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Ceti Alpha V Posts: 41,343 Adopt-a-Bronco: Wesley Duke	Only if we don't have to play against Chris Redfield.

03-11-2009, 11:56 AM	#12
bronco militia Ring of Famer THE GREATEST Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: colorado springs, co Posts: 22,716

03-11-2009, 12:04 PM	#14
TheReverend www.PatrickTurley.org ^ "not an athlete" Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Jacksonville, FL Posts: 33,356 Adopt-a-Bronco: Mike Shanahan	Now THIS is a thread!

03-11-2009, 11:57 AM	#13
HorseHead Ring of Famer Stay thirsty my friends.. Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Vermont Posts: 1,212 Adopt-a-Bronco: Bay Bay	Does Zombie Unitas still wear those High Tops? And is he still rockin' that buzz/fade cut?...if he is, i'm with Team Zombie...and Team Anniston

03-11-2009, 12:13 PM	#16
Rohirrim Partisan Human Cannonball Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Twixt Hell & Highwater Posts: 49,113	I want zombie Matuszak and zombie Alzado.

03-11-2009, 12:20 PM	#17
Pontius Pirate Tampons are for pussies Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: 'Nam Posts: 1,796	"The Philadelphia Daily News wrote an article in 2003 announcing Johnny Unitas' 70th birthday. Of course, Unitas had been deceased since the previous year. After realizing the mistake, the newspaper ran a correction stating: "Johnny Unitas remains dead and did not celebrate his 70th birthday." Or did he?!?!

03-11-2009, 04:59 PM	#18
Pontius Pirate Tampons are for pussies Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: 'Nam Posts: 1,796

03-11-2009, 08:48 PM	#19
ghwk Ring of Famer DOOM BOOM! Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 3,916 Adopt-a-Bronco: Von Doomacus	Someone has been playing too much Left 4 Dead.

03-11-2009, 09:35 PM	#20
Bronco Bob Tastee Freeze Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 9,464 Adopt-a-Bronco: Champ Bailey	Can we clone John Elway instead? Better yet, make three clones. One for starter, one as back-up, and one as third stringer.

03-11-2009, 10:17 PM	#21
FireFly Ring of Famer The window is open! Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 1,696	I'd take the zombie in a second!