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Old 03-11-2009, 11:45 AM   #1
Pontius Pirate
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Default Would you rather have Zombie Jonny Unitas or Jay Cutler?

Just hypothetically, say a rampant outbreak of zombie-ism broke out in the U.S. and Jonny Unitas rose from the dead and wanted to play quarterback for the Broncos. Would you trade Jay Cutler to the Colts for the rights to Zombie Jonny U? Keep in mind the following pros / cons:

Pros:
-Zombie Jonny U. doesn't care about trade talks
-Zombie Jonny U. can withstand bone-crushing sacks
-Zombie Jonny U. will do whatever you tell him
-Zombie Jonny U. still has a rocket-arm

Cons:
-Zombie Jonny U. needs a steady diet of brains
-Zombie Jonny U. has occasional trouble with body parts falling off
-Zombie Jonny U. will take everything literally. If coach says, "Now get out there and kick some ass!"...Zombie Jonny U. will literally start killing people
-Zombie Jonny U. can't moderate his delivery velocity
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:46 AM   #2
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I would split Zombie U's skull with a Machete before he infected me
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:46 AM   #3
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Michael Vick, Zombie Johnie Unitas...WTH?
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:47 AM   #4
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I need an accurate prediction of zombie Johnny Unitas' interception rate first.
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:48 AM   #5
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Will Johhny U still be wearing those funny shoes?
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:48 AM   #6
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well, if he needs a steady diet of brains, at least we know Marshall isn't in any danger
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:48 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rabbmasterflash View Post
I would split Zombie U's skull with a Machete before he infected me
Zombie-ism could be a locker room cancer.
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:49 AM   #8
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Does he get hammered and date Playboy playmates?
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:49 AM   #9
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I'd rather have the zombie Johnny's zombie mom.
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:50 AM   #10
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Zombie Unitas? really? has it really gone to this level?


on that note gimme Unitas...
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:53 AM   #11
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Only if we don't have to play against Chris Redfield.
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:56 AM   #12
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:57 AM   #13
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Does Zombie Unitas still wear those High Tops? And is he still rockin' that buzz/fade cut?...if he is, i'm with Team Zombie...and Team Anniston
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Old 03-11-2009, 12:04 PM   #14
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Now THIS is a thread!
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Old 03-11-2009, 12:04 PM   #15
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UPDATE:

Pros:
-Zombie Jonny U. never gets in off-field trouble when it comes to booze, driving, drugs, or sex
-Zombie Jonny U. is still incredibly accurate
-Zombie Jonny U. never needs to be paid in anything other than brains or blood (preferably human, but he will also accept monkey brains)

Cons:
-Zombie Jonny U. will murder people if not kept in a cage during the off-season
-Zombie Jonny U. will throw an interception unless coach is CRYSTAL clear that you have to throw it to the open BRONCO
-Zombie Jonny U. will cause a PR nightmare if people found out we were feeding him human and monkey cadavers

Also, Zombie Jonny U. is pretty pathetic when it comes to press day.
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Old 03-11-2009, 12:13 PM   #16
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I want zombie Matuszak and zombie Alzado.
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Old 03-11-2009, 12:20 PM   #17
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"The Philadelphia Daily News wrote an article in 2003 announcing Johnny Unitas' 70th birthday. Of course, Unitas had been deceased since the previous year. After realizing the mistake, the newspaper ran a correction stating: "Johnny Unitas remains dead and did not celebrate his 70th birthday."

Or did he?!?!
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Old 03-11-2009, 04:59 PM   #18
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Old 03-11-2009, 08:48 PM   #19
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Someone has been playing too much Left 4 Dead.
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Old 03-11-2009, 09:35 PM   #20
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Can we clone John Elway instead? Better yet, make three clones.
One for starter, one as back-up, and one as third stringer.
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Old 03-11-2009, 10:17 PM   #21
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I'd take the zombie in a second!
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Old 03-11-2009, 10:45 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pontius Pirate View Post
Just hypothetically, say a rampant outbreak of zombie-ism broke out in the U.S. and Jonny Unitas rose from the dead and wanted to play quarterback for the Broncos. Would you trade Jay Cutler to the Colts for the rights to Zombie Jonny U? Keep in mind the following pros / cons:

Pros:
-Zombie Jonny U. doesn't care about trade talks
-Zombie Jonny U. can withstand bone-crushing sacks
-Zombie Jonny U. will do whatever you tell him
-Zombie Jonny U. still has a rocket-arm

Cons:
-Zombie Jonny U. needs a steady diet of brains
-Zombie Jonny U. has occasional trouble with body parts falling off
-Zombie Jonny U. will take everything literally. If coach says, "Now get out there and kick some ass!"...Zombie Jonny U. will literally start killing people
-Zombie Jonny U. can't moderate his delivery velocity
In a second. Unitas was one of the all-time greats. Cutler has a long way to go. For the younger folks, this question is like asking if you would trade Cutler for Elway straight up or Cutler for Montana straight up or Cutler for Peyton Manning straight up. Duh.
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Old 03-11-2009, 10:59 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vancejohnson82 View Post
well, if he needs a steady diet of brains, at least we know Marshall isn't in any danger
That is one great post.
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