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Old 02-24-2009, 12:38 PM   #1
bronco militia
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Default 25 Random Things About Me: Bill Belichick

1. The only porn that does it for me is a good rape scene. And Iím not talking about that staged bull****. The Belicock demands real tears.

2. I was the captain of the Wesleyan Lacrosse team, but you probably could have surmised as much.

3. I am an even bigger douchebag than you can begin to imagine. Number 2 on this list is just the tip of the iceberg.

4. I have developed four new methods to properly skin a cat. The hard part is keeping them alive.

5. Art Modell stole my idea to move the Browns.

6. I keep the clippings from every haircut Iíve ever had at a storage facility in New Jersey.

7. Iím pen-pals with Kim Jong-il. Good guy. Misunderstood.

8. Grumble.

9. I hired private investigators to follow every prospect we scout for the NFL Draft.

10. Plus I have a mole in every other teamís war room.

11. Scott Pioli is a figment of my imagination.

12. Never bought American Apparel hoodies. I want the soft touch only child labor can provide.

13. Bobby Knight is a ****ing p***Y.

14. I once fired an assistant coach for showing up to the practice facility wearing the very same sweatshirt I had briefly considered wearing.

15. I always piss clear.

16. And i always **** green.

17. Iím giving up two things for Lent this year. Carbs and forced sodomy.

18. I induced Tedy Bruschiís stroke as a team-building exercise. He seemed cool with it.

19. My second toes were longer than my big toes so I ground them down to fall in line.

20. I have a cat named Bonkers whose life I value more than any human in my life.

21. Yes, I skinned Bonkers.

22. I fashioned a crude ushanka out of his pelt.

23. While you were reading this I was ****ing your wife in your bed.

24. You need new sheets.

25. And a new bed.

http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/...belichick.html
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Old 02-24-2009, 12:43 PM   #2
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I know what happened to the marijuana that didn't make its way onto Fabolous' tour bus.

Can I have my 45 seconds back?
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Old 02-24-2009, 01:01 PM   #3
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obviously you've don't visit ksk
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Old 02-24-2009, 01:06 PM   #4
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That's just like your opinion, man

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Damn! who is this hot ass older lady he is with. And how he is keeping his eyes up, and not on the sweater puppets is amazing.

Last edited by BroncoMan4ever; 10-18-2013 at 06:58 PM..
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Old 02-24-2009, 01:18 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by BroncoMan4ever View Post
Damn! who is this hot ass older lady he is with. And how he is keeping his eyes up, and not on the sweater puppets is amazing.
Her name is Melissa Faketitts.
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Old 02-24-2009, 01:23 PM   #6
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Her name is Melissa Faketitts.
I bet she's related to Anabell "Big ol Fake boobies" Bowlen
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Old 02-24-2009, 01:25 PM   #7
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Quote:
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Her name is Melissa Faketitts.
What makes you think they're fake? They look legit.
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Old 02-24-2009, 02:07 PM   #8
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What makes you think they're fake? They look legit.
Because 'The Belicock' don't like saggy flap jacks.
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Old 02-24-2009, 02:40 PM   #9
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Quote:
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What makes you think they're fake? They look legit.
Yeah, about as legit as her nose and hair color.
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Old 02-24-2009, 02:43 PM   #10
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Because 'The Belicock' don't like saggy flap jacks.
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Old 02-24-2009, 02:48 PM   #11
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Because 'The Belicock' don't like saggy flap jacks.
Even if they were saggy, he would just motivate them into pertness.
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Old 02-24-2009, 02:50 PM   #12
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We can probably find out for sure. He's gotta have video tape of them somewhere.

Last edited by bowtown; 02-24-2009 at 03:20 PM..
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Old 02-24-2009, 03:15 PM   #13
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you people are funny
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