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Old 01-30-2009, 11:54 AM   #1
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Default Top 50 worst announcers

Admit it. As you've sat around watching a ballgame and heard yet another announcer try to shoehorn yet another awkward phrase into the game, you've wondered, how hard could announcing be? Sitting around talking sports for four hours? That's easy! Heck, we do that all the time at the wing joint for free!

Announcing is indeed easy to do, but extraordinarily hard to do well. You're broadcasting to an audience of millions, and you have to be both prepared and quick on your feet. The best sports announcers are storytellers, knowledgeable enough to add the perfect note to on-field action but also wise enough to know when to shut up and let the game do the talking. Guys like Vin Scully, Al Michaels and Keith Jackson are so good that you'll tune into a meaningless midseason game just to hear their voices. Yahoo! Sports has documented the top 50 of all time right here.

But then there are ... the other guys. Guys (and ladies, let's not be sexist) who seem to forget that we're not tuning in to the Super Bowl or the World Series to hear their voices. Guys who lose all perspective and decide it's their place to lecture us. Guys who use the ballgames as their personal soapboxes and slogan testing grounds. Guys who make you glad there's a mute button. Guys who, unfortunately, stand like snide bouncers to block our access to the greatest games in sports.

Now, let's be clear; we're not talking about announcers who simply lose track of the situation or horribly mispronounce athletes' names. No, we're focusing on the announcers whose entire public persona makes us want to kick a hole in our HDs. Deep breath, people, as we call out the culprits:

1. Billy Packer: The man who annually managed to turn the most exciting three weeks in sports, the NCAA tournament, into a visit to your cranky grandfather's house. Griped and moaned about everything from women in sports to mid-major invitations (this, just before George Mason reached the Final Four). All credit goes to coaches; all blame goes to players. Thankfully put out to pasture with Bobby Knight. Boy, there's a joyful combo, huh?

2. Chris Berman: The first of the truly cartoonish sports announcers, and still the worst. Has completely lost sight of the fact that he's the mouthpiece, not the attraction. His nicknaming habit, his "back-back-back," his chummy "look! I'm hanging with jocks!" repartee on set -- it all went stale in the ‘90s, and yet he still trots it out, week after numbing week. Go, Berman, and take Leather with you.

3. Joe Morgan: Stubbornly refuses to admit that there's anything to the game of baseball more important than "heart." Laughs off statistics as irrelevant. Still carries grudges from his playing days. Like Bill Walton and other ex-jocks, views every player in comparison to his era -- and strangely enough, nobody ever comes close. Inspired one of the great sports blogs of this decade, but has unfortunately outlasted it.

4. Tony Kornheiser: His schtick is that he's a regular joe in the booth there with Mike Tirico and Ron "Na-tion-al Foot-ball Leeeeague" Jaworski. And that schtick, frankly, stinks. I could hear schlubs talking about, say, how well their fantasy teams are doing if I go to the local sports bar. I like "Monday Night Football" when there's a real possibility the announcers might get into an on-air fistfight, and I can't see that ever happening -- or lasting very long -- when Kornheiser's involved.

5. Dick Vitale: A cartoon character, but less credible -- and more annoying -- than Spongebob Squarepants. Never saw a recruiting violation he couldn't ignore. Shameless Duke homer; the evidence is indisputable.


6. Bill Walton: Alternates between gooey praises of his era and unhinged criticism ("That's HOOOORRIBLE") of anyone who doesn't, in his mind, measure up to Magic and Bird -- in other words, everybody. Carries a lot of bitterness around for an ex-hippie Deadhead.

7. Mike Patrick: A hyperbolic announcer who occasionally veers from praising or burying a team -- there's no middle ground -- to veer off on an unconnected rant. The most famous of these, of course, is his absentminded musing on Britney Spears during overtime of a Georgia-Alabama game. Tip for you, Mike: when even the dog can tell you've written your "off-the-cuff" one-liners days before, it's time to switch up your flow.

8. Tim McCarver: This is an entry on a list about the worst announcers in sports. See, when you're making a list, you break it down into different categories and put spaces between the entries, so people can tell it's a list. Like this entry about Tim McCarver, Fox baseball analyst. McCarver analyzes baseball for Fox. And while he's analyzing baseball for the Fox network, he offers stunning behind-the-scenes insight, just like you're getting in this entry here. Which is part of a larger list.

9. Joe Buck: Alternating between dull and sanctimonious, Buck is a crotchety curmudgeon trapped in a younger man's body. When he's not draining the life out of the greatest moments in modern sports, he's lecturing us on the sad state of the NFL. Summed up in this fine moment of offense at Randy Moss:




10. Bob Costas, post-2000: A once-brilliant announcer who has devolved into caricature. Like Buck and the tweedy Bryant Gumbel, apparently sees it has his sworn duty to protect the sanctity of sport from the filthy tide of 21st century progress -- including, you know, those nasty sports blogs. One of those announcers who would love sports so much more if there were no unruly fans, surly athletes or double-dealing owners to muck it all up.

And the rest of the bunch:

11. Stuart Scott: Tired as this side of the pillow.
12. Tony Siragusa: A burly, sweaty, mouthy ex-jock? Why, who wouldn't want to hear from him?
13. Gus Johnson: Only when he's screaming five minutes into an ordinary game.
14. Paul Maguire: Always sounds like he's about to ask you to buy the next round, and he'll "get ya back next time."
15. Stephen A. Smith: Wants so, so badly to be the story, not cover it.
16. Troy Aikman: Like Robin Williams, you don't notice until later that he didn't actually say anything.
17. John Sterling Catch-phrases flop to the ground like beached marlin; "Thaaaaaa Yankees win!" is the worst victory cry ever.
18. Thom Brennaman Loves him some Tebow.
19. John Madden Only when he's in worship-Favre mode.
20. Emmitt Smith: Is thoroughly masticated to receive this honor.
21. Johnny Miller
22. Lee Corso
23. Jim Gray
24. Merril Hoge
25. Digger Phelps
26. Tiki Barber
27. Darren Pang
28. Dick Stockton
29. Dick Enberg
30. Darrell Waltrip
31. Kelly Tilghman
32. Mike Francesa
33. Steve Phillips
34. Pam Ward
35. Shannon Sharpe
36. Skip Bayless
37. Warren Sapp
38. Lamar Thomas
39. Paul Allen
40. Ken Harrelson
41. Magic Johnson
42. Chip Caray
43. Dave Mishkin
44. Joe Theismann
45. Dan Dierdorf
46. John Kruk
47. Jenn Sterger
48. Larry Merchant
49. Michael Kay
50. Lou Holtz

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/post/T...urn=top,137612
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Old 01-30-2009, 11:59 AM   #2
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Of all those, Joe Buck pisses me off the most. He announced David Tyree's catch in the superbowl in the same boring monotone that he accounced ball two in the week 5 Nationals/Blue Jays game.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:03 PM   #3
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Dick Enberg?
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:04 PM   #4
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Joe Buck is the worst currently. He made last year's most exciting SB plays seem like no big deal.

Pat Summerall, in his latter years, was even worse

Oh: and Chris Berman really isn't a sports announcer. He's a sports anchor
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:06 PM   #5
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Some of these guys aren't even announcers. I didn't think anyone could make a list of 50 announcers.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:08 PM   #6
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Phill Simms is by Far the worst.

How does Joe Morgan get 3rd? He is the man.

Gus Johnson at 13? He makes march madness exciting.

Joe Buck ? He does world series for a reason.


This list is bogus.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:09 PM   #7
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Dick Enberg?
Enberg is brilliant. His broadcasts are music to my ears.

A couple weeks ago, Enberg was on a radio show here and he said "The Drive" was argubly his greatest moment as a broadcaster.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:10 PM   #8
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Quote:
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Some of these guys aren't even announcers. I didn't think anyone could make a list of 50 announcers.
That's kinda why i posted it, i thought it was kinda funny/interesting.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:11 PM   #9
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Oh: and Chris Berman really isn't a sports announcer. He's a sports anchor
Have you heard his ESPN baseball telecasts? Back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, GONE!
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:11 PM   #10
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Joe Buck...I won't listen to a game he's calling, I will find it on the radio and live with the delay.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:17 PM   #11
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I agree with 75-80% of that list.

Larry Merchant should be ranked in the top 10. I guess nobody watches boxing anymore to get annoyed by his uppity self.

I'm in the minority here, but I actually like Joe Morgan, John Madden and Dan Dierdorf.

Lamar Thomas? Please? That rant he went on during the Miami-Florida Atlantic will forever be one of the greatest moments in color analyst history.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:17 PM   #12
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I like Pam Ward at 34 when she wins by a landslide every time there is an online vote about who is the worst play-by-play announcer.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:23 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by La Caspa Del Diablo View Post
I agree with 75-80% of that list.

Larry Merchant should be ranked in the top 10. I guess nobody watches boxing anymore to get annoyed by his uppity self.

I'm in the minority here, but I actually like Joe Morgan, John Madden and Dan Dierdorf.

Lamar Thomas? Please? That rant he went on during the Miami-Florida Atlantic will forever be one of the greatest moments in color analyst history.

Dan reminds me of corky on life goes on only corky is smarter.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:25 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by La Caspa Del Diablo View Post
Enberg is brilliant. His broadcasts are music to my ears.

A couple weeks ago, Enberg was on a radio show here and he said "The Drive" was argubly his greatest moment as a broadcaster.
Tell me about it. He's done many significant Broncos games including our first SB win. The Drive, the Fumle...his voice was the backdrop to all that. He was very easy to listen to. Definitely an alltime great and doesnt belong anywhere close to this list.

...Jim Nantz on the other hand makes you feel like he would be rather doing a golf tournament.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:28 PM   #15
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Have you heard his ESPN baseball telecasts? Back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, GONE!

Yeah, and this clown actually does playoff games. The guy is an abomination. The only thing good he has done in the last 20 years was that meltdown where he b****ed out E!SPN staff with profanities.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:30 PM   #16
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I like Chris Berman
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:31 PM   #17
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How does Collinsworth dodge the list? I used to not mind him, but now that he's EVERYWHERE I want him to get thrown in Gitmo.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:32 PM   #18
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Pat Summerall in his senile days was brutal to listen to. He absolutely butchered Super Bowl 33
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:40 PM   #19
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How does Collinsworth dodge the list? I used to not mind him, but now that he's EVERYWHERE I want him to get thrown in Gitmo.

That's why the list is stupid.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:45 PM   #20
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where the hell is Rich Gannon on that list? did no one listen to his stupid ass during a couple of our games. he repeatedly said athaletic, and athalete, and every time i heard that i wished the announcer with him would punch him in the throat.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:54 PM   #21
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Collinsworth sucks too.
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Old 01-30-2009, 01:03 PM   #22
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where the hell is Rich Gannon on that list? did no one listen to his stupid ass during a couple of our games. he repeatedly said athaletic, and athalete, and every time i heard that i wished the announcer with him would punch him in the throat.

Hes an athaletic corner...shut the **** up Gannon...you said that athaletically...AHHHHHHHHHHHH


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Old 01-30-2009, 01:07 PM   #23
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where the hell is Rich Gannon on that list? did no one listen to his stupid ass during a couple of our games. he repeatedly said athaletic, and athalete, and every time i heard that i wished the announcer with him would punch him in the throat.
That tool, every time he says "sacks" it sounds like sex.

"There's Dumervil, adding to his sex total"
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Old 01-30-2009, 01:36 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by La Caspa Del Diablo View Post
I agree with 75-80% of that list.

Larry Merchant should be ranked in the top 10. I guess nobody watches boxing anymore to get annoyed by his uppity self.

I'm in the minority here, but I actually like Joe Morgan, John Madden and Dan Dierdorf.

Lamar Thomas? Please? That rant he went on during the Miami-Florida Atlantic will forever be one of the greatest moments in color analyst history.
Larry Merchant is the devil!

#1 Stephen A
#2 Kornholer
#3 Merchant
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Old 01-30-2009, 01:37 PM   #25
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I like Berman. ANd always will.

Dick Vital is not a Duke homer, he is a blatant ACC homer. Duke is in the ACC but he will fawn over any of the teams. Currently his favorite cock up his ass is North Carolina, ever since Roy Williams got there. If he is doing a game that doesnt feature an ACC team, he will make it a point to bring up Tyler Hansborough as Player of the Year.

I ****ing hate Dick Vital.

Billy Packer was only a small notch below him.

I LOVED Bob Knight as an announcer. He was OK as an analyst but as an announcer of games he was ****ing awesome. He pointed out things tha no other announcers would or could. We need more ex-coaches to be game announcers and break down plays in college basketball.

Digger Phelps is another one of those tools I just cannot tolerate in anything.

Its sad, Im actually much more familiar with College basketball announcers than even teh NFL. Of course, its debatable which sport I actually enjoy more. Probably college basketball. I watch almost any of the games that are on, whereas the NFL I really only watch "good" games + Bronco games. I probably love the Broncos more than I do the Jayhawks, but it isnt by much.

I love Al Michaels, he's my favorite announcer in any sport. Enberg is good too bust most of those a-holes I cant even name.
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