|11-01-2008, 12:07 AM||#1|
Join Date: Dec 2002
If Jesus were running for Messiah today
Snagged this from another group:
If Jesus were running for Messiah today, you might get an email that looks
Warning to Concerned Messiah Voters!
I am running for Messiah against Jesus. I may not be a perfect candidate,
but there are some questions you may want to consider about my opponent.
1. Jesus says he wants to be the Messiah of Christians worldwide, but he in
fact has never been a Christian. He is a Jew. He attended Jewish schools and
has been seen in the Jewish 'Temple'.
2. Jesus has been known to hang around with known unrepentant thieves,
prostitutes, and lepers. How do we know he's not a thieving, prostituting
3. He calls himself Jesus the Carpenter but has anyone seen him hammer so
much as a peg?
4. Jesus fed the multitudes with but a few loaves and fishes and raised the
dead. Is he some kind of sorcerer?
5. What about those missing years? Demand an explanation.
6. Jesus is too young and inexperienced to be Messiah. He lacks the age and
wisdom of, say, a Moses. Can you trust your salvation to a Messiah that
young and untested?
7. Jesus claims his father was God, but his mother was married to Joseph. Is
he half-Divine or a liar?
8. Jesus is from Nazareth on the West Bank. You know you can't trust those
elite West Bankers.
9. Am I alone in noticing Jesus' skin is a wee bit darker than the rest of
the Hebrews? Is he even a real Hebrew?
10. Jesus says to "Suffer little children to come unto me". Is he some kind
of sex pervert?
11. What's with all the wine?
12. And lastly, Jesus has stated publicly that we should share our
belongings with the poor, proving once and for all that he is a commie
We can't risk having Jesus as Messiah. He claims he wants change, but what
is his REAL agenda?
If you agree, make ten papyrus copies of this message and pass them on to
your friends. Tune in to Rushus Limpnuts for more updates on this impostor
|11-01-2008, 07:19 AM||#3|
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Twixt Hell & Highwater
I've always said, if Jesus came back now, those Right wing hairdo preachers would be the first to string him up. Can't allow some itinerant preacher to threaten my goddamn megachurch!
|11-01-2008, 02:44 PM||#6|
Ring of Famer
Join Date: May 2001
But what percentage of those on the left that post here believe Jesus was the Messiah? A much smaller percentage than what the percantage would be if compaired to teh rest of teh US, so why hold him up as a gold standard, when so many dont think that he ezsisted, let alone was teh only begotten of God.
But no matter -- the irony of the comparison between Obama and the Messiah (who principles are dispised here in many cases) is likely lost on most here. Try Stalin -- the comparisons are stronger to your "chosen" One.