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Old 08-08-2008, 12:31 PM   #1
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Texans vs. Denver Preview: Why Denver Wont Win

http://mvn.com/nfl-texans/2008/08/08...nver-wont-win/

Posted By abumnamedPaul On August 8, 2008 @ 8:22 am In Amobi Kenobi, Sage "The Rage" Rosenfels, Mr. Mario Williams, Preseason 2008, Denver Broncos, Dre, Feature | 1 Comment

Well my plan for a guest columnist to help preview the upcoming Broncos-Texans preseason opener failed spectacularly. I guess five whole questions was too tall of an order. It’s a shame really, because I wanted to bring a fair and balanced perspective to preview the game with, but I guess I’ll have to go homer on all of you.

Why the Denver Broncos wont beat the Texans

I’ve got a message for all you Broncos fans who think you’re going to walk off with an easy preseason victory: good luck. You think you have an advantage against Houston? Tell me where that is. Actually spare me, I know what you’re going to say:

Ignorant Broncos Fan: “But Jay Cutler’s back and healthy this season! He’ll throw all over your secondary!”

Jay Cutler you say? Who exactly is he going to throw to? You think [1] Fred Bennett’s going to have a hard time shutting down Brandon Stokely? Please.

Ignorant Broncos Fan: “He can throw to Tony Sheffler!”

Tony Sheffler’s not bailing you out. He’ll get some catches, but don’t sit there and tell me that Demeco Ryans can’t handle him. Which one of them went to the Pro Bowl? Oh yea, that’s right.

IBF: “Darrell Jackson?!”

Please. There’s a reason he’s been on three different teams over the past three seasons. He had Hasselbeck feeding him the ball as the no. 1 receiver out there and still couldn’t break 1000 yds receiving. And don’t even talk to me about Keary Colbert. That kid’s just garbage. Face it, your receivers are terrible. Let’s just hope Brandon Marshall doesn’t pick a fight with another TV once he gets back from that DUI suspension. Then you’ll really be in trouble.

IBF: “We wont even need to throw, we’ll be running all day on you guys because we’re the DENVER BRONCOS!!! ‘98-’99 SUPER BOWL CHAMPS!!!!”

Yeah, m’kay. Last time you guys came into town Selvin Young was SHUT DOWN. Now he’s suddenly going to break out?

IBF: “He’s gotten bigger and stronger in the offseason!”

So did Amobi Okoye. And Mario Williams. I know you remember him.


Tell Jay Cutler Mario says what’s up. He’ll know who you’re talking about.

IBF: “Anthony Aldridge will break out and pick up Selvin’s slack when the backups start to play!”

I like Aldridge, but there’s not much of a drop-off when the Texans 2nd team defense takes the field. Xavier Adibi and Frank Okam will still give your man fits.

IBF: “Well our defense…”

Denver has one of those? In only one of your nine losses last year did you manage to hold a team under 20 points (they scored 19).

IBF: “But the Texans defense is terrible! Go John Elway!”

That “terrible” defense held you guys to 13 points last season. You’re offensive line couldn’t handle Mario by himself. What makes you think they’ll be able to handle Mario, an improved Amobi, and Roosevelt Colvin all bum-rushing Cutler at the same time? It just wont happen. To be honest, I feel bad for your boy Clady. He will leave the field traumatized by Mario.

You’re only chance to win (however unlikely it may be) lies with your starters. Once they leave the game it’s over. If it’s still close when the 2nd string takes the field (and it wont be), the Broncos will lose. Sage Rosenfels would be a starter on at least 10 other teams* and will shred your backup secondary. Patrick Ramsey proved he couldn’t be a starter, in Washington (and we all know just how tough the competition was out there).

I think I’ve made my point. The Broncos will not win.

The floor is now open for debate.

**** this guy
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Old 08-08-2008, 12:35 PM   #2
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What the hell is this bull****?
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Old 08-08-2008, 12:36 PM   #3
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Did this guy forget that it's a pre-season game and our starters will only play 1 to 2 series? Even so, in that series Brandon Marshall will be playing....What an idiot.
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Old 08-08-2008, 12:36 PM   #4
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anyone that is talking **** over a preseason game is an idiot
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Old 08-08-2008, 12:39 PM   #5
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Someone tell the co-ed rec league all-star that it's a preseason game.
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Old 08-08-2008, 12:41 PM   #6
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There's an NFL team in Houston? When did this happen?
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Old 08-08-2008, 12:46 PM   #7
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I thought it was a pretty funny piece myself...high comedy indeed
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Old 08-08-2008, 12:47 PM   #8
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This is what happens when Joe Fan thinks he's a sports columnist.
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Old 08-08-2008, 12:52 PM   #9
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Actually, i found it quite entertaining. He isnt really saying anything different than we've heard all offseason. And lets face it, last year in the regular season they beat our ass easily with Sage of all people behind center. Obviously this guy is getting way too worked up over a pre-season game but lets be somewhat sympathetic here, they havent had anything to really root for since their incarnation so they have to pump themselves up somehow.
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Old 08-08-2008, 12:54 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anubis View Post
Actually, i found it quite entertaining. He isnt really saying anything different than we've heard all offseason. And lets face it, last year in the regular season they beat our ass easily with Sage of all people behind center. Obviously this guy is getting way too worked up over a pre-season game but lets be somewhat sympathetic here, they have had anything to really root for since their incarnation so they have to pump themselves up somehow.
A little gratitude on their part is in order though. I mean, they've got Kubiak and 1/3 of their roster is former Broncos.
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Old 08-08-2008, 12:56 PM   #11
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very proffesional and rational arguement he presented there i must say . . . . LMAO
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:00 PM   #12
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Click the link. At the bottom he admits he thought this was a regular season game. I think he might be ten years old.
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:03 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hogan11 View Post
I thought it was a pretty funny piece myself...high comedy indeed
Kind of what I was thinking... I started of thinking, they whipped us last year, they have the right to talk smack. But, that was just pathetic. Humidity must've got the best of that Texan!
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:04 PM   #14
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Did he forget that Marshall is playing in this game?

Anyway. Houston is like Denver's ugly little brother.
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:04 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RaiderH8r View Post
A little gratitude on their part is in order though. I mean, they've got Kubiak and 1/3 of their roster is former Broncos.
Very true.
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:04 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaylore View Post
Click the link. At the bottom he admits he thought this was a regular season game. I think he might be ten years old.
yeah the comments section is pretty funny. He obviously was joking around
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:07 PM   #17
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Hahahah, Sage "the Rage" might be the single worst nickname ever. Worse than calling Foxworth "Foxy".
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:10 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ColoradoDarin View Post
Someone tell the co-ed rec league all-star that it's a preseason game.
I love it, that sounds like something I would say.
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:22 PM   #19
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Quote:
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Worse than calling Foxworth "Foxy".
Maners are the only ones that call him "Foxy." Teammates and everyone else call him "Fox."
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:27 PM   #20
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How cute.
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:27 PM   #21
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they can talk all they want - they thrashed and embarrassed us last year
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:28 PM   #22
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I'm just glad to see some high-energy football, finally. Are you guys jacked for the season to start, or what??
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:30 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaylore View Post
Click the link. At the bottom he admits he thought this was a regular season game. I think he might be ten years old.
Thats not him at the bottom. Thats someone else who goes by abumnamedpaull.
(2 "L"s)
The guy who wrote it is abumnamedpaul.
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:30 PM   #24
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Rofl.
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:36 PM   #25
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What a fagget! Wow, he can predict a preseason game, and he thinks he knows what he is talking about........Wow, maybe ESPN should hire this moron
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