ooops i messed up.....need advice - The Orange Mane

PaintballCLE · 08-06-2008, 12:30 AM

Ok so i go over my best friends (and his wifes) house today.....and when i get there......his wifes mother passed away....(lets keep in mind i am good friends with his wife too -- i even introduced him to her back in the day) after telling her im sorry to hear that and gave her a hug, she was telling me when the funeral was going to be.........then i blurt out "well at least it happened now and not during football season......or else i wouldn't have been able to come after all im going to all 16 games. I have too much money invested in this"

My best friend....while not a broncos fan, lives and dies browns(he goes to about 12-13 games a year)..........said "hell yeah me either" although i didn't think he was serious......as sad as this sounds I was.

Well this infuriated his wife, and she took the car and left........and wont answer his calls.

Now i fell partly (ok 99%) responsible for this.......any advice on what i should do? Is she jsut overreacting since her mother just died? Or did i just open up a whole can of worms.

Either way i feel like i need to do something..... any sugestions?

Spider · 08-06-2008, 12:33 AM

you have to get her a gift , so does he ......... one hellva apology letter ......

ludo21 · 08-06-2008, 12:35 AM

you definitely meant what you said.

But regardless, that was a very very dumb thing to say man... i dont know what to do but to leave a message with an apology.

JCMElway · 08-06-2008, 12:36 AM

And then apologize in person later.

Good luck with that.

PaintballCLE · 08-06-2008, 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ludo21

you definitely meant what you said.

But regardless, that was a very very dumb thing to say man... i dont know what to do but to leave a message with an apology.

lol no i know i meant what i said..........the thing is i know my friend said that to try to turn it into a joke so that she wouldnt get pissed.........but she took him seriously too and got pissed.

I didn't mean for it to come out that loud.... only so my friend could hear me lol DOH

Ian BDB · 08-06-2008, 12:39 AM

A gentleman, when he makes a mistake admits it immediately. You're the patch between the wife and husband. Get to her immediately, whether it means going to her or meeting a mutual location.

She's not mad at you, she's mad at her loss and she's mad at her husband for agreeing with you.

You're fully capable of fixing it, just put yourself in her shoes- seriously. Imagine what you'd need to hear and just say that.

Wait, you're supporting McCaine?

**** you.

PaintballCLE · 08-06-2008, 12:40 AM

well when i apologize.........should i play it off like it was a joke........and im sorry it wasn't a time to joke around.........or should i tell her i meant it, but it was an awful thing for me to say. Im leaning towards the joke lol

Ian BDB · 08-06-2008, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I bleed orange and blue

well when i apologize.........should i play it off like it was a joke........and im sorry it wasn't a time to joke around.........or should i tell her i meant it, but it was an awful thing for me to say. Im leaning towards the joke lol

Don't down play anything. Admit the mistake, "I'm sorry, that was the most insensitive thing to say..." Follow that up with a, "I was just trying to lighten up the situation and I made a mistake, I was wrong, you can't make this situation light. I'm sure that was (husband's) idea as well..."

The thing that women really want to think is that they are the only person that has gone through this on the planet. So let her feel like that, she is a beautiful butterfly, despite what you learned from watching Fight Club.

ludo21 · 08-06-2008, 12:44 AM

I wouldnt joke around in that way, but I would just say very seriously that Im sorry and it wasnt a time to be joking around.

AZBroncomaniac · 08-06-2008, 12:46 AM

Wow. Sorry, you and your bud are in the ****ehouse for a while.

I can't fathom the thought of that reaction, even with those I have joked with my entire life. Sorry, got no advice here.

Ian BDB · 08-06-2008, 12:47 AM

The other thing, after a bit of analysis, you said what you said, because you didn't know what else to say. It's okay to admit that. It was a self defense mechanism, depending on her level of intelligence she will accept that as well.

Jason in LA · 08-06-2008, 12:57 AM

I'm usually on the guy's side, and usually would tell a guy to be a man and stop taking crap from a woman, but damn, I can't believe you said that. I'm totally with the wife here. She should be pissed.

A simple apology is in order. But no ass kissing. Be a man lol.

Rock Chalk · 08-06-2008, 01:00 AM

Dude, you have serious issues. WTF is wrong with you?

Florida_Bronco · 08-06-2008, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jason in LA

I'm usually on the guy's side, and usually would tell a guy to be a man and stop taking crap from a woman, but damn, I can't believe you said that. I'm totally with the wife here. She should be pissed.

A simple apology is in order. But no ass kissing. Be a man lol.

I agree. That was a bad thing to say and she is right to be upset.

Best thing you can do is step up and take it all on yourself. Tell her that you said something stupid, her husband know it and tried to turn it funny to prevent the inevitable anger.

You might be in the doghouse for awhile, but you can probably save the husband.

PaintballCLE · 08-06-2008, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alec

Dude, you have serious issues. WTF is wrong with you?

ok i think you guys are misunderstanding this.........i didn't say it to be "honest" i said it as a joke (even though deep down i meant it)......i had no idea my friend was gonna jump in on it like that.......there is no way i would have said that seriously.....i meant it as a joke...SHE KNEW I WAS JOKING, but when my friend jumped in she thought HE was being serious.

Blueflame · 08-06-2008, 01:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I bleed orange and blue

Ok so i go over my best friends (and his wifes) house today.....and when i get there......his wifes mother passed away....(lets keep in mind i am good friends with his wife too -- i even introduced him to her back in the day) after telling her im sorry to hear that and gave her a hug, she was telling me when the funeral was going to be.........then i blurt out "well at least it happened now and not during football season......or else i wouldn't have been able to come after all im going to all 16 games. I have too much money invested in this"

My best friend....while not a broncos fan, lives and dies browns(he goes to about 12-13 games a year)..........said "hell yeah me either" although i didn't think he was serious......as sad as this sounds I was.

Well this infuriated his wife, and she took the car and left........and wont answer his calls.

Now i fell partly (ok 99%) responsible for this.......any advice on what i should do? Is she jsut overreacting since her mother just died? Or did i just open up a whole can of worms.

Either way i feel like i need to do something..... any sugestions?

I'd suggest a profuse apology... women respond differently to the loss of a loved one than men do and it's a certainty that she was hurt by not just your remark but also by her husband's response to it. There's no use in trying to play it off as a joke... the damage is already done. She's hurting really bad and needs all the emotional support she can get. (just my $.02)

Hogan11 · 08-06-2008, 01:31 AM

Yeah, it's definitely damage control time... you have to Man up and take responsibility for the whole thing

Killericon · 08-06-2008, 01:47 AM

I thought this sort of **** only happened on sitcoms.

Florida_Bronco · 08-06-2008, 01:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hogan11

Yeah, it's definitely damage control time... you have to Man up and take responsibility for the whole thing

Yeah, he's gonna have to fall on this grenade for sure.

That One Guy · 08-06-2008, 01:56 AM

Well hell... you're already F'd.

If you talk to her... ask her if she misses her mom. When she says yes, tell her to bring the f'n car back or she'll be joining her. Then you and your buddy go to the bar.

Problem solved.

BroncoMan4ever · 08-06-2008, 02:00 AM

you screwed your boy. you need to grovel to her and he is going to have to buy some serious bling to get her back.

he can also forget about going to all those games this year if he wants to keep her

worm · 08-06-2008, 02:06 AM

Wow. Even I am not this insensitive.

End it now. Definitively.

Otherwise, every Bronco game you make this year will just remind her of this...and you and your bro will be repeatedly screwed. Some of the enjoyment WILL be sucked out of those games. She will find a way.

manchambo · 08-06-2008, 02:07 AM

I'm in wonderment.

There must be a drug that could help you, but I'm not sure what it would be. Why your mind would ever jump form death to the Broncos, particularly when there is no actual conflict, is a total mystery to me.

I have no idea how you can fix this. You revealed to her that you care about football far more than the the death of her mother, and somehow also got your idiot friend to do the some thing. I don't see how she'll ever think any better of you. You just have to hope that her love for your friend will help her overlook this astonishing character flaw. She doesn't love you, so there's no hope for you.

I don't think you have any viable option but to offer yourself for scientific research.

manchambo · 08-06-2008, 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I bleed orange and blue

ok i think you guys are misunderstanding this.........i didn't say it to be "honest" i said it as a joke (even though deep down i meant it)......i had no idea my friend was gonna jump in on it like that.......there is no way i would have said that seriously.....i meant it as a joke...SHE KNEW I WAS JOKING, but when my friend jumped in she thought HE was being serious.

So it's somehow supposed to make this seem better that your first reaction to hearing of someone's mother's death is to crack a lame joke?

cutthemdown · 08-06-2008, 02:52 AM

what can say other then I'm sorry I'm such a stupid man. Then tell her that you get so nervous dealing with stuff like this you always say something you regret. Then remind her that you really do feel for her loss and ask her if she can please forgive you beacause what she thinks about you is very important to you.

Also I would suggest showing up on a Sunday and taking her to brunch while the Broncos are playing. Show her football isn't more important then friends.

08-06-2008, 12:30 AM	#1
PaintballCLE INFLITRATE ENEMY LINES Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Cleveland, Oh Posts: 3,236	ooops i messed up.....need advice Ok so i go over my best friends (and his wifes) house today.....and when i get there......his wifes mother passed away....(lets keep in mind i am good friends with his wife too -- i even introduced him to her back in the day) after telling her im sorry to hear that and gave her a hug, she was telling me when the funeral was going to be.........then i blurt out "well at least it happened now and not during football season......or else i wouldn't have been able to come after all im going to all 16 games. I have too much money invested in this" My best friend....while not a broncos fan, lives and dies browns(he goes to about 12-13 games a year)..........said "hell yeah me either" although i didn't think he was serious......as sad as this sounds I was. Well this infuriated his wife, and she took the car and left........and wont answer his calls. Now i fell partly (ok 99%) responsible for this.......any advice on what i should do? Is she jsut overreacting since her mother just died? Or did i just open up a whole can of worms. Either way i feel like i need to do something..... any sugestions? Last edited by PaintballCLE; 08-06-2008 at 12:32 AM..

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08-06-2008, 12:33 AM	#2
Spider Mr Diplomacy I survived Tebow Mania at the Mane Join Date: May 2001 Location: Elway was just an arm =MacGruder Posts: 84,438 Adopt-a-Bronco: Von Miller	you have to get her a gift , so does he ......... one hellva apology letter ......

08-06-2008, 12:35 AM	#3
ludo21 RIP Darrent Williams Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Glendale, AZ Posts: 17,911 Adopt-a-Bronco: Paul Ernster	you definitely meant what you said. But regardless, that was a very very dumb thing to say man... i dont know what to do but to leave a message with an apology.

08-06-2008, 12:36 AM	#4
JCMElway Moderate-erator Dominate! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Grand Rapids, MI Posts: 6,867 Adopt-a-Bronco: Oleg	And then apologize in person later. Good luck with that.

08-06-2008, 12:39 AM	#6
Ian BDB Just Drafted New to the Forum Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 25 Adopt-a-Bronco: None	A gentleman, when he makes a mistake admits it immediately. You're the patch between the wife and husband. Get to her immediately, whether it means going to her or meeting a mutual location. She's not mad at you, she's mad at her loss and she's mad at her husband for agreeing with you. You're fully capable of fixing it, just put yourself in her shoes- seriously. Imagine what you'd need to hear and just say that. Wait, you're supporting McCaine? **** you.

08-06-2008, 12:40 AM	#7
PaintballCLE INFLITRATE ENEMY LINES Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Cleveland, Oh Posts: 3,236	well when i apologize.........should i play it off like it was a joke........and im sorry it wasn't a time to joke around.........or should i tell her i meant it, but it was an awful thing for me to say. Im leaning towards the joke lol

08-06-2008, 12:44 AM	#9
ludo21 RIP Darrent Williams Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Glendale, AZ Posts: 17,911 Adopt-a-Bronco: Paul Ernster	I wouldnt joke around in that way, but I would just say very seriously that Im sorry and it wasnt a time to be joking around.

08-06-2008, 12:46 AM	#10
AZBroncomaniac Rock Steady Rookie Y'all sound like Peanuts' parents. Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: AZ Posts: 160	Wow. Sorry, you and your bud are in the ****ehouse for a while. I can't fathom the thought of that reaction, even with those I have joked with my entire life. Sorry, got no advice here.

08-06-2008, 12:47 AM	#11
Ian BDB Just Drafted New to the Forum Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 25 Adopt-a-Bronco: None	The other thing, after a bit of analysis, you said what you said, because you didn't know what else to say. It's okay to admit that. It was a self defense mechanism, depending on her level of intelligence she will accept that as well.

08-06-2008, 12:57 AM	#12
Jason in LA Gimmie that rep fool! Speaking of Butts & Boob Mojo Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: LA Posts: 12,253	I'm usually on the guy's side, and usually would tell a guy to be a man and stop taking crap from a woman, but damn, I can't believe you said that. I'm totally with the wife here. She should be pissed. A simple apology is in order. But no ass kissing. Be a man lol.

08-06-2008, 01:00 AM	#13
Rock Chalk Cheeky Bastards Laus Deo Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: The Backside of the Internet Posts: 29,940 Adopt-a-Bronco: Chris Harris	Dude, you have serious issues. WTF is wrong with you?

08-06-2008, 01:31 AM	#17
Hogan11 Rock-N-Roll Historian Let's take these SOB's out!!!!!! Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: W.NY.B.C. Posts: 21,300 Adopt-a-Bronco: Floyd Little	Yeah, it's definitely damage control time... you have to Man up and take responsibility for the whole thing

08-06-2008, 01:47 AM	#18
Killericon YES A DT!!!!!! Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: From Calgary, in Halifax for School Posts: 7,730 Adopt-a-Bronco: watermock	I thought this sort of **** only happened on sitcoms.

08-06-2008, 01:56 AM	#20
That One Guy Producer of Nonsense Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Sun and Beachville Posts: 14,042 Adopt-a-Bronco: None	Well hell... you're already F'd. If you talk to her... ask her if she misses her mom. When she says yes, tell her to bring the f'n car back or she'll be joining her. Then you and your buddy go to the bar. Problem solved.

08-06-2008, 02:00 AM	#21
BroncoMan4ever Ring of Famer Here to chew bubblegum and kick ass Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Denver Posts: 11,572 Adopt-a-Bronco: VIRGIL GREEN!!!	you screwed your boy. you need to grovel to her and he is going to have to buy some serious bling to get her back. he can also forget about going to all those games this year if he wants to keep her

08-06-2008, 02:06 AM	#22
worm Great moments are born... ...from great opportunity Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 3,947 Adopt-a-Bronco: #20	Wow. Even I am not this insensitive. End it now. Definitively. Otherwise, every Bronco game you make this year will just remind her of this...and you and your bro will be repeatedly screwed. Some of the enjoyment WILL be sucked out of those games. She will find a way.

08-06-2008, 02:07 AM	#23
manchambo Ring of Famer Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 1,213	I'm in wonderment. There must be a drug that could help you, but I'm not sure what it would be. Why your mind would ever jump form death to the Broncos, particularly when there is no actual conflict, is a total mystery to me. I have no idea how you can fix this. You revealed to her that you care about football far more than the the death of her mother, and somehow also got your idiot friend to do the some thing. I don't see how she'll ever think any better of you. You just have to hope that her love for your friend will help her overlook this astonishing character flaw. She doesn't love you, so there's no hope for you. I don't think you have any viable option but to offer yourself for scientific research.

08-06-2008, 02:52 AM	#25
cutthemdown A verbis ad verbera Zimm to HOF Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Long Beach Posts: 32,491	what can say other then I'm sorry I'm such a stupid man. Then tell her that you get so nervous dealing with stuff like this you always say something you regret. Then remind her that you really do feel for her loss and ask her if she can please forgive you beacause what she thinks about you is very important to you. Also I would suggest showing up on a Sunday and taking her to brunch while the Broncos are playing. Show her football isn't more important then friends.