Reverse Caption

[Steve Sewell]

What pic does this describe(this is a very LONG caption...caption is courtesy of Phat Endy):

"All these years I've read this site and weeded past the waste that jacka** posts on here and I finally come to find out that dude looks like THAT?!?!

I don't even know where to begin on this a**clown. Perhaps the most obvious place to start is that imitation Priest Holmes jersey with the iron-on numbers and dress-like appearance. I'm guessing that jersey doesn't actually say "Holmes" on the back because the company that sold those to the QuikTrip you picked it up at didn't want to pay the extra licensing fee to actually put any names on the back. I'd bet the back is just a wide (and in your case, very wide) expanse of red that makes the surface of the sun look like a matchstick in a cave.

Speaking of wide, how did you manage to strap an Atari 2600 to your wrist? I just figured that any dude who actually owned a Casio Calculator watch would make sure that he covered that sweet electronic abacus with his long sleeve shirt before Jethro snapped the picture. How, I wonder, do you manage to actually perform any calculations on that watch with those hamhock like fingers you've got crossed on your ample midsection? Each joint on those hands looks like a Johnsonville bratwurst separated by rubberbands. I bet that punching those little plastic buttons is harder than fitting that hat over your giant waterhead. I've seen hats precariously perched on dude's heads before, but that is generally because they think it is cool to wear them off to the side, not because the hat is clinging for dear life. This is probably the reason why you are not smiling in that picture. If you do smile, I bet the extra tension launches that hat into the next row of the parking lot.

And when RUN DMC rapped about their Addidas and no laces, they did so about 20 years ago and they didn't mean for fat white dudes in 3/4 top black ProWings to pick up on that fashion trend a couple of decades later. I'm wondering if the reason why your shoes are untied is because it is only worth it for you to make the herculean effort of reaching for your ankles during the work week and when you visit the prison for conjugal visit day. With a face like that, you KNOW that you have got to be somebody's girlfriend.

I am assuming of course that this outfit is not what you wear to work. I make that assumption because your pants are approximately 2 1/2 feet too long for your legs. If those pants pooled any more around your ankles the neighborhood kids would be knocking on your door asking if they can come over to swim. My guess it that you are one of those dudes who wears his pants below his gut so that you can still buy the 38" waistband Toughskins and continue to kid yourself about not being at your high school playing weight anymore, not that playing weight means anything when you are on the debate team, but it sounds much better than your stories about losing your virginity at the ripe old age of "never".

If you asked your mom, she might be able to hem up that "jersey" a bit for you so that you don't look like you are one belt away from turning that into a skirt outfit. I say this because we all know that tucking in your shirt is not an option. The last time you tucked in your shirt, the kids at the next tailgate over tried to see if weebles wobble but don't fall down and you had to miss the game with a concussion.

And here's a list of things that are okay to wear around your neck at a football game.

1. Nothing

I'm not sure if that is a 35mm camera around your neck or if you are filming the next feature film for IMAX but what I do know for sure is that you look gayer than Lance Bass making out with Doogie Howser with that bright blue man-purse wrapped around your beefy neck."

Thanks again for making that picture available. I've always known your intelligence was easily two standard deviations below the mean but now I've got a mental image to make me laugh whenever I see one of your posts."

[rugbythug]

Lol

[Steve Sewell]

Originally Posted by rugbythug

Lol

You didn't guess!

[Bob's your Information Minister]

Yes, that would be the old Bob photo. You know, back when I was fat?

[Hotrod]

"And when RUN DMC rapped about their Addidas and no laces, they did so about 20 years ago and they didn't mean for fat white dudes in 3/4 top black ProWings to pick up on that fashion trend a couple of decades later."

[Steve Sewell]

Originally Posted by Bob's your Information Minister

Yes, that would be the old Bob photo. You know, back when I was fat?

We have a winner!

[Arkansas Bronco]

I didnt think it had to be a guess anyone who has been around here a bit knew exactly who you were talking about.

[Bob's your Information Minister]

I think I'm gonna have to get a new Priest jersey. That one might catch a gust of wind and send me into the stratosphere these days.

[Los Broncos]

Originally Posted by Steve Sewell

We have a winner!

Why are your arms crossed like a fairy boy?

[BABronco]

Originally Posted by Steve Sewell

What pic does this describe(this is a very LONG caption...caption is courtesy of Phat Endy):

"All these years I've read this site and weeded past the waste that jacka** posts on here and I finally come to find out that dude looks like THAT?!?!

I don't even know where to begin on this a**clown. Perhaps the most obvious place to start is that imitation Priest Holmes jersey with the iron-on numbers and dress-like appearance. I'm guessing that jersey doesn't actually say "Holmes" on the back because the company that sold those to the QuikTrip you picked it up at didn't want to pay the extra licensing fee to actually put any names on the back. I'd bet the back is just a wide (and in your case, very wide) expanse of red that makes the surface of the sun look like a matchstick in a cave.

Speaking of wide, how did you manage to strap an Atari 2600 to your wrist? I just figured that any dude who actually owned a Casio Calculator watch would make sure that he covered that sweet electronic abacus with his long sleeve shirt before Jethro snapped the picture. How, I wonder, do you manage to actually perform any calculations on that watch with those hamhock like fingers you've got crossed on your ample midsection? Each joint on those hands looks like a Johnsonville bratwurst separated by rubberbands. I bet that punching those little plastic buttons is harder than fitting that hat over your giant waterhead. I've seen hats precariously perched on dude's heads before, but that is generally because they think it is cool to wear them off to the side, not because the hat is clinging for dear life. This is probably the reason why you are not smiling in that picture. If you do smile, I bet the extra tension launches that hat into the next row of the parking lot.

And when RUN DMC rapped about their Addidas and no laces, they did so about 20 years ago and they didn't mean for fat white dudes in 3/4 top black ProWings to pick up on that fashion trend a couple of decades later. I'm wondering if the reason why your shoes are untied is because it is only worth it for you to make the herculean effort of reaching for your ankles during the work week and when you visit the prison for conjugal visit day. With a face like that, you KNOW that you have got to be somebody's girlfriend.

I am assuming of course that this outfit is not what you wear to work. I make that assumption because your pants are approximately 2 1/2 feet too long for your legs. If those pants pooled any more around your ankles the neighborhood kids would be knocking on your door asking if they can come over to swim. My guess it that you are one of those dudes who wears his pants below his gut so that you can still buy the 38" waistband Toughskins and continue to kid yourself about not being at your high school playing weight anymore, not that playing weight means anything when you are on the debate team, but it sounds much better than your stories about losing your virginity at the ripe old age of "never".

If you asked your mom, she might be able to hem up that "jersey" a bit for you so that you don't look like you are one belt away from turning that into a skirt outfit. I say this because we all know that tucking in your shirt is not an option. The last time you tucked in your shirt, the kids at the next tailgate over tried to see if weebles wobble but don't fall down and you had to miss the game with a concussion.

And here's a list of things that are okay to wear around your neck at a football game.

1. Nothing

I'm not sure if that is a 35mm camera around your neck or if you are filming the next feature film for IMAX but what I do know for sure is that you look gayer than Lance Bass making out with Doogie Howser with that bright blue man-purse wrapped around your beefy neck."

Thanks again for making that picture available. I've always known your intelligence was easily two standard deviations below the mean but now I've got a mental image to make me laugh whenever I see one of your posts."

dude ... im totally cool with everyone making fun of Bob and the way he acts.... the fact that he is still a virgin ... the fact that he lives in his parents basement (or has he got an upgrade yet?) but its kinda ****ed up to make fun of the dudes looks