Taliban: Calling All Playwrights, Singers, Poets

[alkemical]

Taliban: Calling All Playwrights, Singers, Poets

Jihad is getting to be a huge drag. It turns out it isn't all hiding out in caves, plotting devious ways to kill infidels, and posing with your AK-47. First, we learn that Al Qaeda isn't all that different from The Office, replete with nasty memos and red tape. Now, the Taliban Cultural Committee is trying to stop playwrights and other artsy types from making unauthorized statements when they are praising jihad.

The CIA-funded Open Source Center recently spotted a known jihadist website "carrying a statement issued by the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan-Taliban entitled 'Statement of the Cultural Committee of the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan,' in which the Taliban voice their appreciation for the services and efforts' of 'writers, poets, and singers,' and bid them refer to and obtain 'consent from the Cultural Committee of the Islamic Emirate.'" Here's the translation:

Certain respectable writers, honorable scholars, and poets of the homeland have recently devised and printed a number of books and jihadist chant tapes, and they are selling them in the markets. They attribute their own efforts to the Islamic Emirate, and in particular to the Cultural Committee of the Emirate, without having discussed any of these matters with a cultural official in the Islamic Emirate. "The Islamic Emirate itself is appreciative of the services and efforts of these respectable people, but it informs them that attributing any jihadist publication or tape to the Islamic Emirate, because of the need for correlation, requires the consent of the Cultural Committee of the Islamic Emirate; otherwise, those people will not benefit from the name or title of the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan. "The Islamic Emirate also hopes, with all respect, that those poets and esteemed chant choirs, will write and chant to their struggling people such words as will inflame their fervor for jihad, put an end to the tears of the oppressed and suffering people, and maintain their determination and their will to restore independence, as well as helping to expose the evil intentions of the enemies of Islam and of these lands. And instead of paying tribute to specific people or individuals, they need to praise and value Islamic ideals first and foremost, and then praise patriotic values. "May God grant success "Cultural Committee of the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan."

What next? Interagency coordination?

[cutthemdown]

let's all make up a Taliban poem:

the morning light, shining, glistening off the sand that is our soil
why are the infidels here? we have no gold, no oil to share
only bombs, goats and ak 47's that crack beware.

The poppy fields will soon be for harvest
by then maybe the Americans will have forgotton us
then agian maybe not, I heard the yanks like it hot.

We went from the Soviets, to the Taliban, to whatever you call this
it's not hard to see Afghans history is all amiss.
Here's to hoping it won't last too long
then we can all stuff opium into our bongs.

[baja]

Don't quit your day job.

[cutthemdown]

Originally Posted by baja

Don't quit your day job.

you finally hurt me you bastard.

[baja]

I didn't mean to. I support creative effort way more than I support fighting. Keep writing it will get better.

[Taco John]

Sand in every crack
Visions of my wife's ankles
Wish jihad was done

[cutthemdown]

Originally Posted by baja

I didn't mean to. I support creative effort way more than I support fighting. Keep writing it will get better.

I'm a lot better at music

[alkemical]

Originally Posted by Taco John

Sand in every crack
Visions of my wife's ankles
Wish jihad was done

lol