The 5 Most Ridiculous Lies You Were Taught In History Class

[alkemical]

http://www.cracked.com/article_16101...ory-class.html

#5. Columbus Discovered the Earth is Round

The story we heard:
In 1492, a Spanish ponce by the name of Christopher Columbus won his long-standing feud with the monarchy and the Catholic church to get funding for a voyage to East Asia. They were afraid that he would fail spectacularly, because everybody knew that the Earth was a flat disc, and the direction Columbus was sailing in would cause him to fall off the edge and into the mouth of the giant turtle that supported it.

Columbus, as we were told, did fail to reach his destination, but not because the world was flat--it was because he crashed into the future greatest nation on Earth, baby! Thus, Columbus proved the world was round, discovered America, and a national holiday was born.


The truth:
In the 1400s, the flat-earth theory was taken about as seriously as the Time Cube theory is today, if not less so. The shape of the world has been pretty much settled since the orb theory was first proposed by the ancient Greek philosopher Pythagoras, around 2,000 years before the existence of Spain.

In fact, the navigational techniques of Columbus' time were actually based on the fact that the Earth was a sphere. Trying to navigate the globe as if it was a flat plane would have ****ed up the trip even more than it was.


Artists' representation

The Spanish government's reluctance to pay for Columbus' expeditions didn't have anything to do with their misconceptions about the shape of the world. Ironically, it was because Columbus himself severely underestimated the size of the Earth and everybody knew it. The distance he planned to travel wouldn't have taken him anywhere near Asia. Nevertheless, he eventually scraped together enough funds to embark on his ridiculous adventure, and the cluster**** that was the Columbus voyage has been celebrated annually in the Americas and in Spain ever since.

So where did the myth come from? It began with author and historical charlatan Washington Irving, who wrote a novel about Columbus in 1838. The novel was fiction, but some elements managed to creep into our history textbooks anyway, probably by some editors who wanted to spice it up a bit. Who's going to read a history book that's just filled with a bunch of boring **** anyway?


(More on site)

[Smiling Assassin27]

Sadly, history is no longer about truth, but rather about what advantage to you stand to gain from the way that you tell your version of history.High school and College level history classes are a joke today.


I can't believe the Galileo lie didn't make it.

[Dukes]

Teachers can skew things how they see fit, sadly.

[Bronco_Beerslug]

Originally Posted by Dukes

Teachers can skew things how they see fit, sadly.

Only to students who don't question them.

[alkemical]

heh, it's conditioning NOT to question - if you do - oh boy - you get in some ****. Lemme tell you, i got suspended for creating a mutiny. lol

[L.A. BRONCOS FAN]

How about the one W*GS was taught, i.e., that there's no difference between the Dalai Lama and Stalin?

[Florida_Bronco]

Originally Posted by L.A. BRONCOS FAN

How about the one W*GS was taught, i.e., that there's no difference between the Dalai Lama and Stalin?

Can't you two go one ****ing thread without this ****?

For ****s sake man, both of you are like 5 year olds.

[L.A. BRONCOS FAN]

Originally Posted by Florida_Bronco

Can't you two go one ****ing thread without this ****?

For ****s sake man, both of you are like 5 year olds.

Nothing like posting an expletive-laden rant in which you accuse someone else of acting like a five year-old.

I'm not one for religion, but maybe you need to check out Matthew 7:5:

Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

[alkemical]

Originally Posted by Florida_Bronco

Can't you two go one ****ing thread without this ****?

For ****s sake man, both of you are like 5 year olds.

why do you think i always joke about them being married....

[L.A. BRONCOS FAN]

Originally Posted by claviculasolomonis

why do you think i always joke about them being married....

It's more of a creepy stalker situation - he is, by his own admission, neither a Broncos fan nor an NFL fan.

His only purpose here is a personal vendetta.

[Bronco Jamus]

Columbus didn't discover America, Nords aside, Amerigo is credited.

[alkemical]

I've found some "alternative" versions to the America/Amerigo thing too - but overall i just found those fun to read as well.

[Bronco Bob]

Originally Posted by L.A. BRONCOS FAN

It's more of a creepy stalker situation - he is, by his own admission, neither a Broncos fan nor an NFL fan.

His only purpose here is a personal vendetta.

Seems to me you were the one to first post a W*gs comment in this thread.
So who is obsessed with who?

[alkemical]

Bronco Bob,

You don't understand - this has been going on for like... 10 years that i know of....

W*gs isn't a broncos fan, and LABF is le propaganduer So in some way, they are performing some ritual drama since the aeon of time began.

The only thing i find a bit funny about the whole thing...is that more or less - there are more similarities than not in this drama between the two adversaries. Where it is not two men who engage in each other, but the gods of each of the ego's by our thespians. They are not independent, they need each other to exist and define themselves. It's annoying, and it's fascinating all at the same time.

[Rohirrim]

There's so many lies to choose from. One of my favorites is the "native" American lie.

Humans are not indigenous to the Americas, ergo, no such thing as a "native American."

[loborugger]

Originally Posted by claviculasolomonis

Bronco Bob,

You don't understand - this has been going on for like... 10 years that i know of....

W*gs isn't a broncos fan, and LABF is le propaganduer So in some way, they are performing some ritual drama since the aeon of time began.

The only thing i find a bit funny about the whole thing...is that more or less - there are more similarities than not in this drama between the two adversaries. Where it is not two men who engage in each other, but the gods of each of the ego's by our thespians. They are not independent, they need each other to exist and define themselves. It's annoying, and it's fascinating all at the same time.

[alkemical]

I'd rep you, but i ran out

[L.A. BRONCOS FAN]

Originally Posted by claviculasolomonis

...and LABF is le propaganduer

Looks like angrydramaqueen has found a way to access clav's account.

[L.A. BRONCOS FAN]

Originally Posted by claviculasolomonis

The only thing i find a bit funny about the whole thing...is that more or less - there are more similarities than not in this drama between the two adversaries. Where it is not two men who engage in each other, but the gods of each of the ego's by our thespians. They are not independent, they need each other to exist and define themselves. It's annoying, and it's fascinating all at the same time.

I've watched you do your fair share of engaging, sparring, and quarreling with him over the past eight years, so I guess it takes a "thespian" to know one.

[L.A. BRONCOS FAN]

Originally Posted by Bronco Bob

Seems to me you were the one to first post a W*gs comment in this thread.

I didn't deny that, but that doesn't mean what I said about his reason for being here isn't true.

Originally Posted by Bronco Bob

So who is obsessed with who?

No obsession here - the thread was about ridiculous lies (the historical kind) and, considering hardly a day goes by that he doesn't spew some sort of "Stalin = The Dalai Lama" nonsense, I just couldn't resist - it was just too obvious.

[W*GS]

Originally Posted by L.A. BRONCOS FAN

[...]considering hardly a day goes by that he doesn't spew some sort of "Stalin = The Dalai Lama" nonsense, I just couldn't resist - it was just too obvious.

Show me where I said or implied or insinuated any such crap.

You're a piece of work, LABF.

[orangeatheist]

Originally Posted by W*GS

Show me where I said or implied or insinuated any such crap.

It's been my experience reading exchanges between these two that this is basically W*GS's contribution. LABF asserts something negative about W*GS and W*GS calls him on it. I rather think W*GS would get along just fine without LABF (albeit, it may not be as much fun) but LABF needs an antagonist. He lives to piss off someone. I'm sure if it weren't W*GS it'd be someone else. I actually think LABF cozies up to Gaffe just to twist W*GS's titty. Seriously.

[L.A. BRONCOS FAN]

Originally Posted by orangeatheist

It's been my experience reading exchanges between these two that this is basically W*GS's contribution. LABF asserts something negative about W*GS and W*GS calls him on it. I rather think W*GS would get along just fine without LABF (albeit, it may not be as much fun) but LABF needs an antagonist. He lives to piss off someone. I'm sure if it weren't W*GS it'd be someone else. I actually think LABF cozies up to Gaffe just to twist W*GS's titty. Seriously.

There you go with another uninformed opinion re: something about which you know nothing.

W*GS is, by his own admission, not a Broncos fan. He's not even an NFL fan.

He followed me here from the old DPO to carry on a personal vendetta.

That is his only reason for being here.

Your takes are starting to sound just as silly as the snake handlers to whom you set yourself in opposition.

[W*GS]

LABF has to lie in his attempts to piss me off.

It would be an interesting psychological study to understand why he's such a pathological liar.

[Dukes]

Originally Posted by L.A. BRONCOS FAN

There you go with another uninformed opinion re: something about which you know nothing.

W*GS is, by his own admission, not a Broncos fan. He's not even an NFL fan.

He followed me here from the old DPO to carry on a personal vendetta.

That is his only reason for being here.

Your takes are starting to sound just as silly as the snake handlers to whom you set yourself in opposition.

Do you ever post in any forum besides WRP?