|08-20-2007, 10:50 AM||#1|
Join Date: Apr 2001
A Proposed Alternative to Security Checks
patent#: US 6970105
By Daniel Wright, Patently Silly
posted: 12 August 2007 01:12 pm ET
In these days of airline travel, every passenger is a potential terrorist, and we must give up our toothpaste to prove we're not. There must be a better solution to airline safety that doesn't involve sacrificing our dental hygiene, right? What if the Transportation Security Administration were to give, instead of just taking away? Sounds good, but what if what they gave you was a collar equipped with a biosensor and a syringe filled with tranquilizer? Italian inventor Paolo Valletta explains in his patent:
"The system is designed in a manner that the emotional conditions of the passengers are detected and, in case of change of such conditions, the plane personnel is informed so as to intervene promptly on the related passenger ... the system referred to can deliver to the evil-minded person a substance like a narcotic or a strong tranquilizer adapted to neutralize the offensive capability thereof"
Take that, "evil-minded person!" But there are positives for the virtuous traveler, as well. Now, if your Ambien gets confiscated at the gate, all you need to do is experience an "emotional condition change" and that 14-hour flight to Tokyo will be over before you know it. Do they sell Method Acting for the Business Traveler at the gate?
Hey, wait a minute. If stewardesses had the ability to knock everyone in the cabin unconscious, wouldn't that mean that instead of smuggling weapons onboard the plane, terrorists would just have to go to flight attendant school?