What do you hate the worst?

[Atlas]

I hate the fact I might have to take a sh1t in public and I go into the mens room and it is one of these auto-flushes. I hate it when they flush before you do your business. I mean WTH are you supposed to do with your pants around your knees and the toilet is flushing violently under your ass?

[Bronco LB 59]

I feel your pain Atlas! I also hate it when you really have to take a ****, you get to the stalls, both of them have been napalmed, the floor is a quadmire and there are no COWBOY HATS on the wall!

[DennisSmithHOF]

Originally Posted by Bronco LB 52

I feel your pain Atlas! I also hate it when you really have to take a ****, you get to the stalls, both of them have been napalmed, the floor is a quadmire and there are no COWBOY HATS on the wall!

Huge fan of the term "napalmed" there.

[Dukes]

The worst bathrooms you'll find are ones at state parks, national parks and beaches. You know the ones, with stainless stell and no actual handles for flushing. Just a button that never works. And for some reason, they always reak of unrine.

[BizzyBone7]

I just hate dropping a deucer in public. The noises that would come out could scare little children and young adults.
And that auto-flush is a scary thing. If you lean too far back, it could suck out your spleen. Trust me, I've seen it.

[watermock]

Speaking of public bathroom angst, who was the genius that put the bathrooms in Casey's quikie marts behind and to the left of the counter. How easy to set yourself up for a robbery. Another time I walked in the home town Casey's and the woman had a whole day's take just bundled right on the front counter and was counting it. I couldn't believe it. There has to be an office in the back, and again, it's right next to the rear bathroom.

I hate it when you have urgency and you take the first opportunity and the can is absolutely filthy. I also hate those air dryers. Great, wash your hands then touch the button everyone else pushed, then when you open the door, your hands are dirty again.

People say money is filthy, and they are right. Think many hands that quarter has gone thru!

[Dudeskey]

Originally Posted by Atlas

I hate the fact I might have to take a sh1t in public and I go into the mens room and it is one of these auto-flushes. I hate it when they flush before you do your business. I mean WTH are you supposed to do with your pants around your knees and the toilet is flushing violently under your ass?

Here's what I do w/ auto-flushes.... 1 get a couple sheets of toilet paper & spit on a spot, then place the TP over the "ass sensor"... then go about your buisness and toilet won't flush... when done, remove toilet paper from sensor.

[bendog]

I sort of like them. They remind me of bidets.

[Rock Chalk]

I have an interesting anecdote to share.

My friend from Japan who is over here as an international student was not fond of his first and to date only American public restroom experience. It seems that the fact the doors do not go all the way up and all the way to the bottom of the floor concerns him because apparently - to him anyway - someone can "peek under the door". While I assured him that in my 20 some odd years of public restroom experiences this has never once happened to me, nor anyone I know, he was not comfortable with the fact that people could look under the door and see him emptying his colon.

That and the fact that toilet seats in America are not heated disturbs him. This was a great culture shock to me as I had no idea that toilet seats in Japan are heated. I thought "Why the hell havent American's done this with their toilet seats!?!"

[bendog]

I like France, where you can stand not only to pee like a man but to **** as well.

[clarkster]

personally im not a fan of a warm seat. it just feels like someone got off of it.
the spackling of the toilet does piss me off. i mean wtf? another thing that ****s me off is the toilet paper stuck all around the seat(or the paper ass gasket). i asked a guy once after he walked away leaving his paper on the seat and he said he cant touch it, it has germs on it.
man if that makes you mad, you should spend a few years in the Navy. theres some filthy human beings on the planet.

[BlaK-Argentina]

I have to say... this is one disturbing thread.
Fortunately I've never had to "go" in a public restroom... that's not something I'm looking forward to...

[TerrElway]

I just had a bad outhouse experience with a crowder/noisemaker? What's that you ask? Read on.

I am a very private bathroom person. I don't know what my parents did to me but I cringe at the thought of using a public bathroom. I hate using the loo at home if my kids are right outside the door yapping, "Dad? What are you doing? Are you done? Dad? DAD?" I just need peace and quiet and a good book. That's all I ask. Apparently I am the only man on earth who feels this way because whenever I have to use the stalls at work, I encounter all sorts of miscreants with no bathroom etiquette whatsoever. They break down as such:

The Crowder: When I go to the boys room, I always use the stall farthest from the door next to the wall. That way, I will never have to worry about having someone on either side of me. If there is someone in a stall, I always give at least a one stall buffer. If there is no buffer, I suck it up until later. However, I seem to attract Crowders. You know, the guy who comes into the bathroom and, given the choice of 5 empty stalls, he plops down in the one next to you. What a bozo.

The Noisemaker: This guy sounds like he's practicing to break the world dead lift record. He grunts and groans and squeezes and breathes hard and generally makes you wish you had done your business at home.

The Fiber Guy: This guy subsists on Raisin Bran and bean burritos. What else can account for the fact that no sooner do his pants hit the floor than things start splashing. Sounds of ANY kind coming from an adjacent stall are to be avoided at all costs.

The Best Guy Ever: This guy walks in, stops just inside the door, bends slightly to look under the stalls to see if they are occupied, and if they are, he leaves until later. This guy rules because he is just like me.

[rugbythug]

I just go in and poop. I don't really think about it.

[clarkster]

Originally Posted by TerrElway

I just had a bad outhouse experience with a crowder/noisemaker? What's that you ask? Read on.

I am a very private bathroom person. I don't know what my parents did to me but I cringe at the thought of using a public bathroom. I hate using the loo at home if my kids are right outside the door yapping, "Dad? What are you doing? Are you done? Dad? DAD?" I just need peace and quiet and a good book. That's all I ask. Apparently I am the only man on earth who feels this way because whenever I have to use the stalls at work, I encounter all sorts of miscreants with no bathroom etiquette whatsoever. They break down as such:

The Crowder: When I go to the boys room, I always use the stall farthest from the door next to the wall. That way, I will never have to worry about having someone on either side of me. If there is someone in a stall, I always give at least a one stall buffer. If there is no buffer, I suck it up until later. However, I seem to attract Crowders. You know, the guy who comes into the bathroom and, given the choice of 5 empty stalls, he plops down in the one next to you. What a bozo.

The Noisemaker: This guy sounds like he's practicing to break the world dead lift record. He grunts and groans and squeezes and breathes hard and generally makes you wish you had done your business at home.

The Fiber Guy: This guy subsists on Raisin Bran and bean burritos. What else can account for the fact that no sooner do his pants hit the floor than things start splashing. Sounds of ANY kind coming from an adjacent stall are to be avoided at all costs.

The Best Guy Ever: This guy walks in, stops just inside the door, bends slightly to look under the stalls to see if they are occupied, and if they are, he leaves until later. This guy rules because he is just like me.

agreed. quick story, went to the inlaws house last month for a week, theyve got one ****ter, and its off the kitchen. no good for me. i had to strategically plan when and where id crap to avoid the crowd. what a drag. key selling point on the house i just bought, 2 bathrooms. im good to go.

[broncswin]

Originally Posted by TerrElway

I just had a bad outhouse experience with a crowder/noisemaker? What's that you ask? Read on.

I am a very private bathroom person. I don't know what my parents did to me but I cringe at the thought of using a public bathroom. I hate using the loo at home if my kids are right outside the door yapping, "Dad? What are you doing? Are you done? Dad? DAD?" I just need peace and quiet and a good book. That's all I ask. Apparently I am the only man on earth who feels this way because whenever I have to use the stalls at work, I encounter all sorts of miscreants with no bathroom etiquette whatsoever. They break down as such:

The Crowder: When I go to the boys room, I always use the stall farthest from the door next to the wall. That way, I will never have to worry about having someone on either side of me. If there is someone in a stall, I always give at least a one stall buffer. If there is no buffer, I suck it up until later. However, I seem to attract Crowders. You know, the guy who comes into the bathroom and, given the choice of 5 empty stalls, he plops down in the one next to you. What a bozo.

The Noisemaker: This guy sounds like he's practicing to break the world dead lift record. He grunts and groans and squeezes and breathes hard and generally makes you wish you had done your business at home.

The Fiber Guy: This guy subsists on Raisin Bran and bean burritos. What else can account for the fact that no sooner do his pants hit the floor than things start splashing. Sounds of ANY kind coming from an adjacent stall are to be avoided at all costs.

The Best Guy Ever: This guy walks in, stops just inside the door, bends slightly to look under the stalls to see if they are occupied, and if they are, he leaves until later. This guy rules because he is just like me.

OMG, that is some of the funniest **** I have ever heard. I can't believe you actually take the time to designate a name for each of these subjects, but thank you, I will surely pass it on!!

[Los Broncos]

Originally Posted by BizzyBone7

I just hate dropping a deucer in public. The noises that would come out could scare little children and young adults.
And that auto-flush is a scary thing. If you lean too far back, it could suck out your spleen. Trust me, I've seen it.

[Los Broncos]

I hate going with my gf to Ross or Marshalls and having to crush one and the head is trashed and i dont have any wet naps.

[ludo21]

[-Slap-]

Originally Posted by TerrElway

The Best Guy Ever: This guy walks in, stops just inside the door, bends slightly to look under the stalls to see if they are occupied, and if they are, he leaves until later. This guy rules because he is just like me.

This is me, too. I don't even like to take a piss if someone is in there dropping a deuce.

Why? I'll tell you why: AIRBORNE FECAL PARTICULATES!

Don't want 'em on me. Don't want 'em in my nostrils.

[Los Broncos]

Originally Posted by -Slap-

This is me, too. I don't even like to take a piss if someone is in there dropping a deuce.

Why? I'll tell you why: AIRBORNE FECAL PARTICULATES!

Don't want 'em on me. Don't want 'em in my nostrils.

Omg are u kidding?

[Odysseus]

Napalm?
You guys want to talk napalm? Try going in a porta potty after some curry eating *$%& and 30 of his friends. You will learn to miss American crappers. The worst truck stop you can imagine still has a slight whiff of cherry cola and snickers bars. You need to go crap in place somewhere that invetned the rancid azz.

You end up knowing the difference between an Iraqi turd and an Indian and it's a little more than just the curry.

I saw this hard core Marine all bedecked in mud and battle gear come running of one such crapper screaming "Good Lord!" like he came from a hornets nest. He barely got his pants up.

Warm seat?
Try sitting on a porta pot that has been sitting in 130 degree heat all day. I didn't know you could scald your balls. I thought that was just a rumor.

What a crappy thread...literally.

[HorseHead]

try doin' your business in either New York City Airport. Your better off drinking the water in New Dehli.....

[alkemical]

Ya, i am one of those as well that just doesn't think about it.

[Dukes]

Originally Posted by quiettiger

Napalm?
You guys want to talk napalm? Try going in a porta potty after some curry eating *$%& and 30 of his friends. You will learn to miss American crappers. The worst truck stop you can imagine still has a slight whiff of cherry cola and snickers bars. You need to go crap in place somewhere that invetned the rancid azz.

You end up knowing the difference between an Iraqi turd and an Indian and it's a little more than just the curry.

I saw this hard core Marine all bedecked in mud and battle gear come running of one such crapper screaming "Good Lord!" like he came from a hornets nest. He barely got his pants up.

Warm seat?
Try sitting on a porta pot that has been sitting in 130 degree heat all day. I didn't know you could scald your balls. I thought that was just a rumor.

What a crappy thread...literally.

Luckily we had A/C trailers only a few hundred yards from the building where I worked. There were two port-a-johns too but you coouldn't go in those from 8am-10pm during the summer. Just too damn hot.