Andy Rooney For President!

[RhymesayersDU]

I've heard some rants in my day, but I have to say this is the best. Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back:

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the UnitedCaucasianCollege Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich I don't pity the poor.

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else

And if you don't like my point of view, tough...

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!

[missingnumber7]

You can always count on Andy Rooney to remind everyone in the midwest its america and to piss off people on both coasts.

[Rock Chalk]

This isnt an Andy Rooney rant.

[Obushma]

I agree with everything he said, he would be a good president who'd have the balls to say what he felt...I'd vote for him.

[RhymesayersDU]

Originally Posted by Alec

This isnt an Andy Rooney rant.

Damnit. Last time I believe anything I'm e-mailed.

Owned.

[DomCasual]

I was disappointed that he didn't say anything about the Uber-Virus recently reported by CNN. That seems to be as important an issue as our country is currently facing.

I'd say more, but my friend just called. He just woke up in a tubful of ice water, and it appears he's missing some organs. I need to get over there.

HA, RHYMES - YOU GULLIBLE SAP!

[sirhcyennek81]

I received this once in an email. I deleted said email, never passing it on, and I dared to oppose the email powers that be. In deleting this email, I hoped to never see it again....alas...my hopes for the future dashed...

[watermock]

Rooney never said that...but he thought it...heh...

[Rock Chalk]

Originally Posted by RhymesayersDU

Damnit. Last time I believe anything I'm e-mailed.

Owned.

Hey, we all get duped. First time I saw it I got duped.

Got duped on a Senator Gore bit back from the 80s and Ollie North.

Mostly, check snopes about the emails you get.

And use common sense. Rooney would never admit to watching pro-wrestling nor would he say "shoot your sorry ass" on 60 minutes.

[Kaylore]

Originally Posted by Alec

This isnt an Andy Rooney rant.

I was going to say.

Rooney never uses "sorry ass" in his rants. The first thing I thought of was Snopes. Thanks for doing the legwork.

[ZachKC]

Bwahaha. I have to quote TJ when this tripe was spreading around CP. Pretty much sums up my thoughts.

I'm so disappointed. This thread has real potential, but nobody wants to really assert themselves and defend their right to watch pro wrasslin' and still be considered aight.

I always find these little diatribes moronic, and enjoy reading the responses of people trying to make them sound like D-day speeches.

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

His father AND his grandfather died in vain? That's rough, but explains a lot about why the writer sounds like he's got an ass rash that spreads from the back of his neck up to his navel.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"


Here we have a guy raised by women, thanks to foriegn commies killing his father AND grandfather in vain, and he's dishing out child rearing advice like he's Dr. Phil on testosterone treatment. Aside from that, I've always found the criticism of the "it takes a village" thing to be fairly weak, considering it's nothing more than advocating family values at the community level. My parents were big into that. I can't count the amount of neighbors and family members who were given explicit permission right in front of us to discipline us if we started acting out of turn. I can think of some little ****s in my neighborhood who are lucky that their parents aren't so "liberal" in their children's discipline strategy.

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!


See this is the problem with these little so-called conservative rantings that mean aboslutely nothing. All they do is stuff a straw man and then beat the hell out of it, while smiling proudly and patting themselves on the back. I've known a lot of people who have gotten tattoos... More than I can even imagine to count. I can't think of even one who considered it a political statement. And if you don't want to look at piercings when you're getting served food, then don't go to farging McDonalds... Piercers have to get a job somewhere, and McDonalds is hiring all the time. It's a match made in heaven.

I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"?

This one I find very amusing because I know few black people, but the ones I know the best are from Africa! My neigbor who works at Intel is from Zambia. But aside from that, I don't understand the investment that this (or any) red ass conservative has in what other groups of people call themselves in order to maintain a connection to their cultural heratige. That one always perplexes me...

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer.

Oh yeah. This guy is a genious. Killing makes you a killer. John Madden would likely agree.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc, so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

Is this another straw man? I've never heard of a program that pays people money simply because they are not from this country. One of you knuckleheads glorifying this thing care to chime in on the relevance of this?

I have the right NOT to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off. When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.


Another straw man? What city in America is 70% black? I did some research and can't find anything.

I pretty much have a love/hate relationship with these worthless diatribes... I hate them because they're stupid, but love them because of what they drum out of the woodwork for ridicule.
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[Merlin]

Nice breakdown by Taco. The only thing missing was that the diatribe is nothing more than a reproduction of code words used far too often to espouse prejudice, extreme NRA stances, right wing conservative ideology, and intolerance, all in the name of apparent good old boy common sense. That is, the general themes are reproduced in the discourse of many who hold extreme positions in the above stances. As Taco response implies, Red Herring's and Straw Men being used to hide extreme political positions (i.e. not truly the good old American common sense it seemed to espouse).

[ZachKC]

Originally Posted by Merlin

Nice breakdown by Taco. The only thing missing was that the diatribe is nothing more than a reproduction of code words used far too often to espouse prejudice, extreme NRA stances, right wing conservative ideology, and intolerance, all in the name of apparent good old boy common sense. That is, the general themes are reproduced in the discourse of many who hold extreme positions in the above stances. As Taco response implies, Red Herring's and Straw Men being used to hide extreme political positions (i.e. not truly the good old American common sense it seemed to espouse).

Great post.

[Taco John]

I can't believe that in 2007, people still fall for this Andy Rooney/Ted Nugent/George Carlin stuff...

[Taco John]

Originally Posted by Merlin

Nice breakdown by Taco. The only thing missing was that the diatribe is nothing more than a reproduction of code words used far too often to espouse prejudice, extreme NRA stances, right wing conservative ideology, and intolerance, all in the name of apparent good old boy common sense. That is, the general themes are reproduced in the discourse of many who hold extreme positions in the above stances. As Taco response implies, Red Herring's and Straw Men being used to hide extreme political positions (i.e. not truly the good old American common sense it seemed to espouse).

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for the right kind of conservativism. I'm in favor of the second amendment. I'm in favor of privatizing social security. I am a huge proponent of privatizing the school system and introducing choice to parents and students. But what I hate more than anything is demagougery from either side, whether it be the red ass Republican who just hates libs, or the Liberal militant who hates Christians because they believe something that they don't personally believe. Aside from that, the worst thing in the world is straw man politics.

[Swedish Extrovert]

Is that the dude from 60 minutes. I usually like him...

I agree with some of the sentiment, but not most of it.

[Kaylore]

Originally Posted by Taco John

I can't believe that in 2007, people still fall for this Andy Rooney/Ted Nugent/George Carlin stuff...

And but a handful of posts later, with the truth behind this thing on the same page....

Originally Posted by Mighty Smurf

Is that the dude from 60 minutes. I usually like him...

I agree with some of the sentiment, but not most of it.

[Swedish Extrovert]

Originally Posted by Kaylore

And but a handful of posts later, with the truth behind this thing on the same page....

no no no no no..... I knew it wasnt him. I was asking if it wasthe same guy implied in the first post.

I still dont know

[Elvis]

Originally Posted by Taco John

I can't believe that in 2007, people still fall for this Andy Rooney/Ted Nugent/George Carlin stuff...

I can tell you why they fall for it, they are hearing something that feels good for what they themselves believe.

[spdirty]

I got that email like 3, 4 years ago. Agree with every opinion on there.

[Kaylore]

Ok, I'll throw my hat in and pull this apart. I'm a conservative so no one can accuse me of being biased against it either.

Originally Posted by NOTAndyroRooney

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers.

Technically he's right, that just being a minority alone doesn't make you a victim. However a large number of minorities have experienced racism in some form at some point in their life and that's just the way things are.

The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the UnitedCaucasianCollege Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

I agree that when it comes to being accepted into certain schools, race should not be a factor one way or another. However, many minority families need help because their family is impoverished and they can't afford higher education or the ability to live in a place that has good schools and good influences on their children. I would like to see that help be profiled more around economic conditions and less around race.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I'm for the right to bear arms, and The first two sentences are correct. The third is not. A gun is designed specifically to kill someone or something. A "baseball bat or car" are not and using them that way (the wrong way) is a crime. To say that a thing designed to move people, an instrument in a game and a weapon are comparable is stupid.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

Yes. I think the feminists in the country have their priorities pretty jacked up. A lot of women want things that matter like longer maternity leave (or any maternity leave at all!) and equal pay. What their supposed champions do instead is fight for stupid stuff like trying to let a handful of women to play on men-only golf courses. Get a clue.

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I agree with this. You don't have to like a behavior. I don't think a lot of behaviors people do are ok. Some of my friends do these things, but I don't hold others to my morale standards when it comes to sex.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

Ok, that's pretty wrong. I mean it comes right after the homosexual line and if you don't tolerate it, what does that mean it's ok to do? You don't have to accept or condone others' behavior, but you must tolerate peoples' agency even when it's used in ways we wouldn't choose ourselves.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

Yes.

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

I agree with this. I think that it would be good for immigrants to learn English. In fact, I think everyone should learn to speak at least one other language fluently, and if you decide to live in another country, you better do your best to speak in their language at all times.

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

What a stupid comment. Does this mean anything? And really they did die for that! They died for things like free speech - which allows you to disrespect this country free recourse.

I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

Ok, that's how it is now.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

No one is qualified for these things just because they are an immigrant. Ok that's actually not entirely true. Illegal immigrants bleed a lot of money when they come across the border and have children in hospitals here on our tax money. However, if some guy wants to come here and start a business like a hotel, coffee shop or trinket store, I say bring 'em all in! That helps the economy and every American.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

This is so dumb. Is this happening? Why is he whining about it?

I don't hate the rich I don't pity the poor.

Yay for him.

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

This is where the type of yahoo this is comes out. Wrestling is a faked sporting event. If the Wrestlers decided to do Henry the V or Neil Simon, then I'd watch it. Fake fighting in the movies actually looks real and there is an actual story with a plot. Also, there are a lot of bad movies and TV shows. Wrestling sucks because it's crappy, trashy entertainment,

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

I agree.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

I agree that it doesn't take a village and Hillary is full of it.

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I agree with Taco John here. Also, I couldn't care less what the guy making my burrito supreme has in his lip. I just want my value meal clean, free of disease and promptly. If he does that, he can wear all the lip rings he wants. I also don't care if they call their tattoo a political statement. It's about as worthless as those magnetic ribbons on people's cars.

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else

How are these things related? The tone is pretty racist at this point. I do think we need to start thinking of each other as Americans. And there are tons of men and women here from Nigeria, South Africa and Ghana.
[/quote]And if you don't like my point of view, tough...[/quote]

But if a foreigner doesn't like it, he sucks and should be beat because his daddy and his daddy's daddy didn't die for that or something.


Pretty lame. Lots of "I don't think this thing that never happens should happen!" and not much else.

[Swedish Extrovert]