Cheesiest Title Ever: "Kwame Brown Takes The Cake... Literally!"

[RhymesayersDU]

I know this is kind of weird, and I know a lot of you don't want this place turning into NBA central, but I found this too funny not to post. And yes, I realize the title to this thread is absolutely terrible. From SI.com:

Kwame takes the cake?
Man claims Lakers center swiped $190 birthday treat
Posted: Wednesday January 17, 2007 4:33PM

HERMOSA BEACH, Calif. (AP) -- A man walking down the street at bar-closing time with a $190 cake in his arms claimed Los Angeles Lakers center Kwame Brown swiped his birthday treat.

But authorities said the cake caper won't be prosecuted.

In a police report, Alexander Martinez said he left his 30th birthday celebration at the Shore Restaurant and Lounge at about 1:45 a.m. Saturday with the uneaten 2-by-2-foot cake and walked north toward the Blue 32 nightclub.

Martinez told police he first came upon Lakers forward Ronny Turiaf, who he said agreed to pose for a photograph with him and the chocolate cake.

But outside of Blue 32, the 6-foot-11, 270-pound Brown came along, grabbed the cake and threw it at Martinez, according to the report. Brown got into a white limousine and left, Martinez claimed in the report, although he didn't suggest any reason for the cake toss.

Martinez reported that he then walked up to Lamar Odom as the Lakers forward left Pedone's Pizza and confronted him about the cake, which was splattered on the birthday man's back.

A man believed to be Odom's bodyguard pushed Martinez into the street, yelling at him to get away from Odom, the police report said.

"Calm down, he didn't do anything," Odom told the man believed to be his bodyguard, the report said.

Everyone then went their separate ways and Martinez filed a police report 12 hours later.

Detectives presented a possible "grand theft of a person" case to the city attorney's office, which decided not to prosecute.

Brown wasn't talking, but Lakers spokesman John Black said the team was aware of the alleged incident and had been told prosecutors were not filing charges. Black had no other comment.

The Lakers are on a three-game road trip through Saturday.

In July of 2006, a woman accused Brown of sexual assault. The district attorney's office dropped the case after a medical exam of the alleged victim was reviewed and revealed no signs of forcible sexual assault.

Brown, averaging 8.7 points and 6.6 rebounds, has been sidelined since spraining his right ankle on Dec. 31. He is expected back in about two weeks.

[Clockwork Orange]

Get Michael Jordan to interrogate Kwame Brown. He'll break him in five minutes.

[RhymesayersDU]

Originally Posted by Clockwork Orange

Get Michael Jordan to interrogate Kwame Brown. He'll break him in five minutes.

Why do you think he's resorted to cake stealing? MJ destroyed him, and chances are Bynum is the starting center for the Lakeshow next year!

[GonzoLays]

You know, if Kwame did that for no apparent reason, he's an a-hole.

[DomCasual]

Moral of the story: If you are dumb enough to spend $190 on a birthday cake, you deserve to have it stolen.

[24champ]

Originally Posted by RhymesayersDU

Why do you think he's resorted to cake stealing? MJ destroyed him, and chances are Bynum is the starting center for the Lakeshow next year!

He didn't steal a cake, simply chucked it at Martinez. There's two explanations I can think of is that Kwame was drunk or that Martinez provoked something.


PS. Bynum is still raw, still needs to be more consistent. Might be awhile before he is a full-time starter. Phil still is working on Bynum's work ethic, he can be lazy sometimes and other times he can put forth a good effort. Just needs to be more consistent.

[RhymesayersDU]

Originally Posted by 24champbailey

He didn't steal a cake, simply chucked it at Martinez. There's two explanations I can think of is that Kwame was drunk or that Martinez provoked something.


PS. Bynum is still raw, still needs to be more consistent. Might be awhile before he is a full-time starter. Phil still is working on Bynum's work ethic, he can be lazy sometimes and other times he can put forth a good effort. Just needs to be more consistent.

Good point. Steal wasn't the right word.

Interesting stuff though about Bynum. Didn't know that. I think he's going to be great, personally. Maybe not next year, but I've liked what I've seen out of him.

[-Slap-]

He's bigger than that guy, plus he's a celebrity, so, you know, what's the problem?

[RhymesayersDU]

Originally Posted by -Slap-

He's bigger than that guy, plus he's a celebrity, so, you know, what's the problem?

Hey, survival of the richest. American Darwinism.

[-Slap-]

If Ricky Manning and Maurice Drew can slap a laptop out of some guy's hands and gang beat him in a parking lot, why can't Kwame throw around this guy's cake? Just because he sucks at basketball?

[epicSocialism4tw]

Originally Posted by -Slap-

If Ricky Manning and Maurice Drew can slap a laptop out of some guy's hands and gang beat him in a parking lot, why can't Kwame throw around this guy's cake? Just because he sucks at basketball?

Goodness, that's funny.

Gotta hand it to you Kwame, you are a superstar.