Sesame Street takes war to heart

[alkemical]

Sesame Street takes war to heart

NEW YORK - Children left behind when their mother or father or sometimes both are sent away to fight are the hidden casualties of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

A PBS special with advice on how families can hold together during wartime separations is both a practical guide and window into a world that many Americans are unfamiliar with.

"I don't think most of the American public realize how big a sacrifice this is," said Gary Knell, president and CEO of Sesame Workshop, which produced the show. "Whether you are pro-war or anti-war, the fact is we have to help these children in need."

The 30-minute show, When Parents Are Deployed, premieres at 10 p.m. Thursday on KUHT/Channel 8. Cuba Gooding is host.

This holiday season, an estimated 700,000 children under age 5 are separated from a parent who is overseas in the military, the most since World War II, according to the show's creators.

When Parents Are Deployed is an outgrowth of an educational program geared to these children done by Sesame Workshop and funded by Wal-Mart Stores Inc. Video kits are being distributed to hundreds of thousands of children with advice on how to help them cope with the anxiety felt over missing parents.

Sesame Workshop considered it such a success that it made the television show addressed primarily to parents.

"These people are so hungry for figuring out connections with their kids," Knell said, "and what better vehicle than Sesame Street and the Muppets?"

Several different military families are interviewed about their own experiences, although, at the request of the Defense Department, their names aren't used. A variety of perspectives are sought — families that are black, white and Hispanic, some single moms and another where a grandmother is caring for the youngsters.

The families also talk about what happens before Mom or Dad leaves and what happens when they return. One woman, for instance, talks about how her husband spent his last few weeks fixing things around the house and preparing for his absence, when what the family most wanted was to spend time with him. Some families also have problems integrating a parent back into the household after they had developed a routine for several months without him or her.

There are several creative ideas for maintaining connections. One father set up a ritual with his son when they both said good night to the moon as they went to bed, thinking of the other doing the same thing halfway around the world. Children prepared elaborate books with pictures of themselves for their parent to look through while away.

Computers also offer far more opportunities for connections than ever before.

"The one thing I learned is that the military kids tend to be pretty resilient," Knell said. "They seem born into a culture that's made for resiliency."

One veteran talks proudly about how he had left behind a glass jar filled with little messages from him for them to read, one a day, while he was gone.

His daughter sits bravely beside him as he talks until she can't take it anymore. She dissolves into tears at the memory.

The emotionally wrenching moment says more than words could about the difficulties these families face.

None of the parents involved in the special have been subsequently killed or injured, said Jeannette Betancourt, vice president for outreach and educational practices at Sesame Workshop.

"I think it's incredibly important that the Public Broadcasting System chose to air it," said Charles Bolden, who four years ago retired as a major general after nearly 35 years in the Marine Corps. Bolden was among a group of military and medical advisers Sesame Workshop consulted on the project. "The story that is told is one that the vast majority of Americans don't have a clue about," he said.

There's a deep disconnect in the United States between the families fighting this war and those that aren't, almost like separate societies, Bolden said.

Makers of When Parents Are Deployed are worried that people with no personal connection to anyone in the war will shrug and change the channel if they come across the special, when in many ways it's just as important that they see it.

"Hopefully there will be some people who will be touched by it and try to make a difference," said Bolden, mentioning scholarship funds for children in military families.

Unspoken in the special is what is undoubtedly the biggest fear of the military children: that Mom or Dad will return from Iraq seriously injured or not return at all. Knell said this was done because grief brought with it issues entirely different from absence and would change the show's focus.

He's open to doing another special where this issue is addressed, provided funding could be secured.

[bendog]

That's it; the GOP is really gonna cut their funding now. How can they not support the troops like this? (irony)

Seriously, I did see a special focusing on a group of wounded guys, and gals. One guy didn't make it, another guy lost feeling in part of his foot but was able to stay in the military on a training mission. One lady lost a limb or something. The one I really remembered was a guy with a brain injury. His personality had changed, and he had trouble functioning with losing a train of thought, and just not "emoting" normally. His kids' reactions were what I remembered. They were like, "he's still my Dad, and I'm proud of what he did."

[alkemical]

is this a form of conditioning?

[bendog]

jmo? Sort of. First this isn't a form of shared sacrafice. My kid says "I'm sure glad you aren't in the army, Daddy." I say, "I'm glad you aren't either, Sweetheart." Both statements are true.

So how do we begin to understand the sacrafice? It's not like D-Man's career. Sure, he made a sacrafice, but hey, people are teachers in crummy schools, cops, priests, etc .... all with jobs that require low pay and sacrafice by families, and frankly his end time payout is more than most of those guys see.

I thought about career military back in the mid 70s, and purposefully passed just because of the possibility of an Iraq type cluster****. The lifestyle was good, as I like guns and camping and camp cooking, the potential payout at early retirement was good, and if you have to fight to protect the homefront ... well, there's nobitity in that, but the potential to get caught up in something very, very bad was there, and once in you can't say "crisis of conscience." You have to do the deed, be it waterboarding or driving a humvee. It's hard to understand the sacrafice when the entire premise of the mission is so clouded with lies and absurd pipedreams of armchair warriors like bushii and wolfowitz and cheney.

You and I can sit here and say "jesus christ what are we doing to these peoples' families," but for them to admit that the mission and goals are so bogus would just be even more heartbreaking.

And once you get to that realization, it's a short step to saying something Kerryesque, "poor stupid schmucks."

Most of us know we're all schmucks really, and anyone who sees a show like that, or the one I mentioned, or that discovery channel series on the Ark Natl Guard unit, immediately think "Let's bring em all home, now." But then all of our leaders say we have to wait at least till 08, and then do it in phases. Beats me as to why, as it's making no difference to Iraq, or waht Iraq will become.

And once you voice that realization, you are an enemy of the state. Neither bush, mccain or hillary want to hear that.

[alkemical]

No doubt bendog.

When i read this article - i thought "why is this show made". It didn't seem to me that with all the talk by the "leaders" that the troops are/were coming home - then why go into this with kids. It didn't seem like Vietnam type body loss.

that's where i saw this from - are we going to be there faaar longer than stated, and if so is the draft coming back.

I too thought about the military - but my problem with authority would make me a horrible serviceman.

[bendog]

I'm all for the show. This whole fiasco is just surreal. I'm not much into conspiracies, and I think the hijackers were exactly whom the govt says they were (though I think the corruption goes way into the House of Saud, and not just incompetence in why the religious schools in Pak created the Taliban, I think some of the Saud do want to destroy the West) so I disagree with you on the mininuke thread.

But people, and OTHER CHILDREN, do need to see stuff like this. OUR ENTIRE PERCEPTION of the war in Iraq and the military is simply NOT THE SAME REALITY those military people face. Our kids do need to see the reality of the military kids' lives, and come to grips with it.

Those kids are seeing their parents on multiple deployments. You and I, you better than I, can imagine the emotional tug on these kids. But, by and large, their parents are still buying into the mission. Apparantly they still believe some society in Iraq is achievable. And the kids, by and large, suffer the emotional loss and love their parents and support them.

I think this belief is a type of collective psychosis. To admit otherwise is to admit all their loss was for not only nothing but a damn lie all along. Perhaps I'm wrong, but time will tell. In 08, we'll see what's in Iraq. I think it'll be a largely ethnically balkanized tribalized state nominally controlled by the shiaa. If so, I fully expect bushii and hillary to declare victory, and the military to heave a huge collective sigh of relief and say "thank God we didn't fail, because failure would have destroyed the volunteer force." in short, whatever the end result, the REALITY FOR THE MILITARY WILL BE VICTORY.

But regardless of whether they're in some delusional state, I think its necessary for our non-military children to see this. If I know when it's on, I'll tape if for my kid, and if age appropriate, I'll make her take a gander.

What really disturbs me though is she says her social science teacher told her "the iraqis wanted to attack us." (that's what she says, but sometimes her reports are not really what occurred). He's a fine young teacher, so I won't go into it with the school as to the utter unnecessary waste of this war, but it's a tough message for kids to grasp. reality isn't necessarily reality.

[alkemical]

That's more or less i think where i do agree with you bendog, in that those whom are not effected day-to-day on this issue don't understand - and i do agree with the merits of the social engineering to bring this into view for those that don't see this.

Now i don't know if I would know any better/different - i don't have kids....

But good points bendog (and ones i didn't really think about)....

Now one reason i wondered if this is a form of conditioning, is with all the reports coming out of the UK on a 'terror attack immenint" has made me wonder if by slight of hand & eye if maybe we are conditioning kids to understand a long prolonged process via the TV medium.

[defenseman]

Deployment, is and always will be, part of the job. No getting around that one. Kids, in a healthy home enviroment, can deal with a parent being deployed......dman

*Just my opinion. My sons turned out fine. I was gone more often than not when I was attached to a operational boat over the years. I averaged a bit less than 3 months home per year. Didn't see alot of the family during operational assignments. My longest deployment with no break was 10 1/2 months. There was a 15 month stretch where I was home for a grand total of 3 weeks. Wasn't easy sometimes, but it is what it is.

[alkemical]

Damn dman, that's some time on the road.

[bendog]

http://www.militarycity.com/polls/2006_main.php

hmmm, it appears that even the troops are losing heart. That can't be good to deploy and know it's no use.