Disaster in the making. Help! - The Orange Mane

Old Dude · 11-15-2006, 11:07 AM

As some of you know, last Thanksgiving was not a happy time at Old Dude's house. Just as I was carving the turkey, we found out that our oldest had been in a motorcycle accident on the way to the feast. Thousands of dollars and twelve months later, we're hoping for a better day this year.

Well, guess what. The same child has decided that this year, he is making the turkey. In some kind of boiling oil contraption. BTW, he knows how to cook rice, boil hot dogs, and flip a steak on the grill, but other than that, he's not exactly Julia Child if you know what I mean.

Neither am I for that matter.

In fact, he's got me outdone in the "knows how to make rice" department.

But I've been hearing some disturbing stuff about this whole boil-the-turkey-in-oil thing. You know, about fires and explosions and stuff...

I really don't want to watch the Broncos-Chiefs game from the inside of a firetruck, or at the hospital emergency room this year.

Any tips or suggestions?

bfoflcommish · 11-15-2006, 11:24 AM

fried turkey....The best

Just make sure it is outside a good distance away from anything flammable and you'll be fine.

My cousin and I cook them in the right outside the garage with the garage door open.

Old Dude · 11-15-2006, 12:12 PM

Okay. Rule number 1, take it outside.

From what I understand, this involves heating up the oil before the turkey goes in. (?) The Turkey probably has moisture / water in it. Am I the only one who sees a problem with dropping this monster into blazing oil?

TailgateNut · 11-15-2006, 12:17 PM

Ya just can't beat deep fried turkey. It can be disaster, if you don't pepare properly.

1. Fire extinguisher nearby
2. Put the bird in the pot, and fill the pot with water to cover the bird, take the bird out ( now look at the water level, that's how much oil to put in the pot) if you are more than 3/4 full I'd get a bigger pot.
3. Completely dry your pot and your turkey (water and hot oil don't like each other.
4. Have a long thermometer in the pot at all times!!!!!
5. heat oil to deep fry temp (325-375) Don't get it to hot, or you'll end up with b;lackened turkey.
6. never get oil above 425 or you'll be running for the fire extinguisher
7. Always keep your propane tank uphill from the fryer.

Note: I like to inject my turkey with flavored juices and marinades!

Be safe and enjoy!

TailgateNut · 11-15-2006, 12:25 PM

one more quick note: if you feel uncomfortable try a cornish or a chicken first. Once you've tried it, I guarantee you'll be hooked!

Rascal · 11-15-2006, 12:31 PM

Have the ambulance and fire department on speed dial, and maybe actually invite them so they are already on standbye.

heydensmom · 11-15-2006, 12:34 PM

turn the oven on to 350, get a reynolds bag, throw it in the oven and 2-3 hours later.....you have turkey.

TailgateNut · 11-15-2006, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heydensmom

turn the oven on to 350, get a reynolds bag, throw it in the oven and 2-3 hours later.....you have turkey.

In a reynolds bag

I don't mean to criticize, but ya might as well do a TV dinner!
Banquet anyone?

heydensmom · 11-15-2006, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TailgateNut

In a reynolds bag

I don't mean to criticize, but ya might as well do a TV dinner!
Banquet anyone?

LMAO to each his own....but a self basting bag is much better than a dried out turkey...anyone...anyone..

TailgateNut · 11-15-2006, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heydensmom

LMAO to each his own....but a self basting bag is much better than a dried out turkey...anyone...anyone..

The pilgrims are turning over in their graves! Self basting= get your "SELF" off the couch every 30min and BASTE that turkey.

Billy Clyde Puckett · 11-15-2006, 01:08 PM

I am already tired of turkey just thinking about it.

heydensmom · 11-15-2006, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TailgateNut

The pilgrims are turning over in their graves! Self basting= get your "SELF" off the couch every 30min and BASTE that turkey.

Damn that was rude! Like I said to each his own....I use oven bags for more than one reason...the turkey is always juicy, clean up is much easier, and frankly less worry and more time to spend the holiday with family, which is more important than the oven bag, no bag debate here. And it also doesn't matter how the bird is cooked, it matters whats in and how it's spiced....

BMF Bronco · 11-15-2006, 01:14 PM

why am i chuckling whilst reading this thread?!

OD, I have a cousin on the Brighton Fire Dept. want me to give him a headsup?

smalltowngrll · 11-15-2006, 01:15 PM

Meat loaf....just in case it all burns!

Good luck OD....Turkey day has never been good for me, either!

BMF Bronco · 11-15-2006, 01:20 PM

This turkey day I am wallowing in my own self pity and am going to spend the weekend up at big sky!

heydensmom · 11-15-2006, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smalltowngrll

Meat loaf....just in case it all burns!

Good luck OD....Turkey day has never been good for me, either!

hehe my thanksgiving meal will consist of brats, hamburgers, chips, dips, beer...basically tailgate food

Rohirrim · 11-15-2006, 01:39 PM

Behold! The master of the turkey cometh! Fry not that bird! Start on high heat for 20 minutes. Cover the breast with a clean dish towel soaked in clarified butter. Add another pound of clarified butter to the pan. Lower the heat and baste above and below the cloth, every 15 minutes (screw Alton Brown) until done (approx. 20 minutes per pound). I put an oyster stuffing in the crop and an apple/sausage stuffing in the rear hatch. Gravy made with madeira and cognac.

smalltowngrll · 11-15-2006, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heydensmom

hehe my thanksgiving meal will consist of brats, hamburgers, chips, dips, beer...basically tailgate food

Thanksgiving has never really been a big holiday for my family. It's usually the day I turn the house into Christmas heaven! I'm not quite sure what this year entails, though. Probably nothing special.

TailgateNut · 11-15-2006, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rohirrim

Behold! The master of the turkey cometh! Fry not that bird! Start on high heat for 20 minutes. Cover the breast with a clean dish towel soaked in clarified butter. Add another pound of clarified butter to the pan. Lower the heat and baste above and below the cloth, every 15 minutes (screw Alton Brown) until done (approx. 20 minutes per pound). I put an oyster stuffing in the crop and an apple/sausage stuffing in the rear hatch. Gravy made with madeira and cognac.

dats da way, ahahah..dats da way!

I always protect the breastases and wing tips with foil and move as required to brown nice an even. Apple sausage stuffing inside with a half an orange to keep it there!

DomCasual · 11-15-2006, 02:00 PM

The best advice I can give you with the deep fried turkey thing is basically twofold:

1) Have a good cardiologist standing by; and

2) Record the whole thing on video. America's Funniest Home Videos gives away a $100K grand prize to the funniest video of the year. For potential comedy, deep fried turkeys are right behind trampolines set up under basketball backboards and right ahead of elderly people on pogo sticks.

That's all. Now go take on the day!

heydensmom · 11-15-2006, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smalltowngrll

Thanksgiving has never really been a big holiday for my family. It's usually the day I turn the house into Christmas heaven! I'm not quite sure what this year entails, though. Probably nothing special.

Usually I go all out...Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Some of the best Thanksgiving memories involve my house, my family of three and at least 10+ single soldiers/airmen at our house. When I was a young single airman, a few of us dorm rats spent the day alone, ate chow hall food, and I vowed from then on that there is a standing open invite for any single soldier/airman to enjoy a nice home cooked dinner with my family. Since we have been in recruiting duty, most his soldiers here are from Iowa and have family here. I miss those days.

Old Dude · 11-15-2006, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DomCasual

...

2) Record the whole thing on video....

Ding! I think we have a winner!

You folks have to remember that I WILL NOT BE THE FOOL WHO FRIES THE BIRD.

My job is stuffing and no one ever got hurt with bread crumbs.

Billy Clyde Puckett · 11-15-2006, 06:12 PM

Stuffing - mmmmmmm

My family is a bunch of pinko commies who don't like stuffing.

Old Dude · 11-15-2006, 06:20 PM

That's disgusting.

On the other hand, if you can figure out how to make your own, you won't have to share.

XXXII&III · 11-16-2006, 05:13 PM

I usually turn into a cooking fool for Thanksgiving, but I'm taking it off this year, heh. I might make a pan of the best stuffing** in the world and chow it down watching the game but that's about it. bah humbug!

**two kinds of sausage, apples, cranberries, and a couple slices of dark pumpernickel rye bread along with the usual white bread, the normal onion & celery & spices blah blah.

oh.my.god. i am drooling and that is not considered appropriate office behavior.

Good luck on the fried turkey, Old Dude. Can you borrow some flameproof clothing?

11-15-2006, 11:07 AM	#1
Old Dude Host Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: As if I'd tell you crazies! Posts: 14,158	Disaster in the making. Help! As some of you know, last Thanksgiving was not a happy time at Old Dude's house. Just as I was carving the turkey, we found out that our oldest had been in a motorcycle accident on the way to the feast. Thousands of dollars and twelve months later, we're hoping for a better day this year. Well, guess what. The same child has decided that this year, he is making the turkey. In some kind of boiling oil contraption. BTW, he knows how to cook rice, boil hot dogs, and flip a steak on the grill, but other than that, he's not exactly Julia Child if you know what I mean. Neither am I for that matter. In fact, he's got me outdone in the "knows how to make rice" department. But I've been hearing some disturbing stuff about this whole boil-the-turkey-in-oil thing. You know, about fires and explosions and stuff... I really don't want to watch the Broncos-Chiefs game from the inside of a firetruck, or at the hospital emergency room this year. Any tips or suggestions?

11-15-2006, 01:39 PM	#17
Rohirrim Partisan Human Cannonball Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Twixt Hell & Highwater Posts: 48,854	Behold! The master of the turkey cometh! Fry not that bird! Start on high heat for 20 minutes. Cover the breast with a clean dish towel soaked in clarified butter. Add another pound of clarified butter to the pan. Lower the heat and baste above and below the cloth, every 15 minutes (screw Alton Brown) until done (approx. 20 minutes per pound). I put an oyster stuffing in the crop and an apple/sausage stuffing in the rear hatch. Gravy made with madeira and cognac. Last edited by Rohirrim; 11-15-2006 at 01:44 PM..

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11-15-2006, 11:24 AM	#2
bfoflcommish Time for Broncos Football GO..........BRONCOS Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Mile High Posts: 3,305 Adopt-a-Bronco: Steve Atwater	fried turkey....The best Just make sure it is outside a good distance away from anything flammable and you'll be fine. My cousin and I cook them in the right outside the garage with the garage door open.

11-15-2006, 12:12 PM	#3
Old Dude Host Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: As if I'd tell you crazies! Posts: 14,158	Okay. Rule number 1, take it outside. From what I understand, this involves heating up the oil before the turkey goes in. (?) The Turkey probably has moisture / water in it. Am I the only one who sees a problem with dropping this monster into blazing oil?

11-15-2006, 12:17 PM	#4
TailgateNut Bleedin' orange! .......as much as tebonites Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Mile High Posts: 20,018 Adopt-a-Bronco: Howard Griffith	Ya just can't beat deep fried turkey. It can be disaster, if you don't pepare properly. 1. Fire extinguisher nearby 2. Put the bird in the pot, and fill the pot with water to cover the bird, take the bird out ( now look at the water level, that's how much oil to put in the pot) if you are more than 3/4 full I'd get a bigger pot. 3. Completely dry your pot and your turkey (water and hot oil don't like each other. 4. Have a long thermometer in the pot at all times!!!!! 5. heat oil to deep fry temp (325-375) Don't get it to hot, or you'll end up with b;lackened turkey. 6. never get oil above 425 or you'll be running for the fire extinguisher 7. Always keep your propane tank uphill from the fryer. Note: I like to inject my turkey with flavored juices and marinades! Be safe and enjoy!

11-15-2006, 12:25 PM	#5
TailgateNut Bleedin' orange! .......as much as tebonites Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Mile High Posts: 20,018 Adopt-a-Bronco: Howard Griffith	one more quick note: if you feel uncomfortable try a cornish or a chicken first. Once you've tried it, I guarantee you'll be hooked!

11-15-2006, 12:31 PM	#6
Rascal RIP Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 16,581 Adopt-a-Bronco: Turf	Have the ambulance and fire department on speed dial, and maybe actually invite them so they are already on standbye.

11-15-2006, 12:34 PM	#7
heydensmom I'm Jack Bauer! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Iowa Posts: 3,577	turn the oven on to 350, get a reynolds bag, throw it in the oven and 2-3 hours later.....you have turkey.

11-15-2006, 01:08 PM	#11
Billy Clyde Puckett Billy=Semi Tough Big Guy Looking down on KC, SD and Oakland Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: between 5,000 and 10,000 feet elevation Posts: 12,665 Adopt-a-Bronco: John Elway	I am already tired of turkey just thinking about it.

11-15-2006, 01:14 PM	#13
BMF Bronco Offseason sucks... Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Bozeman, MT Posts: 11,724 Adopt-a-Bronco: ME	why am i chuckling whilst reading this thread?! OD, I have a cousin on the Brighton Fire Dept. want me to give him a headsup?

11-15-2006, 01:15 PM	#14
smalltowngrll Orange Blue Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Bend, OR Posts: 8,038 Adopt-a-Bronco: dortoh	Meat loaf....just in case it all burns! Good luck OD....Turkey day has never been good for me, either!

11-15-2006, 01:20 PM	#15
BMF Bronco Offseason sucks... Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Bozeman, MT Posts: 11,724 Adopt-a-Bronco: ME	This turkey day I am wallowing in my own self pity and am going to spend the weekend up at big sky!

11-15-2006, 02:00 PM	#20
DomCasual The Dude abides. Shameless Homer Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Cocytus Posts: 13,173 Adopt-a-Bronco: Gus Frerotte	The best advice I can give you with the deep fried turkey thing is basically twofold: 1) Have a good cardiologist standing by; and 2) Record the whole thing on video. America's Funniest Home Videos gives away a $100K grand prize to the funniest video of the year. For potential comedy, deep fried turkeys are right behind trampolines set up under basketball backboards and right ahead of elderly people on pogo sticks. That's all. Now go take on the day!

11-15-2006, 06:12 PM	#23
Billy Clyde Puckett Billy=Semi Tough Big Guy Looking down on KC, SD and Oakland Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: between 5,000 and 10,000 feet elevation Posts: 12,665 Adopt-a-Bronco: John Elway	Stuffing - mmmmmmm My family is a bunch of pinko commies who don't like stuffing.

11-15-2006, 06:20 PM	#24
Old Dude Host Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: As if I'd tell you crazies! Posts: 14,158	That's disgusting. On the other hand, if you can figure out how to make your own, you won't have to share.

11-16-2006, 05:13 PM	#25
XXXII&III Pro Bowler Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Aurora Posts: 503	I usually turn into a cooking fool for Thanksgiving, but I'm taking it off this year, heh. I might make a pan of the best stuffing in the world and chow it down watching the game but that's about it. bah humbug! two kinds of sausage, apples, cranberries, and a couple slices of dark pumpernickel rye bread along with the usual white bread, the normal onion & celery & spices blah blah. oh.my.god. i am drooling and that is not considered appropriate office behavior. Good luck on the fried turkey, Old Dude. Can you borrow some flameproof clothing?