Parody on the Consevative and Progressives in the Episcpal Church

[bendog]

Not of great interest to most of you, but I thought it was funny

http://thewitness.org/agw/hoffacker090503.html

[bendog]

Late Friday afternoon, Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams announced, unexpectedly, that he was stepping down, after efforts to reach a compromise over whether homosexuals would receive the sacrament of marriage and be received as Priests and Bishops, or whether they would merely be welcomed as fellow laity, as they have been for decades, with the issue being revisited in another decade or so, bogged down. “Bloody sod of a job, right kick in the bullocks, what. Or, as you Americans say, ‘take this job and shove it.”

Asked about his future plans, he said, “I’m moving to Northern Australia, where I intend to establish a “zoo” for dangerous wild animals that have had their nesting grounds disturbed by encroaching agricultural and urban use, and I am starting a television show, in which I will visit largely unknown locations to effectuate daring rescues of these dangerous beasts.

President W. Bush expressed interest in the job. “Ah know ah left y’all to become a meth-a-dist with Laura ... they can drink too, ya know ... an then I sorta got that God’s talkin’ just ta me thing, but dang it them DemoRats are about to ‘inscreech me.”

Initially opposed, the Archbishop seemed to warm to the idea. “Well, I rather think only Paul Wolfowitz could make more a cock-up of it, but then he’s a Jew. Still, President W. Bush has bankrupted the greatest economy known to history, and taken the world’s mightiest army into a third world desert the size of Texas, where he apparently has lost it, in a waddi or something. I rather like the idea of his leading the Church. The notion of the holy spirit, with a bit of man’s help, giving everyone what they so richly deserve.”

Presiding Bishop Jeffries-Schori and Wannabe Archbishop Ankinola surprised each other by issuing simultaneous, and identical, calls to Anglican outrage. “The notion of an Archbishop abdicating and naming his own replacement have no basis in scripture, ecclesiastical law or tradition.” Bishop Duncan was more direct, “Has the old fool turned queer?”

Archbishop Williams issued a short statement, the contents of which are being parsed syllable by syllable for their true meaning. “The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.”

President W. Bush said, “diplomacy’s hard work. People won’t do what I tell them.”

[alkemical]

Interesting 'dog -