Forum Loser Power Ratings

[-Slap-]

Official Countdown of the Worst Posters on the Orange Mane:

Loser Number 10: WaffleBoy

Why he sucks: Front runner. Troll. Shows up talking when his latest bandwagon team wins, but rarely seen when they lose

Defining moment: Feigning offense when people accused him of craving Big Ben's love juice.

Good points: Okay, this was a tough pick right off the bat. Personally, I don't mind Waffle, but the nearly universal contempt he generates cannot be ignored.

Potential for redemption: He would have to want to change and that's not going to happen.

The bubble picks were Smelvin and Errand. I disqualified Smelvin because he's more of a personal groupie of mine rather than an overall board nuisance. Errand just sucks the life out of any thread quicker than anybody I've ever seen.

Loser Number 9: yavoon

Why he sucks: Drama King in Shorthand. Almost unbelievably argumentative. Seems to get along with virtually no other posters. Most of his discussions degenerate into name calling.

Defining moment: Rolling into Dodge and declaring some crap WR for Cleveland (forget who offhand) is better than Rod Smith.

Good points: Sometimes raises solid points. Not afraid to argue the unpopular side of an argument.

Potential for redemption: Too miserable as a human being to ever be likable.

Loser Number 8: W*GS

Why he sucks: Non-Bronco fan/right wing ideologue. Whined about the goddamn stadium issue non-stop for five straight years. Jealous of Bowlen's money and making us suffer as a result.

Defining moment: N/A. Fortunately, I don't see him enough to pick one lowlight.

Good points: He mainly posts on threads I have no interest in opening.

Potential for redemption: None.

Loser Number 7: GonzoLays -

Why he sucks: Fancies himself a provocative iconoclast, but he's really just a race baiting attention whore. Besmirches the memory of the great Richard Pryor by attaching his avatar image to one crappy take after another.

Defining moment: Trolls too consistently to narrow down one particular thread or post.

Good points: Shows flashes of rudimentary sports knowledge when he forgets his schtick is to be an annoying asshat 24/7.

Potential for redemption: Unlikely. Too fascinated by his own immaturity.

Losers Number 6 and 5: Iowanian and crazyhorse

Why they suck: They're Chief fans. Unduly impressed by their own repartee. Nothing is worse than the dullard who believes he's witty and that sums up both of these guys.

Newsflash, goofballs. A person's sense of humor is unique to that particular individual. Obviously, that means we all think our own jokes are funny. Most people aren't funny. Both of you combined don't equal one clever poster. Perhaps you should pool IQs and begin posting as one moron.

Defining moments: Crazyhorse sending me rep that "complimented" me by saying my post sounded like something he would say.

Good points: They don't suck as badly as Eye Patch.

Potential for redemption: They're Chief fans. Not bloody likely.

Loser Number 4: Watermock

Why he sucks: There are 57,000 reasons.

Defining moment: Pick a banning, any banning.

Good points: Somewhat humbled by the recent game of WhackaMock that breaks out whenever he posts something off topic these days.

Potential for redemption: Truthfully, the thrice-banned former board bad boy has cleaned up his act a little bit already. He still sucks, though.

Loser Number 3: Bob's Your Information Minister

Why he sucks: Craves abuse and demands ritual beatdowns on a daily basis.

Defining moment: Banned for disrespecting the Son of God.

Good point: People find a cathartic release in treating him like a bloated virgin punching bag.

Potential for redemption: Minimal. Obviously, Knob's a closet Bronco fan, but he knows he would incur even more wrath if he officially switched allegiances.

Loser Number 2: MajikMan7

Why he sucks: Generation Why slacker. Has never posted anything worthwhile and its likely he never will. His parents must feel dead inside when they look at him.

Defining moment: The amazing gayness of his collection of hair care products.

Good point: Favorite player is a Polish/American.

Potential for redemption: He might grow up some day.

And the Number 1 Forum Loser for the Summer of 2006: Angry Llama

Why he sucks: Biggest drama king on the Mane. Biggest poser on the Mane. Bizarre compulsion to immerse himself in mindless hype over this week's favorite athlete. Author of spectacular hissy fit meltdowns when his teams inevitably choke. No sense of perspective or slightest inkling of how he's perceived on this board.

Defining moment: Predicting a sweep for the Mavs in The Finals and then disappearing for several days after they inevitably choked.

Good points: His transparent and pretentious affectations, and inability to handle defeat like an adult, make him ripe for parody.

Potential for redemption: I hope he never changes.

[Garcia Bronco]

Man...that ****'s kinda mean. ...peep the sig

[Mtbrncofn]

Btw, Slappy that receiver that was the second coming of Jerry Rice that yavoon harped on was Dennis Northcutt.

[Rausch]

Iowanian is plenty witty. I'm sure even Taco would back that...

[Dr. Broncenstein]

Iowanian and Crazyhorse don't belong on this list... even if they root for the Chorfs... especially when Smurf and LABF go unmentioned

[Clockwork Orange]

This has HOF potential written all over it.

[ludo21]

Wow, much rep for writing that all out.

I suppose this will be one of the best last offseason threads.

Season is almost here, Cant wait!

[Pezman]

Suck mah baows Rausch..

Sorry, I had a Bridowanian moment

[Pezman]

Can we nominate a hall of fame for retired chumps?

BeckyJ4, Eye Patch, Ketchup Boy KHeinz57 and Fin-atic would be my first choices

[Mtbrncofn]

Originally Posted by Dr. Broncenstein

Iowanian and Crazyhorse don't belong on this list... even if they root for the Chorfs... especially when Smurf and LABF go unmentioned

The doc's got a great point here, Slappy. Smurf deserves to be there.

[epicSocialism4tw]

Originally Posted by -Slap-

Official Countdown of the Worst Posters on the Orange Mane:

Thanks, Slap.

I'm glad to know that I have effected you so strongly.

Did you forget your Haldol?

[Play2win]

Originally Posted by Pezman

Can we nominate a hall of fame for retired chumps?

BeckyJ4, Eye Patch, Ketchup Boy KHeinz57 and Fin-atic would be my first choices

OHHHH, Ketchup BOY... Totally forgot about that little wench...

[watermock]

As usual, you just made assertions. Why didn't you make a poll that includes yourself since you simply made a list on your own personal opinion...completely typical?

[DomCasual]

I'm thinking of a word, and it starts with L.A. Bronco Fan.

[Taco John]

Originally Posted by Rausch

Iowanian is plenty witty. I'm sure even Taco would back that...

Iowanian is funny when he's not too busy taking himself too seriously.

[Vegas_Bronco]

These OM idealists almost have their own followers too - that is the scariest side of this whole post - there are other posters taking on their attributes! Or they just have double accounts! So if you have 2 accounts, as Shannahan said, TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS THE WAY A MAN WOULD DO IT and get rid of your worthless sidekicks or at least admit you have an Ashley in the closet.

[DomCasual]

Originally Posted by Vegas_Bronco

These OM idealists almost have their own followers too - that is the scariest side of this whole post - there are other posters taking on their attributes! Or they just have double accounts! So if you have 2 accounts, as Shannahan said, TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS THE WAY A MAN WOULD DO IT and get rid of your worthless sidekicks or at least admit you have an Ashley in the closet.

Dude, I have no idea what you just said.

[-Slap-]

Originally Posted by watermock

As usual, you just made assertions. Why didn't you make a poll that includes yourself since you simply made a list on your own personal opinion...completely typical?

I'm making that list right now. Its called the Forum Cool Guy Power Ratings. I'm Number One with a bullet, baby!

[Taco John]

I'll never forget when yavoon rolled in with the "Dennis Northcutt is better than Rod Smith" take. I've always kind of conjured the image of a guy walking into a Mensa meeting wearing a sandwich board, strolling to the front row, taking off the advertisement, having a seat, and then interrupting the guest speaker at every new point to argue about the price of chicken.

[Florida_Bronco]

Originally Posted by -Slap-

I'm making that list right now. Its called the Forum Cool Guy Power Ratings. I'm Number One with a bullet, baby!

I'll vote for ya!

[kamakazi_kal]

i agree fully about the hair care product guy,,,,, and if crazyhorse would just paint that damn car in his av i might not dislike him so much.

bob......well ..........

[-Slap-]

Originally Posted by DomCasual

Dude, I have no idea what you just said.

He's referencing the Regulars who adopt fake personas for hijinks or to argue unpopular points of view.

I know what he's talking about. Sometimes I get blasted by some supposed Newb, who give themselves away by spouting forum history that's three years old.

[Pezman]

Originally Posted by Taco John

I'll never forget when yavoon rolled in with the "Dennis Northcutt is better than Rod Smith" take. I've always kind of conjured the image of a guy walking into a Mensa meeting wearing a sandwich board, strolling to the front row, taking off the advertisement, having a seat, and then interrupting the guest speaker at every new point to argue about the price of chicken.

You're on a roll tonight big daddy

[Taco John]

You forgot that Bob's defining moment happened within a week of Christmas... give or take a few days...

[Mtbrncofn]

Originally Posted by Taco John

You forgot that Bob's defining moment happened within a week of Christmas... give or take a few days...

Damn, I must have been heavy into Christmas prep because how the hell did I miss that one?!