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Old 06-23-2006, 02:56 PM   #1
Clockwork Orange
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Default The Stella Awards

Got this in an e-mail and thought I'd share. Really a ringing endorsement of our legal system.
-----------------------
Time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards."
The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled
hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM). That
case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous,
successful lawsuits in the United States.

Here are this year's winners:

5th Place (tie):
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000. by a jury of
her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th Place (tie):
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses
when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman
apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when
he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place (tie):
Terrence *****on of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.
He couldn't re-enter the house because the door
connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The
family was on vacation, and Mr. *****on found himself locked in the
garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a
large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming
the situation caused him undue mental anguish.

The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000. In my opinion this is so
outrageous that it should have been 2nd Place!

4th Place:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $1 4,500 and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's
beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award
was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just
a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the
fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, $113,500. after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a
night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window
to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while
Ms. Walton was trying to sneak thro u gh the window in the ladies room to
avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge . She was awarded $12,000 and dental
expenses.

1st Place:
This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor
home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven
onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left
the driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not
surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual
that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000.
plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the
basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons
around.
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Old 06-23-2006, 03:27 PM   #2
Mtbrncofn
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Bwahahahaahaha! I've gotten this one before and laughed myself silly over it. Talk about asshats.
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Old 06-23-2006, 03:59 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clockwork Orange
3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, $113,500. after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
I was at a McDonald's once and a drink on my tray spilled on the floor. It probably wasn't more than 10 seconds that someone rushed out to mop it up. I guess they are getting really tired of being sued all the time...
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Old 06-23-2006, 05:31 PM   #4
Alkazar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clockwork Orange
1st Place:
This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor
home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven
onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left
the driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not
surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual
that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000.
plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the
basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons
around.
This one is especially funny for me considering I work for the "Good Sam RV Owner's Club!
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Old 06-25-2006, 11:09 AM   #5
Breck Bronc
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As with most emails of this nature, the Stella awards are not true.

http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp
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Old 06-25-2006, 06:54 PM   #6
Mtbrncofn
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Geez, Breck....you big party pooper. Way to ruin the fun.
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