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Old 01-09-2006, 05:17 PM   #1
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Default Tedy Bruschi v. Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris has 2 speeds - walk and kill.

God wanted 10 days to create the Earth. Tedy Bruschi gave him 6.

Every year on his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Tedy Bruschi isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Tedy Bruschi.
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Old 01-09-2006, 05:21 PM   #2
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Just so you know teddy rotated the tires on the OF1 the man can do anything!
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Old 01-09-2006, 05:32 PM   #3
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Bruschi travelled back in time to save President Kennedy. He jumped in front of the Magic Bullet and destroyed it with his pecs. Kennedy was so amazed, his head exploded.
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Old 01-09-2006, 05:46 PM   #4
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Who would win in fight between Ali and 6 mini-Tedy Bruschi's?

Ali Homefield advantage.


6 mini-Tedy Bruschi
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Old 01-09-2006, 05:46 PM   #5
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Ted Bruschi uses ribbed condems inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
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Old 01-09-2006, 05:50 PM   #6
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Tedy Bruschi only takes off the Helmet for one thing...and it ain't sleepin'
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Old 01-09-2006, 05:53 PM   #7
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Teddy Bruschi is like Mario Lemieux and Keith Richards to me.....these guys are not human, they survive anything and everything and keep coming back to kick your ass again and again.....much like The Terminator.....it's hard not to admire these alien beings.

Of course ESPN has already stated that we have no chance, we're in trouble and yadda, yadda, yadda...so I guess we should just pack everything up and go home....even more reason to defy the so-called experts and dispatch the Pats with total aplomb. You know how that would be received? Take all the whining, sobbing and moaning about Palmer and Taylor and multiply it by 100.

I'm really looking forward to that.
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Old 01-09-2006, 05:56 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Garcia Bronco
Who would win in fight between Ali and 6 mini-Tedy Bruschi's?

Ali Homefield advantage.


6 mini-Tedy Bruschi

The real question 6 mini-Brushi vs 6 mini-Ditkas who wins? Yah, there fighting in a toronado too.
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:00 PM   #9
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I remember one time I was thinking bad thoughts about Tedy Bruschi when suddenly he entered my mind (whether in physical form, or ethereal, I know not) and kicked my brain's ass. When I awakened, I was laying face down, naked in the mud, destroyed and disoriented. The only evidence that remained from the incident was three large ring marks and one small thumb-knuckle indentation across my right cheek. Even though I looked awful and appeared to be shamed, people came from all around the land to lick my sweat in hopes to absorb any Bruschi residue that remained.

True story.
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:13 PM   #10
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Teddy Bruschi once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road.

The Bruschi family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong.

Teddy Bruschi named the group Sha-Na-Na. They did NOT want to be called that.

Teddy Bruschi taught me how to make love to a woman, and how to scold a child.

One time I was with Bruschi in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Bruschi goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm TEDDY BRUSCHI! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'tedeebrewski' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!




That Teddy Bruschi is a sonofab****.
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:15 PM   #11
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When Tedy Bruschi does a pushup, he's not pushing himself up, he's pushing the world down.
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:17 PM   #12
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Teddy Bruschi once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:17 PM   #13
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Teddy drives a M1A1 / M1A2 ABRAMS tank to practice.
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:21 PM   #14
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Whatever he hits, HE DESTROYS!!!

rocky 4
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:25 PM   #15
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If Tedy ever has sex with a man, it doesn't mean he's gay, it means he's already had sex with every woman on Earth
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:30 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elsid13
The real question 6 mini-Brushi vs 6 mini-Ditkas who wins? Yah, there fighting in a toronado too.


That's a close one.........diffenately 6-mini-Brushi's
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:31 PM   #17
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@ this thread
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:31 PM   #18
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George Bush doesn't sign a law...unless Tedy Bruschi says so.
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:34 PM   #19
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Bruschi gave John Elway life .............
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:35 PM   #20
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Ted Kennedy...doesn't drink unless Tedy Bruschi says so.
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:35 PM   #21
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Teddy gave birth to one of his kids so his wife could go to the gym.
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:37 PM   #22
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Tedy Bruschi has hand.
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:38 PM   #23
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When Tedy Bruschi goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Tedy Bruschi and forgot to pay him back.

When Tedy Bruschi was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Tedy Bruschi!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Tedy Bruschi could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Crop circles are Tedy's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.

Tedy Bruschi can count backwards from infinity.

When Tedy Bruschi jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Bruschi'd instead.

Tedy Bruschi is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Tedy Bruschi can divide by zero.

Tedy Bruschi has two speeds: walk and kill.

Tedy Bruschi is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's ****.

Tedy Bruschi can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

You are what you eat. That is why Tedy Bruschi's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

Tedy Bruschi once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Tedy Bruschi, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

Tedy Bruschi is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

When Tedy Bruschi had his first wet dream, he nearly drowned.

Tedy Bruschi played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

If you were to lock Tedy Bruschi in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Tedy replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

Tedy Bruschi doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while ****ing another.

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Tedy Bruschi punched himself in the face.

Tedy Bruschi invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Tedy Bruschi coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:40 PM   #24
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Teddy Bruschi has a toenail on the end of his penis and he uses a rattlesnake as a condom
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:42 PM   #25
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Teddy Bruschi beer bongs an oxen's meunstral cycle before playoff games
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