A Girl of Courage - The Orange Mane

Atlas · 03-22-2006, 09:19 PM

This is a must read.

Child Bride
Posted by Kevin Sites
on Mon, Mar 20 2006, 4:55 PM ET Video Audio Photo Essay

SoCals Link: http://hotzone.yahoo.com/b/hotzone/blogs2986

Married at the age of four, an Afghan girl was subjected to years of beatings and torture, finally escaping to discover that within all the world's cruelty, there is also some kindness.

KABUL, Afghanistan - Eleven-year old Gulsoma lay in a heap on the ground in front of her father-in-law. He told her that if she didn't find a missing watch by the next morning he would kill her. He almost had already.

Enraged about the missing watch, Gulsoma's father-in-law had beaten her repeatedly with a stick. She was bleeding from wounds all over her body and her right arm and right foot had been broken.

She knew at that moment that if she didn't get away, he would make good on his promise to kill her.

When I meet her at the Ministry of Women's Affairs I'm surprised that the little girl, now 12, is the same one that had endured such horrible suffering. She is wearing a red baseball cap and an orange scarf. She has beautiful brown eyes and a full and animated smile. She takes one of my hands in both of hers and greets me warmly, without any hint of shyness.

"She looks healthy," says Haroon, my friend and translator. I nod. But she looks older than her years, we both agree. In orphanages — first in Kandahar, then in Kabul — she has had a year to recover from a lifetime's worth of unimaginable imprisonment, deprivation and torture.

In one of the ministry's offices she sits in a straight-backed wooden chair and tells us the story of her life so far. She is stoic for the most part, pausing only a few times to wipe her eyes and nose with her scarf.

Her story begins in the village of Mullah Allam Akhound, near Kandahar.

"When I was three years old my father died, and after a year my mother married again, but her second husband didn't want me," says Gulsoma. "So my mother gave me away in a promise of marriage to our neighbor's oldest son, who was thirty."

"They had a ceremony in which I was placed on a horse [which is traditional in Afghanistan] and given to the man."

Because she was still a child, the marriage was not expected to be sexually consummated. But within a year, Gulsoma learned that so much else would be required of her that she would become a virtual slave in the household.

At the age of five, she was forced to take care of not only her "husband" but also his parents and all 12 of their other children as well.

Though nearly the entire family participated in the abuse, her father-in-law, she says, was the cruelest.

"My father-in-law asked me to do everything — laundry, the household chores — and the only time I was able to sleep in the house was when they had guests over," she says. "Other than that I would have to sleep outside on a piece of carpet without even any blankets. In the summer it was okay. But in the winter a neighbor would come over and give me a blanket, and sometimes some food."

When she couldn't keep up with the workload, Gulsoma says, she was beaten constantly.

Gulsoma's scars

"They beat me with electric wires," she says, "mostly on the legs. My father-in-law told his other children to do it that way so the injuries would be hidden. He said to them, 'break her bones, but don't hit her on the face.'"

There were even times when the family's abuse of Gulsoma transcended the bounds of the most wanton, sadistic cruelty, as on the occasions when they used her as a human tabletop, forcing her to lie on her stomach then cutting their food on her bare back.

Gulsoma says the family had one boy her age, named Atiqullah, who refused to take part in her torture.

"He would sneak me food sometimes and when my mother-in-law told him to find a stick to beat me, he would come back say he couldn't find one," she says. "He would try to stop the others sometimes. He would say 'she is my sister, and this is sinful.' Sometimes I think about him and wish he could be here and I wish I could have him as my brother."

One evening, Gulsoma says, when her father-in-law saw the neighbor giving her food and a blanket, he took them away and beat her mercilessly. Then, she says, he locked her in a shed for two months.

"I would be kept there all day," she says, "then at night they would let me go the bathroom and I would be fed one time each day. Most of the time it was only bread and sometimes some beans."

She says every day she was locked in the shed, she wished and prayed that her parents would come and take her away. Then she would remember that her father was dead and her mother was gone.

But Gulsoma had an inner strength even her father-in-law couldn't comprehend.

"When he came to the shed he kept asking me, 'Why don't you die? I imprisoned you, I give you less food, but still you don't die.'"

But it wasn't for lack of trying. Gulsoma said when her father-in-law finally let her out of the shed, he bound her hands behind her back and beat her unconscious. She says he revived her by pouring a tea thermos filling with scalding water over her head and her back.

"It was so painful," she says, dabbing her eyes with her scarf and sniffling for a moment. "I was crying and screaming the entire time."

Five days later, she says, her father in law gave her a vicious beating when his daughter's wristwatch went missing.

"He thought I stole it," she says, "and he beat me all over my body with his stick. He broke my arm and my foot. He said if I didn't find it by the next day, he would kill me."

Gulsoma found hope after escaping

She crawled away that night and hid under a rickshaw. When the rickshaw driver found Gulsoma, broken and bleeding, he listened to her story and took her to the police. She was hospitalized immediately.

"The doctor at the hospital who treated me said, 'I wish I could take you to the village square and show all the people what happened to you, so no one would ever do something like this again,'" Gulsoma says.

It took her a full month to recover from her last beating. But the fear and psychological trauma may never go away.

"I was happy to have a bed and food at the hospital," she says. "But I was thinking that when I get better they will give me back to the family."

However, Gulsoma says when the police questioned the family, the father-in-law lied and tried to tell them she had epilepsy and had fallen down and hurt herself. But the neighbor who had helped Gulsoma confirmed the story of her beatings and torture.

The police arrested her father-in-law and "husband." They told her, she says, they would keep them in jail unless she asked for their release.

"Everyone was crying when they heard my story," Gulsoma says.

Gulsoma says she stayed at an orphanage in Kandahar, but was the only girl in the facility. Eventually, her story was brought to the attention of the Ministry of Women's Affairs.

The toll of torture

Gulsoma was then brought to a Kabul orphanage, where she lives today. She takes off her baseball cap and shows us a bald spot, almost like a medieval monk's tonsure, on the crown of her head where she was scalded.

She then turns her back and raises her shirt to reveal a sad map of scar tissue and keloids from cuts, bruises and the boiling water.

Haroon and I look at each other with disbelief. Her life's tragic story is etched upon her back.

Yet she continues to smile. She doesn't ask for pity. She seems more concerned about us as she reads the shock on our faces.

"I feel better now," she says. "I have friends at the orphanage. But every night I'm still afraid the family will come here and pick me up."

Gulsoma also says that when the sun goes down, she sometimes begins to shiver involuntarily — a reaction to the seven years of sleeping outdoors, sometimes in the bitter cold of the desert night.

She says she believes there are other girls like her in Kandahar, maybe elsewhere in Afghanistan, and that she wants to study human rights and one day go back to help them.

As we walk outside to take some pictures, I ask her if, after all she's been through, she thinks it will be harder to trust, to believe that there are actually good people in the world.

"No," she says, quickly.

"I didn't expect anyone would help me but God. I was really surprised that there were also nice people: the neighbor, the rickshaw driver, the police," she says. "I pray for those who helped release me."

Looking directly into the camera, she smiles as if nothing bad had ever happened to her in her entire life.

"I think that all people are good people," she says, "except for those that hurt me."

Atlas · 03-22-2006, 09:24 PM

These are even more must reads.

Children write to Gulsoma. It is very touching.

SoCals link: http://hotzone.yahoo.com/b/hotzone/blogs3046

"Dear Gulsoma, I am 12, also, and I can't imagine going through that. I am so proud that you kept the faith and kept praying, and that you weren't bitter. You Have such joy! Not happiness, joy. Grace form Michigan"

"I'm 12 as well and it frightens me just to think of such torture, much less experience it. Gulsoma, if you ever read this, please know that this is a wonderful and inspiring story that I will be sure to share."

"Hi Gulsoma, My mom showed me your story and I am very sorry for.(my mom let me write this post) I want you to keep you head up high and find a mother and father that will take very good care of you. I am also 12 years old and cannot believe what they did to you! I cried...my mom cried i bet America would cry. you are very brave and a very strong girl. My mom said she wished she could adopt you. I will pray for you..May God Bless You! Your Friend, Miranda"

"Gulsoma, I am a 13 year old girl my mom showed me your story. I have no idea what to say. All I can say to you is thank you, thank you for opening my eyes. I thought I went through bad things but this is a story that has really helped me to see that I am really lucky. I am happy to say to you that now you are in a better place. Although I'm a year older than you I read your story and was amazed that in your pictures all you could do was smile. That all you wanted to do was smile. It is a very hard thing but you made it through and you are a very beautiful girl I'm am very happy for you to be in the place you are now and to be out of the horrible place you were before. Remeber to keep your head high and don't look back just look towards the future. And always remeber I will pray for you and God is watching over you."

"I'm glad this has not effected the way you feel about people. There are good people in the world and i am one of them i am 12 just like you and i can't even imagine that treatment."

"oh my gosh i am 11 and i could never imagine my family doing something like that to me.Gulsoma you had a lot of courage and a lot of faith keep believing that there is a god and pray for the other children around the world who are suffering like you. MAy you find a new family and a better lifestyle. God Bless You and forever take care of you."
Gulsoma, I am 11 years old. It hurt me to read your story and see what pain and saddness that you endured. I am so sorry for what happened to you!!!!! Madi"

"Deat Gulsoma, i am so sorry abt yr abuse. i am 11 years old. i am so sad reading abt you.i just want u to know that even tho there are bad people around, there also good people too. Get up and enjoy yourself, don't think about the past anymore. ChewLiLi, Malaysia"

"i can't believe that you are my age and have gone through all of that. you are an amazing person that now deserves a good life! i hope you get it. they should never let the people who did this to you out of jail. you are very strong. -Megan from Colorado of the U.S.A."

Meck77 · 03-22-2006, 09:35 PM

Wow..........You guys can bash the war effort all you want but atleast there is some hope for the women of Afghanistan and hopefully Iraq in the future.

Bronx33 · 03-22-2006, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meck77

Wow..........You guys can bash the war effort all you want but atleast there is some hope for the women of Afghanistan and hopefully Iraq in the future.

The women have more balls then the men will ever have (figuratively of course)

gunns · 03-22-2006, 10:04 PM

What a sad, wonderful story! Such an example of how strong the human spirit can really be, something some of us may never find out. How wonderful her view is now of seeing the good of those that helped. Astonishing! Yet I don't see what the war has to do with this story as all the good and bad are Afghani's and didn't become good or bad because of the war.

Atlas · 03-22-2006, 10:34 PM

Who is going to bash the War in Afghanistan. That is the one just war we have fought. Too bad most of the troops are in Iraq instead of where they are needed.

Anyway that is neither here nor there. If you want to click on the link of the story you can e mail the girl some words of encouragement, and they'll make sure she gets them.

03-22-2006, 09:19 PM	#1
Atlas Draft Defense Early&Often Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 18,526	A Girl of Courage This is a must read. Child Bride Posted by Kevin Sites on Mon, Mar 20 2006, 4:55 PM ET Video Audio Photo Essay SoCals Link: http://hotzone.yahoo.com/b/hotzone/blogs2986 Married at the age of four, an Afghan girl was subjected to years of beatings and torture, finally escaping to discover that within all the world's cruelty, there is also some kindness. KABUL, Afghanistan - Eleven-year old Gulsoma lay in a heap on the ground in front of her father-in-law. He told her that if she didn't find a missing watch by the next morning he would kill her. He almost had already. Enraged about the missing watch, Gulsoma's father-in-law had beaten her repeatedly with a stick. She was bleeding from wounds all over her body and her right arm and right foot had been broken. She knew at that moment that if she didn't get away, he would make good on his promise to kill her. When I meet her at the Ministry of Women's Affairs I'm surprised that the little girl, now 12, is the same one that had endured such horrible suffering. She is wearing a red baseball cap and an orange scarf. She has beautiful brown eyes and a full and animated smile. She takes one of my hands in both of hers and greets me warmly, without any hint of shyness. "She looks healthy," says Haroon, my friend and translator. I nod. But she looks older than her years, we both agree. In orphanages — first in Kandahar, then in Kabul — she has had a year to recover from a lifetime's worth of unimaginable imprisonment, deprivation and torture. In one of the ministry's offices she sits in a straight-backed wooden chair and tells us the story of her life so far. She is stoic for the most part, pausing only a few times to wipe her eyes and nose with her scarf. Her story begins in the village of Mullah Allam Akhound, near Kandahar. "When I was three years old my father died, and after a year my mother married again, but her second husband didn't want me," says Gulsoma. "So my mother gave me away in a promise of marriage to our neighbor's oldest son, who was thirty." "They had a ceremony in which I was placed on a horse [which is traditional in Afghanistan] and given to the man." Because she was still a child, the marriage was not expected to be sexually consummated. But within a year, Gulsoma learned that so much else would be required of her that she would become a virtual slave in the household. At the age of five, she was forced to take care of not only her "husband" but also his parents and all 12 of their other children as well. Though nearly the entire family participated in the abuse, her father-in-law, she says, was the cruelest. "My father-in-law asked me to do everything — laundry, the household chores — and the only time I was able to sleep in the house was when they had guests over," she says. "Other than that I would have to sleep outside on a piece of carpet without even any blankets. In the summer it was okay. But in the winter a neighbor would come over and give me a blanket, and sometimes some food." When she couldn't keep up with the workload, Gulsoma says, she was beaten constantly. Gulsoma's scars "They beat me with electric wires," she says, "mostly on the legs. My father-in-law told his other children to do it that way so the injuries would be hidden. He said to them, 'break her bones, but don't hit her on the face.'" There were even times when the family's abuse of Gulsoma transcended the bounds of the most wanton, sadistic cruelty, as on the occasions when they used her as a human tabletop, forcing her to lie on her stomach then cutting their food on her bare back. Gulsoma says the family had one boy her age, named Atiqullah, who refused to take part in her torture. "He would sneak me food sometimes and when my mother-in-law told him to find a stick to beat me, he would come back say he couldn't find one," she says. "He would try to stop the others sometimes. He would say 'she is my sister, and this is sinful.' Sometimes I think about him and wish he could be here and I wish I could have him as my brother." One evening, Gulsoma says, when her father-in-law saw the neighbor giving her food and a blanket, he took them away and beat her mercilessly. Then, she says, he locked her in a shed for two months. "I would be kept there all day," she says, "then at night they would let me go the bathroom and I would be fed one time each day. Most of the time it was only bread and sometimes some beans." She says every day she was locked in the shed, she wished and prayed that her parents would come and take her away. Then she would remember that her father was dead and her mother was gone. But Gulsoma had an inner strength even her father-in-law couldn't comprehend. "When he came to the shed he kept asking me, 'Why don't you die? I imprisoned you, I give you less food, but still you don't die.'" But it wasn't for lack of trying. Gulsoma said when her father-in-law finally let her out of the shed, he bound her hands behind her back and beat her unconscious. She says he revived her by pouring a tea thermos filling with scalding water over her head and her back. "It was so painful," she says, dabbing her eyes with her scarf and sniffling for a moment. "I was crying and screaming the entire time." Five days later, she says, her father in law gave her a vicious beating when his daughter's wristwatch went missing. "He thought I stole it," she says, "and he beat me all over my body with his stick. He broke my arm and my foot. He said if I didn't find it by the next day, he would kill me." Gulsoma found hope after escaping She crawled away that night and hid under a rickshaw. When the rickshaw driver found Gulsoma, broken and bleeding, he listened to her story and took her to the police. She was hospitalized immediately. "The doctor at the hospital who treated me said, 'I wish I could take you to the village square and show all the people what happened to you, so no one would ever do something like this again,'" Gulsoma says. It took her a full month to recover from her last beating. But the fear and psychological trauma may never go away. "I was happy to have a bed and food at the hospital," she says. "But I was thinking that when I get better they will give me back to the family." However, Gulsoma says when the police questioned the family, the father-in-law lied and tried to tell them she had epilepsy and had fallen down and hurt herself. But the neighbor who had helped Gulsoma confirmed the story of her beatings and torture. The police arrested her father-in-law and "husband." They told her, she says, they would keep them in jail unless she asked for their release. "Everyone was crying when they heard my story," Gulsoma says. Gulsoma says she stayed at an orphanage in Kandahar, but was the only girl in the facility. Eventually, her story was brought to the attention of the Ministry of Women's Affairs. The toll of torture Gulsoma was then brought to a Kabul orphanage, where she lives today. She takes off her baseball cap and shows us a bald spot, almost like a medieval monk's tonsure, on the crown of her head where she was scalded. She then turns her back and raises her shirt to reveal a sad map of scar tissue and keloids from cuts, bruises and the boiling water. Haroon and I look at each other with disbelief. Her life's tragic story is etched upon her back. Yet she continues to smile. She doesn't ask for pity. She seems more concerned about us as she reads the shock on our faces. "I feel better now," she says. "I have friends at the orphanage. But every night I'm still afraid the family will come here and pick me up." Gulsoma also says that when the sun goes down, she sometimes begins to shiver involuntarily — a reaction to the seven years of sleeping outdoors, sometimes in the bitter cold of the desert night. She says she believes there are other girls like her in Kandahar, maybe elsewhere in Afghanistan, and that she wants to study human rights and one day go back to help them. As we walk outside to take some pictures, I ask her if, after all she's been through, she thinks it will be harder to trust, to believe that there are actually good people in the world. "No," she says, quickly. "I didn't expect anyone would help me but God. I was really surprised that there were also nice people: the neighbor, the rickshaw driver, the police," she says. "I pray for those who helped release me." Looking directly into the camera, she smiles as if nothing bad had ever happened to her in her entire life. "I think that all people are good people," she says, "except for those that hurt me." Last edited by Atlas; 03-22-2006 at 09:25 PM..

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03-22-2006, 09:24 PM	#2
Atlas Draft Defense Early&Often Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 18,526	These are even more must reads. Children write to Gulsoma. It is very touching. SoCals link: http://hotzone.yahoo.com/b/hotzone/blogs3046 "Dear Gulsoma, I am 12, also, and I can't imagine going through that. I am so proud that you kept the faith and kept praying, and that you weren't bitter. You Have such joy! Not happiness, joy. Grace form Michigan" "I'm 12 as well and it frightens me just to think of such torture, much less experience it. Gulsoma, if you ever read this, please know that this is a wonderful and inspiring story that I will be sure to share." "Hi Gulsoma, My mom showed me your story and I am very sorry for.(my mom let me write this post) I want you to keep you head up high and find a mother and father that will take very good care of you. I am also 12 years old and cannot believe what they did to you! I cried...my mom cried i bet America would cry. you are very brave and a very strong girl. My mom said she wished she could adopt you. I will pray for you..May God Bless You! Your Friend, Miranda" "Gulsoma, I am a 13 year old girl my mom showed me your story. I have no idea what to say. All I can say to you is thank you, thank you for opening my eyes. I thought I went through bad things but this is a story that has really helped me to see that I am really lucky. I am happy to say to you that now you are in a better place. Although I'm a year older than you I read your story and was amazed that in your pictures all you could do was smile. That all you wanted to do was smile. It is a very hard thing but you made it through and you are a very beautiful girl I'm am very happy for you to be in the place you are now and to be out of the horrible place you were before. Remeber to keep your head high and don't look back just look towards the future. And always remeber I will pray for you and God is watching over you." "I'm glad this has not effected the way you feel about people. There are good people in the world and i am one of them i am 12 just like you and i can't even imagine that treatment." "oh my gosh i am 11 and i could never imagine my family doing something like that to me.Gulsoma you had a lot of courage and a lot of faith keep believing that there is a god and pray for the other children around the world who are suffering like you. MAy you find a new family and a better lifestyle. God Bless You and forever take care of you." Gulsoma, I am 11 years old. It hurt me to read your story and see what pain and saddness that you endured. I am so sorry for what happened to you!!!!! Madi" "Deat Gulsoma, i am so sorry abt yr abuse. i am 11 years old. i am so sad reading abt you.i just want u to know that even tho there are bad people around, there also good people too. Get up and enjoy yourself, don't think about the past anymore. ChewLiLi, Malaysia" "i can't believe that you are my age and have gone through all of that. you are an amazing person that now deserves a good life! i hope you get it. they should never let the people who did this to you out of jail. you are very strong. -Megan from Colorado of the U.S.A."

03-22-2006, 09:35 PM	#3
Meck77 Ring of Famer Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 16,307	Wow..........You guys can bash the war effort all you want but atleast there is some hope for the women of Afghanistan and hopefully Iraq in the future.

03-22-2006, 10:04 PM	#5
gunns I WANT DEFENSE! Defense, defense, defense Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Always Hoping Posts: 11,646 Adopt-a-Bronco: Defense	What a sad, wonderful story! Such an example of how strong the human spirit can really be, something some of us may never find out. How wonderful her view is now of seeing the good of those that helped. Astonishing! Yet I don't see what the war has to do with this story as all the good and bad are Afghani's and didn't become good or bad because of the war.

03-22-2006, 10:34 PM	#6
Atlas Draft Defense Early&Often Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 18,526	Who is going to bash the War in Afghanistan. That is the one just war we have fought. Too bad most of the troops are in Iraq instead of where they are needed. Anyway that is neither here nor there. If you want to click on the link of the story you can e mail the girl some words of encouragement, and they'll make sure she gets them.