Arkansas Redneck Humor

[Bronx33]

No offense to those in Arkansas.........

Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
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What's the most popular pick up line in Arkansas? Nice tooth!
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Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me? "There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
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How do you know when your staying in an Arkansas hotel? When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the front desk says "go ahead".
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How can you tell if a redneck is married? There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.
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Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
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What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Arkansas? A documentary.
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What do they call it in Kentucky? "Life Styles of the Rich and Famous."
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Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "Bout what?"
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Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Arkansas State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
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Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to Arkansas? Everyone has the same DNA.
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Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned down? Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
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A new law recently passed in Arkansas: When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
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What's the best thing to ever come out of Arkansas? I-40.
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Two Arkansans are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?" "Jus' some chickens." "If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?" "Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them." "OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"
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What do a divorce in Arkansas, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common? Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.
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An Arkansan came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!" "OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?" Arkansan says, "Don't you still have those big red trucks?"
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Why do folks in Arkansas go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more? 'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
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What do you get when you have 32 Arkansasians in the same room? A full set of teeth.