Men are from Mars... - The Orange Mane

Rock Chalk · 03-28-2005, 02:31 PM

>I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart.
FOR EXAMPLE One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT

?!!! What was
that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear,
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you
in the bedroom?" Realising that nothing was going to happen that night, I
went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'll just buy them all
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a
pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she
picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so
excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw
her
for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing
sexual
satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier." I could barely keep a straight face when I
murmured to her: "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT

!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look
like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for
who
I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...

Rascal · 03-28-2005, 02:34 PM

!!!

That is so true!!!

Spider · 03-28-2005, 02:36 PM

...... Well at least he didnt get the Free Milk and buying the cow speech .......

Tredici · 03-28-2005, 03:53 PM

Women do have the same sexual urges as men. If you've found one who pretends not to and expects to get something to bestow sexual favors? Dump her.

Rock Chalk · 03-28-2005, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tredici

Women do have the same sexual urges as men. If you've found one who pretends not to and expects to get something to bestow sexual favors? Dump her.

Tred...

...its called humor

Cleo McDowell · 03-28-2005, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlecRaenos

>I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart.
FOR EXAMPLE One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT

?!!! What was
that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear,
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you
in the bedroom?" Realising that nothing was going to happen that night, I
went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'll just buy them all
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a
pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she
picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so
excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw
her
for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing
sexual
satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier." I could barely keep a straight face when I
murmured to her: "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT

!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look
like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for
who
I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...

sorry alec, i know you are a "veteran" on this board but i call bullshhht on your story. i read it on another website.. please don't take a story from somewhere else and take credit for it.

Rascal · 03-28-2005, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tredici

Women do have the same sexual urges as men. If you've found one who pretends not to and expects to get something to bestow sexual favors? Dump her.

I think I love you.

Rascal · 03-28-2005, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamjeehunta

sorry alec, i know you are a "veteran" on this board but i call bullshhht on your story. i read it on another website.. please don't take a story from somewhere else and take credit for it.

who said he took credit for it? Somebody needs to write a disclaimer that they got it somewhere else?

It's a joke relax.

Cleo McDowell · 03-28-2005, 05:26 PM

what makes you think im uptight? obviously saying "I" implies that it is a story HE went through. whutever though, no sense arguin, jus give credit where its due.

watermock · 03-28-2005, 05:43 PM

The fact is that it's true. The story teaches a lesson. If women's "emotional needs" made any sense, then men would act appropriately. To let this hog gourge herself to an extreme then pull the plug was only appropriate.

I totally refuse to ever shop with women. It's ****ing rediculous. Men go buy what they need, they "shop" for value and price, estimate the hassle of overshopping, buy the needs and get the hell out of there.

Women shop to shop. I don't even bother. "Does this make me look Fat?". Damn, you were fat before you put it on, you should ask me if you look LESS FAT.

Now how far does that get you? And I love the routine about their "emotional needs". Like men are robots that could get along just fine with a milking machine. What they don't understand is that a milking machine is a viable alternative.

You might buy them a pearl necklace only to find out they put a tatoo on their ass. Who knows what the hell they will do!

And they make up all kinds of excuses for their bi-polar behavior with abscure reasons, like "It just didn't feel right, or you just don't understand me..."

All the time your holding the damn credit card just trying to get out of the store. I am constantly amused by the department store clerk. Where are these people bred? Even WORSE is the Male Clerk in the Suit Department. As a 41 with a 31 inseam pants, it's virtually impossible to take anything off the rack. Try explaining it to the idiot. I say look, I need this tailored you dimwit. I don't want the jacket to go to my knees, and I don't want the pants cuffed if my crotch is hanging down like some Villanova Basketball player.

I want a 41 with a 31 inseam. Is that too ****ing hard to understand?

I get this all done in time to watch the woman prancing around in the 16th outfit. She says "Do I look nice in this one?".

Yes, dear, please pick it, I hate it but I can't handle this place anymore. Three months later, she still hasn't worn it, and she pulls it out at the most inopportune time. "I think I'll wear this tonight.."

"This is the one you liked so much..."

Rock Chalk · 03-28-2005, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamjeehunta

what makes you think im uptight? obviously saying "I" implies that it is a story HE went through. whutever though, no sense arguin, jus give credit where its due.

Because it was copied and pasted from email, in story form, called narrative from the first person.

Give credit to whom? There was no credit on the email. Credit to the guy who sent it to me who probably grabbed it off of a website he always goes to which in turn probably snagged it from somewhere else that most likely stole it from a story of a some dude he heard in a bar?

Rascal · 03-28-2005, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamjeehunta

what makes you think im uptight? obviously saying "I" implies that it is a story HE went through. whutever though, no sense arguin, jus give credit where its due.

because you want to give credit to whomever wrote that. Who cares

Like we are ever going to find out anyway. Alec found it, or had it given to him, took the time to post it when he could have just decided to keep it to himself. Good grief. You expect people to give a discertation on the origins of everything they post? If you are a rookie then yes you will need to post links especially football news, but when it is a joke or just a story then it's ludicrous.

Mtbrncofn · 03-28-2005, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by §Pide®

...... Well at least he didnt get the Free Milk and buying the cow speech .......

That's a good one!

Cleo McDowell · 03-28-2005, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rascal

You expect people to give a discertation on the origins of everything they post? If you are a rookie then yes you will need to post links especially football news, but when it is a joke or just a story then it's ludicrous.

no i do not, but a simple heading saying "got this in an email, ****in hillarious" or sumthin like that would prevent "rookies" like me from thinkin that the poster is jackin material and tryin to pass it off as a true story himself.

neways, since you say its not the case, i have made sumthin out of nothin and you two contributed to a bullshhht thread hijack. my bad. good story though.

Rascal · 03-28-2005, 07:56 PM

the only person who made this thread get hijacked was you with your insistence on him putting a disclaimer on it....WHO CARES!?!?!!?

Next time Alec it just may be better not to post stuff in the future with all of these rookies around lately.

yavoon · 03-28-2005, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamjeehunta

no i do not, but a simple heading saying "got this in an email, ****in hillarious" or sumthin like that would prevent "rookies" like me from thinkin that the poster is jackin material and tryin to pass it off as a true story himself.

neways, since you say its not the case, i have made sumthin out of nothin and you two contributed to a bullshhht thread hijack. my bad. good story though.

oh shutup

Rascal · 03-28-2005, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yavoon

oh shutup

I was trying to be nice after my tyraid yesterday against broncobuddy or whatever his name is, but I'm glad somebody said it.

REP!!

Sean · 03-28-2005, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rascal

I think I love you.

Why do some guys feel the need to hit on a girl over a message board? Are you that desperate?

Cleo McDowell · 03-28-2005, 08:21 PM

call me a rookie,whutever, i said my peace, and apologize n if you think i should shut up so be it...i could giv a fck if you have 10,000 posts and i have 3, that don't make you better than the next man so some of yall should get off your message board high horses and not be so quick to disrespect another and judge em by their post count.

Rascal · 03-28-2005, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solo

Why do some guys feel the need to hit on a girl over a message board? Are you that desperate?

With my wife being tempermental....yes

Is that a snake biting my ass or my own comments I can't tell.

Tredici · 03-28-2005, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlecRaenos

Tred...

...its called humor

For some odd reason stereotyping is funny. So it begats more stereotyping. And we have Mock for that.

FADERPROOF · 03-28-2005, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solo

Why do some guys feel the need to hit on a girl over a message board? Are you that desperate?

Yes I am, although I dont believe I've really hit on any of the chicks here at OM, I wouldn't put it past me.

Sassy · 03-28-2005, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DenFan38

Yes I am, although I dont believe I've really hit on any of the chicks here at OM, I wouldn't put it past me.

Do we need to bring up the who's single/married/has a SO thread so we can get you a date Denfan?

FADERPROOF · 03-28-2005, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sassy

Do we need to bring up the who's single/married/has a SO thread so we can get you a date Denfan?

Yes, another thing that I wouldnt put past me

Rock Chalk · 03-28-2005, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamjeehunta

call me a rookie,whutever, i said my peace, and apologize n if you think i should shut up so be it...i could giv a fck if you have 10,000 posts and i have 3, that don't make you better than the next man so some of yall should get off your message board high horses and not be so quick to disrespect another and judge em by their post count.

You are correct. Post count does not make one better than another.

But im clearly better than you so sit down and shut up.

03-28-2005, 02:31 PM	#1
Rock Chalk Cheeky Bastards Laus Deo Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: The Backside of the Internet Posts: 29,940 Adopt-a-Bronco: Chris Harris	Men are from Mars... >I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT?!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear, "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realising that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could barely keep a straight face when I murmured to her: "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...

03-28-2005, 05:26 PM	#9
Cleo McDowell underrated. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 812	what makes you think im uptight? obviously saying "I" implies that it is a story HE went through. whutever though, no sense arguin, jus give credit where its due. Last edited by Cleo McDowell; 03-28-2005 at 05:28 PM..

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

03-28-2005, 02:34 PM	#2
Rascal RIP Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 16,581 Adopt-a-Bronco: Turf	!!! That is so true!!!

03-28-2005, 02:36 PM	#3
Spider Mr Diplomacy I survived Tebow Mania at the Mane Join Date: May 2001 Location: Elway was just an arm =MacGruder Posts: 84,438 Adopt-a-Bronco: Von Miller	...... Well at least he didnt get the Free Milk and buying the cow speech .......

03-28-2005, 03:53 PM	#4
Tredici Ring of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 10,010	Women do have the same sexual urges as men. If you've found one who pretends not to and expects to get something to bestow sexual favors? Dump her.

03-28-2005, 05:43 PM	#10
watermock "Hoodie Jr" "Hug me!" Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Hot Springs, Ouachitah Posts: 77,090	The fact is that it's true. The story teaches a lesson. If women's "emotional needs" made any sense, then men would act appropriately. To let this hog gourge herself to an extreme then pull the plug was only appropriate. I totally refuse to ever shop with women. It's **ing rediculous. Men go buy what they need, they "shop" for value and price, estimate the hassle of overshopping, buy the needs and get the hell out of there. Women shop to shop. I don't even bother. "Does this make me look Fat?". Damn, you were fat before you put it on, you should ask me if you look LESS FAT. Now how far does that get you? And I love the routine about their "emotional needs". Like men are robots that could get along just fine with a milking machine. What they don't understand is that a milking machine is a viable alternative. You might buy them a pearl necklace only to find out they put a tatoo on their ass. Who knows what the hell they will do! And they make up all kinds of excuses for their bi-polar behavior with abscure reasons, like "It just didn't feel right, or you just don't understand me..." All the time your holding the damn credit card just trying to get out of the store. I am constantly amused by the department store clerk. Where are these people bred? Even WORSE is the Male Clerk in the Suit Department. As a 41 with a 31 inseam pants, it's virtually impossible to take anything off the rack. Try explaining it to the idiot. I say look, I need this tailored you dimwit. I don't want the jacket to go to my knees, and I don't want the pants cuffed if my crotch is hanging down like some Villanova Basketball player. I want a 41 with a 31 inseam. Is that too **ing hard to understand? I get this all done in time to watch the woman prancing around in the 16th outfit. She says "Do I look nice in this one?". Yes, dear, please pick it, I hate it but I can't handle this place anymore. Three months later, she still hasn't worn it, and she pulls it out at the most inopportune time. "I think I'll wear this tonight.." "This is the one you liked so much..."

03-28-2005, 07:56 PM	#15
Rascal RIP Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 16,581 Adopt-a-Bronco: Turf	the only person who made this thread get hijacked was you with your insistence on him putting a disclaimer on it....WHO CARES!?!?!!? Next time Alec it just may be better not to post stuff in the future with all of these rookies around lately.

03-28-2005, 08:21 PM	#19
Cleo McDowell underrated. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 812	call me a rookie,whutever, i said my peace, and apologize n if you think i should shut up so be it...i could giv a fck if you have 10,000 posts and i have 3, that don't make you better than the next man so some of yall should get off your message board high horses and not be so quick to disrespect another and judge em by their post count.