Die Shanahan, Die! - The Orange Mane

Old Dude · 10-20-2004, 11:53 AM

This cracked me up.

From http://www.fantasysharks.com/artman/...rticle_887.htm

The Brutus Report
Oct 20, 2004

(by Jim St. Onge)

"Et tu, Brute?" (Even you, Brutus?) Arguably the most famous three words uttered in literature, this immortalized quote from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar has come down in history to mean the ultimate betrayal by one's closest friend. In the Brutus Report I will bring you a weekly overview of the betrayers of the previous week’s games as well as make a few predictions on the players most likely to stick a dagger in your back this week.

Week 6 has been recorded and Week 7 looms menacingly in the distance. If you currently have a winning record, my hats off to you! What a flipped around lop-sided year of Fantasy Football this has been. The winners up to this point fall mainly into two categories, the fantasy expert among experts and the complete "morons" or first year newbies that grabbed Culpep with there 1st round 2nd pick and had to settle for C Martin [He's obviously talking about the EvilHead Brigade here], C Dillon, or T Barber as there starting RB. Let me inform all of you in the second group, ANY OTHER YEAR you would have been SMOKED and sitting at a 2-4 (at best) record right now. But it isn’t any other year, so once again congrats!

Alright on to the picks…

Warrick Dunn – Assuming your scoring format is like many of them out there, the totals through Week 5 for Dunn looked something like this 18, 16, 11, 13, 13. Nothing to scoff at indeed, though not terrific either by any measure. Fact is though, owners have come to depend on Dunn. Putting in Dunn has been an automatic 10 points for 5 weeks now. Well not this week fellas. 5 for 13, no that isn’t the new Tuesday afternoon deal at Subway, that would be Mr. Dunn’s Week 6 production. Cost you the game did it? Here let me help you pull the dagger out.

Mark Brunell – Let me take you back to a happier time. The years are 1996-2002, Brunell was a force to be reckoned with. Sure he had his INT years where they rivaled his TDs thrown, but the whole package was worth a starting spot. Unfortunately Brunell has seemed to let old age catch up with him, only 34 you say? Ok, well maybe he just sucks. Whatever the reason or the excuse GET HIM OFF your starting line-up.

And the Brutus Award for Week 6 goes to…

Mike Shanahan – Yeah that’s right, Shanny. This guys elusiveness ticks me off to no end. I am of the opinion he does not like Fantasy Football. It is his personal quest to do anything he can to screw with the game. Nothing else can explain why he always has 12 RBs on his team of equal playing skill. Nothing else can explain why he interchanges those running backs week by week like an old lady and her best church wigs. Come on Shanahan, get with the picture. FF has helped to make your beloved sport THE sport of America. Baseball is out, Football is America’s favorite pastime. Throw us Fantasy nerds a bone.

Any of you start Droughns this week? Excellent, Shanny is probably your best friend. But believe me, you were taking a calculated risk. He could have just as easily made Q-Tip the man all game long. Bah, he could have made Bell the man and not lost any sleep over it. Word is now out that Droughn’s is the guy. Offer me that and a 10 cent lollipop and I will pay you a nickel. He is a traitor folks and he has a knife waiting for you too.

Week 7 possible Brutus’s

Any RB in a Broncos Uniform – Die Shanahan, die! See above.

Rascal · 10-20-2004, 01:57 PM

That's pretty funny.

Pezman · 10-22-2004, 12:39 PM

I am in a bind because of Shanny in one league... Do I dare start Droughns over Rudi Johnson this week?

Cmon Shanny... give me a hand here...

HEAV · 10-22-2004, 06:35 PM

Reuben. The Bengals can't stop the run.

10-20-2004, 11:53 AM	#1
Old Dude Host Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: As if I'd tell you crazies! Posts: 14,238	Die Shanahan, Die! This cracked me up. From http://www.fantasysharks.com/artman/...rticle_887.htm The Brutus Report Oct 20, 2004 (by Jim St. Onge) "Et tu, Brute?" (Even you, Brutus?) Arguably the most famous three words uttered in literature, this immortalized quote from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar has come down in history to mean the ultimate betrayal by one's closest friend. In the Brutus Report I will bring you a weekly overview of the betrayers of the previous week’s games as well as make a few predictions on the players most likely to stick a dagger in your back this week. Week 6 has been recorded and Week 7 looms menacingly in the distance. If you currently have a winning record, my hats off to you! What a flipped around lop-sided year of Fantasy Football this has been. The winners up to this point fall mainly into two categories, the fantasy expert among experts and the complete "morons" or first year newbies that grabbed Culpep with there 1st round 2nd pick and had to settle for C Martin [He's obviously talking about the EvilHead Brigade here], C Dillon, or T Barber as there starting RB. Let me inform all of you in the second group, ANY OTHER YEAR you would have been SMOKED and sitting at a 2-4 (at best) record right now. But it isn’t any other year, so once again congrats! Alright on to the picks… Warrick Dunn – Assuming your scoring format is like many of them out there, the totals through Week 5 for Dunn looked something like this 18, 16, 11, 13, 13. Nothing to scoff at indeed, though not terrific either by any measure. Fact is though, owners have come to depend on Dunn. Putting in Dunn has been an automatic 10 points for 5 weeks now. Well not this week fellas. 5 for 13, no that isn’t the new Tuesday afternoon deal at Subway, that would be Mr. Dunn’s Week 6 production. Cost you the game did it? Here let me help you pull the dagger out. Mark Brunell – Let me take you back to a happier time. The years are 1996-2002, Brunell was a force to be reckoned with. Sure he had his INT years where they rivaled his TDs thrown, but the whole package was worth a starting spot. Unfortunately Brunell has seemed to let old age catch up with him, only 34 you say? Ok, well maybe he just sucks. Whatever the reason or the excuse GET HIM OFF your starting line-up. And the Brutus Award for Week 6 goes to… Mike Shanahan – Yeah that’s right, Shanny. This guys elusiveness ticks me off to no end. I am of the opinion he does not like Fantasy Football. It is his personal quest to do anything he can to screw with the game. Nothing else can explain why he always has 12 RBs on his team of equal playing skill. Nothing else can explain why he interchanges those running backs week by week like an old lady and her best church wigs. Come on Shanahan, get with the picture. FF has helped to make your beloved sport THE sport of America. Baseball is out, Football is America’s favorite pastime. Throw us Fantasy nerds a bone. Any of you start Droughns this week? Excellent, Shanny is probably your best friend. But believe me, you were taking a calculated risk. He could have just as easily made Q-Tip the man all game long. Bah, he could have made Bell the man and not lost any sleep over it. Word is now out that Droughn’s is the guy. Offer me that and a 10 cent lollipop and I will pay you a nickel. He is a traitor folks and he has a knife waiting for you too. Week 7 possible Brutus’s Any RB in a Broncos Uniform – Die Shanahan, die! See above.

10-22-2004, 12:39 PM	#3
Pezman Livin the dream Andy did you hear about this one? Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Smoggy SoCal Posts: 9,833 Adopt-a-Bronco: DJ Williams	I am in a bind because of Shanny in one league... Do I dare start Droughns over Rudi Johnson this week? Cmon Shanny... give me a hand here... __________________ Sitting on a beach, earning 20%

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes	Rate This Thread
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode	Rate This Thread:

10-20-2004, 01:57 PM	#2
Rascal RIP Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 16,582 Adopt-a-Bronco: Turf	That's pretty funny.

10-22-2004, 06:35 PM	#4
HEAV Ring of Famer It's about the Team Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Ville Posts: 12,077 Adopt-a-Bronco: Brian Dawkins	Reuben. The Bengals can't stop the run.