Getting Back with the Baby Mama - The Orange Mane

Mr. Trout · 06-18-2005, 12:07 AM

Does anybody else have a child with a woman who you aren't with. I am thinking about taking the plunge because my daughter is so damn beautiful...

Rock Chalk · 06-18-2005, 12:12 AM

See "Why women suck" thread for more information.

Mr. Trout · 06-18-2005, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlecRaenos

See "Why women suck" thread for more information.

I started that thread...Damn I need to find something else to do this late at night.

Atlas · 06-18-2005, 01:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Trout

I started that thread...Damn I need to find something else to do this late at night.

Dude don't go back with a woman because of a kid. It'll only make you miserable. If it didn't work before why will it work now?? You can still be a good Dad and not be with her. That being said if you see a future with her and think it could work try it but don't do it just because of the kid. The only thing that will accomplish is that everyone will be miserable.

Raiders Rock · 06-18-2005, 03:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atlas

Dude don't go back with a woman because of a kid. It'll only make you miserable. If it didn't work before why will it work now?? You can still be a good Dad and not be with her. That being said if you see a future with her and think it could work try it but don't do it just because of the kid. The only thing that will accomplish is that everyone will be miserable.

That is VERY good advice, .....What he said Trout

Maximus · 06-18-2005, 06:53 AM

Memories....... Light the corners of my mind....... Misty water colored Memories... of the way we were.......!

Don't get caught up Man!

TheNextStep · 06-18-2005, 06:56 AM

I have a wonderful Mom and a wonderful Dad. They were both good parents... after they divorced each other.

If the only reason you're getting back is for the kids, you're making a mistake. In a couple of years, you'll have driven each other so nuts that you're having screaming matches in the living room while your kids are upstairs crying.

Don't do it, man.

Bronx33 · 06-18-2005, 07:00 AM

What would cobra commander do? you think he wants to drag around an old lady mean while having to fight GI joe, the answer would be no not a wise combat decision.But i would advise keeping a healthy relationship with your kid going.

Jason in LA · 06-18-2005, 07:43 AM

Don't do it. I'm a perfect example of why you shouldn't. I would have been better off not being with my son's mother all these years. Some women are dream killers. They'll use you, and they'll use your child against you. They'll use your child as a pawn to control you. It happens all the time. You'd be better off if she got with some new guy and used him up instead of you. That way you could be a father to your child.

I've heard a lot of horror stories of women who have kept their kids from good fathers. I'm not talking about the dead beat fathers. I'm talking about fathers that were good parents to their kids. Women will tell you that you can only see them every other weekend, and some of them will up and move out of the state.

You are better off avoiding the horror stories. A horror story that I might be going through shortly. I love my 9 year old son, but I don't think I can go through another 9 years of the crap I've been going through. I'm hoping that he'll be able to live with me, which is the right thing for all of us.

Like Atlas said, if it didn't work the first time why do you think it'll work now? If the two of you aren't together, and she is letting you be in the child's life, why mess that up? That's more important that you being with the mother. Chances are you won't be able to have a good relationship with the mother in the long term, so forget it. But you need to be in your child's life. So don't get back with her.

elsid13 · 06-18-2005, 08:02 AM

You need to ask yourself two questions:

Why aren't you with her now? and Has anything changed the answer to question #1?

Relationship between you and her, not you and the kid.

Jason in LA · 06-18-2005, 08:18 AM

Trout, how old are you and her? What caused the breakup in the first place?

dnvrbrncos · 06-18-2005, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jason in LA

What caused the breakup in the first place?

Ummm...selfishness and lack of committment. It's not rocket science. A good relationship is pretty easy to form. Always seek to do what is best for the other person and be committed.

Now, back to the parade of boys and ignorant advice...

Spider · 06-18-2005, 08:35 AM

My question would be why did you have a Kid , with a woman you didnt intend to marry ?
I am not just busting on you trout , but this is a real problem in America . so many people throw caution to the wind for pleasure , birth control ...... then you wouldnt be facing this ........ if you are going to have sex , at least use protection ...... Now that is over ......
you dont have to marry this woman , to be part of the baby's life ....... Make sure you pay your child support , and use your visitation rights .......... you dont have to love the Mother , but always treat her with respect in front of your daughter ........

Jason in LA · 06-18-2005, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dnvrbrncos

Now, back to the parade of boys and ignorant advice...

What advice has been ignorant so far?

TheNextStep · 06-18-2005, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dnvrbrncos

Ummm...selfishness and lack of committment. It's not rocket science. A good relationship is pretty easy to form. Always seek to do what is best for the other person and be committed.

Now, back to the parade of boys and ignorant advice...

Good relationships are very easy to form... but they require work to maintain. Check out the divorce rate sometime before you go talking about ignorance.

If he takes your advice and does what's best and is committed, that's great... but what if Baby Mama doesn't do the same?

Yeah... exactly.

Sassy · 06-18-2005, 08:54 AM

good advice guys

Dr. Broncenstein · 06-18-2005, 09:12 AM

Everything should take a backseat to you being a father.... jmo

Kaylore · 06-18-2005, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sassy

good advice guys

...someone thought it was "ignorant".

Kaylore · 06-18-2005, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheNextStep

Check out the divorce rate sometime before you go talking about ignorance.

Just so you all know, a marriage councilor told me something interesting on that figure. She that the numbers are skewed because they take all the divorces against all the marriages to determine the number. What they don't tell you, is that more than half of the people divorcing are repeat divorcees. So if you take those numbers out, more people are getting and staying married than it appears. She said that once you divorce, there is a good chance you will do it repeatedly because it teaches you you can walk away from a commitment.

FADERPROOF · 06-18-2005, 09:53 AM

I have 4 kids, and dont pay child support.

Dr. Broncenstein · 06-18-2005, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FADERPROOF

I have 4 kids, and dont pay child support.

Kewl.... I'll bet you hop from ER to ER on the weekends as well... your tooth acting up again?

TheNextStep · 06-18-2005, 10:08 AM

That may be true, Kaylore, but I know this: I know more people who are children of divorce than I know people whose parents are still together.

JCMElway · 06-18-2005, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dnvrbrncos

Ummm...selfishness and lack of committment. It's not rocket science. A good relationship is pretty easy to form. Always seek to do what is best for the other person and be committed.

Now, back to the parade of boys and ignorant advice...

I think you're speaking out of turn here. You have no idea what the story is. You're just jumping in and making assumptions that the two people in this relationship are ****ups. It's short sighted and not fair for someone from the outside to do that. To call them selfish and lacking committment out of hand is off base. That is true in some cases, but there are plenty of relationships that don't work out because people change and grow in different directions. I know if I had been married at 21 or so I would not be in that relationship now. I'm a very different person

As far as the advice goes, I think it's pretty solid. Just having a kid will not make a relationship work. If anything it's more stress and strain to endure.

Get off your holier than thou perch.

FADERPROOF · 06-18-2005, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Broncenstein

Kewl.... I'll bet you hop from ER to ER on the weekends as well... your tooth acting up again?

My 19 STD's slow me down at times...

Dr. Broncenstein · 06-18-2005, 10:10 AM

My parents are still together... and I was the only one out of my friends who grew up like that.. I don't take it for granted

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06-18-2005, 12:07 AM	#1
Mr. Trout World Champion Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Topeka, Kansas Posts: 1,453	Getting Back with the Baby Mama Does anybody else have a child with a woman who you aren't with. I am thinking about taking the plunge because my daughter is so damn beautiful...

06-18-2005, 12:12 AM	#2
Rock Chalk Cheeky Bastards Laus Deo Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: The Backside of the Internet Posts: 29,940 Adopt-a-Bronco: Chris Harris	See "Why women suck" thread for more information.

06-18-2005, 06:53 AM	#6
Maximus The Razor! Public Enemy #1 Join Date: May 2001 Location: Western, NY Posts: 5,207 Adopt-a-Bronco: Tim Tebow	Memories....... Light the corners of my mind....... Misty water colored Memories... of the way we were.......! Don't get caught up Man!

06-18-2005, 06:56 AM	#7
TheNextStep The Enemy Within Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 2,814	I have a wonderful Mom and a wonderful Dad. They were both good parents... after they divorced each other. If the only reason you're getting back is for the kids, you're making a mistake. In a couple of years, you'll have driven each other so nuts that you're having screaming matches in the living room while your kids are upstairs crying. Don't do it, man.

06-18-2005, 07:00 AM	#8
Bronx33 lets go partner Rumpson Rocks Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Lakewood,Colo Posts: 41,221 Adopt-a-Bronco: Woodyard	What would cobra commander do? you think he wants to drag around an old lady mean while having to fight GI joe, the answer would be no not a wise combat decision.But i would advise keeping a healthy relationship with your kid going.

06-18-2005, 07:43 AM	#9
Jason in LA Gimmie that rep fool! Speaking of Butts & Boob Mojo Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: LA Posts: 12,254	Don't do it. I'm a perfect example of why you shouldn't. I would have been better off not being with my son's mother all these years. Some women are dream killers. They'll use you, and they'll use your child against you. They'll use your child as a pawn to control you. It happens all the time. You'd be better off if she got with some new guy and used him up instead of you. That way you could be a father to your child. I've heard a lot of horror stories of women who have kept their kids from good fathers. I'm not talking about the dead beat fathers. I'm talking about fathers that were good parents to their kids. Women will tell you that you can only see them every other weekend, and some of them will up and move out of the state. You are better off avoiding the horror stories. A horror story that I might be going through shortly. I love my 9 year old son, but I don't think I can go through another 9 years of the crap I've been going through. I'm hoping that he'll be able to live with me, which is the right thing for all of us. Like Atlas said, if it didn't work the first time why do you think it'll work now? If the two of you aren't together, and she is letting you be in the child's life, why mess that up? That's more important that you being with the mother. Chances are you won't be able to have a good relationship with the mother in the long term, so forget it. But you need to be in your child's life. So don't get back with her.

06-18-2005, 08:02 AM	#10
elsid13 Lost In Space Bóg, Honor, Ojczyzna Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: DC Posts: 19,099	You need to ask yourself two questions: Why aren't you with her now? and Has anything changed the answer to question #1? Relationship between you and her, not you and the kid.

06-18-2005, 08:18 AM	#11
Jason in LA Gimmie that rep fool! Speaking of Butts & Boob Mojo Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: LA Posts: 12,254	Trout, how old are you and her? What caused the breakup in the first place?

06-18-2005, 08:35 AM	#13
Spider Mr Diplomacy I survived Tebow Mania at the Mane Join Date: May 2001 Location: Elway was just an arm =MacGruder Posts: 84,438 Adopt-a-Bronco: Von Miller	My question would be why did you have a Kid , with a woman you didnt intend to marry ? I am not just busting on you trout , but this is a real problem in America . so many people throw caution to the wind for pleasure , birth control ...... then you wouldnt be facing this ........ if you are going to have sex , at least use protection ...... Now that is over ...... you dont have to marry this woman , to be part of the baby's life ....... Make sure you pay your child support , and use your visitation rights .......... you dont have to love the Mother , but always treat her with respect in front of your daughter ........

06-18-2005, 08:54 AM	#16
Sassy Ring of Famer Join Date: May 2001 Location: ND Posts: 37,952 Adopt-a-Bronco: Eddie Royal	good advice guys

06-18-2005, 09:12 AM	#17
Dr. Broncenstein Overdriven Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Sterile Fields Posts: 11,622 Adopt-a-Bronco: Wesley Woodyard	Everything should take a backseat to you being a father.... jmo

06-18-2005, 09:53 AM	#20
FADERPROOF Bucknuts Colossus Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Eastlake OH Posts: 17,338	I have 4 kids, and dont pay child support.

06-18-2005, 10:08 AM	#22
TheNextStep The Enemy Within Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 2,814	That may be true, Kaylore, but I know this: I know more people who are children of divorce than I know people whose parents are still together.

06-18-2005, 10:10 AM	#25
Dr. Broncenstein Overdriven Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Sterile Fields Posts: 11,622 Adopt-a-Bronco: Wesley Woodyard	My parents are still together... and I was the only one out of my friends who grew up like that.. I don't take it for granted