PumpkinGate - The Orange Mane

watermock · 09-30-2004, 02:55 PM

John Kerry's fake tan fiasco
October 1, 2004

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John Kerry's image makeover has backfired badly. Caroline Overington reports from New York.

There isn't a woman alive who won't sympathise with Democrat John Kerry for doing what he did this week.

Who among us has not done the same thing? That is, made a stupid, stupid decision regarding our appearance right before a Very Important Event.

Senator Kerry, who is trying to win the race for the White House, hit the bottle. The fake tan bottle. Or maybe the sun bed. No one is sure. But whatever, the day before this morning's all important first TV debate with President George Bush, Senator Kerry turned orange.

Not a little bit orange. His face is like a Halloween pumpkin. Or, as the New York Post put it, Senator Kerry, who is from icy Boston, has a tan "even George Hamilton would envy".

Talk-back callers had a good chuckle. America's top-rating comedian, Jay Leno, said Senator Kerry's face (like a city faced with terrorism) was on "orange alert". Matt Drudge, who runs the Drudge Report website, wondered whether he had been campaigning "in the rust belt".

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The tan was so obvious that the Kerry camp, which really wants to get back to debating the big issues, such as war, was forced to explain it. They said Senator Kerry got the tan at a football match. The New York Post didn't buy it, nor did anybody else. Dr Ted Daly, of Garden City Dermatology, said: "Wow! That is a tan. From a tanning salon."

The New York Sun said Senator Kerry's "sudden, orangey-bronze glow" was highly unlikely to be the real deal. It quoted Cynthia House, of Enhance Me, who said: "It's an artificial tan. They went a little overboard."

So why did Senator Kerry - or, more likely, his handlers, since it's difficult to imagine the senator slathering the stuff on, not least because it would also leave him with orange palms - do it?

Probably because he has to face an audience of 70 million people this morning (Australian time) and wanted to look his best. He wouldn't be the first. Democrat John F. Kennedy was among the first politicians to use make-up for the TV debates and made Richard Nixon look tired and pale by comparison.

It's also possible that Senator Kerry, like many older men, thought a tan would help him attract the chicks. He needs those chicks. According to Time magazine, he has somehow managed to alienate women voters, who normally back Democrats over Republicans by a wide margin. At this election, women are thinking of voting for Mr Bush at least as often as they are thinking of voting for Senator Kerry.

This is catastrophic for the Democrats, since Mr Bush is 18 points ahead with men. Or, as Susan Carroll, of the Centre for American Women and Politics, put it in The Washington Post: "If Kerry loses among women, he will lose this election. It's as simple as that."

Like everybody, Senator Kerry knows that this morning's debate won't be about issues. It will be about image. Important topics will be treated in a superficial way. But, if he thinks a tan will help him woo women, he is wrong. Surveys show they are concerned about terrorism, and wonder whether he can handle the heat. And they don't mean from sun lamps.

Captain_Poncho · 09-30-2004, 03:07 PM

Hee hee hee!

This sort of stuff is what makes an otherwise oppressively serious political race occasionally enjoyable.

watermock · 09-30-2004, 03:17 PM

I don't know if Kerry can make any more wrong moves other than pull out Kaptain Winkie tonight and wave it around singing Nah Nah Nah.

Mock actually did that on the School Bus and got into a bunch of trouble. I was 6. Man did mock catch heat.

Hercules Rockefeller · 09-30-2004, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by watermock

The tan was so obvious that the Kerry camp, which really wants to get back to debating the big issues, such as war, was forced to explain it. They said Senator Kerry got the tan at a football match. The New York Post didn't buy it, nor did anybody else. Dr Ted Daly, of Garden City Dermatology, said: "Wow! That is a tan. From a tanning salon."

The problem with that explanation is that the Harvard Crimson reported that the College Ds who provided some members for volunteers when Kerry arrived in Boston, said that those who were at the airport to help were amazed at how tan Kerry looked. Kind of hard to have a tan that came from a football game that hadn't occurred yet, since the game his campaign was alluding to, was with the Harvard College Ds.

watermock · 09-30-2004, 03:29 PM

It's just another idiotic move from an true idiot.

He probably botoxed himself as well.

He's as vain as Paris Hilton. It's rediculous. He's playing to the female vote. It's pathetic pandering.

09-30-2004, 02:55 PM	#1
watermock "Hoodie Jr" "Hug me!" Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Hot Springs, Ouachitah Posts: 77,090	PumpkinGate John Kerry's fake tan fiasco October 1, 2004 Page Tools Email to a friend Printer format John Kerry's image makeover has backfired badly. Caroline Overington reports from New York. There isn't a woman alive who won't sympathise with Democrat John Kerry for doing what he did this week. Who among us has not done the same thing? That is, made a stupid, stupid decision regarding our appearance right before a Very Important Event. Senator Kerry, who is trying to win the race for the White House, hit the bottle. The fake tan bottle. Or maybe the sun bed. No one is sure. But whatever, the day before this morning's all important first TV debate with President George Bush, Senator Kerry turned orange. Not a little bit orange. His face is like a Halloween pumpkin. Or, as the New York Post put it, Senator Kerry, who is from icy Boston, has a tan "even George Hamilton would envy". Talk-back callers had a good chuckle. America's top-rating comedian, Jay Leno, said Senator Kerry's face (like a city faced with terrorism) was on "orange alert". Matt Drudge, who runs the Drudge Report website, wondered whether he had been campaigning "in the rust belt". Advertisement Advertisement The tan was so obvious that the Kerry camp, which really wants to get back to debating the big issues, such as war, was forced to explain it. They said Senator Kerry got the tan at a football match. The New York Post didn't buy it, nor did anybody else. Dr Ted Daly, of Garden City Dermatology, said: "Wow! That is a tan. From a tanning salon." The New York Sun said Senator Kerry's "sudden, orangey-bronze glow" was highly unlikely to be the real deal. It quoted Cynthia House, of Enhance Me, who said: "It's an artificial tan. They went a little overboard." So why did Senator Kerry - or, more likely, his handlers, since it's difficult to imagine the senator slathering the stuff on, not least because it would also leave him with orange palms - do it? Probably because he has to face an audience of 70 million people this morning (Australian time) and wanted to look his best. He wouldn't be the first. Democrat John F. Kennedy was among the first politicians to use make-up for the TV debates and made Richard Nixon look tired and pale by comparison. It's also possible that Senator Kerry, like many older men, thought a tan would help him attract the chicks. He needs those chicks. According to Time magazine, he has somehow managed to alienate women voters, who normally back Democrats over Republicans by a wide margin. At this election, women are thinking of voting for Mr Bush at least as often as they are thinking of voting for Senator Kerry. This is catastrophic for the Democrats, since Mr Bush is 18 points ahead with men. Or, as Susan Carroll, of the Centre for American Women and Politics, put it in The Washington Post: "If Kerry loses among women, he will lose this election. It's as simple as that." Like everybody, Senator Kerry knows that this morning's debate won't be about issues. It will be about image. Important topics will be treated in a superficial way. But, if he thinks a tan will help him woo women, he is wrong. Surveys show they are concerned about terrorism, and wonder whether he can handle the heat. And they don't mean from sun lamps.

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09-30-2004, 03:07 PM	#2
Captain_Poncho A.K.A. Nick the Merciless Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 461	Hee hee hee! This sort of stuff is what makes an otherwise oppressively serious political race occasionally enjoyable.

09-30-2004, 03:17 PM	#3
watermock "Hoodie Jr" "Hug me!" Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Hot Springs, Ouachitah Posts: 77,090	I don't know if Kerry can make any more wrong moves other than pull out Kaptain Winkie tonight and wave it around singing Nah Nah Nah. Mock actually did that on the School Bus and got into a bunch of trouble. I was 6. Man did mock catch heat.

09-30-2004, 03:29 PM	#5
watermock "Hoodie Jr" "Hug me!" Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Hot Springs, Ouachitah Posts: 77,090	It's just another idiotic move from an true idiot. He probably botoxed himself as well. He's as vain as Paris Hilton. It's rediculous. He's playing to the female vote. It's pathetic pandering.