The Orange Mane -  a Denver Broncos Fan Community  

Go Back   The Orange Mane - a Denver Broncos Fan Community > Orange Mane Discussion > Orange Mane Central Discussion
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Chat Room Mark Forums Read



Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-25-2014, 02:27 PM   #426
Rabb
Ring of Famer
 
Rabb's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 9,336
Default

My buddy was going through EMT training and one of his first times out, they had to take a guy to the ER...he had a giant candle stuck in his ass.

A giant. Candle.

Doc, what's the most common item people get lodged in their asses?
Rabb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 02:28 PM   #427
Dr. Broncenstein
Ring of Famer
 
Dr. Broncenstein's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Sterile Fields
Posts: 15,031

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Trey Gowdy
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gyldenlove View Post
I am not surprised. In a small town, sticking random household objects and smaller pets up your own ass has to be one of the three or four most entertaining things to do.
Tell you this much... humans are incredibly creative and imaginative when it comes to cramming foreign bodies up their asses.
Dr. Broncenstein is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 02:30 PM   #428
Dr. Broncenstein
Ring of Famer
 
Dr. Broncenstein's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Sterile Fields
Posts: 15,031

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Trey Gowdy
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rabb View Post
My buddy was going through EMT training and one of his first times out, they had to take a guy to the ER...he had a giant candle stuck in his ass.

A giant. Candle.

Doc, what's the most common item people get lodged in their asses?
A tie between candles and small shampoo bottles.
Dr. Broncenstein is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 02:47 PM   #429
Miss I.
Ring of Famer
 
Miss I.'s Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Germany, well soon anyway
Posts: 8,909

Adopt-a-Bronco:
TailGateNutBaja
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Broncenstein View Post
A tie between candles and small shampoo bottles.
You know if they just used sex toys made for use in odd places they wouldn't have this problem.
Miss I. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 02:48 PM   #430
gyldenlove
Ring of Famer
 
gyldenlove's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Nęstved, DK
Posts: 11,902

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Spencer Larsen
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss I. View Post
You know if they just used sex toys made for use in odd places they wouldn't have this problem.
Or if they put their ferrets on a leash.....
gyldenlove is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 02:59 PM   #431
Cito Pelon
Happy
 
Cito Pelon's Avatar
 
Happy dog at the Divide

Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Lombardiville
Posts: 18,529

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Werewolves
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rohirrim View Post
The weeds and weed bushes of Colorado! The ****ing weeds are already three feet tall and Spring hasn't even got going. I swear, Colorado grows the best weeds on Earth. I hacked back these weed bushes along my house last year to the ground and they're now three feet tall! Amazing.
Perhaps a sewage system that doesn't consist of you, your peckerwood buddies, and your skanks staggering outside and relieving yourselves on or near the foundations would help.
Cito Pelon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 02:59 PM   #432
baja
Headmaster
 
baja's Avatar
 
"Win from now on" - Elway

Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 69,068

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Leo-TailGateNut
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gyldenlove View Post
Or if they put their ferrets on a leash.....
Ya but getting them to turn around is a beatch.
baja is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 03:14 PM   #433
Bronc0guy
Hard hat & lunch pail guy
 
Bronc0guy's Avatar
 
Repeat City

Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,696

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Cody Latimer
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rabb View Post
My buddy was going through EMT training and one of his first times out, they had to take a guy to the ER...he had a giant candle stuck in his ass.

A giant. Candle.

Doc, what's the most common item people get lodged in their asses?
A guy in the small town where I'm from had to go to the ER one time because a carrot broke off in his ass. True story.
Bronc0guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 05:59 PM   #434
Drunk Monkey
Mars b****es!!!
 
Drunk Monkey's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,737
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Broncenstein View Post
A tie between candles and small shampoo bottles.
Drunk Monkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 06:16 PM   #435
Archer81
Optimum Homo
 
Archer81's Avatar
 
Tactical Neck.

Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Colorado
Posts: 23,253
Default

A couple of weeks back I was hanging out with some friends, and they generally pay more attention to hockey. We got talking about hockey and my friend Shane just asks out of nowhere..."how about those Broncos, huh?"

I felt a blood vessel snap. Saw red. Then he explained..."I mean free agency".

So apparently I am not all that over the SB loss.

Archer81 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 06:45 PM   #436
ShiftyEyedWaterboy
Ring of Famer
 
ShiftyEyedWaterboy's Avatar
 
RIP Mr. Hockey

Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Littleton
Posts: 1,727

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Brandon Perna
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by peacepipe View Post
People who wait for a green light to make a right turn.
This! Especially when there's a 2000ft long MERGE LANE right ****ing there!!!

Happens to me almost everyday outside of my apartment.
ShiftyEyedWaterboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 07:06 PM   #437
rmsanger
Elway > PFM
 
rmsanger's Avatar
 
Another one bites the dust!

Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 3,505

Adopt-a-Bronco:
None
Default

Places that do takeout (chinese, subs, etc..) or self service dining that ask for tips... you can get the tip of this diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.
rmsanger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 08:04 PM   #438
Bronco
Ring of Famer
 
Bronco's Avatar
 
Not your buddy

Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Make my day
Posts: 1,319
Default

People who reply to you off Craigslist in text or email asking if you'll take half the asking price.
Bronco is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 09:01 PM   #439
broncocalijohn
Famer of Rings
 
broncocalijohn's Avatar
 
I said Do It!

Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: SoCal
Posts: 27,255

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Simon Fletcher
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bronco View Post
People who reply to you off Craigslist in text or email asking if you'll take half the asking price.
! They will never call you because they realize their best offer price is so damn ****ed that they don't want to be laughed at.
broncocalijohn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 09:41 PM   #440
Rohirrim
Partisan
 
Rohirrim's Avatar
 
Got to see Lady Gaga

Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Twixt Hell & Highwater
Posts: 63,976

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Shaq Barrett
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cito Pelon View Post
Perhaps a sewage system that doesn't consist of you, your peckerwood buddies, and your skanks staggering outside and relieving yourselves on or near the foundations would help.
Yeah. Everclear doesn't **** with your brain. Keep believin' dat.
Rohirrim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 09:59 PM   #441
DomCasual
The Mad Dommer!
 
DomCasual's Avatar
 
Shameless Homer

Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: SLC, UT
Posts: 15,476

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Pat Bowlen
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bronc0guy View Post
A guy in the small town where I'm from had to go to the ER one time because a carrot broke off in his ass. True story.
That seems like a win-win.

Hamsters will eat carrots, right?
DomCasual is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 10:35 PM   #442
maher_tyler
Ring of Famer
 
maher_tyler's Avatar
 
HoFer

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: ND
Posts: 7,504
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Broncenstein View Post
Not true. The most common causes for auto/bicycle crashes are motorists turning into the path of the bicyclist, and turning across the path of the cyclist. Which is why the bicyclist is advised to ride in the middle of the lane, and is their legal right in every single state.
Speaking of this. About a year ago I was getting ready to pull out of a local restaurant parking lot. Was going to turn right but traffic was coming from the left so I was looking left. It was also dark out. Long story short I almost hit a guy on his bike because he was riding against the flow of traffic. He came from my right but was looking left. If it weren't for my wife I would have hit him.
maher_tyler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2014, 02:43 AM   #443
gyldenlove
Ring of Famer
 
gyldenlove's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Nęstved, DK
Posts: 11,902

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Spencer Larsen
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by maher_tyler View Post
Speaking of this. About a year ago I was getting ready to pull out of a local restaurant parking lot. Was going to turn right but traffic was coming from the left so I was looking left. It was also dark out. Long story short I almost hit a guy on his bike because he was riding against the flow of traffic. He came from my right but was looking left. If it weren't for my wife I would have hit him.
Going against traffic on a bike is one of the dumbest things you can do - a-holes like that give the rest of us a bad name,“.
gyldenlove is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2014, 05:28 AM   #444
BroncoBuff
**************
 
BroncoBuff's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,083

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Jordan Taylor
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rohirrim View Post
The weeds and weed bushes of Colorado! The ****ing weeds are already three feet tall and Spring hasn't even got going. I swear, Colorado grows the best weeds on Earth. I hacked back these weed bushes along my house last year to the ground and they're now three feet tall! Amazing.

I've got the cure for what ails you, Roh ... "Rent-a-Ruminant" will solve your problem, and they'll do it at reasonable rates: $8 an hour for each of the first five, $5 each after that (5 mminimum).

Sixty can clear a quarter-acre in three days, so the side of your house is probably just a two or three-hour job.
BroncoBuff is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2014, 07:37 AM   #445
Punisher
®Spreading the Wealth
 
Punisher's Avatar
 
97,98,2015 Champs WOOOOOOOOOOOO!®

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Broncos Film Room
Posts: 8,954

Adopt-a-Bronco:
I4jelway7
Default

When ugly girls don't want to **** me.
Punisher is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2014, 09:13 AM   #446
ColoradoDarin
Busting off 2k
 
ColoradoDarin's Avatar
 
Since 1986

Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Wilson, NC
Posts: 14,907
Default

People who don't put shopping carts in the cart wrangler station at the grocery store.
ColoradoDarin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2014, 09:14 AM   #447
Bronc0guy
Hard hat & lunch pail guy
 
Bronc0guy's Avatar
 
Repeat City

Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,696

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Cody Latimer
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DomCasual View Post
That seems like a win-win.

Hamsters will eat carrots, right?
I would think so.
Bronc0guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2014, 09:16 AM   #448
baja
Headmaster
 
baja's Avatar
 
"Win from now on" - Elway

Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 69,068

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Leo-TailGateNut
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ColoradoDarin View Post
People who don't put shopping carts in the cart wrangler station at the grocery store.
I usually carefully aim and push my cart at the cars that park in a way that uses up two spaces because they don't want anyone to scratch their car.
baja is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2014, 01:20 PM   #449
B-Large
Ring of Famer
 
B-Large's Avatar
 
Oily Variety Bohunk

Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 6,544
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by baja View Post
I usually carefully aim and push my cart at the cars that park in a way that uses up two spaces because they don't want anyone to scratch their car.
People do that at work. A lot of he Docs have fancy cars, and they try park sideways so nobody can get close I their car. Instead of thinking of ways to harm their property, I take solice in the fact that I don't have an existence that puts that much value in in something so meaningless in the grand scheme of things. My car has dents, dings, scratches- gives it character-
B-Large is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2014, 01:24 PM   #450
B-Large
Ring of Famer
 
B-Large's Avatar
 
Oily Variety Bohunk

Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 6,544
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ColoradoDarin View Post
People who don't put shopping carts in the cart wrangler station at the grocery store.
I have thanked more than once by other customers for making the effort...
B-Large is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes



Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:53 AM.


Denver Broncos