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Old 01-17-2014, 09:31 AM   #51
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Originally Posted by HoustonBroncosFan View Post
The Broncos don't have a chance for way too many reasons for me to explain. One, history. Period. When the pats joined the NFL in 2001, Boom!, we won the superbowl and we kept winning them. It didn't matter who we played, we beat em all...cowboys, bills, yankees...we kicked all their asses. If you part-timers knew your sports history...you'd know you'd be better off surfing or whatever else you do in denver.

And third reason. Skill players, we've got them everywhere. You don't. Start at QB, we've got Brady...and bledsoe backing him up! Who you got? You probably don't even know the name of your back-up QB. Probably don't have one...or even a goalie. Nuff said. By the third period, I'll be laughing my ass off as we're running up the score hitting those three pointers!

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Old 01-17-2014, 09:37 AM   #52
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Originally Posted by HoustonBroncosFan View Post
The Broncos don't have a chance for way too many reasons for me to explain. One, history. Period. When the pats joined the NFL in 2001, Boom!, we won the superbowl and we kept winning them. It didn't matter who we played, we beat em all...cowboys, bills, yankees...we kicked all their asses. If you part-timers knew your sports history...you'd know you'd be better off surfing or whatever else you do in denver.

And third reason. Skill players, we've got them everywhere. You don't. Start at QB, we've got Brady...and bledsoe backing him up! Who you got? You probably don't even know the name of your back-up QB. Probably don't have one...or even a goalie. Nuff said. By the third period, I'll be laughing my ass off as we're running up the score hitting those three pointers!

Signed,

Devoted Pats Fan

*I know I'm missing the chowder accent...
Good enough that we're issuing a one time 5-post rule waiver.
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Old 01-17-2014, 09:42 AM   #53
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Originally Posted by HoustonBroncosFan View Post
The Broncos don't have a chance for way too many reasons for me to explain. One, history. Period. When the pats joined the NFL in 2001, Boom!, we won the superbowl and we kept winning them. It didn't matter who we played, we beat em all...cowboys, bills, yankees...we kicked all their asses. If you part-timers knew your sports history...you'd know you'd be better off surfing or whatever else you do in denver.

And third reason. Skill players, we've got them everywhere. You don't. Start at QB, we've got Brady...and bledsoe backing him up! Who you got? You probably don't even know the name of your back-up QB. Probably don't have one...or even a goalie. Nuff said. By the third period, I'll be laughing my ass off as we're running up the score hitting those three pointers!

Signed,

Devoted Pats Fan

*I know I'm missing the chowder accent...
That's pretty funny.
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Old 01-17-2014, 09:43 AM   #54
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If you look at my NFL Mount Rushmore scale of Misery (captioned using only quotes from Swingers) it's clear that Tom Brady is alone at the top of the Pyramid of Clutch Quarterbacks. My college buddies I hung out with in Vegas last week confirm this. Peyton Manning's arm, however, has been reduced to the Johnny Damon region of my Periodic Table of Athletic Limbs. My colleague Magic Johnson (Did you know I get to hang out with Magic Johnson?) confirms this.

It has been 3 month since a Boston team has won a championship. We need this. On the Cursed Sports City Scale (2014 edition) the Pats are clearly in the Schottenheimer zone and our fans deserve this. My friend Malcolm Gladwell confirms this.

I know famous people.

Las Vegas.
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Old 01-17-2014, 09:56 AM   #55
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Welker's about as popular as a hoodsie cup in January. I'll bet any Denver fan a box of Dunkin' Donuts k-cups or a case of Natty Lite that Tom Brady has fewer interceptions than Peyton Manning.

Where are my nuttie buddies?

Last edited by TripleTilde; 01-17-2014 at 09:59 AM..
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Old 01-17-2014, 10:06 AM   #56
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HoustonBroncosFan View Post
The Broncos don't have a chance for way too many reasons for me to explain. One, history. Period. When the pats joined the NFL in 2001, Boom!, we won the superbowl and we kept winning them. It didn't matter who we played, we beat em all...cowboys, bills, yankees...we kicked all their asses. If you part-timers knew your sports history...you'd know you'd be better off surfing or whatever else you do in denver.

And third reason. Skill players, we've got them everywhere. You don't. Start at QB, we've got Brady...and bledsoe backing him up! Who you got? You probably don't even know the name of your back-up QB. Probably don't have one...or even a goalie. Nuff said. By the third period, I'll be laughing my ass off as we're running up the score hitting those three pointers!

Signed,

Devoted Pats Fan

*I know I'm missing the chowder accent...
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Old 01-17-2014, 10:30 AM   #57
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Only improvement might've been a Caahlton Fackin Fisk reference.
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Old 01-17-2014, 10:34 AM   #58
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Da Patriots nevah cheated.
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Old 01-17-2014, 10:57 AM   #59
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4 Things I Think I Think:

1) My wife and I have both agreed that our dream threesome would be with Tom Brady. That doesn't make me gay, does it?

2) Bill Belichick is better than anyone else at taking away your best player, exploiting your worst player, and secretly taping your other 20 players while they practice. My prediction for this game: Coach Belichick's knob 1, my mouth 0.

3) Coffeenerdness: if you have to have a coffee enema, you could do worse than Starbucks' Holiday Blend. I take it like Terrell Davis after Hall of Fame voting every year - black and bitter.

4) The reason no Broncos ever make the Hall of Fame? Too many late games -- after the Pats play at 1:00 p.m. ET, I usually need a good nap. How could I possibly vote for players who I've never watched? It just wouldn't be right. It is a travesty that Troy Brown hasn't made it in yet, though.

Last edited by BowlenBall; 01-17-2014 at 10:59 AM..
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Old 01-17-2014, 11:03 AM   #60
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BowlenBall View Post


4 Things I Think I Think:

1) My wife and I have both agreed that our dream threesome would be with Tom Brady. That doesn't make me gay, does it?

2) Bill Belichick is better than anyone else at taking away your best player, exploiting your worst player, and secretly taping your other 20 players while they practice. My prediction for this game: Coach Belichick's knob 1, my mouth 0.

3) Coffeenerdness: if you have to have a coffee enema, you could do worse than Starbucks' Holiday Blend. I take it like Terrell Davis after Hall of Fame voting every year - black and bitter.

4) The reason no Broncos ever make the Hall of Fame? Too many late games -- after the Pats play at 1:00 p.m. ET, I usually need a good nap. How could I possibly vote for players who I've never watched? It just wouldn't be right. It is a travesty that Troy Brown hasn't made it in yet, though.


you sir, are a genius.
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Old 01-17-2014, 11:05 AM   #61
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So I'm at this faucking dive bah in Southie where O'Hoolihan's kid sistah is just giving the faucking business. Ya know, she's wicked mad I ain't been coming round lil Sully no mo and how I'm late with that bull**** child support. So I tells her I've got her child support right faucking here and so we go out back and fauck and she's crying and I tell her shut up who the fauck are ya Peyton Manning?
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Old 01-17-2014, 11:17 AM   #62
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lol coffee enemas are wicked pissah
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Old 01-17-2014, 11:19 AM   #63
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ih puhrduct thah pahtriouhts will wihn 50-10 ih wouhd gihv uhp muh ahrse vahgurnity to tohm brahdah ahnd the hohle pahtrioht team.
i think a few of my brain cells just killed themselves while i did this
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Old 01-17-2014, 11:34 AM   #64
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This has the same awesomeness as The thread of Jolana tweeting about history of the world and McDaniels trn' da tem apat!
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Old 01-17-2014, 01:04 PM   #65
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this thread and the target materbating thread are hysterical, best of the year !
its like having a boston market in the target parkinglot outside boston.
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Old 01-17-2014, 01:20 PM   #66
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D'ya's like apples?

Yeah?

Well the game's in Den-vah, how ya like dem apples?
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Old 01-17-2014, 01:23 PM   #67
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I betcha guys been readin' a lot of Guahdon Wood, huh? Yeah, you read yaw Guahdon Wood, and you regurgitate it from yaw textbook, and you think yaw wicked awesome, doin that, and how bout dem apples? And all that Guahdon Wood business
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Old 01-17-2014, 03:27 PM   #68
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This thed is so fauckin wicked pissa.
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Old 01-17-2014, 03:29 PM   #69
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Old 01-17-2014, 03:41 PM   #70
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Oh fackin blunt is so ganna fackin rawk facking mannin's tripplenuttah peanuthed.

Sweep da fackin foahhead, dats how fackin Bellichak fackin swings it.

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Old 01-17-2014, 03:43 PM   #71
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Peyton Manning is a good quarterback but he is ugly.
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Old 01-19-2014, 03:30 AM   #72
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Bahmp.




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Old 01-19-2014, 04:20 AM   #73
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Let me tell yah why we ahh nawt gonna lose today. First awf, they're fackin nobodies. I nevah heard of the Broncos til fackin Manning joined them, they ahh a nobody team. How many titles since 2001? Yeah that's right , and they think they're owwah rivals now in the AFC, they ahh nawt owwah rivals let me tell yah. The only team that's owwah rivals is the Yankees, they ahh always public enemy #1 for GRIT SAWKS NATION!

I couldn't name any playah on that team apahht from forehead, Benedict Ahnald (Looking at you Welkah you traitah) and that dahkie that rushed for a million yahds against us when we beat them in novembah. Yeah i said dahkie, what you gonna do about it? You all think it too, we in Bawston just say it, it makes us more real! Owwah team relies on good white guys like Tawmmy B, Amendolah and fackin Jules, it's why we're a fackin dynasty. You can't trust the dahkies, that's what i said to my fawtha after the superbowl in 2008! Fackin Randy Moss would wanna watch his step if he ever comes to my bahh let me tell ya.

Third, people think we ahh the underdawgs. Well GRIT SAWKS NATION is always used to being the little guy. Nobody believes us but down in the bahh (that's O'Reilly's bahh in Quinzee ya ****) me and the guys were saying that this team has the spirit of 2001 about them. Who the fack ahh Denvah anyways? I nevah even heard of the place! Wahlberg!

Last edited by spiralism; 01-19-2014 at 04:30 AM..
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Old 01-19-2014, 08:58 AM   #74
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C'mon Patriots Nation, feel the vibrations!

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Old 01-19-2014, 09:47 AM   #75
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You losers betta catch everything my husband throws, or Ima go crazy b**** on your asses!
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