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Old 07-04-2013, 12:48 AM   #26
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Has anyone ever had a new stripper, get so sweaty that when she went to spin on the pole she slipped off into the crowd?
Bacon bacon Grease? Just wondering....
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Old 07-04-2013, 12:50 AM   #27
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Do make them think that you have a lot of money and are willing to spend it, and then don't spend much of it.

Show up in a suit and the chicks will think you're about to blow a lot of money on them. They'll work really hard for it, and you'll get great dances because they think they are going to get paid. But always have a number in mind that you are willing to spend that night, and don't go over it. I don't have a problem spending a good $60 and having a good time, but I'm not trying to drop a few hundred. But I want them to think that I am. lol

Tip a few bucks here and there during the dance, instead of all at once after. They'll work harder because they think that you'll just start dropping money on them.

Don't tip the chicks dances on the stage. Let some other dude do that. Why pay for a show that everybody else is getting? And it adds to the total amount that you're going to spend that night. I rather spend that money on a personal dance.
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Old 07-04-2013, 12:51 AM   #28
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Don't go.

Strip clubs are for losers.
Some people just don't know how to have a good time.

I guess no stripper wanted to give you a dance. lol
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Old 07-04-2013, 02:46 AM   #29
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Don't jizz in a light colored trouser.

And...

Wear Umbro shorts as your underwear.
Under sweatpants ...
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Old 07-04-2013, 05:24 AM   #30
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Only go where touching is allowed.

Have fun it's entertainment
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Old 07-04-2013, 07:22 AM   #31
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Wash your hands
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Old 07-04-2013, 08:37 AM   #32
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Only go where touching is allowed.

Have fun it's entertainment
I went to a strip club in DC, and they had that no touching rule. Okay, so what was I paying for? I couldn't have spent more than $13. No door charge (only good thing about that place), bought one drink, and tipped a dancer a couple buck out of pity when she approached me.
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Old 07-04-2013, 09:13 AM   #33
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I went to a strip club in DC, and they had that no touching rule. Okay, so what was I paying for? I couldn't have spent more than $13. No door charge (only good thing about that place), bought one drink, and tipped a dancer a couple buck out of pity when she approached me.
They don't allow lap dances in DC. That's why I never go there. Only option is MD, since VA ones are terrible. Haven't gone to MD yet, but will one day.
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Old 07-04-2013, 09:24 AM   #34
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Do make them think that you have a lot of money and are willing to spend it, and then don't spend much of it.

Show up in a suit and the chicks will think you're about to blow a lot of money on them. They'll work really hard for it, and you'll get great dances because they think they are going to get paid. But always have a number in mind that you are willing to spend that night, and don't go over it. I don't have a problem spending a good $60 and having a good time, but I'm not trying to drop a few hundred. But I want them to think that I am. lol

Tip a few bucks here and there during the dance, instead of all at once after. They'll work harder because they think that you'll just start dropping money on them.

Don't tip the chicks dances on the stage. Let some other dude do that. Why pay for a show that everybody else is getting? And it adds to the total amount that you're going to spend that night. I rather spend that money on a personal dance.
I know a lot of strippers. They have customers and guys they bang. They usually aren't the same. If you become a customer by getting dances you most likely won't get to bang unless you are super good looking or rich.
Bring some drugs, don't get dances, only give them money on the stage and never anywhere else. When a stripper see's you will throw out 40 bucks in ones and make it rain, then you don't get dances, they know getting a stupid fake dance is not what you are there for.

Also this strategy comes from knowing and having banged quite a few strippers in my day. And i am fat and not rich so I know its a good plan.

Tip while they dance on stage. They love that because most men don't do it. Then turn them down for a private dance but offer to by them drink instead. Tell them you have some reasons you can't really be out seen getting dances but can instead hang and have a good time. They will be back at your house giving you a dance before you know it.
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Old 07-04-2013, 09:26 AM   #35
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I went to a strip club in DC, and they had that no touching rule. Okay, so what was I paying for? I couldn't have spent more than $13. No door charge (only good thing about that place), bought one drink, and tipped a dancer a couple buck out of pity when she approached me.
If you want to **** at the strip club go to Synn in the city of industry. Pay 150 bucks and get a real private blowjob errrrrr I mean dance.
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Old 07-04-2013, 09:29 AM   #36
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The real bummer is Fritz in Bellflower closed. The singer in my band was the deejay there, best friend was the bouncer, great friend was the doorman and I knew the manager really well. And we were all in our 30's with money and time to blow. Those were some good times.
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Old 07-04-2013, 09:37 AM   #37
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I have been to both male and female strip clubs. I think its odd that clubs where women are the dancers has more rules and structure and decorum, oddly enough, then one where men are the dancers. Women have no self control. Like a pack of hyenas on a wounded antelope.

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Old 07-04-2013, 10:06 AM   #38
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Under sweatpants ...
You sir are a savy veteran.
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Old 07-04-2013, 01:11 PM   #39
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I got caught in Denver in the late 80s in a snow storm. It was bitter cold & we couldn't get the car started. Left on foot in -15 weather, we wandered the nearby vicinity for something to do and the only thing open was a topless joint. So we went in.

I found myself sitting stage side looking at some hottie and holding a plastic ashtray upside down in my hand tapping to the beat of the song. Since the place was pretty dead - not too many folks were going out in the weather - the bouncer came over and warned me not to break the ashtrays.

I set aside the ashtray until the bouncer focused his attention elsewhere. I grabbed the ashtray again, began tapping it again, and sure enough it broke during the next song. I got up and relocated to another place in the joint. 2 songs later, the bouncer found my handy work and bounced me & friends into the -15 degree air.

Never get your friends bounced outta a warm titty joint into the frigid air when everyone is on foot.
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Old 07-04-2013, 01:15 PM   #40
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Bacon bacon Grease? Just wondering....
She fell on my friend and he wouldn't even touch her to help her up. He was like, you know the rules b****. She was pissed.
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Old 07-04-2013, 03:10 PM   #41
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They don't allow lap dances in DC. That's why I never go there. Only option is MD, since VA ones are terrible. Haven't gone to MD yet, but will one day.
Go to McDoogal's southeast of Baltimore...

I haven't been there in years, but two bonuses were you could bring your own beer which they would store on ice, and they had chicks way better looking than anything on The Block. (Baltimore Street in the city.)

On the bad side, it (and the area) are a dump, it had what appeared to be a car repair business lit by a couple barrel fires out back, and it also literally had a DOG working the door...

Enjoy!
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Old 07-04-2013, 03:38 PM   #42
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Don't:

Go to the men's room only when the butterface makes her rounds. Oddly enough, she'll catch on.
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Old 07-04-2013, 03:50 PM   #43
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No hostage dances... Not even on a birthday or bachelor party.
Yup. I wish I still had my picture of what happened to me. It was my bachelor party. Of course got invited up on stage. They stripped me down to my boxers. Put me in a chair sitting backwards and tied my hand to the back of the chair. Of course there were like 2 hot babes with big boobies just stuffing them in my face keeping me occupied. Felt some of them touching my back but couldn't see them. When all was done I left the stage with "boys poke me here (with arrow point downward)" written in lipstick on my back. I tried to put my shirt on but each time a girl came over and stuff boobies in my face and wouldn't let me. Then they eventually just took my shirt up on stage and left it there the whole night. I walked around (to bathroom, to bar) for several hours without my shirt with that on my back and always kept wondering why when people looked at me they all had that odd grin on their face or even laughed. The next morning when I saw a picture of my back, I knew I was the sucker that entire evening.
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Old 07-04-2013, 03:52 PM   #44
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Don't ever get into a relationship with a stripper. I was in one for 2 years and she was the most jealous woman I've been with. They are crazy.

And NEVER date one if you are the jealous type. I've always said dudes that get jealous should never date a hot chick. Saves them the dread and pain.

Beat me to it. I moved to Denver when I was 21 and the first girl I dated was a dancer from Shotgun Willy's. Dated her for 3 months her mood shifts and attitude were crazy. In a matter of minutes her entire demeanor would change. And according to her I was just waiting for the opportunity to cheat

On the plus side the sex was incredible and I was part of 3 different threesomes orchestrated by her.
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Old 07-04-2013, 04:06 PM   #45
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I'm surprised at the number of Maners here who have been to strip clubs. The only time I've ever gone was twice the two years in Florida for a couple of CPO retirements.
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Old 07-04-2013, 04:15 PM   #46
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Take hot girls with you. It will not hurt.
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Old 07-04-2013, 05:22 PM   #47
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Love me some LaBo.
This....life is to short
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Old 07-04-2013, 05:24 PM   #48
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This thread cracks me up!
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Old 07-04-2013, 05:43 PM   #49
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They don't allow lap dances in DC. That's why I never go there. Only option is MD, since VA ones are terrible. Haven't gone to MD yet, but will one day.
This whole area is terrible, period. Can't wait to hit up my old stomping ground in Dallas that the guys from Pantera own. The place is called The Clubhouse and it is outright freakin' awesome.
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Old 07-04-2013, 05:51 PM   #50
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Take hot girls with you. It will not hurt.
for the win

all the american strip joints ive been to suck, go to the little clubs just outside montreal, the language barrier is a good thing, money talks.

I always find myself hitting on the waitresses, I mean you know you are going to see the other girls naked so who cares, its a challenge to get the waitress to get naked at the table tho.
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