The Orange Mane -  a Denver Broncos Fan Community  

Go Back   The Orange Mane - a Denver Broncos Fan Community > Orange Mane Discussion > Orange Mane Central Discussion
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Chat Room Mark Forums Read



Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-07-2013, 07:37 PM   #26
Kaylore
Because I am better
 
Kaylore's Avatar
 
Taysom Hill for Heisman!

Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Ceti Alpha V
Posts: 46,379

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Pat Bowlen
Default

Khan's marriage advice.

1.) If you want to have kids, wait to have kids. Go on some trips, buy some cool toys, buy some cool bedroom toys, and really enjoy each other. You will no longer be the same after children, and while being a parent is awesome, I am grateful we had some fun before we got married.

2.) Talk to each other about your feelings. Good communication is important in every aspect of your marriage. If you don't like how she farts in bed, tell her. If you want anal, tell her. She won't always agree, but it will be good know where you're both coming from.

3.) After the honeymoon phase wears off, you will find it harder and harder to get laid. A good trick is to clean the house. Her arousal for your increases proportionally to the amount of the house you clean. Warning: If she asked you to do this the arousal will not be as high. You have to voluntarily clean on your own to get maximum hawt sehks. You might say "that's hard" but it's less expensive than what you used to do to get some action and you live there too, so it's something you'll benefit from in two ways.

4.) Women are never completely happy - ever. Have you heard of the Heisenberg uncertainty principle in quantum mechanics? It basically means that you can know how many subatomic particles are in an object, and where they are, but never BOTH at the same time. Women have a happiness uncertainty principle where they can never be 100?% happy with everything at the same time. They can be totally happy with one aspect of something, but will have a problem with something else. They more likely will only be 40-60% happy with everything. Also, sometimes if they are happy with something, they will analyze and pick at it until they've talked themselves into having a problem with it. The good news is this fluctuates so there will be times you are one of the things that she is happy with. Sometimes you will not, though. Be ready. From the highest queens to the poorest of homeless women, they will find something to be upset and unhappy about.

5.) If she tries to change you, see a councilor. If she won't, get divorced.

Last edited by Kaylore; 06-07-2013 at 07:40 PM..
Kaylore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 07:41 PM   #27
bowtown
Ring of Famer
 
bowtown's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,340

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Aaron Brewer
Default

Also hide some condoms to see if she really thinks you are worth it. Is that how it goes sirhckenny and smurf?
bowtown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 07:50 PM   #28
ghwk
Ring of Famer
 
ghwk's Avatar
 
Survivor survivor!

Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 4,749

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Peyton's C3-C5
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaylore View Post
Khan's marriage advice.

1.) If you want to have kids, wait to have kids. Go on some trips, buy some cool toys, buy some cool bedroom toys, and really enjoy each other. You will no longer be the same after children, and while being a parent is awesome, I am grateful we had some fun before we got married.

2.) Talk to each other about your feelings. Good communication is important in every aspect of your marriage. If you don't like how she farts in bed, tell her. If you want anal, tell her. She won't always agree, but it will be good know where you're both coming from.

3.) After the honeymoon phase wears off, you will find it harder and harder to get laid. A good trick is to clean the house. Her arousal for your increases proportionally to the amount of the house you clean. Warning: If she asked you to do this the arousal will not be as high. You have to voluntarily clean on your own to get maximum hawt sehks. You might say "that's hard" but it's less expensive than what you used to do to get some action and you live there too, so it's something you'll benefit from in two ways.

4.) Women are never completely happy - ever. Have you heard of the Heisenberg uncertainty principle in quantum mechanics? It basically means that you can know how many subatomic particles are in an object, and where they are, but never BOTH at the same time. Women have a happiness uncertainty principle where they can never be 100?% happy with everything at the same time. They can be totally happy with one aspect of something, but will have a problem with something else. They more likely will only be 40-60% happy with everything. Also, sometimes if they are happy with something, they will analyze and pick at it until they've talked themselves into having a problem with it. The good news is this fluctuates so there will be times you are one of the things that she is happy with. Sometimes you will not, though. Be ready. From the highest queens to the poorest of homeless women, they will find something to be upset and unhappy about.

5.) If she tries to change you, see a councilor. If she won't, get divorced.
Point 4 is absolutely correct. This gets even worse when she hits menopause.

Last edited by ghwk; 06-07-2013 at 07:53 PM..
ghwk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 07:59 PM   #29
Dr. Broncenstein
Ring of Famer
 
Dr. Broncenstein's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Sterile Fields
Posts: 13,635

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Trey Gowdy
Default

F--k this. Run dude.
Dr. Broncenstein is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 08:00 PM   #30
errand
Ring of Famer
 
errand's Avatar
 
Forgot more than you'll ever know

Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Western NC mountains
Posts: 17,396
Default

always be the guy that make her girlfriends jealous
errand is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 08:02 PM   #31
Dr. Broncenstein
Ring of Famer
 
Dr. Broncenstein's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Sterile Fields
Posts: 13,635

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Trey Gowdy
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DivineLegion View Post
This is fantastic gentlemen, I really appreciate your support, and advice. We've already been through some rough re-planning after our plans for a beautiful garden wedding were dashed by a tropical storm, so it's on to plan B!

I loled today when my Father was showing us a slide show filled with pictures of the two of us through the years, and in one of my HS Graduation photos I was wearing a DJ Williams 52 Jersey.
This is a sign from god. Gtfo while you can.
Dr. Broncenstein is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 08:06 PM   #32
broncosteven
Kranz Dictum
 
broncosteven's Avatar
 
Where is Amazon!

Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Tranquility Base
Posts: 35,569

Adopt-a-Bronco:
CJ Anderson!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaylore View Post
Khan's marriage advice.

1.) If you want to have kids, wait to have kids. Go on some trips, buy some cool toys, buy some cool bedroom toys, and really enjoy each other. You will no longer be the same after children, and while being a parent is awesome, I am grateful we had some fun before we got married.

2.) Talk to each other about your feelings. Good communication is important in every aspect of your marriage. If you don't like how she farts in bed, tell her. If you want anal, tell her. She won't always agree, but it will be good know where you're both coming from.

3.) After the honeymoon phase wears off, you will find it harder and harder to get laid. A good trick is to clean the house. Her arousal for your increases proportionally to the amount of the house you clean. Warning: If she asked you to do this the arousal will not be as high. You have to voluntarily clean on your own to get maximum hawt sehks. You might say "that's hard" but it's less expensive than what you used to do to get some action and you live there too, so it's something you'll benefit from in two ways.

4.) Women are never completely happy - ever. Have you heard of the Heisenberg uncertainty principle in quantum mechanics? It basically means that you can know how many subatomic particles are in an object, and where they are, but never BOTH at the same time. Women have a happiness uncertainty principle where they can never be 100?% happy with everything at the same time. They can be totally happy with one aspect of something, but will have a problem with something else. They more likely will only be 40-60% happy with everything. Also, sometimes if they are happy with something, they will analyze and pick at it until they've talked themselves into having a problem with it. The good news is this fluctuates so there will be times you are one of the things that she is happy with. Sometimes you will not, though. Be ready. From the highest queens to the poorest of homeless women, they will find something to be upset and unhappy about.

5.) If she tries to change you, see a councilor. If she won't, get divorced.
Admit it #2 is all subliminally about Chris Kuper. I can't imagine waking up to an OL's night time gas episodes, you would totally have to talk about that!



OH and since we are talking about it, DivineLegion, find a mancrush! They are totally Hetero unless both parties really want to take it to the next level (BTW GENE if your reading this I can be found on Facebook and you have my digit's in the mail that your attorney didn't send back), there is nothing gay about a good healthy mancrush. Just remember HANDS OFF GENE! He is taken.
broncosteven is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 08:07 PM   #33
Ray Finkle
DOOONNNTTTTT CAAARRREEE!
 
Ray Finkle's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Alexandria, VA
Posts: 7,536
Default

Lose the small battles.....it's not worth the fight. Communication is key.
Ray Finkle is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 08:16 PM   #34
broncosteven
Kranz Dictum
 
broncosteven's Avatar
 
Where is Amazon!

Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Tranquility Base
Posts: 35,569

Adopt-a-Bronco:
CJ Anderson!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaylore View Post
Khan's marriage advice.

1.) If you want to have kids, wait to have kids. Go on some trips, buy some cool toys, buy some cool bedroom toys, and really enjoy each other. You will no longer be the same after children, and while being a parent is awesome, I am grateful we had some fun before we got married.

2.) Talk to each other about your feelings. Good communication is important in every aspect of your marriage. If you don't like how she farts in bed, tell her. If you want anal, tell her. She won't always agree, but it will be good know where you're both coming from.

3.) After the honeymoon phase wears off, you will find it harder and harder to get laid. A good trick is to clean the house. Her arousal for your increases proportionally to the amount of the house you clean. Warning: If she asked you to do this the arousal will not be as high. You have to voluntarily clean on your own to get maximum hawt sehks. You might say "that's hard" but it's less expensive than what you used to do to get some action and you live there too, so it's something you'll benefit from in two ways.

4.) Women are never completely happy - ever. Have you heard of the Heisenberg uncertainty principle in quantum mechanics? It basically means that you can know how many subatomic particles are in an object, and where they are, but never BOTH at the same time. Women have a happiness uncertainty principle where they can never be 100?% happy with everything at the same time. They can be totally happy with one aspect of something, but will have a problem with something else. They more likely will only be 40-60% happy with everything. Also, sometimes if they are happy with something, they will analyze and pick at it until they've talked themselves into having a problem with it. The good news is this fluctuates so there will be times you are one of the things that she is happy with. Sometimes you will not, though. Be ready. From the highest queens to the poorest of homeless women, they will find something to be upset and unhappy about.

5.) If she tries to change you, see a councilor. If she won't, get divorced.
Now that I made my mancrush jokes, #1 is pretty important.

We knew we wanted to have kids but we took our time to get some money saved and to get used to each other. It was important because both of our kids were difficult pregnancy's the 1st was born 7 weeks early and was only 3lbs 7oz. Nothing will tax your relationship than the bed rest time and stress at delivery then the having to leave your baby in the hospital for 6 weeks until she gets big enough to come home without the Bradycardia's. The 2nd preggo was more about high blood pressure and my son was born later, yet still early and he had more weight and a couple extra weeks inside that helped him. He came straight home with us all together.
broncosteven is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 08:33 PM   #35
ak1971
uhhhh
 
ak1971's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 5,761
Default

I didn't read any of this...but find the best chick and marry her. Yes Im married. (And not to a midget) My wife ****ing rocks. She even told Jason Elam to **** off during a game. Some times you just get ****ing lucky.
ak1971 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 09:02 PM   #36
DivineLegion
******ship Sta at the Top
 
DivineLegion's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: The Peak of Good Living
Posts: 4,788

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Nate Irving
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by broncosteven View Post
Admit it #2 is all subliminally about Chris Kuper. I can't imagine waking up to an OL's night time gas episodes, you would totally have to talk about that!



OH and since we are talking about it, DivineLegion, find a mancrush! They are totally Hetero unless both parties really want to take it to the next level (BTW GENE if your reading this I can be found on Facebook and you have my digit's in the mail that your attorney didn't send back), there is nothing gay about a good healthy mancrush. Just remember HANDS OFF GENE! He is taken.
Hahahah! Don't worry, I won't be attempting to steal Gene away from you.
DivineLegion is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 09:12 PM   #37
Beantown Bronco
Athletic Supporter
 
Beantown Bronco's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Mass
Posts: 20,234

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Matt Prater
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DivineLegion View Post
So, tomorrow I'm getting married, and for some odd reason after 10 years on the Orange Mane I acctually like reading the opinions of some of the same delusioned fanatics who have the free time to waist 10 years of their lives discussing the Broncos. With that being said, Orange Mane give me your marriage wisdom!
So, you've been here for 10 years and you're STILL getting married?!?

We've officially failed you. Sorry about that.
Beantown Bronco is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 09:25 PM   #38
tsiguy96
Ring of Famer
 
tsiguy96's Avatar
 
New to the Forum

Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 12,723

Adopt-a-Bronco:
None
Default

congrats, i just got married about 6 weeks ago, nothing really changed except i hate wearing my wedding band. no real advice to give ya though.
tsiguy96 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 09:27 PM   #39
Falconer
Perennial Pro-bowler
 
Falconer's Avatar
 
This day is for you

Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Southern Illinois
Posts: 942
Default

You can be right, or you can be happy. I've been happy for 14 years.
Falconer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 09:39 PM   #40
Vegas_Bronco
Ring of Famer
 
Vegas_Bronco's Avatar
 
Fear is a lack of preparation.

Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Now 64 Yards Out
Posts: 5,189

Adopt-a-Bronco:
1 Elam 1
Default

Make her laugh by making fun of your own oddities and treat her folks well. When it gets tough, remember, you made a life long commitment to the world that you would care for and watch after her best interests til death...stick with the decision! Everyone is allowed a bad day...even in the 4th quarter against the ravens with home field advantage locked up leading by 2 scores.

Last edited by Vegas_Bronco; 06-07-2013 at 09:42 PM..
Vegas_Bronco is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 09:44 PM   #41
rugbythug
Church Eyes.
 
rugbythug's Avatar
 
Salty Dog

Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 4,062

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Mr. Miller
Default

Be a leader. Its important. Remember the best leaders are servants.



Give up porn
rugbythug is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 10:05 PM   #42
Jetmeck
Not a Chief's board
 
Jetmeck's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 6,361
Default

kAHN HAD SOME PRETTY SOLID ADVICE THERE HAVE TO SAY.

Just remember this..... Happy wife....happy life.
Unhappy wife...stone ****ing cold misery.

All true...................

Hope you got one with a high libido because the ones in the middle like to hold out when they are mad about all those things Kahn pointed out.

The high libido variety like to **** and make up.

Good luck...........
Jetmeck is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 10:24 PM   #43
baja
Happy camper
 
baja's Avatar
 
Sweet

Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 60,010

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Ware
Default

Ask yourself frequently Who am I and why am I here.
baja is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 10:25 PM   #44
Bacchus
Guest
 

Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Falconer View Post
You can be right, or you can be happy. I've been happy for 14 years.
Yeah ok, now tell him the truth. You have been married for 25 years!!
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 10:25 PM   #45
Bacchus
Guest
 

Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rugbythug View Post
Be a leader. Its important. Remember the best leaders are servants.



Give up porn
that is horrible advice.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 10:29 PM   #46
orange crusher
Predominately Orange
 
orange crusher's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Rapid City, SD
Posts: 2,627
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ak1971 View Post
She even told Jason Elam to **** off during a game.
I remember that.
orange crusher is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 11:01 PM   #47
TerrElway
Pro Bowler
 

Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 582
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by errand View Post
Congratulations!

Nothing spawns jokes and good nature ribbing like a man getting married......a good book to give her is Dr. Laura Schlesinger's "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" but only after you read it yourself to make sure you're not upsetting her...


My advice is -

[] Nothing before her. Not your stupid friends, not your family, not your job, not your kids....nothing before her.

[] Do not make a major purchase or decision without the both of you being in total agreement on it.....because it will just cause the other to feel resentful.

[] Live below your means and save your money for a rainy day.....the future is unknown and if you're prepared for it, you can weather the storm financially. Plan for your future because you have no clue what it holds.

[] When it comes to kids, make sure you and her are on the same page about raising them, and disciplining them, and try to never let the kids see or hear you argue.

[] Enjoy your life with the love of your life, and always let her know how much you love her and show her tons of affection like holding her hand,going to bed at the same time as much as possible, keeping yourself between her and oncoming traffic, prove to her that chivalry isn't dead as far as you're concerned. People should know that the two of you are in love when they see you interact with each other.

And you'll earn bonus points if you play this song for her....or better yet, sing it to her. good luck!

Outstanding advice.

I've been married 21 years and the last two have been the hardest because of issues with teens and not being on the same page. We never imagined the issues we would be facing but that doesn't mean we couldn't have looked at hypotheticals.

Selfishness is the root of all problems in marriage (and really among mankind in general) and if you put her first, if she has any decency in her, she will reciprocate.
TerrElway is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 11:08 PM   #48
t-diddy
Seasoned Veteran
 
t-diddy's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Posts: 317
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaylore View Post
Khan's marriage advice.
4.) Women are never completely happy - ever. Have you heard of the Heisenberg uncertainty principle in quantum mechanics? It basically means that you can know how many subatomic particles are in an object, and where they are, but never BOTH at the same time. Women have a happiness uncertainty principle where they can never be 100?% happy with everything at the same time. They can be totally happy with one aspect of something, but will have a problem with something else. They more likely will only be 40-60% happy with everything. Also, sometimes if they are happy with something, they will analyze and pick at it until they've talked themselves into having a problem with it. The good news is this fluctuates so there will be times you are one of the things that she is happy with. Sometimes you will not, though. Be ready. From the highest queens to the poorest of homeless women, they will find something to be upset and unhappy about.
This is so completely spot on... describes both of my ex wives perfectly.

Oh and for the OP... anal. Not her, you. Do it early and often so you get used to it cuz you are about to spend a lifetime taking it in the ass.
t-diddy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 11:10 PM   #49
huh??
Back in the 5280!
 
huh??'s Avatar
 
...pretty good at lurking.

Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 470

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Steve Atwater
Default

Try to remember as many little things as you can. Women really like when their man knows how they like their eggs (breakfast) prepared, what each of you were wearing when you first met, favorite movie (song, color, gemstone, flower, season, fragrance, city, poem, carpeting in future home purchase, salad dressing, toppings on burger, clothing designer, cosmetic brand, movie actor, TV show(s), OBGYN, etc). That way, you can incorporate some of those things into daily life or during special occasions and she'll feel like you really ''get" her.

There's that saying; "It's the little things that kill.", meaning that the little quirks that each of you have that are oddly like a pet peeve to each other will eventually grow to become the things you hate about each other. Think about it: does the way she squeezes the toothpaste tube bug you? What about who leaves the toilet seat in whatever position? Clutter? Does she put her shoes away, or leave them all over the house? What about those fu*&ing "decorative" towels in the guest bathroom that nobody is allowed to actually use?

Umm, anyway... Kahn was right about communication. When you argue about something; make sure to argue fairly and not take cheap shots or resort to name calling. In most cases, let her be the "emotional one" and you can work on being the "rational one".

Drop the ego. It sounds like you've been together for a while, so hopefully you both truly know each other. Still, pride has ruined many relationships. Realize you are now supposed to live for each other.

In any event, best of luck!
huh?? is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-07-2013, 11:52 PM   #50
bowtown
Ring of Famer
 
bowtown's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 10,340

Adopt-a-Bronco:
Aaron Brewer
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rugbythug View Post
Be a leader. Its important. Remember the best leaders are servants.



Give up porn
What are you even talking about? Marriage is the porn renaissance. Until marriage you almost don't even need porn.
bowtown is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes



Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:39 PM.


Denver Broncos