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Old 12-01-2011, 12:10 PM   #1
MajorGCG
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Default WSJ: What Tebow Can't Do

More brilliance from the Journal:

Every day we are reminded of more things Tim Tebow can't do. He cannot throw a proper pass. He cannot stand still in the pocket. He can't run a conventional offense. He runs, but he doesn't run gracefully. He runs upright and frantic. He runs like he's stealing a toaster from the mall.

He's a cavalcade of failures. Why the Denver Broncos give him a paycheck, nobody knows.

Because Tim Tebow never lets you relax. He never puts a football game away in the first quarter. He forces you to watch the whole thing, with commercials and no fast-forwards. It's never pretty.

He doesn't put up Tom Brady's numbers. He doesn't put up Tom Brokaw's numbers. He's not impressing Broncos legend John Elway. John Elway acts as if he'd let the Broncos bus abandon Tim Tebow at a rest stop.

"Oh, where's Tim?" John Elway would say forty miles down the road. "Hmmm, that's too bad."




http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000....html?mod=e2tw
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:11 PM   #2
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Figures the article was written by a Gay.
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:15 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MajorGCG View Post
He forces you to watch the whole thing, with commercials and no fast-forwards.
Not to nitpick, but that really makes no sense. Unless they're saying that Tebow personally disabled everyone's DVR boxes.

(Just to clarify, I'm not saying he couldn't do it. Clearly, he could if he wanted to. I'm just saying he hasn't broken mine.......yet.)
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:16 PM   #4
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I liked the article. It was funny and well written and easier to parse than a Woody Paige missive.

Just make sure you read the whole thing. The punch line is, naturally, the last sentence.
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:17 PM   #5
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Tim Tebow never, ever makes everybody happy. He can't really do anything besides win football games. Since when did anyone care about that?


nice work
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:21 PM   #6
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Decent attempt at humor that will not be well received by the humorless.
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:25 PM   #7
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LMAO so anyone that isnt blowing tebow or has a Dream to blow Tebow , will be posted about here at the mane
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:33 PM   #8
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LMAO so anyone that isnt blowing tebow or has a Dream to blow Tebow , will be posted about here at the mane
Huh? No makie sensei.
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:34 PM   #9
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He runs like he's stealing a toaster from the mall... Ha-Ha love it!!
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:36 PM   #10
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Huh? No makie sensei.
go have another drink ......... and dont worry about it
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:40 PM   #11
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David Bowens, he'd be an upgrade

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Quote:
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He runs like he's stealing a toaster from the mall... Ha-Ha love it!!
I know. The funny thing was even though it was satire, that line was not totally untrue. Similar to Q: What's the difference between O.J. Simpson and John Elway?
A: One drives a slow, white Bronco. The other is a slow, white Bronco.
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:42 PM   #12
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Quote:
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LMAO so anyone that isnt blowing tebow or has a Dream to blow Tebow , will be posted about here at the mane
Ever notice that Spider never had a Tebow article/thread/post written about him
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:48 PM   #13
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the Big Tebowski?

http://blogs.denverpost.com/broncos/...offense/10916/
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Old 12-01-2011, 12:55 PM   #14
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!
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Old 12-01-2011, 01:20 PM   #15
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He doesn't put up Tom Brady's numbers. He doesn't put up Tom Brokaw's numbers. He's not impressing Broncos legend John Elway. John Elway acts as if he'd let the Broncos bus abandon Tim Tebow at a rest stop.
wat
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Old 12-01-2011, 02:08 PM   #16
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If you don't "get" the article (edit: and you are commenting on it) you are just making us all look bad.

Mouth

Spoiler: He is winning

(Edit: "Better to be thought a fool, than open your mouth and remove all doubt")

Last edited by Mouth; 12-01-2011 at 02:12 PM..
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Old 12-01-2011, 02:29 PM   #17
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Actually the offense he runs is conventional, but that would depend on your defintion of conventional.
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