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Old 11-24-2011, 02:28 PM   #1
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Default Woody Paige Is Unreadable

Is it just me, or is Woody Paige unreadable? WTF is up with his latest missive on The Denver Post?

"Let's see if we've got this straight: Ex-Broncos quarterback Orton replaces Matt Cassel, who was the quarterback ex-Broncos coach Josh McDaniels actually wanted as the replacement for ex-Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler, who, instead, was traded for ex-Bears quarterback Orton, and Cutler, who is injured, and Orton, it was believed, would become teammates in Chicago, but Orton and Cassel, who is injured, are becoming teammates in Kansas City."

http://www.denverpost.com/paige/ci_19403943

And then we get this gem: "Irony sure is ironical."

:facepalm
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Old 11-24-2011, 02:40 PM   #2
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Wow that is one epic run-on sentence...
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Old 11-24-2011, 02:41 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Armchair Bronco View Post
Is it just me, or is Woody Paige unreadable? WTF is up with his latest missive on The Denver Post?

"Let's see if we've got this straight: Ex-Broncos quarterback Orton replaces Matt Cassel, who was the quarterback ex-Broncos coach Josh McDaniels actually wanted as the replacement for ex-Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler, who, instead, was traded for ex-Bears quarterback Orton, and Cutler, who is injured, and Orton, it was believed, would become teammates in Chicago, but Orton and Cassel, who is injured, are becoming teammates in Kansas City."

http://www.denverpost.com/paige/ci_19403943

And then we get this gem: "Irony sure is ironical."

:facepalm
...that's a lot of commas.

Also...

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Old 11-24-2011, 02:53 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Armchair Bronco View Post
Is it just me, or is Woody Paige unreadable? WTF is up with his latest missive on The Denver Post?

"Let's see if we've got this straight: Ex-Broncos quarterback Orton replaces Matt Cassel, who was the quarterback ex-Broncos coach Josh McDaniels actually wanted as the replacement for ex-Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler, who, instead, was traded for ex-Bears quarterback Orton, and Cutler, who is injured, and Orton, it was believed, would become teammates in Chicago, but Orton and Cassel, who is injured, are becoming teammates in Kansas City."

http://www.denverpost.com/paige/ci_19403943

And then we get this gem: "Irony sure is ironical."

:facepalm
i'm guessing, too many appletinis before his turkey souffle today.
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:13 PM   #5
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you realize that that sentence is supposed to be confusing, right?

I mean, I know you don't actually realize that, because for all his emptiness and occasional idiocy and definite predilection for writing to form rather than content, Woody is the one guy writing about sports in a national paper with some actual writing talent--but do try to keep up.

and for the love of god don't call something a "run-on" just because it is longer than ten words. a run-on sentence is an actual grammatical problem--a sentence wherein independent clauses are joined without the proper punctuation and/or conjunctions necessary to differentiate them. that is not a run-on sentence.
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:18 PM   #6
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you realize that that sentence is supposed to be confusing, right?

I mean, I know you don't actually realize that, because for all his emptiness and occasional idiocy and definite predilection for writing to form rather than content, Woody is the one guy writing about sports in a national paper with some actual writing talent--but do try to keep up.

and for the love of god don't call something a "run-on" just because it is longer than ten words. a run-on sentence is an actual grammatical problem--a sentence wherein independent clauses are joined without the proper punctuation and/or conjunctions necessary to differentiate them. that is not a run-on sentence.
Learn how to capitalize your sentences, for the love of God!



Spin all you want. It's a poorly constructed sentence that isn't even funny. And Woody does this all the time. He insists on writing hard-to-parse compound sentences.

Less is more, Woody! Less is more.
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:24 PM   #7
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I don't think you understand. It is not a poorly constructed sentence. It is "complex" (mildly) because Woody wishes to convey the confusion and/or absurdity of the situation he is describing. that's about as by the books as it gets.

this is why people that write for broad audiences are "advised" to write at a fourth grade reading level.
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:26 PM   #8
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this is why people that write for broad audiences are "advised" to write at a fourth grade reading level.

should be: "...people who write for broad audiences..."
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:27 PM   #9
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you'll note I'm not turning this into a debate on grammar, much as you'd like to pretend I am.
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:32 PM   #10
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Get out of your armchair and go out in the world. Woody writes like American is spoke out in the working world.
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:34 PM   #11
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I'm with Extra on this one. It's meant to be a long and confusing sentence to match the situation.
And to correct someone for calling out a writer on a run on sentence which isn't one is hardly being a grammar Nazi.
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:47 PM   #12
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I love that the guy who starts the thread about the annoying analysts then moves on to a writer.

We get it, guy. You're smarter than everybody else, especially when it comes to talking football. The OMane League of Dorks has its king, apparently.
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Old 11-24-2011, 03:58 PM   #13
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Call me "Old School", but I think there are lots of ways to show how confusing the situation is without resorting to 12 commas in one sentence.

And the line "Irony sure is ironical." is just a cutesy fail.

"Humor sure is humorous."

"Cute sure is cutesy."

"Fail sure is failure."
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Old 11-24-2011, 04:00 PM   #14
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Old 11-24-2011, 04:51 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Armchair Bronco View Post
Call me "Old School", but I think there are lots of ways to show how confusing the situation is without resorting to 12 commas in one sentence.

And the line "Irony sure is ironical." is just a cutesy fail.

"Humor sure is humorous."

"Cute sure is cutesy."

"Fail sure is failure."
Wood sure is woody.
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Old 11-24-2011, 04:55 PM   #16
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Woody is always a good read, in my opinion. He's not afraid to take a side and stick to it. I like that. He's been right about Tim Tebow all along...and amongst the only writers who have been willing to give the kid a chance.

Woody also wrote about how stupid it was to trade Cutler and why in the world Pat Bowlen would turn his billion dollar franchise over to a 12 year old punk coach.

Woody gets two thumbs up from me! He's the best writer following the Broncos, hands down!!!
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Old 11-24-2011, 05:46 PM   #17
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that is not a run-on sentence.
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Old 11-24-2011, 05:55 PM   #18
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Call me "Old School", but I think there are lots of ways to show how confusing the situation is without resorting to 12 commas in one sentence.
that's actually supremely modern. go back and read anything from anything written before the 20th century.
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Old 11-24-2011, 05:57 PM   #19
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that's an awful nice smiley you have there

and yet you are still completely wrong. please take a look at that sentence and show me what part of it makes it a run-on. or maybe I could show you some three hundred word sentences that aren't run-ons instead.
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Old 11-24-2011, 06:15 PM   #20
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that's an awful nice smiley you have there

and yet you are still completely wrong. please take a look at that sentence and show me what part of it makes it a run-on. or maybe I could show you some three hundred word sentences that aren't run-ons instead.
There are several different clauses within that one sentence all connected by comma splices. And no, using "who", "and", and "but" over and over again does not properly connect those clauses. You can have fun with the idea of manipulating the rules of grammar so that you don't technically violate them, but no one with any sense is going to go along with you or take you seriously.
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Old 11-24-2011, 08:37 PM   #21
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you'll note I'm not turning this into a debate on grammar, much as you'd like to pretend I am.
You are either Woody or his butt lover.
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Old 11-24-2011, 09:34 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by Agamemnon View Post
There are several different clauses within that one sentence all connected by comma splices. And no, using "who", "and", and "but" over and over again does not properly connect those clauses. You can have fun with the idea of manipulating the rules of grammar so that you don't technically violate them, but no one with any sense is going to go along with you or take you seriously.
I don't think you know what either a comma splice or a clause is. But sure, no one will "take me seriously" if I am able to parse and/or construct, and certainly discuss, a sentence that would take more know-how or ability than is doled out in middle school to produce. Because no skilled writer would ever stoop to creating such a monstrosity. Certainly not a whose-who of the best writers to ever grace our language over the unfolding centuries. Hemingway syntax or bust, or at least that's what my freshman comp professor wearily mandated after confronted with an unceasing tide of amazing grammatical and compositional inability doled out over years and years of profound incredulity, waning standards, and surging enrollment.

Last edited by extralife; 11-24-2011 at 10:23 PM..
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Old 11-24-2011, 09:36 PM   #23
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You are either Woody or his butt lover.
Quote:
Originally Posted by me
I mean, I know you don't actually realize that, because for all his emptiness and occasional idiocy and definite predilection for writing to form rather than content, Woody is the one guy writing about sports in a national paper with some actual writing talent--but do try to keep up.
and we're back to the whole comprehension thing.
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Old 11-24-2011, 09:44 PM   #24
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Me thinks someone imbibed a little too much this fine holiday

:angrydrunk:
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Old 11-24-2011, 10:18 PM   #25
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The english language began with and has returned to arbitrary roots. Deal with it. We are not insects, there is no hive mind.
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